The Sherman Harper SAGA Part 4 Making Dreams Come True
by RRFerree
Summary: Slim and Jess march forward into the fulfillment of their lives at considerable cost.


SHERMAN-HARPER SAGA

PART FOUR: MAKING DREAMS COME TRUE July 2018

This story is based from the TV Series "Laramie" characters but takes them into their future after the show was cancelled. No copy write infringement is intended. FanFiction Rating M- older teens and adults. In my words, reference to sexual or violent events without explicit details and done in a tasteful way.

PLEASE BE SURE YOU'VE READ SAGA PARTS 1 THROUGH 3 BEFORE READING THIS PART 4.

PART ONE – THE INHERITANCE

PART TWO – THE BUCKBOARD INCIDENT

PART THREE – NEVER GIVE UP

PART FOUR (this one) – MAKING DREAMS COME TRUE

PART FIVE (to be written)

Beyond this one, SAGA Part 5 has to be written from scratch, it's not a part carried forward from Part 3 like Part 4 was. Bottom line, it will take a smidge longer to get it written. I have the concepts, they just need to be written. So slow down and enjoy this one over 310 pages and 13 chapters. It will be well into 2019 before Part 5 is ready. I don't know if there will be a Part 6 at all, somewhere I have to stop and clean house. Lol. Part 5 will have considerable movement forward in Jess' personal status that he was prepared with during this Part 4 so a lot of changes going forward. Your positive feedback is welcome and considered. Enjoy.

CHAPTER 1: SLIM AND JOSIE'S WEDDING DAY

CHAPTER 2: THE SUMMER OF DREAMS

CHAPTER 3: MOVING ON

CHAPTER 4: PASSING THE TORCH OF THE SPIRIT OF THE VAQUERO

CHAPTER 5: JESS' CHRISTMAS GIFTS

CHAPTER 6: SHERMAN BABIES

CHAPTER 7: TROUBLE IN PARTNER LAND

CHAPTER 8: A TALK WITH MY FATHER - THE TWIN DREAM INTERPRETED

CHAPTER 9: ANNIE

CHAPTER 10: ANNIE LOST

CHAPTER 11: LESSONS FROM THE DARK SIDE - A TALK WITH MOTHER

CHAPTER 12: HEALTHY NEW TISSUE

CHAPTER 13: IT'S A GIFT

CHAPTER 1: Slim and Josie's wedding day

Sarabeth finished all her college credits and semester two weeks ahead of schedule by taking extra courses in business finance and oil and doing nothing but school work. She wasn't interested in staying for the commencement because even though they offered to come, she knew her parents couldn't get away from the ranch's preparation for its busiest season. It didn't matter. Aunts, uncles, cousins and shopping aside, her life was back in Colorado and down deep she really cared less about Boston especially with Kensie gone. Her train ride home from college was due in Denver on May 15thand with a one day horse or buggy ride home to the ranch so the wedding was set and ready to happen on time by Memorial Day weekend. Naturally, the train ahead of hers had a derailment in southern New York State and caused her train to run into multiple delays just outside of New Jersey. She wired home and then spent the next week getting rerouted and detoured which caused her to get the scenic tour of eastern USA due to constant re-routing and scheduling. But she continually communicated through wires that she was still on target to arrive the day of the wedding come hell or high water and don't start without her. Her east coast life was coming by cargo shipment with an unknown delivery date, but she didn't care about that either. So since she was an accomplished horse woman and fed up with public transportation they had arranged a pre-dawn departure from the overnight train arrival (at 2 a.m.) into a string relay of horses operated by hands of her dad's ranch set up along the route from Denver to deliver her directly to the church. She had travelled with her hair pre-braided and was due in time to fix her hair dropping braids into hanging curls, change into her gown in the back room and walk down the aisle. Maggie was biting her nails but due to her strong organizational skills, most of which had become instilled into her young daughter, everything still worked out on time.

Slim was standing at the front of the sanctuary looking pathetically all alone except for the parson and the day couldn't go fast enough for him. But he was one polished, handsome son of a gun looking like a carved Greek mythological god, albeit slightly dewy in his complexion with pre-wedding stress. As they waited for the bride and her maid of honor Slim's mind reminisced for a few moments on all the preparation that had gone into this day. The women had managed to keep both the wedding gown and the bridesmaid gown secret from him and because Sarabeth's clothing sizes hadn't changed in 3 years, her gown was built based on her last purchased and fitted back in Boston and shipped home 6 weeks before the wedding. Daisy wore a pale blue dress. She was also wearing the matching flowery hat, the shawl and drawstring bag Jess had gifted her for all her nursing care. Slim didn't care what Josie was going to wear because he'd have married her in a gunny sack just to get hitched with her. Those things were miniscule in importance to Slim but there was one of the more fun parts of preparation came with the men's tailoring for the wedding.

In helping Josie put her wedding together Maggie was designated in charge of the men's clothing. So at Maggie's insistence Jess, Slim and Mike had to undergo several fittings for their suits which were made from scratch and custom tailored by a professional she'd hired before for "her men" for the as sundry birthday, prom, graduations and Jr's wedding. Jess, Slim and Mike's suits were set up in a deep but bright navy blue with an icy white-blue ruffled shirt and pale blue string ties since the wedding colors were a sky blue and a bright navy then for the ladies, with peach accents. The design of formal wear Maggie had selected for the groom, ring bearer and best man with the said fittings were done with professional tailoring, a particularly talented, even gifted guy in Denver she had utilized before. This tailor was gifted but also had expertise in creating a true trouser with an under lining backing designed to not only enhance a man's shape but add support to pertinent areas and that provided protection and comfort to what was in the age of baggy under garments leaving all things …. and that's why they all looked carved. Mike's tailoring even in a child's sizing made him look taller and beefier especially in certain areas that emphasize a manly shape and he couldn't stop grinning and kept finding mirrors and glass windows to stare into.

Jess' clothes were the biggest surprise. That is to say Jess' reaction to tailor fit clothing was the biggest surprise and even funny. With the tailoring, they actually "fit" his physic without looking like he'd been poured into them or they had been painted on over his par… well they were properly tailored. They didn't pucker making him look like he'd outgrown them by maturing into a man's shape nor by gaining weight. It all started at the beginning where Jess had never been to a tailor before so in the first appointment in taking measurements the close contact the tailor kept making caused Jess some serious consternation and nervousness. It was so much consternation the first event nearly turned into a brawl when the tailor had begun taking measurements of certain areas in the middle of Jess' anatomy and Slim had to quickly pull Jess back. Maggie diplomatically had stepped in to explain what the tailor was doing when reaching or touching this or that area in creating the proper inner lining of the dress trousers and only then Jess warily allowed it. They thought that would settle things down but then on the first fitting came the discovery of his new arch nemesis when he got skewered multiple times by torment devices they called straight pins. He'd used needles his self before, but those were controlled in his hands whilst patching things, had thread attached and those garments were off of his body and held by his hands. He had never seen a straight pin and, Jess being Jess, it took a few jabs before he got the idea it wasn't a rodeo and he needed to hold still. It had been hilarious watching him ricochet around the fitting room because one move jabbed somewhere else and so on as he bounced around the small room like ants were crawling up his frame only without the ants. Slim even teased Jess stating that put to music he thought Jess could've won a dance competition. That earned Slim a particularly dirty look. One time during the fitting of the um…well, the afore mentioned measured pouch around (Maggie's term was "framing") his dignity, he'd squealed very loudly like a stuck piggy discovering the absolute worst moment to bend over. THAT one got through, he instantly froze in place and whilst fighting off extremely wet eyes finally quit fidgeting but his lips were sure puckered over a drawn up chin. Slim was grateful that Jess finally quit moving, too, because he was not only out of breath laughing so hard at the pathetic, albeit boyish look on Jess' face, had Jess not froze and been surrounded by tiny enemy spears, Slim would have been running for his life! By the look he did get from Jess, Slim knew he was dadgum lucky Jess wasn't wearing his gun either and had wisely opted out of offering Jess bandaging. Jess' face spoke extremely clear, backing up his words in an indignant albeit higher octave, that if Slim 'had been skewered in "his framing" he wouldn't be laughing!' The tailor even left the room on that one and could be heard smothering laughter in the corner that held all the bolts of cloth. Right about then and concerned about the yelp, Maggie had called from behind the curtain outside the fitting room offering help which THEN caused Jess to suck in a gasp of air and his eyebrows almost leaped off the top of his forehead because his body was "frozen in place" surrounded by 'tiny spears' aimed at his 'framing' and he wasn't fully dressed. "!" Slim chuckled under his breath reviewing the memory whilst standing on the platform and several people looked at him.

Anyway, with the final fitting and everything turned right side out, Maggie saw Jess standing motionless fighting off misty eyes as he stared at his reflection in the mirror looking like an eighteen point trophy buck caught in a rifle scope. Anytime Jess was standing motionless with his face frozen and no straight pins in sight either, was cause for alarm in everyone's opinion. Her heart skipped a beat or two and she quickly looked with concern at Slim who was done and standing in his final fit and she nodded at Jess wondering if Jess was unhappy or disappointed after all he'd been put through. So Slim looked and saw Jess frozen in the mirror. Maggie's husband and two sons all had tailor made suits before, several of them and never looked like Jess staring in the mirror motionless. Slim quickly figured in his head some facts like he had been properly fitted by his mother while growing up and the Union Army fitted their officer's closely with available uniforms. On the other side, coming from poverty Jess had mentioned he'd grown up in hand me down clothes that never fit and his mother never had money to buy him new clothes fitting his constantly growing body. Then in the war the Reb army had been so severely underfunded by the time the Texans got involved, the uniforms were…. just sad. When the Union finally got ahold of Jess, again he received hand me down recycled uniforms that were mostly with sewn patches or he wore civilian clothes in disguise as a scout. So out of Jess' view Slim whispered to Maggie that it was very likely the first time Jess had actually ever been properly fitted especially by a trained professional. He explained to her that by the time he was finally able to buy himself rack clothing from the market stores he'd been clueless how to fit his self so they matched the puckering he was used to from his ill-fitted childhood. Then Slim had covertly taken Mike and the tailor into the other room on a made up muse but then watched to see what Maggie would do.

Maggie walked up next to Jess and put her arm around his waist looking in the mirror with him. Slim stood close enough so he could hear their discussion because he was even impressed with his own fitting. Still staring in the mirror but as though in a dazed dream Jess had very slowly put his arm across Maggie's shoulders welcoming her presence so Maggie asked a question to see if he had a problem or any concerns needing the tailor. Jess woke up from his stupor and had immediately waved off her concern but then he returned to looking in the mirror mulling over her question. It took Jess a minute to respond and then he shook his head and his hand waved down his body and then pointed to several key points on his frame where the garments looked particularly attractive. Apparently the 'framing' was truly enhancing his um …pertinent attributes without binding and were complimentary even from underneath a suit coat…. both front and back views. Jess was confused how something not binding could possibly make him look better than wearing things tightly fitted and out of his way and at the same time be so comforting in security in such a highly sensitive area. In trying to answer his concerns Maggie had lightly tugged on the clothes along the outside edges of his legs parallel in particular locations as she referenced them and explained in a motherly teaching manner it had to do with proper strategic placement of some things called pleating, those come from darts in those um… key locations and the bias of the material, or as she gestured pulling a diagonal of each type of material, to help it hang attractively. She had him hold up the tail on his jacket as they checked out both the front and the rear view of his trousers in the mirror. When she'd tugged lightly at the rear curtain area Jess had initially jumped like he believed she was going to goose him or jab him like one of those "dadgum spears." That brought a grin to Slim's face both in the tailor shop and now in his musings. She didn't goose him but barely touched the back seam with fingertips pulling the material too tight (like he normally wore it) and showed how the stress on the fabric certainly outlined particular parts and curves. About then Jess stiffened at the tight grab by the material as with raised eyebrows he looked very attentively in the mirror at what she was pointing at and then lightly wide eyed nodded in full agreement to the binding of certain parts up and down his pant leg and the said intersection thereof. He was holding his breath and Slim overheard Jess murmur leaning into Maggie's ear his concern that if she tugged the cloth any tighter "his picture was going to pop out from its framing." She explained that tight didn't mean secure because the fabric under stress could give way at the wrong moments. Then with both of them watching in the mirror she released the fabric to where the tailor had properly placed darts and gathers which augmented certain areas. Without being baggy and using the bias of the fabric it properly "framed" his attributes rather than grabbing on like a stretched out over-inflated oat sack. She explained that "framing augmented his attributes rather than high and tight leaving no doubt as to exactly what body part they identified even whilst covered and what was or was not there" as she put it. Further, when darts and the bias was done correctly, that framing wouldn't pull and tug during movement either yet it should not only support certain areas, but even protect them from gravity's harassment both stationary and during movement and do so in a manner producing comfort to the person wearing it. Jess had let his breath out at the return to the tailor made seam nodding at either the 'framed' or 'comfort' words. Slim wasn't sure which one but he'd snuck a quick look in his nearby mirror raising his own coat tail noticing the same technique and nodded his head with a raised eyebrow at the truth she'd revealed. She said when done right, all of it enhances certain features but at the same time leaves room to breathe and move and supports certain moving parts for their own protection. Jess had confirmed with her his understanding of her word "augment" meant "make it look bigger" and she smiled without demeaning him and nodded yes, he understood. Maggie's coaching and demonstrations were all done in a manner that was in no way embarrassing or demeaning, nor did she ever touch his parts or dignity. Slim had caught a full glimpse of Jess' face about that moment he was twisted around peering at his curtain area in the mirror and his eyes were opened wide. He looked very funny both holding up his coat tails, peering over them and still trying to stand up straight so the slacks were hanging correctly. It reminded Slim of a kid learning something brand new in a classroom or one staring at a whole counter full of candy. It brought another smile to Slim's face to see the former gunfighter so fascinated about something as simple yet functionally vital to him as learning the particulars of the fit of his garments. Sometimes Jess could be so engaging in the innocence of his discovery processes it just endeared him to those who knew him. Anyway, Jess shook his head at her words, he just knew he never knew gear could be created so comfortable and liked what they did securing and supporting indeed like a frame to a photo. He shuffled from his waist down looked like he was trying to wiggle something loose to drop out the bottom of the leg, which nothing did. Jess was just re-testing in disbelief something feeling that comfortable yet even without the waist belt did not fall off his non-existent hips and that there are other ways and means of adhering clothes to the body without gluing them on so tightly. She didn't tell him that aside from women having curves to help hold clothing up, those curves need support for protection and should be there in properly created clothing. Men have parts that need support such as the properly built inner lining of dress trousers and that pockets and tight belts are not support. Women have for centuries learned how to capture the "allure" in enhancing certain body parts without necessarily stretching the material skin tight to tease what's there or not there. Certain women do, but when the material is stretched over said parts, it becomes cheap-looking, not quality and is otherwise "over advertised." That stretching can actually magnify lessor becoming attributes at the same time which is then overall unbecoming. Jess was learning and that's all she deemed important at the time. In her view he was a man and men have other priorities than the details of clothing. As much as she left the business of cattle to men she was just as happy to explain anything of question or doubt if they had any and pursued an answer. It was most important to her that Jess was happy with the way the suit turned out, that he be comfortable so he could enjoy the event and that he feel his self best represented to the audience in which he would be paraded during his twin's wedding. That would be especially true since he was escorting her to the altar, she would be dressed to the nines and coiffured to the nth degree and be the center of everyone's attention.

Slim knew he had read Jess correctly…he was simply overcome having his clothes fitted to him for the first time, still nicely highlighting his best attributes even better than his attempts, but finding he liked wearing something properly fitting. He was even stunned it improved on his previous, untrained efforts. Initially Jess had put up quite a fuss that he needed tailoring at all because he had a way he liked to dress his self and had convinced his self he'd done a great job that couldn't be improved upon. But there he was staring in the mirror…at a large improvement. Jess had stepped down off the little platform with a new mindset and asked for a quick break where, even without any belt on, he went outside in his new gear to do a proper test drive. He mounted Alamo without stirrups and charged down the length of a block and came back doing a flying dismount then retied Alamo and without adjusting any clothes, came back inside. (He'd driven Maggie's buggy with Mike in the back and Slim had ridden as escort.) He got in the door walking immediately to Maggie in a direct line and in warm gratitude strongly curled Maggie into one of his tighter hugs then kissed her cheek and hugged her again adding in a light swiveling in place. They seemed in no hurry to separate spending several minutes as though dancing in place without music. Maggie simply curled back into his warm thanks enjoying his peace that she'd accomplished her goal of making him happy. Still every time they turned and he saw the mirror he was still checking his reflection from every angle in the glass windows and not adjusting anything. He whispered in her ear that he'd never worn garments that felt so secure without binding and were comfortable, especially "the framing pocket part" dealing with gravity and motion. She gently reminded him that a male tailor understands the needs of a male client since they both share the same type of parts. It was actually then a tussle getting Jess out of the suit to leave because it was so comfortable, but Maggie sweetly pulled rank and he reluctantly surrendered since her and Josie were ramrodding this "trail drive" and had pulled rank a couple times. Before they left, though, Jess had ordered up a repeat of several other sets of garments with the exact same 'fitting' some as work clothes and a couple for semi-business which he paid for from his oil money. Plus after checking etiquette with Maggie, he gave the tailor a generous tip. His excuse for the new clothes was as a "new professional" he needed to have the "proper gear" and Maggie had winked playfully at Slim as Jess politely but with insistence made sure the tailor understood he was to use the very same measurements as the suit. Maggie's east coast and wealthy upbringing and her years of dressing out her men in her life had given her an eye to detail nobody else seemed to have and she had found a truly talented tailor. She pulled it off for this wedding, too, not only for her men re-using their own tailored suits, but for Mike, Slim and Jess and they were all spiffy and polished. It was a wedding day memory Slim smiled at and had tucked deep into his brain's storage grateful to Maggie for such seemingly small details. Jess already had a suit, a vest and fluffy shirt he'd used before on town dances but they'd been off the rack ones and were ok to a civilian untrained eye. Somehow, someway this tailor had hit the nail on the head and Jess looked purely striking, "pleats, darts or bias what evers"… and even held on guard by straight pin spears, it was a pleasant improvement. Slim did too, but his focus was on other people per usual.

In his brain Slim filed the tailor memory right next to another pre-wedding memory. From a clue Slim dropped into Maggie's noggin that this would be Jess' only second attended wedding and first ever participant, Maggie took the hint and pulled off a rehearsal leaving no one feeling short on known etiquette yet expressing the details to the group not pointing out anyone specifically. Still, Jess had everyone in stitches laughing at some of his questions because he was "dadgum sure he wasn't gunna get caught holding no one's flowers again." "!"

Standing on the platform waiting and smiling with his memories Slim changed his gaze from the lobby where his funny pardner and soon to be brother was pacing and glanced around the filled room. For some reason there were more ladies in attendance than had been present for the funeral and they were all decked out and twitter pated smiling and giving little waves his direction which Slim acknowledged but ignored. The whole room smelled pretty like a flower garden, too. He wasn't sure why women seemed to show up out of the cracks and crevices for weddings. Still checking the lobby for updates with time dragging by, Jess was still in the lobby, just as decked out in finery with Mike in front of him and waiting for Josie and Sarabeth to come around the side yard outside to join them in the lobby for the main big entrance. No ladies, yet….sigh. All the guests were seated and the building was jammed packed full more than had been there for the funeral and everyone was happy it was a cool, sunny spring day with a significant breeze. The very same very old and slightly bent over usher was in charge of the lobby sanctuary door and seating everyone and when he and Jess saw each other they nodded in a friendly contact. Somehow the very old and slightly bent over usher managed to get everyone seated on time, if not just a little ahead of schedule. The organist was in full voice and delighted in providing solo instrumental renditions of every love song she knew, both of them, and the start was slowly delaying minute by minute. Jess and Mike began fidgeting in the lobby and Jess checked Mike's ring bearer pillow 15 million times to be sure the rings were there and the knots would come undone. It was a simple double ring set in wide bands. To the slight amusement of the said elder who took note, he watched Jess pace like a stallion pent up in a very small corral. Occasionally the said elder would glance at his pocket watch then at the floor path Jess was using and seemed a little anxious as though Jess might wear the old boards through seeing's how he always dragged his feet when stopping or changing directions. Mike was bored and finally sat down on a nearby chair. Going over the plan in his mind Slim tried to stay focused. Sarabeth was to lead the group in, followed by Mike, then Jess giving Josie away and then joining Slim for the ceremony and cuing Mike. Then he took another deep, slow breath. Maggie had told him several dozen times, or so he thought, to keep breathing. So that was his priority.

Jess was feeling both Josie's nerves in empathy plus his own, plus he was feeling for Slim fidgeting in the front of the crowd and facing the commitment of a life to his best friend's twin. So Jess was both giddy, serious and a bag of nerves all combined. Slim was turning into a bag of nerves the longer they waited. They had heard Sarabeth had arrived which is why the parson had gone ahead and escorted him to the platform, but nobody had seen her.

FINALLY, holding their skirts up at the sides, the two ladies came jogging around the front corner of the church and ran up the steps quite unlike two well dressed, high class gorgeous women in floor length and extremely expensive gowns and they were giggling and laughing. To look at them anyone would have thought these two women had grown up together or were sisters and they were both stunning in gowns and complex, very elegant up hairdos. Naturally from his tracking experience Jess saw the motion first, confirmed it was women and waved to the esbo (elderly slightly bent over) usher to close the lobby doors and saluted to Slim who took another deep breath and color began to return to his face. He looked at and nodded to Daisy sitting on his side of the church and she smiled and gripped her hands together in reassurance. Mort Corey had managed to get seated next to Daisy for some odd reason and boy was he all duded up and spiffy polished! Slim did a double take to confirm that was Mort. Sarabeth was in the lead and Jess opened the outer door and she came straight face to face with the fully decked out and perfectly coiffured best man. She skidded to a halt and immediately her giggling ceased and she lightly gasped and her eyelids fluttered quickly. Jess smiled and held his hand out to catch her should she fall forward tripping on her long gown and Josie nearly piled into Sarabeth's bum as she came to a halt behind her.

For the first few seconds Jess and Sarabeth's eyes met and they couldn't look away. Jess could instantly see a change that was like night and day in her countenance from Christmas time and it was stunningly beautiful in an obvious new confidence. Under the small peach-colored flower decked hat her golden blonde locks were half up, half down and to her waist still shone like spun gold in the mid-day's clear spring weather and her overall appearance sucked his breath away. Maggie had worked with Sara and used her east coast resources in obtaining the basics of the two gowns and Sara was wearing a light blue gown that exactly matched her blue eyes lighting up her perfectly smooth peach tinted countenance. Her gown was a modified a-line with portrait back and a sweep made from a soft flowing satin type material that was fitted exactly to her shape to just below the hip. From there it floated away from her body into the sweep that pooled behind her dragging about 18" on the floor without a petticoat or hoops. It complimented, even highlighted her curvy-form perfectly especially her wonders of the universe and her bootie and was the ultimate of femininity. And Jess gasped quietly at her elegance and had difficulty looking away from her, both front and rear views. Slim and Josie may have been looking at each other as Josie came down the aisle, but Jess was watching someone's backfield in motion that for that rare event was not covered up in a bustle or the ton of other mysterious under thingies women usually wore.

In the doorway of the lobby looking up at him with wide blue eyes Sarabeth thought Jess had grown taller somehow and neither one could breathe very well. The last time she had seen him he was black and blue and bent over in pain and entangled with bandages and slings, his hair mostly askew and constant growth of scruff he couldn't shave off because one arm wasn't working. Now he was the well-chiseled sinewy cowboy back to his usual lean weight with perfectly coiffured hair that had been mowed into shape appropriately about two weeks earlier. He had a shiny freshly shaved, tanned face that only lit up his blue eyes and icy white teeth (with a tiny, little gap) that was now visible because he smiled more when not in pain. And when he saw her he smiled really big trying to cover up the gasp at her beauty. Other than his first smile at Christmas it was the first time she'd actually remembered seeing him really smile big, it lit up the lobby and she felt her face grow hot in a blush. Whenever he smiled that large his blue eyes lit up like a chain reaction tied to each other. She didn't really notice the suit he was duded up in per se, but he sure looked carved and she took a firmer grip on her flower bouquet trying to control her hands from their desire to go on safari discovering his uncharted territory. Jess offered his hand to help her into position in front of the door and she smiled like she had a secret. She didn't have one, she was just flirting. By no means a planned maneuver, for some odd reason and out of nowhere Jess reached over and gave her a warm smooch on the lips and she returned it equally. As he stood back lightly tasting his lips he took both her hands in his and looked her up and down slowly in an impressed but not lewd way and smiled nodding slightly to the side, then in a soft, deep tone,

"You are absolutely stunning." He cooed quietly from the deep, baritone timbre.

She fluttered her eyelids, curtseyed and smiled, "Thank you. You clean up nicely yourself, Cowboy."

Jess bowed with his head and then as he offered his elbow to Josie but was out of her reach because he bent forward to Sarabeth's ear and whispered,

"Dadgum, have I've missed you." Of course he snuck a whiff of her hair as he returned to upright.

She looked up at him somewhat startled batting her eyelids. She'd been miserable without him and never figured he even thought about her since New Year's separation. In the four months he only had 3 letters written two of which were through Josie who had explained in her letters was due to his shoulder being tied up in a sling and then having had surgery delaying its recovery, and they were short as Maggie had advised. But to have him admit it verbally, stunned her.

Josie's wedding dress. Now that was a piece of art! Also purchased from the east coast but fitted by Maggie's tailor, it was ever so soft white, just one shade off of pure white, was in a satiny silk styled in a modified ball gown in material that shimmered. It had a sweetheart Queen Anne neckline with lace bodice and fitted sleeves with a tapering over skirt in the lace leading into a 15 foot train and leaving an open A-shape on the front of the skirt. The gown had a two hoop petticoat longer in the back to lift the 15' train in two tiers in graduated lengths. The veil pulled over her face complimented the lace on the gown, was elbow length and was beaded having a lace edge. It was attached to a feminine brimmed hat close to the shape of a cowboy hat, only a smaller brim and nicely highlighted her deep brown hair. Her hair was completely up but had cascading curls that flowed to her shoulders and being pulled up caused the new, little growth hairs around her face to frame her pearl colored complexion. The entire outfit completely enhanced, um…augmented her hourglass figure making her look almost like she had no waist at all. Exposure to old Denver society's social circles of women trained in fancy had left their mark on Josie's ideas of what a real wedding gown should be….and working from her own freedom added to Maggie's resources, she was spot on.

Jess turned to address the lady who'd taken his elbow, but she had her veil pulled over her face and her petticoat stuck out far enough he couldn't stand right up next to her. So he did a double take at this lady, then lifted a corner of the veil, in play, checking to see if this was his real sister and then shuffled not sure how to stand in close to such a wide skirt and not mess up the dress. He'd never stood into a literal petticoat hoop before and wasn't sure if you touch them they might break.

"Dadgum, you're pretty. Who's really in there?" He peeked under the veil and she giggled and batted his hand away.

"You know it's me, Jesse."

He gestured at the skirt. "Good thing you're my sister or ol' Slim and me'd be fighting this one out. That thing arrives 3 days ahead of you. How am I supposed to …an' not break you?"

She pulled his elbow drawing him right up to her side and he looked down at it amazed the skirt gave way, was soft and pliable and made no noise.

"Oh! Well, that was easy. ….nice soft landing, too." He looked forward as though he'd known all along.

Jess didn't miss a beat and was at the top of his game. It was only his second ever wedding and first ever time being in the action and having memorized the etiquette rules he'd drilled Maggie about, he was in control of that lobby. He stood perfectly poised ready for action and then just before the elderly usher opened the inner doors, in his deep voice and a serious dead pan face pulled at his collar with his other hand in jest he commented,

"Doggone it! I think my hair is wilting! If I faint, girls, just go on without me. I'll catch up..." He smoothed the ruffle down the front of his shirt, looking down shuffled his feet in place …. "somehow."

It might have seemed like a womanly type remark.. but coming from a deep raspy baritone and stunningly handsome and perfectly preened, impeccably dressed obvious alpha-male, there was nothing at all feminine about how it sounded. The absolute opposite comment as an obvious attempt at poking fun at women by self-incriminating depreciation broke the tension and everyone including the elderly bent over usher lost it in laughter. Everyone let out such a huge guffaw of laughter all the guests inside the church turned to look out of curiosity. Slim shook his head slightly in a knowing way that Jess was messing with the ladies. Mike looked up at Jess quizzically smiling but not understanding the joke with a typical male-literal mind and was pulling at his collar in angst. The organist changed to the processional intro and organ wheezed at the increased pumping, the elderly slightly bent over usher opened the lobby doors and Sarabeth walked through as though it had been rehearsed a hundred times. Most of the congregation did a double take and had it not been for Jess standing with Josie in her veil behind Sarabeth, they all thought Sarabeth could have been the bride. Even Slim's brow went up until he looked around her and saw Josie…and all the color drained from his face. Chuck, of course, as Sarabeth's father was stunned but absolutely beaming in pride fighting tears seeing his daughter all gussied up.

Poor Mike. Stuffed between two gorgeous women and Jess nobody seemed to even look at him. But Jess nudged him on cue and he was glad and walked so fast he caught up and almost stepped on the small train of Sarabeth's gown hurrying to his place on the platform beside Slim. Just as Jess and Josie reached the sanctuary entry door where they had to pause, he put his hand back on his chest and whispered to her,

"Keep breathing Baby Girl, or it'll be me that faints." And he smiled at her trying to keep her relaxed.

Josie, on the other hand, was a twin to a man well known not to back down and she couldn't get to that altar fast enough to suit her. Fainting was not anywheres close to her dictionary on this day. She sharply nudged him in the ribs with the hand in his elbow and he frowned yelling, "OW! Easy with those spurs, girl!" looking quickly at her face and reaching with his free right hand to rub his offended left ribcage and the congregation chuckled. Walking forward he mumbled "I'll get you there…." She was instead searching for Slim on the other side of the standing crowd and it was Slim's knees that got soft as he saw her all decked out in bridal finery. The sunlight pouring through the lobby back lit her choices of accoutrements, the veil gave the appearance of being surrounded by a halo of light. With Jess dressed in light over dark blue, it gave the whole image of her stepping out of clouds in the sky and her veil as angel wings. The moments were forever burned into his spirit and his eyes became very moist for some odd reason. But he kept wiggling his toes deep in his spiffy new and stiff boots trying to compensate and distract other parts of his anatomy again craving the moment he could pick her up and kick the bedroom door closed. His spirit had found its soul mate when she'd arrived on that first stagecoach over a year ago and had been continuously disciplined to the back burner. It had then pledged his self to her in the hall when she'd come back to him four months ago, or was it five? It was an eternity. Anyway, he'd never been so sure of a decision in his entire life and couldn't figure out why he wanted to just eat her up. But this ceremony was for everyone else and he wanted it over and done.

They somehow got to the front of the chapel without Jess fainting, tripping or falling and the parson got to "Dearly beloved we are gathered" and "who gives this woman to be married" and Jess' voice cracked when he said "I do." Then he blushed because he was supposed to say, "her brother." So he cleared his throat and added, "her brother" then quickly handed her off to Slim while folks were chuckling and watched as he took the three steps in one stride tripping his toe on the top step. Slim had to steady him and smiled at the normally cool, calm and collected former gunfighter not so collected and being this full of nerves so involved with or close to a marriage ceremony. But Jess looked around like nothing had happened and took his spot next to Slim whilst smoothing a hand down the ruffles on his shirt.

Not much else was remembered because the main participants went into brain fog until the organ screeched again with the exit song. Slim was frozen staring at his just kissed bride and holding her steady by the elbows because she was wobbling. Slim was a bowl of loose gelatin inside and trembling, too, but he'd never admit it. Their wedding kiss nearly stopped his heart in its depth of affection, she seemed to want to eat him, too. Jess nudged his elbow and then Slim literally took a gulp of air like a new baby being swatted after birth, turned Josie by her elbows and they jogged out the door, about 5 steps for him, with Josie running along hanging on his arm. Neither one breathed until they reached the lobby. Jess and Sarabeth were right behind them with huge grins plastered across their faces and Mike was behind Jess trying to not step on Sara's dress. Both girls jumped into the guy's arms off the 4 outdoor steps of the front porch and into hugs of relief and kissed again. Then trying to stay ahead of the emptying church they loaded quickly into a waiting decorated buggy for the chase to Elroy's ranch and the reception.

It was Chuck's heavy glossy gold trimmed, sand colored buggy/ an 1870's "limousine" and all decked out with white ribbons and bows pulled by two white horses just loaded with bells of all sizes, shapes and sounds. Jr had sourced the two white horses because nobody owned any. Daisy was right there grabbing Mike and hauling him into a separate buggy with Chuck and Maggie and Mort swung up on his steed ready for posse duty of the good kind. Slim and Josie, Jess and Sarabeth were in the back and Jr was driving being instructed to take the long route so people could beat them to the house and unload to meet them. Plus Jr knew the roads to come in a back way so they couldn't see the new barn. It worked like a charm and arriving last Jr unloaded the buggy at the front door where you couldn't see the rest of the ranch – basically the formal entrance to the ranch. Slim had asked why Maggie put the reception at Elroy's house since it had been sold and in a straight face Jr told him the "new owners had yet to move in and they didn't want anyone to think the house was standing empty for robbery since it was still loaded with Elroy's things." Of course Jr was in on the secret by now but sworn to silence and he was eating up every moment of putting something over on Slim. The answer sufficed the curiosity and as Slim held Elroy's house front door open for Josie she looked up at him and said,

"I still love this house, but at least my reception will be here."

Two paces behind them Jess just grinned ever so slightly with a poker face on a raised chin of "innocence" and followed them in then smiling broadly at Sarabeth who somehow seemed to always be connected to his left elbow. She seemed to fit comfortably there and Jess never fidgeted once opening doors for her and cupping (very) closely around her allowing her to precede him through any place that was single file…always dipping to take a whiff of her hair. Although Jess would never have admitted it, the form fitting dress Sarabeth was wearing was causing him some difficulty keeping his hands off. It certainly wasn't stretched tightly over her parts, but that must have been the same tailor who did her dress as his suit because there just had to "be darts and bias done right everywhere perfectly framing and augmenting her attributes." He thought he'd noticed everything about her before, but there wasn't one angle looking at her that didn't do strange things inside his body. And Maggie was right, not being stretched tightly over her body like the working girls did advertising everything, Sara's complete look did more to create allure to his poor hormones than a whole herd of those other ladies. It was like he'd never seen such a svelte view of a woman's shape not covered in all the fru-fru they wear or obviously hanging out in plain sight. He looked like a bee flitting around her looking for an appropriate landing spot.

The house was decorated tastefully but to the hilt in wedding motif and was wall to wall people, gifts and the cake table was in the middle with punch, tiny sandwiches, snacks and party gifts. Mr. and Mrs. Drs. Tim, Esquire John King, Mort and everyone from Laramie was there all gussied up and smiling. Slim and Josie were escorted to the table and after Slim thanked everyone for coming, they cut the cake and lightly smashed their pieces into each other's mouth and then kissed off the remnants, toasted each other with champagne and then several people including Sheriff Corey offered a toast. Jess held back waiting. After Slim thought everyone was through, he thanked everyone again and asked for leniency to open their gifts after returning from their honeymoon and everyone agreed to whatever the couple wanted. Just before Slim looked ready to invite people to come through the cake line, Jess stepped up and stood beside them at the cake table startling Slim. Under the table was a huge gift wrapped box about 4' x 4' nobody had noticed under the oversized table cloth.

"Before everyone wanders off, I have a toast." Jess winked at Sarabeth and she backed away.

Everyone turned back giving Jess the floor and Slim and Josie looked at him warily.

"I'm not one for a lot of words…"

"Since when. You've been spurting them out pretty good lately." Slim interrupted but Jess made a face and ignored him.

"These two people are probably the closest people to my heart for reasons most of you know. Or not. Slim and I met about 6 years ago and I can safely say we changed each other's lives for the better. Josie is my twin sister and our lives came together again against all odds. I couldn't be happier for both of them and the deecision they've made to build their lives together and this is my way of just giving them a little nudge down that path. But they have to open it now."

He reached under the table and pulled the huge box out and handed it to Slim. It wasn't awfully heavy, just bulky. Some of the wedding attendants slipped some items to the side of the cake table so he could use it.

They both blushed and through grit teeth Slim asked, "Ok, Slingshot, what have you done now?"

"Oh just open it. You help him Jose." Jess' demeanor and tone was completely neutral and he took Josie's elbow and nudged her to Slim's side to help. She was glaring suspiciously at her brother and bumped into Slim who graciously steadied her.

Slim and Josie started opening the box gently tearing the paper and got it off. Slim ceremoniously opened his Japanese pocket knife and cut the box tape and pulled out a second smaller gift wrapped box. Slim and Josie immediately knew this was a gag gift and began tearing into it quicker, still finding smaller boxes inside.

Slim commented, "I'll have grandkids before I get this open." He smiled at his joke and the guests chuckled. Mort followed that up from the front of the audience with, "You're obviously not keeping Jess busy enough with his ranch work."

As the gift got smaller, the wrappings and boxes began flying over their heads behind them when they finally got down to a box wrapped in a gold foil paper and was about 12" x 12" x 3".

"Ok, now we're getting somewhere…." He folded the knife and tucked it in his pocket. The room was completely hushed.

He offered it to Josie but she pushed it back to have Slim open it. So he unwrapped this one carefully and opened the wood carved box inside. In the box was a large envelope and he began to get really suspicious. Jess had stood back and wrapped his arm around Sarabeth's waist in a side hug watching the show and fingering a curl, still with a completely straight poker face. Chuck and Maggie were arm in arm watching Slim and Jess and Chuck was impressed with Jess' straight up poker face and shook his head slightly in admiration.

"Jess, you didn't." Slim's forehead went up thinking now he knew what was inside but it was so far beyond imagination he didn't believe it.

"Open it! Open it!" Josie was clawing at Slim's hands and he bent down slightly so she could see and he carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the legal documents scanning it briefly.

"What is it, Slim!" Josie was still trying to see into Slim's big hand but he'd already read it so he handed it to her.

Slim's eyes were definitely having difficulty with water, his forehead went up and his face and jaw froze and he just stared at Jess in stunned silence. It was a good, very long silence as he fought back tears of disbelief. It didn't take much looking at Slim's frozen face to see the gift had hit him deeply and Jess looked down briefly then back up through lifted eyebrows hiding behind the forehead curl. Josie had to read through most of the top page because she'd never seen a deed before. She got mostly through it and poked Slim in the ribs. He looked down at her and with glazed eyes full of questions asked,

"Is this really….?" She pointed to the floor. Slim nodded yes but looking back at Jess.

Josie confirming it was the deed to the property opened her mouth to scream in delight when Jess held up his finger to his mouth and then holstered it. She put both hands over her mouth smothering her scream but her eyes were wide open and she was in flight standing still jogging in place in tiny steps and SHE began fighting tears. Not misty tears, bawling tears. Everyone was silent and staring at them and began to whisper in hushed tones. Slim finally found some composure and still staring at Jess, he took the papers back from Josie and held it up as if the crowd could read the small printing.

"Folks, I..um…I'm sorry but I don't know what to say. This is the deed, free and clear, to this ranch." Slim was definitely fighting back tears and his brain was reeling in disbelief. He put his arm over Josie's shoulders and she could feel him trembling.

Jess had his arm over Sara's shoulders but his fingers were right on spot holding the end of a length of clothes line that had been discretely strung. He gave it a good tug which opened a banner that unfurled over the fireplace the cake table was facing. The banner read, "Welcome Home Mr. and Mrs. Sherman." Everyone heard the sound of it opening and turned to read it.

There was a full five seconds of stunned, absolute silence then the entire houseful of people erupted in applause. By now the Elroy cowboys had heard the news that the "tall blond guy from Laramie was the new owner" rippled like ocean waves through the cowboy crowd and yells of "hip, hip hooray!" filled the house and spilled into the yard outside. Pushing and shoving each other they all ran into the yard and commenced their own party that sounded like the end of a long trail drive with several hundred rounds of gunfire shooting up at the unarmed clouds. After everyone stopped clapping, Chuck stepped forward with Maggie under his arm.

"There's more, Slim. C'mere you two." He waved them to follow and parted the people like the Red Sea and then he opened the back door to the view of the whole ranch with the brand new barn in plain view. Someone else on cue pulled the drapes back on the floor to ceiling window revealing the inner court and new barn of the ranch.

"It's a little too bulky to gift wrap, but to go with the ranch I'd like to present the newly rebuilt barn, feed barn, all new tack and tack room which replaced the one that burnt down. As Maggie and my wedding gift to you two it's been built with all brand new timber from the ground up but more importantly, as the gift part, it was rebuilt to specifications Jess sent us as being your own design. Of further gift and not likely you'd hear from your best man there, but, Bolero did not have to be destroyed. Your best man there is too modest to admit he has rehabilitated the stud from his fire trauma and is back on the list of safe horses and available by contract for services." Chuck just had to get his commercial injected into the goings on.

Slim and Josie were both fighting tears and staggering as another collective gasp went through the guests inside the house as they looked through the window at a huge log barn. Chuck had his wranglers doing valet parking for all the guests with the instructions wanting nice and tidy parking with all the guest horses standing neatly in a row tethered along its entire length. Everyone's buggies were parked neatly in the circle lap around the arenas.

"Maggie, Chuck, I'm still at a loss for words. Thank you so much!" Slim reached to give Maggie a side hug and kiss on her temple and exchanged strongman handshakes with Chuck. Josie reached on her toes to give Chuck a kiss on his cheek nearly falling into his robust frame and she hugged Maggie with a full body Harper er…..Sherman bear hug.

Sarabeth was looking up at a hero from under his arm and Jess was looking at his boots then pulling one toe behind the other calf polishing the scuff from the church step with the back of his pant leg. Maggie knew what to do with the stunned guests and she grabbed Daisy and they cleared the package boxing and started lining everyone up to go through the cake and punch line. Sarabeth stayed next to Jess and Chuck came over as standby…..just in case he'd need to pull the groom off his best man.

Slim had the deed paperwork still in one hand and Josie's hand in the other and he turned and walked straight into Jess' face and with full hands and jaw set still grabbed Jess by the lapels, their faces about 18" apart and walked him backwards straight against the wall. Jess' eyebrow peaking in the middle trying to not grin in Slim's face. Slim shook Jess lightly against the wall Jess was leaning on but couldn't get any words out. Josie started punching Jess on his forearm in giddy happiness and he flinched and lifted his leg slightly. He was trying to cover important certain anatomy parts against any assault of jubilance she might launch in her barely restrained emotions by accidentally hitting him in personal areas while he was trapped backed into the crowded corner. Josie was well known to him to be overly confident in her physical contact with his body. Slim pulled her off of Jess by her shoulders and looked back down at the deed, logic started flowing in his stunned brain.

"This is the estate money, isn't it?" Slim's voice cracked in a dry mouth.

"Well, yes…no…." Jess hem hawed. "Started with my oil, ended with Josie's estate. You both said you wanted to buy this place. This way, as a wedding gift, it's both Josie's dowry and your ownership as a spouse. So you're 50/50 owners and you can teach Josie how to manage an estate." Jess was now grinning and his blue eyes were lit with delight having pulled off his coup d'état and deelighted to turn over teaching Josie money matters to Slim.

"But Chuck…" Slim waved at the grinning rancher with his own eyebrows peaked. "You said the property had already sold." Chuck just grinned and nodded back to Jess – it was Jess' poker game and Chuck was thoroughly enjoying watching the two partners deal with each other.

"It had. We closed the deal just minutes before you two returned from touring the place." Jess popped Slim on the side of his bicep with a small bounced step of 'I gotcha ' and kept talking. "Technically, I reserved it with my oil money until Chuck had a chance to get Elroy's will fulfilled plus he wouldn't finish a sale until he'd rebuilt the barn. He wasn't about to sell it in less shape than Elroy left it. Once the barn was finished being rebuilt, the Will finalized and the ranch back in operation he knew I would complete the deal with the estate money and deed it to you as both a dowry and wedding gift."

Slim pushed Jess against the wall again by his lapels again barely 18" apart face to face with Josie squished between them. Jess put his forlorn boyish face on with a slight smile that broke Slim's face.

"Dadgum, Jess!" His jaw was still set above glassy eyes with overfull emotions staring straight into Jess' face. He wanted to both hug the daylights out of Jess and punch his lights out at the same time. Then without turning loose of Jess he looked at Chuck.

"So why didn't you tell me who bought it? It was just Jess."

Jess covered for him. "The Will wasn't even officially opened yet, Slim. I knew property like this could go fast, so I jumped in line with some oil money and he held our deal until the Will made it officially his to sell. I didn't want anything to happen that could mess up the deal for Chuck or you guys and asked it held a secret so's to not interfere with his legal commitments finishing Elroy's estate and that was not scheduled until after we'd gone back to Laramie. Plus it gave you all time for deecision making."

Josie was becoming overwhelmed by the day and the gift. She edged Slim back a ways and took Jess' hands in hers lifting them to his chest. After a quick check glance at Slim to be sure he wasn't about to get swatted, Jess finally looked down to Josie's upturned face and zeroed his focus on her.

"But Jess, this is a horse operation. You had the estate money, you even have oil money. You should've bought it for yourself and made it a Harper homestead. With the oil wells I'm positive you could have gotten a mortgage thing. Slim was marrying me, I don't need that estate money."

"I did buy it, owned it for 4 months while Chuck got it put back into shape so's I could rightly gift it to you all as your dowry. It's all there in the deed read it for yourself. I'd rather have you alive in my life than to own anything off of your death, Sis, however short that was, and we made you legally alive again so the estate money was not really mine to spend on myself. 'Sides, a horse ranch and you two? Couldn't be a better fit and you both need it to build the life you were both born to and not so much making due with what dreams your parents handed down they didn't get done. So enjoy the house that came outta your brain without you knowing it was there." He was smiling broadly and lightly tapped her head with his finger of their joined fists.

"Oooh! I could just beat you up!" she was almost in a pout of anger and started lightly pounding his chest and within two hits that he grimaced with grabbing her hands tighter and she turned into a crying puddle. "Oh, Jess! I can't believe it's really mine. I've got my brother, the man of my dreams and the home! All because you saved me on that stagecoach attack."

Jess pulled her into a tight hug where she unloaded tears of happiness into his chest exactly the same way as when he'd revealed she was his twin. Jess kissed the top of her head and cradled her as she unloaded some pressure. Sarabeth rubbed Josie's upper arm compassionately and Slim and Chuck smiled at them. Slim put his hands on her back shoulders and then looked at Chuck and back out the window at the barn;

"I can't wait to see that barn either, Chuck! We were really reaching for the stars dreaming about that barn design so it's got to be a dadgum palace!" Then back to Jess as a new thought hit him, "What am I going to do with the ranch in Laramie?" Slim continued softly.

"Hey! Nobody's getting rid of the original homestead, Slim. But that piece of property is your Pa's dream. You, Andy, now Mike needs to begin building their own dream and now you can build yours by finally expanding beyond what your Pa built. Andy's got to grow a family, Mike, too, and me. Four men grow families? We can't all live on that one site and have room to breathe. There's more estate money and there's property between there and here is due to go up for sale soon, too. We can grow them toward each other and let Andy develop that end when he clears college in a year and you grow this end and head them towards each other. He needs an inheritance and Mike'll need something to grow into, too. Andy's degree is in Animals and Mike's been asking tons of questions about the railroad, they can run the main high pasture and railroad loading end of the cattle business, I think Chuck calls it 'fulfillment'… and you can take over here in the horse business blazing the trail with cattle expansion. All this business is going to need a lot of horses and promotion. We need a front man to the public for the group of us. Give you some time to grow up a family. It's not replacing your ranch, Slim, but I'm trying to look down the road a few years. It needs to be expanding AND making room for Andy to have his own place to develop now he's grow'd up. He can even remodel it to suit his self."

"What are you going to do, Jess? I want you down here with us and I'm not turning loose of you."

"Me neither." Josie piped in muffled with her face buried in his chest then she sniffed. She had both hands full of Jess' coat lapels right at his stomach and Slim heard her to be talking literally.

Slim reached for his bandana stuck in a back pocket and tapping the top of her knuckles stuffed it into her hands. "You're wrinkling Jess' new suit, Josie." He whispered trying to salvage Jess from her grip. Women never seem to have tear catchers. Josie turned loose of Jess' coat and blew her nose and Slim's face relaxed.

"Not going anywhere. Got plans, too, and an oil business to run. Jr's going to be tied up with a new baby coming in another month, they'll need some back up here. Someone has to oversee the pasture up in Laramie until Andy gets on his feet. There's more than enough for everyone, Slim. No one's going away, we're just growing up is all and expanding into the larger cattle ranch you and your pa dreamed of having."

Chuck just smiled watching the two partners work on their ideas. Chuck had been impressed with Jess back in Texas when he was a boy always seemed to looking toward the horizon looking at things in the long term basis just like he was doing now. Jess was planning ahead for Slim's brother and their ward, people he was loosely related to, but always panning what was 'out there.' It was probably what made their partnership work so well, one dealing future and the horizon, the other handling now in vision and up close focus.

Daisy came into the group shoving plates containing pieces of candies, crust less sandwiches and cake into Jess, Sarabeth and Chuck's hands and Maggie followed her with glasses of champagne.

"You're gunna live down here with Josie and me. There's tons of room in this house."

"Absolutely!" Josie echoed now having grabbed his wrists and gripping them unmercifully causing him to wince and pull them free whilst trying to balance his plate of food morsels and brew.

"Ow! Hey, I'll be floating between there and here. It's gunna take months maybe a year or so to get everything to lay down, gunna take both of us to cover this much land. 'Sides I got nieces and nephews coming, you ain't getting rid of me! We'll take it as it comes. Now, you two better go work the room and start setting up your network so's you can get out of here and start working on my nieces and nephews." Jess pointed to the room with the fork off the plate. With his big mitts he had moved the neck of the glass between fingers and was holding the plate with the other fingers of the same hand.

He'd known from the experience when Josie saw her first gunfight and what he'd experienced near the fireplace as Slim had comforted Josie's fear that he'd have to back off some to give Slim and Josie their privacy so they could get a good start on their marriage. But now was not the time to discuss it. Floating between the original homestead monitoring that until Andy got back from college, plus the oil wells, then at the DKBS helping Chuck while Jr was welcoming their second baby would keep him moving between the three ranches and was an answer to giving the newlyweds their privacy and bumper space to their twin empathy during marital rituals. He certainly wasn't going to become Slim and Josie's adult child neither but this wasn't the time or place for that part of decision making.

Slim waited for Jess to take a sip of the drink loading both hands full and he took the folded up the deeds and reaching beyond Jess' hands holding food and drink, tucked them into Jess' inside coat pocket and patted it. The move surprised Jess and he flinched nervous to any man putting things onto his person as he watched Slim's hands bury papers in his coat while his own hands were full. Again Slim then grabbed his lapels and lightly shook Jess back and forth while Jess tried to steady the champagne.

"I'm gunna talk to you about this later. Here, you hold these and guard it ….as my earnest investing into the Sherman-Harper Enterprises in return for all you've done for me!" Slim was speaking between grit- teeth, a strong jaw and…. eyes brimming over flow fighting back tears. This day had suddenly and without warning exploded in dreams coming true and Slim's chest felt heavy with emotion.

Looking like he was commencing CPR on Jess' chest whilst standing up Slim held his hands folded on top each other over Jess' heart and they held eye contact for several moments, both of them remembering not so long ago when Jess had buried his poker winnings and cattle IOU into Slim's pockets just before the buckboard accident. Those documents had started all this new growth exploding into their lives and this was the next chapter and it was Slim's turn to load it in.

"I'll be right here, Pard." Jess smiled back but speaking softly, glowing deep inside that he'd made the right decision and pulled it off perfectly.

"You'd better be or I'll chase you down to the ends of the earth." Slim threatened while taking Josie by the arm and turned to start mingling with their guests. "Me, too!" Josie echoed between sniffs. She pulled free of Slim's hold briefly suspending his departure and he watched as Josie went back to Jess and pulled his lapels down until she could reach his face. There she planted a big smooch on his lips which he tenderly reciprocated, they hugged briefly and she turned to re-grab Slim's hand with one hand and she stuffed the used bandana into Slim's coat pocket with the other. Jess' face was slightly blushed and his eyes were proud of her but they were moist with love as he watched his twin depart from his responsibility and follow her husband into his world. He'd found his twin by saving her life from an assault and brought her back to health and into an emotional stability. He'd rightly positioned her to enter into a marriage balanced in her head's thoughts as to her life's purpose. Now she was walking forward into someone else's primary responsibility and he had to take a back seat. It was both joy filled but sad. Chuck and Sara were watching and he offered a handshake to Chuck with a reassuring smile because obviously his face was "telling" on him and Chuck was reading his soul down to the crossed "t" and dotted "i". Chuck nodded a "good job" and winked at him for their combined adventure then turned to find Maggie.

Jess cut a bite of cake with the fork and offered it to Sarabeth and with his mouth mirroring hers. She accepted it very delicately, then he reached down and gave her a quick smooch as she started to chew. She swallowed and lifted her champagne glass to his mouth and he drank a swig…. Yes, they kissed again, but then Jess snuck Sarabeth out the front door where no one was loitering and out to the front drive through the porch and into the bushes up next to the house he did a proper job of welcoming her home. This time his right arm was not in a sling tied to his body between them and his legs were whole enough to support both their weight. So placing their food and drink on the porch rail he picked her completely up then standing behind the bushes he set her down with her back to the building, planted his body squarely up to hers and secured her body length with his against the log wall in firm contact. This time it was with a classic Jess-smooch and nose to neck hug lost in her long hair whilst sharing some more full body contact as it had been back after the barn fire in her parent's home. It was done without one word and was sufficient to remove any doubt whatsoever in Sarabeth's mind that he'd forgotten her during her absence. He nuzzled her neck whispering in her ear a soft, "welcome home." Not one hair on her head was out of place but she was flushed and sufficiently convinced while brushing away sweet tears leaking from her eyes when within a few minutes hand in hand they regathered their food and he led her back inside to avoid causing any gossip or detracting from Slim and Josie's celebration. Inside, he had his arm draped across her back while assessing the partiers. His mind was already tracking like a radar for suspect indications of a chi vary. She was gazing up at the side of his face in new wonderment if she'd be able to continue breathing if he did any more than just one of his simple kisses and hug now that she'd experienced one from his healthy body. By golly, but his touch was always so gentle belying the power she felt from his muscled body. She wondered if such a simple kiss, hug and full touch of his body feeling his every curve could cause her to nearly pass out, then how much love and passion could come from within this man that her spirit had latched onto with such peace and confidence? She began to perceive a fathomless pool of love deep within him that had never been tapped or reciprocated because he'd been betrayed early in the processes and he'd withdrawn hurt, again. She noticed residue from her lipstick on the side of his mouth and gently reached up and wiped it away with her napkin and he turned and smiled at her unbothered or embarrassed by her help. She saw that same flicker in his eyes as when he'd pulled her down protecting her from the wild bullet… and peace returned to her knees realizing no matter how powerful and dynamic his love is, he'd never overwhelm her for his own pleasure. But his genuineness was what removed all doubt as to what his heart was communicating. He noticed her slight frown and lightly kissed the furrow between her eyebrows and she relaxed her face and more than her mouth, her eyes smiled back and he winked.

Jess was delighted to see her pick right back up catching the little nuances of their unspoken communication and her intelligence properly processing them. But this was Slim's time and Josie's and they deserved the day and priority. Once the newlyweds were off into their honeymoon he could pour his attention to Sarabeth. Now almost like smelling Daisy's apple pie, he was sensing and then began overhearing updated plans floating of having the stagecoach of choice chased by an armada of cowboys including the partying hands deliriously happy with their new boss and wanting to indoctrinate him properly. Jess knew to his boots that Slim was the perfect quarry for such shenanigans and was so generous he'd not have any defense up. So Jess secretly had Jr pack their waiting luggage in a buckboard and leave during the reception agreeing to be met later at a secret location a mile away. Jess also arranged two unmarked ranch horses with ribbons on their forelocks to be left near the house knowing both bride and groom were excellent riders and would tell them where to meet the buckboard. After the bouquet throw he clued Slim in to the plans and locations then started a dance game in the living room. He enlisted Sarabeth's help to follow his lead and she jumped right in without questions. The first couple on the floor was Slim and Josie, then joined by his self and Sarabeth, then Chuck and Maggie, Jr and Bess, Daisy and Mort and they'd all switch up partners and the entire guests would load on the floor. Then Jess would take over the entertainment lead and create some kind of funny diversion where the bride and groom could slip away on the horses and meet up with the buckboard. They would drive the buckboard to Cheyenne or Denver (their choice and secret) and leave it in the livery, load on the stage from there and take off on their honeymoon. The plan worked like a charm as Jess found some spoons and started directing the little band Maggie hired for live music and the reception turned into a shindig of the decade. Jess had the entire living room, dining room and kitchen jumping in a lively dances shuffling partners when the music would change songs. He'd lead while playing spoons and then covertly Jess nodded to the waving couple as they snuck out the kitchen door and slipped away with Daisy's help. The party continued into dusk and people began to notice Slim and Josie were nowhere to be found and they began slipping away. The gang planning the chase became too drunk literally and ended up sleeping, um….passed out.. in the yard, the corrals, anywhere that wasn't moving. The hosts were very happy when it down poured rain the night afterward and washed the ranch down.

When it was told later, Slim and Josie decided since they'd evaded the chase, they'd spend their first several nights at a nice hotel outside of Cheyenne that Slim had found on one of his stage business trips and had never told anyone about. It was more of a 1800s early version of a bed and breakfast type location with individual cabins along a gurgling river bank just off the beaten trail. Then they took the stage five days later into Cheyenne and other locations forever held in secret and was gone for a total of 3 weeks. At the end of the second week Jess received a letter with an 8 x 10" tin type photo of them in their wedding attire that had been done in Cheyenne and had taken a week and half to make and then to reach Laramie by stage. There was a short letter signed from "Mrs. Sherman" reporting they were having the best time of their lives living a dream. She said a special 'thank you' to Jess for his counsel on the marriage aspects reporting that Slim was all and more than she'd ever dreamed of and everything he'd told her about Slim's character and moral attributes was accurate. They didn't really want to come back, but were so excited to start their lives together and reach for the new ranch they'd be returning on time. It included a thank you to everyone who made their dream a reality. Jess passed the photo around but read only pertinent parts of the letter out loud, then tucked it away with the hair gift from Sarabeth and his gun. He later took Sarabeth to Cheyenne and she helped him pick out some fancy wood from a logging company there and brought it home where he built a very large and fancy type frame for the tintype suitable enough to fit over the fireplace. Nobody could drag it out of the newlyweds where all they went, but they came back driving a new buckboard that was built in Canada and drawn by two young Morgan mares. The buckboard contained their things, new souvenirs for the life together and extra gifts for everyone who was in the wedding. Before the wedding the group had made a decision to start life back at the homestead until this year's cattle drive and the weanlings were finished and toggle back and forth to the new ranch over the summer, then once the cattle crop was settled, move full time to the new ranch in the fall. By then they'd have the original homestead set up with hired hands to manage the pastures and the dwindling stage business.

CHAPTER 2: The Summer of Dreams

Back at the homestead for the first two weeks during the honeymoon Jess had some carpenters from town come out and help him enlarge the existing Sherman house but in a way that would eventually purpose its use as a bunkhouse once Andy returned and took over. They took out another 10 feet of timber behind the house and moved the fence back. Roughly speaking, he enlarged the house by at least another 3rd it's size all at the back on the other side of the dining room and Daisy's bedroom outside walls. Then they lengthened the hall leading from the kitchen toward the back fence with a back door and divided the hall into an enclosed supply room nearest the kitchen and enlarged what Slim had started making a better indoor bathroom at the back end of the hall nearest the outside door. He wanted a bathroom that served both the house and added a sink as a cleanup area away from the food preparation when cowboys came in filthy from work. Between the two rooms was a door entrance to a big master bedroom for Slim and Josie extending along the back side of the dining room wall and Daisy's outside wall. The bedroom was on the other side of the back wall of the dining room and between those two rooms was a closet for the new bedroom. The bedroom was long enough it extended to the end of the existing house along the road and ran along Daisy's bedroom wall. Jess managed the operation and funded it and an all new bedroom furniture suite delivered from Cheyenne including a real full sized bed all paid for out of his oil well proceeds. He hadn't quite gotten the indoor plumbing with hot water and a shower spicket figured out, but had been doodling on paper with Sarabeth's help how to build a well water tower and running water in the indoor bathroom aiming for a hot shower, but his plans got put on hold.

On the third week of the honeymoon Jess came down with a horrible case of the flu and he couldn't shake it. He'd get up before dawn running to the old original outhouse and throw up his gizzards and lizards and he was a mess. He couldn't hold down food, even the aroma of apple pie made him queasy and he was one sad and snapping puppy being separated from pie. At first Daisy wasn't concerned because of all the business of the recent months plus the partying and food of the previous two weeks. But then he began losing weight.

After a two week stay at home collecting all her late arriving college shipment sorting through what was broken and what was no longer useful Sarabeth had arrived as planned at the Sherman Ranch three days before the newlyweds got home and she was set up in Josie's old bed in Daisy's room. She arrived in a short wagon with a small amount of her belongings from college and Jess was covered in sawdust and sweat, with nails he was holding in his teeth. It gave Sarabeth yet another image of this cowboy, first as a guest, then injured, then all decked out for a wedding. Now he was covered in dirt, sawdust, sweat and up to his ears in construction. Two days later he was living in the outhouse. She couldn't figure out why he was sick either and was worried because he began dropping weight fast and his clothes were hanging off him. So her beginning discovery of his lifestyle was warm and all but a tad bit messy. Jess tried to be nice but didn't want her getting close for fear she'd get infected with his deesease, whatever it was, or dirty with construction. Daisy and Sarabeth learned there were reasons for Jess' constant appetite and no weight gain. He was one of those people who needed to eat just to maintain any weight, much to their jealousy. Somehow the new construction was finished on time, the new furniture arrived as scheduled and the delivery people even set it up. Jess, of course, was supervising underfoot when he wasn't in the outhouse suffering dry heaves.

When Slim and Josie drove up all smiles and happy loaded down with gifts, everyone else beat Jess to the buckboard excited to see the newlyweds arrive home. Jess got to the front door and then he had to reverse turn and run out the back to the outhouse which he had been being teased was his "new office." They welcomed the new couple home who began asking where Jess was and they told them he was working in his new office. Josie was the one who wasn't laughing and she hopped down headed for the lu when Jess came out ashen white, holding onto and shifting his loose clothing pulling his belt up one more notch. He took one look at Josie's concerned face and it dawned on him what the problem was. Or he thought he knew the answer.

"Jess! You look awful. What's wrong?" She rushed up to him in concerned compassion and tried to touch his face but he pushed her hands aside.

"There's the new bride! You look all kinds of happy." Then he quickly diverted. "How are you feeling?" He ducked to get a good look into her eyes and face trying to read her to see if she was queasy actually hoping his was empathy of her being exhausted and off her feed and not real sickness. She was standing face to face with Jess like they had talked near the boulder about her distress with the first husband's disappointing performance and she forgot others were overhearing them now. Jess' mouth began to screw together as she launched into her details but she just kept beaming…. and talking fast making it difficult to interrupt.

"I'm great, Jess! I've just had the best 3 weeks of my entire life in the arms of the man of my dreams. He is such a hunk and the epitome of a perfect male. And it's like we can read each other's thoughts and don't even have to talk. OOOH!" She squeezed herself in a hug. As she talked she finally had to catch herself from saying too much revealing personal news and behind her Slim blushed and almost came off the wagon to cover her mouth. "I could just lay in his bo… well… I mean hold his… um…HIM" she blinked and blushed, "….never leave his arms. And he's SUCH a gentle man…. So BIG and … he knows what to do and is so careful with m… and.. shows me what to ….I um ..mean he's so patient with me…. and.."

Slim had one foot on the side of the buckboard ready to jump off and grab Josie, his face was fully blushed and Jess quickly put his hand over her mouth with an exasperated expression on his face. She had a surprised look on her face and pulled his hand down matching his exasperation. Slim brought his foot back down and he and Jess exchanged glances….Slim's of relief and he reached for more luggage.

"Well!" she just threw her hands down to her sides, "We were just meant for each other, Jess! This is NOTHING like what the ladies in Denver told me marriage would be. And I feel like I've been eating for weeks!" She finally just blurted out and swirled in a circle… "I've never felt so whole and healthy my whole life!"

Jess frowned imperceptivity for the briefest second and sagged. Her answers shot down his theory he was empathizing something from her and HE was embarrassed for Slim by her blatant lack of tact. She reached again for his forehead to check for a fever and he brushed her hand away again.

"Better not touch me, I may be contagious….don't want you catching what I got." He retorted and ducked her hand then pushed past her to help Slim at the new buckboard.

"Another buckboard, Pard? I thought the stage was taking you around the world." He hitched his waist belt higher so his britches wouldn't fall past the non-existent hips and carefully reached for an armload of packages and luggage. He was in his old clothes to work in whilst saving his new tailored clothing for better occasions when he wasn't filthy or pitching up his innards. Slim loaded Mike and gave the ladies light weight packages then grabbed some heavier luggage. They were all quite loaded but between all of them they emptied the buckboard in one trip and headed for the house.

"It's a heavy axle wagon and I got a deal on it. We can use this one for heavy fencing, feed and such and it will pull lots better in winter snows. I don't know, your new buckboard and the buggy, we may have to build a storage barn for all these vehicles we're collecting. We got about half way through but we ran out of room on the stages. Your twin there is quite a hunter. She can find bargains anywhere and I have to admit some of the nicest things, clothes, house stuff, and gifts. And she can make a dollar squeal…oh, and haggle!? We'll take her with us when we go buy stock. Has the men eating out of her hand. Just look at this pair of mares, Jess. Got them up north and they're from the original Morgan line back east. They even have papers, too! Josie's got ideas of breeding them with Bolero's line and the guy we bought these from has a large herd. If I'da had a way of herding them down here, we'd have picked out a few more. They're fine animals, Jess, I'm impressed."

"Fine." Jess grumped. He wondered just who was eating out of Josie's hands, how much of the returned estate money they had left but it wasn't his concern any longer. It was Slim's and he was glad. Josie was to the Morgan breed as the cowboy was to the Quarter Horse and it was obvious Slim had gotten indoctrinated with the whole sales pitch during their honeymoon.

"What's wrong with you? Daisy says you been sick." They were all walking in a line into the house with Jess and then Slim at the rear.

"Just picked up a bug's all. We got your new master bedroom done all ready for you. Laid it out sorta like the house can change into a bunk house when the new log house is finished over there…" he waved behind him blindly into the valley, "….you know with 3 separated bedroom areas for bunks. Foreman can have the bunkhouse on the barn for his self or take the master. 'At way they can put the snorers into one room and the rest of us can get some sleep, or put the snorers in the barn bunkhouse. They can put a long table in the living room for feeding a crew, you know with side chairs along the walls."

"Now, don't start on my snoring again, Jess. It's not that bad, is it Josie?"

"Snore? We didn't sleep, how would I know?" She giggled into Sarabeth's shoulder whispering something into her ear as they walked and Sarabeth blushed.

Jess saw them and shook his head grumbling under his breath about their private marriage information coming from his sister out loud, "Oh, dadgum… gunna hafta have another chat with her."

Jess was dragging and Slim had given him some heavy pieces so he fell behind the parade. Since Slim was behind Jess, he fell back further, too, did a couple of stutter steps but shortened his stride to keep from running up on Jess' heels. It put him shoulder to shoulder though.

"Jr was right, Jess. This married thing is really pretty nice….especially seeing her in the morning light. Really love that part, all messy hair and all. I know she's your twin but that Josie is a catch. Quite a woman." He bumped Jess on the arm with a piece of luggage. "I'm surprised your empathy isn't in a better mood. She seems to enjoy the…well…you know… married um….part….can't seem to get enough actually. Says it's all thanks to you for some conversation you had with her."

Jess' face reached new heights of contortion not wanting to hear about his twin's marriage details or her sex life for that matter…even from Slim. If his hands had been free he'd have covered his ears with them. They reached the living room and Daisy walked up to see if they needed help. Jess hadn't seen her arrive and it startled him and he fidgeted further thinking she'd overheard Slim's marriage comments until Daisy changed the subject.

"He was doing really well the first two weeks, Slim. Just this last week he's been poorly. Even turned down apple pie." Daisy offered coming back from the kitchen. She had missed parts of the conversation and Jess let out a sigh of relief.

Josie and Sarabeth were sorting packages as to which ones went in which room and which were for the other house.

"Oh you do have it bad, Jess. No pie? We need to haul you off to the doc." Slim was both concerned and teasing.

"Where you want the buckboard and the mares?" Jess still didn't want to talk about himself or his sister's …. or Slim's attributes. He put his arm loads down abruptly with a 'don't mess with me' look on his face. With his ribs hurting from heavin' he was in no mood for jokes or wrestling off a doc.

"I'd like to get the buckboard out of the weather in the barn if there's room or under the lean to. Like to put a weather coating on it before it gets parked outside. The mares go inside. Oh, the um guy we bought them from says they're in foal to another Morgan, due to drop end of next January…so treat them nice, Jess."

Daisy, Sarabeth and Josie were standing together near the stove where Daisy had supper started while Slim watched a depressed Jess leave through the front door grumbling. With the mention of oncoming baby horses, a light bulb went off in Daisy's brain and she looked Josie up and down.

"You don't suppose….?"

"What, Daisy?" Josie was tasting the food that was simmering. "I'm starved."

"That Jess' empathy is affecting his flu?"

"Hmmm, that's good, Daisy." She caught Daisy looking at her and blushed. "Oh, I don't think so, Daisy. I feel wonderful. 'Sides my…I timed the honeymoon so that other wouldn't be a factor in our festivities and it's not due until next week. And since Jess' blood straightened me out I've never been early OR late even one day! Maybe I got a chunk of his hormone health, too, he's such a hunk…." She blew on the spoon full she was aiming to taste test next and then slurped it while pointing with her other hand toward where Jess had disappeared. "….he's gunna make gorgeous kids someday."

"Poor Jess." Daisy mumbled. Her longer experience with hormonal cycles instantly calculated the weeks.

Rubbing tender stomach muscles from the dry heaves Jess refused to come inside for supper, a celebratory welcome home dinner. He'd gotten a whiff when unloading the wagon and knew the aromas would only send him back to the outhouse for more hurt. Slim and Josie offered to do the dishes so Daisy slipped outside to the barn where Jess was moping around Traveler.

"How are you doing, Jess." She asked over Traveler's back as Jess was brushing the other side for the umpteenth time. Traveler had a good high polish going on both sides but he was enjoying a good scratch because while Jess' brushing was vigorous, his pressure was always just right, he stayed with the direction of hair growth and he knew all the rights spots to linger over causing the poor gelding's lip to quiver.

"Same. Have a good dinner?" Was the deep, hoarse reply.

"Yes, but everyone missed you. Slim and Josie are doing the dishes and Sarabeth is reading another story to Mike. He just loves the way she reads a story out loud. Jess?"

"Ya." It was a half-hearted sad sound.

Daisy's heart went out to the poor dejected cowboy.

"Were you around anybody who had the flu during the wedding?"

"No."

"Is it the skippy trots or ralphing?"

That got a small smile from Jess and a brief look over Traveler's back. He'd never heard it put quite that way before.

"Not sure what you mean, Daisy, but I think it's ralphing. Queasy stomach, my nose is all out of whack…can't even smell this barn…well, smell it but it's not the same you know. Apples don't smell like apples….just no smell at all. The other end is fine, just not busy 'cause nothing is staying down. Never felt like this before. Why?"

"The flu generally comes through the air or contact with an infected person, has a fever or chills, and doesn't last a week…especially in someone healthy and fit like you and with all those white blood cells you seem to generate. You never had the fever, so I think we can rule that out by now."

Jess looked sheepish and more worried. "Oh fine! If it ain't the flu then what's wrong with me? Catched a major deesease, gunna die?" He grumbled per each down stroke.

"Well not right away, let's hope. I think I know what's bothering you. You ever been around any pregnant women?"

"Well, no….can't say that's my normal …. I mean, well, my ma when I was younger."

"How old were you last time she was pregnant and what do you remember?"

"Would've been about 14. But she was always happy, good appetite…when we had food. Sure, she lost 2 after Francie and Amy was born sickly, but she wasn't …um...ralphing."

"Well some women don't get sick, some only on their first child. See a woman's hormones change when she becomes pregnant, Jess. The ralphing comes while the body is shuffling the hormones around setting up the womb to carry the baby and feed it while it grows. It doesn't come from eating disagreeable food. It's just the food and the hormones collide and the food loses because the hormones are more important for the baby. Once the hormones are ready to go, the ralphing stops and often she becomes ravenous for the food as the baby starts calling for nourishment so it can grow."

"Is that right. Never knew that." His voice was monotone, almost uncaring and he was bent over head down working under Traveler's belly. But that put too much stress on sore stomach muscles so he came back up and heaved in a gasp of air then asked, "Who's having a baby?" The ever short fuse couldn't wait for where Daisy was headed or long involved conversation with a petticoat over embarrassing petticoat matters.

"Well, a few well-placed questions, Jess, I think it's quite possible Josie is and since we've eliminated the flu it's quite possible what you're feeling is your twin empathy. You just don't know it because you're not a woman and don't know the things women feel inside their body."

Jess did a strong down stroke while leaning on Traveler's bum with his other arm and stopped with a disgruntled expression pointing the end of the brush at Daisy.

"That's a dadgum good thing! You petticoats have some pretty peeculiar things go on." He almost glared at Daisy in emphasis. Then depressed, "Ya, I thought that this afternoon,.." he tapped the brush on the stall wall and then picked out a weed from the bristles, "…. then she says she's never felt better and she's obviously eating." He waved toward the house with the brush and started brushing again. " 'Sides, they been too busy shoppin' and just got married. You saw all that stuff on the wagon and I found even more outside stuff, tools and such still under the bench!" Then under his breath, "Dadgum brand new harnesses, too.! Matching saddle blankets…Pete's sake."

Daisy could tell Jess never had "the talk" with his mother. The longer she talked Jess paused in the brushing and watched Daisy maybe she had something in answers. She certainly knew more about women's medical parts than he did and he had been too embarrassed to ask of his ma. Never occurred to him to figure out the functions of a woman's body. He was just happy admiring the outside visible parts and fascinated by their personalities and peculiarities being different than the way a man sees the world.

"It just takes one time those few days a month when the woman's body is fertile."

"Like a mare?" Jess asked.

Daisy was clueless. "Well, I suppose so. I'm a city girl, Jess, so I'm not familiar with horses. What do they do?" Daisy didn't much care what horses do, she was simply trying to get Jess to talk on a delicate topic and not go off on her.

"Mare comes in fertile once about every 25/30 days and only 4 or 5 days she will take a stud during a cycle. 'At's when she, you know…. If she does take, her cycles stop until after the foal's born. Dadgum horse takes 11 months to make a foal…'ats nearly a year…" he did another brush stroke, "… poor thing." Then he picked at the brush again.

"Then yes, that's almost exactly as humans, Jess, and you can do other things on a honeymoon and still get that done, too. It's very common for a woman who's become pregnant to feel on top of the world because her body is busy doing what it was created to do. Her mind just doesn't know it until she misses her… um.."

Daisy stopped suddenly and diverted her eye contact briefly not sure Jess even knew about that and she was sticking her head out even further on this topic.

"The blood thing?" Traveler reached around and bumped Jess' bum with his muzzle not ready to quit the brushing thing yet.

"Right. You know about that?"

Jess looked back at Traveler and started back up with the brush and Traveler's lip began quivering again.

"My ma was sickly her um…last years…. Lost two babies after Francie and nobody else was around to help with the laundry but me. Then the baby came. Lasted a couple days each month. You mean that one?"

"Yes." Daisy nodded somewhat amused at Jess' analytical tone as a man apparently quite clueless about the emotional part of womanhood and hormonal cycles. She had more than expected him to get upset talking about women things and disappear somewhere else on the ranch.

"I thought it was because she had become so sickly they came that often…she was losing weight somethin' awful."

"I see. Well then I'm sure she really appreciated your help." Daisy was stunned at Jess' obvious awareness of things at that level of experience with a mother but something he guarded fiercely with privacy. "If a woman does not conceive on those few fertile days, Jess, she'll bleed like that as a normal, healthy thing every month. It's the womb preparing for another chance to make a baby."

Jess stopped brushing again and looked at Daisy with an odd dazed and glassy look for quite a few moments in abject silence. While he'd helped his mother with the laundry and other physical stuff she couldn't do, she'd never explained the details about women's body things and why. Quite frankly, between his ages 7 through 15 he didn't really pay attention to much more than anything he could do to help her then trying to avoid the abuse in his family's set up and the state of hunger he'd lived in. Francie had been the only other female in his family and she'd been sent to visit his ma's cousins in east Texas quite often once she'd reached 11 years old and had begun to develop some shape, so she was gone most of the time. Helping his mother as a teen he had been surprised the "blood thing" repeated that often believing it was because his ma was becoming sickly losing babies and such, but was more shocked now to find out it was normal and not because she had become sickly.

"You mean you put up with that every month!?" His voice was half an octave higher in incredulousness and matched the eyebrows which peaked.

Daisy smiled inside but managed to keep her mouth to a tiny grin, "It's not a choice, Jess. If the "blood thing" does not happen, chances are she's conceived a child and one of the very first symptoms of conceiving is nausea they call morning sickness. That would be more like what you're experiencing."

"Dadgum!" His eyes were still glassed over. Maybe he'd sensed his nausea was empathy with Josie but for the wrong reason of her having the flu or a bad meal. It hadn't occurred to him she might be ….. "Already!?" His voice cracked again.

Daisy thought Jess was in embarrassment overload and decided now wasn't the time for a medical education. "Don't worry, Jess, we should know by sometime next week."

"A whole week?" He nearly screeched. "For what?"

"Before Josie can find out if she's conceived."

"You mean I hafta ….another week of this?" He was suddenly desperate looking in disbelief over Traveler to see if Daisy's face was being truthful. His eyebrows were furrowed in an arch and even in the darkened lamp lit barn she could see both sad and desperation in the light reflection in his eyes.

"Be a week before her mind knows by confirmation. After that some women have morning sickness for the first 3 months, Jess." Daisy continued in her teacher voice.

His jaw dropped and his face could have fallen off his skull in shock and not in anger. In wholly felt dejected anguish he threw the brush down on the barn floor, turned and sat down hard on a wooden box protruding from under the feed trough. His chin curled upward quivering as he looked into the floor at Traveler's hooves leaning his temples on his hands held up by his elbows on his knees shaking his head side to side in despair. He looked like he wished for a hole to crawl into and hide. Suddenly this twin empathy wasn't so funny. Under his breath he began mumbling,

"DADGUM! Three more months….no pie…or food. Can't even stand the smell of beer!"

He shook his head side to side and Daisy walked around Traveler and squatted down in front of his knees. She took his forearms in her hands and tried to get his eye contact and he briefly looked up and back down. It was rather dark in the barn but Daisy could have sworn he was fighting tears and as much as she'd seen him enjoy eeating, it wasn't a surprise.

"Can't live without pie….no peach jelly?" He was mumbling. "Already took in my belt… THREE whole month…clothes will fall off."

"Jess."

"Ya." It was a mere grumble and Traveler nibbled at Jess' hair seemingly in compassion.

"I know how to deal with morning sickness."

He lifted his head slowly looking with the tiniest glimmer of hope in his face. "You do? It can be fixed?"

"Well, I do know how in women. We can try the same see if it works for you. After all, you are in a man's body and that should take precedence over a twin's hormonal empathy. There's nothing physically wrong with your hormones. Willing to try?"

"I'd do anything, Daisy, for a piece of pie. Anything you say!" He was looking up through his arched eyebrows and the ever hanging hair curl that looked so much like a horse's forelock. His chin came up ever so slightly and quivered lightly.

In compassion for a male always with a healthy appetite who'd been without food for a week Daisy had to smother a smile at the abject look of hope in Jess' face.

"Is there anything you can get past your nose and that doesn't start a rodeo in your tummy?"

He thought for a moment while rubbing his left index finger thoughtfully across his chin unconsciously.

"Well, your biscuits still smell good. Hot bread right from the oven."

"Ok, I'll make some biscuits and pudding always worked but I'll modify the apple pie to applesauce and fix some apple flavored rice pudding. Wish I had some ginger so I could make you some tea. Ginger tea always helps a queasy. Maybe more biscuits and gravy for breakfast. I'll hard cook the eggs, those are easier to get down than sunny side up…maybe some bacon. Think you can try that for a start?"

"Ya, that might work. Dadgum, Daisy, I'll try anything!" A small twinkle of hope continued growing as his dark eyes began returning to blue.

"Ok, but let's keep this little talk just between us for now, ok? Josie doesn't know yet." Daisy put her index finger up to her lips. "It'll be our little secret." She adjured.

"OH!" He straightened up waving his hands side to side and then zipped his lips. "Absolutely, Daisy, promise! Won't tell a soul." He was shaking his head 'no' – nothing, even torture or a beating could drag this conversation out of his mouth. Was bad enough feeling odd things in his body that could only be women things, he sure as heck wasn't gunna talk to anyone about it. Word would get out and men friends would never let up…. and he'd be in more hand fights than…. Well, let's just say his stomach muscles were too sore from dry heaving to take rib busting.

"You come on inside when you get your horse all tucked in. I'll have it ready."

"Yes, Ma'am." He held her elbows while she stood back up, then plucked the brush out of the straw and finished Traveler's bum … quickly.

True enough, the rice pudding went down much better with apple pie filling smashed with a fork and hidden inside alternated with peach flavored pudding. Plus she fixed hot biscuits with butter and peach preserves to hold it all down and they just started with small portions and graduated to hard cooked eggs, crisp bacon the next morning. Her aim was basically to "prime the pump" getting his stomach to accept any food by using protein and very small servings. Next she started a small buffet corner of snacks he could come snack from through the day in lieu of full meals. He was able to hold the smaller portions down and slowly over the next week Jess' appetite picked up, he was able to increase his portions, his nose began to function normally and everyone thought he was over the flu. That is until Josie came back from town a little more than a week later after a visit with the doctor confirmed the overdue…um 'blood thing.' Jess' ralphing completely stopped like someone pushing the handle down on the well pump and he put the weight back on in about 2 days after eating everything in sight now confirmed he wasn't sick with a major deesease and it had been his empathy. Somehow just having medical confirmation seemed to shut down on his queasy. Everyone then figured out that Jess' "flu" was the twin empathy and they teased him unmercifully for not telling them he knew she was pregnant before she even knew. Jess didn't mind so much by then because he was going to become an uncle and Slim was going to be a daddy. Jess' appetite and portion consumption immediately returned to normal and the two men celebrated with 18 ounce steaks grilled rare over the forge. Sarabeth showed them how to bake potatoes in the coals then double baked in the oven with cheese. Daisy made some soured cream and horseradish from a recipe and roots Sarabeth had brought with her and everyone celebrated and they had a household baby announcement party. Jess' stomach was mildly sore from being over filled but he could tell that difference from the queasy so it didn't bother him. Everyone was thrilled except Josie who discovered "Jess' office." Smugly while swallowing a chuckle and a gleam in his eyes Jess took the homemade sign somebody had erected over the outhouse and modified the name from "Jess" to "Jose" then rehung it.

Josie's morning sickness started the next day and hers continued for the full three months. She wasn't sure she was so happy but Slim's boots didn't touch the ground for a full 3 weeks excited over the whole idea. He strutted around for a whole week as though he'd won a shooting contest with all bull's eyes and no misses and Jess was teasing him about trying to plug his head through the door anymore. Jess became Josie's nurse in complete compassion for what she was going through and his solid calmness and perfectly timed artful teasing seemed the only thing that stabilized her days. She was thrilled becoming pregnant, it was the morning sickness and stench of food that dismayed her new status. Throwing up constantly and the thought Slim would fall out of love with her because she was going to gain weight worked hard on her. But Slim was sensitive and started bringing her impromptu (scraggly) wild flower bouquets from weeds which she giggled and sneezed over, and he brought little gifts from the general store in town. They had a long talk explaining that to a husband, his wife's pregnant body is the most beautiful sight in the world and Slim was so cute explaining that that she believed he was being truthful and not just making it up to make her feel better. And she seemed much better after that. Well, more reassured anyway. It didn't hurt none either that her own magnificent 'wonders of the universe' quite outstanding in their own normal times began growing even more which bolstered her self-esteem to new heights. (sorry). Jess and Josie did have to back up some on their twin-hugs at Josie's request due to tenderness, and Jess was understanding but even more, just gratefully relieved that new tenderness aspect of their twin empathy was not bothering him.

Sarabeth was on Josie's other elbow in assistance and watching Jess attend his rocky twin only endeared him to her heart that much deeper. She was completely amused watching Jess' anticipation and delight, near giddiness with becoming an uncle even before the arrival happened. All the while she was taking notes in her head as to the personality, the natural charm he had with everyone close to him, despite the false accusations over his work ethics. She also saw several examples of the short fuse of the man who'd captured her attention over the holidays and they set her back on her heels with arched eyebrows until Slim pulled him down out of the rafters and he calmed down. Both her parents on separate occasions had delicately fore-advised her that Jess' pa had a horrible temper and she knew from having to separate her brothers a few times that men can go off with little to no fuse. She began to realize that behind the pretty gift wrapping of a handsome cowboy there was intelligence, thoughtfulness, and tender emotions as in every living soul and at least he was honest about his temper and let out things that rankled him not holding things in and ignore it. And she saw despite accusations of being lazy he seemed to be the first one getting dirty and sweaty to get the job finished and didn't mind getting so dirty as long as he could get to even the cold, outdoor shower. The number of pieces in the laundry that belonged to him that she helped Daisy do was a tribute to his true work ethic. She also began to see the evidence of deep scars from his past which he kept close to his vest and it seemed to connect with that very short fuse to a temper.

In preparation for his anticipated niece and or nephew Jess took Sarabeth on a "shopping date" where he took her to her favorite yarn and fabric store in Cheyenne and bought her a ton of various colors and textures of yarn balls and knitting needles of every size. He added a larger basket to work from replacing the one his knee had annihilated and then up the window side of the fireplace he built in wooden shelving to line up all the colors of yarn so he could see them. She picked out some of the colors but he insisted on her making one baby item of her choice each for a boy and for a girl. Although nobody could get it out of him, Sarabeth suspected Jess' empathy was picking up on a twin pregnancy.

In the quieter evenings while Sarabeth would knit nestled into Jess' lap and chest where he'd make stitch or color suggestions, he would settle into reading Josie's step mother's diary to better understand the background she was reared. When she asked him why bother, he replied wanting to find out the child rearing principles she was raised under in the debutant society of Denver in case there was something Slim might be challenged on once the babies actually put feet on the grou… er…came out of the chute. He'd noticed, as Slim had back before Josie took her field trip in the wide open, that she had a penchant for expecting things be given to her, and not so much earning or making them herself. Slim was of the upbringing to build everything he or his family needed generally from little else than toothpicks. Other than the land, Jess had looked but found while they owned a ranch, a house and barn, the Sherman's seemed to own very little but bare necessities. Most of them were well, very well weathered. It ended up being a conversation over several days and nights between Jess and Sarabeth, sometimes over heard by Slim and Josie and included the comments Maggie had made about Kensie being given everything she wanted and still not satisfied with what she owned. While Jess never brought up the fact that Sarabeth herself also had been brought up in privilege, it was something that nagged at him because he came from less than what even the Sherman's owned and that affects the decisions parents make regarding how children are raised. This summer at the Sherman's was really the first time Sarabeth was living in a less than posh lifestyle and while Jess was happy with what he was seeing in her, it was still a potential future issue. AND while Sarabeth never brought up the topic either, she was discovering a completely different way of life without the luxuries of her birth home and she was seeing Jess in a different light as being a person not dominated by owning things. It was easy and quick to notice at the Sherman homestead that Jess not only didn't own much more than what he could carry on his back and his horse, he didn't seem bothered about it. His priorities were sustaining life and fighting for what was right. That fascinated her. It was becoming a daily revelation in how the ownership of "things" affects the expectations of a person's lifestyle of choice in adulthood and she'd never even stopped to consider that would have an effect on her lifestyle and choices or anyone she'd marry.

At 4 months along, the morning sickness instantly stopped and Josie took up a craving for pickles of any variety and raw apples, the greener the better, that is when she wasn't eating the pantry empty. Jess' mere addiction to apple pie kicked into a craving at the same time and it became a competition between Josie eating the raw apple supply off the trees and Jess cabbaging into his sister's hidden stash so Daisy could keep him filled with pie. Daisy gave up hiding any form of apple pie as useless and wasted effort until Jess' craving settled down. He'd come with a shirt tail load or bandana full of apples stolen from Josie's hidden stash she kept moving that he invariably found. Daisy'd see him coming and just grab a bowl for him to put them in and then go straight to making the crust while he peeled the apples for her. She got to the point of teaching Sarabeth how to make her recipe and when Jess came in with his shirt tail loaded, she'd look at Sarabeth who'd then grab the bowl to start the crust. It was Daisy's way of playing cupid between Jess and Sarabeth. Jess' craving only seemed to sharpen his nose's ability to sniff out hidden apple stashes and became an amusement between Daisy and Sarabeth and Daisy began understanding Slim's enjoyment over Jess' "hound nose." One day Jess disappeared for most of a whole day in the buckboard and came back in the evening with bushels of apples and peaches from the orchard behind the restaurant they'd eaten at while discussing the barn. He'd bought them and Daisy taught Josie and Sarabeth how to can and put them up into preserves which could be used as pie filling. The same orchard also produced pickling cucumbers and he brought back a bushel of those, too. The second trip to the orchard became a day trip and after a neighbor came over to catch the stages, everyone went and had a blast. Jess made Daisy begin to save the peach and apple seeds and he started planting them near the lake. It worked, too. By fall there were little trees springing up all around the lake in a nice little orchard…. but by then they were moving.

Sarabeth taught Daisy how to grow herbs in glass canning jars, including horseradish, until she could get the men to build her a garden window and Daisy was thrilled. Sarabeth told her that's what her mother did before her window was built. Between the two of them, in the barn they found two support pieces and a window length board eight inches deep and they nailed it to the window sill over the kitchen sink and gradually grew the little garden into pots on the outside table just off the front kitchen door in the corner. They planted horseradish roots, chives, green onions, sage, rosemary and thyme. Josie couldn't smell anything so she passed on the herb project. Sarabeth's big forte was baking potatoes in a covered pot placed in a pit of hot coals or the fireplace, then chopping them all up when they were half done and adding soured cream or buttermilk, fresh butter, chopped chives and finish baking them in the oven in a casserole dish, skins and all. The men couldn't get enough and they'd even add some ground horseradish on the top to taste once it was served. Sarabeth had a girl cousin back in Boston she'd hung out with in college who would ship flavored coffee beans, plus a grinder and peanuts from which she made her version of the peanut butter stuff much to Jess' delight, and she shipped in other goodies and candies for Mike from "her sources" back in ol' college town. At Maggie's suggestion Sarabeth asked her cousin to send ginger tea to help Josie's nausea and that was a huge help.

Somehow, Josie didn't gain that much weight and everyone but Jess believed that was because she very active and was carrying only one baby….or all the green apples. During her second trimester Josie began to believe Jess about twins because of all the commotion inside her tummy. Around 4 months every evening after supper one side of her tummy constantly kept getting the hiccups which sent all 3 boys into wonder watching her enlarging stomach jerk rhythmically. Jess started a "baby hiccup betting pool" on how long each hiccup session, 2 minutes, 4 minutes, 10 minutes etc., would last using the newly minted 2 cent pieces for bets. He'd get the cent pieces from the bank and Mike would earn them doing chores and Jess would exchange whatever coins he and Slim had depending on who won that night. They ended up using a ledger Sarabeth developed and then paid up totals each Friday night and the cent pieces ended up starting a piggy back teaching Mike how to handle money. When the hiccups would start they'd line up at Josie's stomach and dance around her in "laps" cheering for their time duration, sometimes Jess would load Mike on his shoulders like a jockey, then toss him over to Slim and Mike would play like he was spurring and whipping them making short laps around the seated Josie. Watching their cheering antics would send Josie and Sarabeth into giggle fits which would either stop the hiccups, or prolong them. Between the non-pregnant participants Slim actually pulled ahead winning the most pools and his proceeds were dedicated to buying baby things for a nursery. Mike became very interested in the differences between the male and female bodies, hormones, how babies are made and his own changing body and Daisy won the short toothpick draw to be the one to give the birds and bees chat to the growing boy.

The doctor told them to plan for a March arrival which was a relief as it would be after the two Morgan mares dropped their foals in late January. They sat down as a group and had a meeting initially planning on moving to their new ranch by October after all the round ups, trail drives and branding sessions. They'd move with Scout and the two mares because that house was warmer, more sound proof to baby crying and closer to Denver hospitals for emergencies. Daisy was a little unsure of her future until everyone chimed in reassuring her of her required continuance which Slim finally shut down that part of the discussion. He put his foot down, pulled rank as the oldest male and told Daisy she had no choice but to join them at the new ranch or else. That put the question to rest. As a member of the family she was expected to move with them to help with the larger house, cooking and nanny assistance for a new mother learning the ropes of motherhood. The new barn was also more suitable for foaling in mid-winter plus the ranch already had a 'mare barn.'

Slim planned to set up the homestead Sherman Ranch cattle pasture and reduced stage traffic to be run by a couple "retired" stage drivers and two cowboys from his new ranch and he hired one person as a male cook and housekeeper for them. The cowboys would know how to monitor the pasture cattle and keep them fed over the winter while living at the original homestead and the laid off stage drivers would know how to switch teams and would live on the ranch. He and Jess would alternate visit trips back on regular intervals as winter weather permitted. Jess needed to keep a watch on the oil pumps and Slim overseeing the new arrangements in cattle production and the dwindling stage activities, overall snooping in and around town for railroad updates. So that became the plan.

With a budding degree in business and husbandry in the works, Andy was due back in Laramie after college the summer after the birth of Slim's new addition and he had a girlfriend. He had gone on long, extensive field trips during the summer breaks and was actually getting his fill of the "big open" and was dying of curiosity over all the big changes back home. They tabled building a log home in the Sherman valley, the hot water system and Daisy's herb garden until the railroad firmed up location and when Andy (and his girlfriend) could have a voice in the matter. The only piece of sadness the whole year was when they learned from Andy that Jonesy had passed away in mid-summer after Andy got back from his big east field trip. While Andy had taken his field trip back east to see the Capitol the week of Slim's wedding, Jonesy had suddenly eloped to a singer with whom he had been doing a show in St. Louis. But right after Andy had returned Jonesy began feeling poorly quickly and then died in his sleep very peacefully a month later and the widow moved back to her kin in Iowa. Andy had finally wrangled with Jonesy how old he actually was finding he was much older than everyone thought. He was 89 when he passed….and had outlived two previous wives in the days before he began to know Slim's dad. His first wife had died of a plague in their first year of marriage and his second wife died with the child in childbirth 5 years later. Right after that was when Jonesy had come to know Slim's pa who'd helped pull Jonesy out of depression by giving him a job on the ranch and giving him a place to belong as a 'family member.'

Prior to the move south to the new ranch there was the big annual trail drive which Chuck called on Jess to help ramrod because of Jr's divided attention with his new baby. Slim was left behind to handle the stage and ranch business setting up for handing things over and because Josie wouldn't let her baby daddy out of her sight. Slim didn't fight it much as he found new fascination watching his bride's eating habits and her body changing almost daily. He seemed even more enchanted with her blossoming body which helped her not feel so fat even though she only gained 20 pounds. She had to give up daily rides on Scout and returned him to harness on Jess' new buggy. Sarabeth wasn't happy seeing Jess disappear for an eternal 2 week drive but Jess reminded her of his lifestyle she'd have to live with and she hunkered down to knitting baby things and monitoring the oil activity so he didn't need to be worried.

When the main drive was over they had to reshuffle weanling stock from the DKBS out to Laramie to refill the pastures which required sorting and branding and took another 2 weeks with only one day where Jess was at the Laramie Ranch in between. Chuck even spent some of the days out with the cattle shuffle and getting his first glimpse of watching Jess handle a sort of the new crop of heifers and branding. Chuck was extremely pleased how Jess easily picked out the characteristics Chuck had been breeding into his brand sorting those to keep and ones to sell off. Jess and the hands were too pooped by the end of the day for poker or to do much else but nab a favored hot shower, eat supper and collapse in his guest bed. That room was quickly turning unofficially into "Jess' bedroom" at the DKBS as Chuck and Maggie "adopted" him…..and much to the delight of his 'nurse' Sasha.

So Sarabeth got a prime lesson in the haphazard lifestyle Jess had warned her about. She found a way to visit back home during the resorting and branding session as a breather from Laramie and gave her a chance to spend some quality mother-daughter time with Maggie. They made a few therapeutic shopping trips to Denver for new baby supplies and just for some old fashion shopping and lady pampering at a boutique. Over lunch at a "lady food" restaurant that served gourmet salads Maggie felt Sarabeth out for how her discoveries were going with Jess and life in the raw frontier. Sarabeth fought mistiness as she shared with Maggie how much more convinced she was that Jess and his life was her future and how much she was learning to respect the hard work and sweat sacrifice he put into the "dirty" work of actually getting things done, get it right and finish it. Life in the adult world was not playing with the horses or head work in a classroom, but how every person had to pitch in and find something they were able to do to help lighten the load for all and get things finished as a team. Sometimes that meant getting dirty, sweaty and muddy, too. She was more and more impressed by Jess' wisdom making her take the time to discover these aspects instead of graduating college and going straight into the dream world of wife and motherhood like Josie was doing. She could see him respecting her as a person to learn the view as getting her feet under her as an adult and then make her own decisions rather than simply diving into taking care of a husband and children as expected by society as Josie had been put through with the Denver society. Josie had spent a lot of time sharing some of her history which on the surface may have looked happy and wealthy, but how empty it left her believing that an adult female was simply someone owned by a man and told to do everything including how to breathe and just be happy making babies, cooking his meals and cleaning up after him. She reported that Jess spent some time reading Josie's step mother's diaries which he reported doing in order to learn about Josie's wealthy past, but by how he had been guiding Sarabeth, he already seemed to respect a woman enough to give her the freedom to learn and choose. She had many glowing remarks about Jess' horsemanship and easy way with people and how funny he had become making such a fuss over becoming an uncle and teasing Josie past her hormonal ups and downs. She was beginning to appreciate the lack of pressure to commit to her destination and just enjoy being adults together, to simply be together and not even need to talk or perform to a committed relationship's expectations such as wife or mother. She could just be herself apart from a school or parents or best friend and have her own expectations as a producing adult. She enjoyed being all packed together tightly in the little house and its coziness yet how everyone respected each other's privacy. She did miss the hot shower. The hot bath was ok, but the shower at home was even better, faster and more efficient. Maggie could easily see a stability and solidity settling in on her daughter's childhood fizz and flutter of girlhood dreams. Kenzie had always been a go and do and not think first or later and getting her to sit down and be able to express her mind about any concept was nearly impossible. It had begun to wear off onto Sarabeth and Maggie had become worried it would ruin her daughter's natural ease into a shallow busyness without regard to other's needs. To see Sarabeth settling down into her own personality and gathering from other people those characteristics she wanted, pleased Maggie. She could see Sarabeth was selecting the good qualities and learning for herself how to sort the good qualities she wanted to add to herself from the unpleasant ones. Later that evening when Maggie and Chuck got to bed he wanted to know what Maggie had learned. Maggie reported through happy tears that rather than hearing nothing but a daughter raving head over heels in love struck crush and drooling over a gorgeous man now in action, Sarabeth had reported almost to 100% how and what she was learning from the experience and how it was teaching her skills in decision making as an adult and just simply learning who she was as a person unto herself.

Jr and Bessy's second child was born 3 weeks early just barely in to a trail drive and new sort. Bessy had been put to complete bed rest just to finish the pregnancy that far. The baby was tiny and born deaf and they named her Kera after someone on Bessy's side of the family who had been born with a life challenge. Kera survived her birth only with the medical help of Dr. Tim's college specialist and it kept Jr and Bessy very busy with a 3 year old boy who was all cowboy yet protective of his new baby sister. Then they had to learn how to communicate and teach Kera and spent some effort trying to locate a teacher. So with trying to keep up with his own cattle ranch Jr was preoccupied for most of the year and very busy and Jess stepped right in backing him up with Chuck's cattle work. Jr decided he loved being a Daddy so much he seemed to lose motivation for the cattle industry and had a chat with Chuck deciding to stay pretty much in the foreman role and not so much interested in pushing Chuck into the retirement pasture. As soon as Kera was a year and half old, they planned to work on #3 and wanted at least 5 before they were finished.

During the time at Laramie, aside from the baby booming business, getting the pastures set up and operating, and a second oil well that gushed ½ mile from the first one and getting that pump established, it was a quiet year for Jess and Sarabeth, more or less if you can call that quiet. But it was a learning experience as they discovered each other. They seemed to just naturally slip right in harness together again as though they'd never parted after New Year's. Jess was concerned over possible vandalism at the pumps and Sarabeth suggested putting a strong pipe fence set up in a small pen immediately around the pump and road with a locked metal gate, then fencing in enough pasture pen space around each pump to hold a bull or two each. The bulls would be visible to each pump and any vandal would have to cross the bull's feeding area to get to the pump's corral. Or they could put several bachelor bulls who were in their "hold year" from breeding or for sale according to her dad's schedule thus making them more rankous and fearsome as watch dogs. Chuck's designed cattle breed had steers that were muscled and had nasty looking horns. Jess liked the idea and implemented it making a special point to compliment Sarabeth on devising an answer using her knowledge of cattle ranching and coming up with an answer on a new business area of concern.

While he was away on the trail drive she also surprised him and on her own initiative set up the bookkeeping records for his "lizard" oil business in a ledger. She bought and had delivered a small roll top desk to be put in Jess' bedroom he shared with Mike just off the front door. She'd asked Slim to put the desk next to the head of Jess' bed but on the other side from the doorway and as Slim did, she accidentally found her hair gift under his pillow. Slim teased her about training Jess to give her receipts and she said she'd work on him. She also bought a smaller fire proof safe like Chuck had and when things quieted down again Jess built a wooden box around it made out of roughhewn knotty tree trunk he'd found just off the first well making the safe look like a tree stump tall end table. His private stash of peach preserves found their new home on top the stump table. She ordered from the refinery an accounting of how much oil they removed and how much kerosene it produced and matched them to the deposits. She researched the ratio of raw crude to the production of kerosene through refining methods and re checked the refinery's reported results and payments. The Denver Post began showing up at the ranch regularly which had the current list of the oil and kerosene prices and she matched them to make sure Jess wasn't being shorted and kept up with the oil and refinery news reporting to Jess anything she thought was significant plus an all-around monthly recap of production, refined quantities and an expense accounting. Basically itemizing how much profit the wells were producing. The oil wells were not gushers but they consistently produced a modest profit which was automatically deposited in a bank account Chuck had Jess set up. Then Jess would pull the funds at a certain balance and transfer them to his new safe, also per Chuck's system. So she became Jess' bookkeeper and secretary to the oil business and the records were to keep track of Jess' incoming bank deposits from the refinery and the well's expenses or ranch expenditures he contributed to. He was extremely surprised there was that much record keeping and very delighted at her initiative and immediately put her officially in the records with the companies as his "Assistant." He moved her from an assumed access and gave her legal access to the records and then began paying her a salary for her efforts. Then he gave her bonuses when she'd initiate some further improvement or development to the oil effort such as the guard-dog bulls. She received a very generous bonus for that one. They were not get rich bonuses, his profits weren't that large. But they were significant to Sara both in thoughtfulness and finding she could actually earn money for her initiative and education. He told her he wanted to see her aim at becoming his business manager since she had the degree and she cried that he had found such importance to something she just naturally felt needed to be tracked. He even took her to the Laramie bank and opened a personal bank account in her name and then on his as a co-signer for her salary deposit. That shook her because she didn't know any women who had their own bank account and made him promise to teach her how to keep one. He admitted he didn't know either, so when she'd figured that out, then she could teach him. After that he took her to a fancy, smanchy restaurant in Cheyenne for a steak dinner. Jess monitored the oil sites, the pump readings and guard-bulls and their fences and she handled the books.

He was fascinated with her cursive writing and tidy bookwork and often they'd have an "official board meeting" which was a discussion in his bedroom as she explained the books, but he'd pay more attention to watching her write and penmanship. Within the week of her surprising Jess with his new desk and the books she set up, she found a gift wrapped box on the desk with her name on it and that evening before turning in she had a "business meeting" taking Jess by the hand to the desk and pointing to it "cluttering up her work zone." He sat sprawled on his bed and waved at her to open it. She did finding leather bound ruled diary books that were 8 1/2" x 11" per page and they were about 2" thick. There were 10 of them and he promised more when she filled these. There was also a new sealed ink bottle and a brand new fountain pen and she could help herself to share the desk with him. She hugged them in surprised delight as if he'd gifted her a diamond ring and enfolding her new gifts he pulled her to sit between his legs and explained he thought, like her mother she might be the "writer-type." He thought she'd enjoy capturing the adventures of her adult years and living in the wild frontier on paper and asked only if she wanted, he wished to read them. It was his intent to add her writing to Maggie's prose on his mother's years to be gifted to his children as a legacy of history. She was stunned and blubbered up and as Jess collected her into a hug she admitted always wanting to have a diary, but Kensie was always about the living and doing and not the recording of one's life so she'd forgotten that dream. She put the ink bottle on his side table and they cuddled in his bed, his cot really, while she hugged her books and new pen. Of course the door to the bedroom was left open and also because he shared the room with Mike.

Other off-duty time was spent on long horse or buggy rides around the property, the land between the Sherman valley ranch and the new ranch in helping scout out potential expansion, and just picnicking and talking stretched out on a blanket at the lake… or not talking and simply being together in the quiet peace tucked into the valley. Sarabeth had some early issues of restlessness pulling in her perimeter to the smaller, less affluent ranch in Laramie a little further away from the shopping and distractions of both Boston's college resources plus Denver which had been her destination for fun and excitement as she grew up. What she discovered was a lull of activity in her previous hectic and altogether planned out life where she was free to develop her own schedule and set her own goals. Everyone at the ranch seemed to expect that of an adult but she found a calming peace in the little valley without all the distractions and over the summer spent there it seemed to deepen and then settle in her new found self-confidence as she discovered who she was as a stand alone person. It was a different way of life than what she grew up in but everyone watched quietly as she made her discoveries and noticed even more confidence and glow come from her through the summer.

She was speechless on her first visit to the town of Laramie at its pathetic lack of anything, especially a bakery that was an empty, dirty building. Like her mother not the type to sit and do nothing and having a natural organizational talent, within weeks she had organized (volunteered) the church's ladies and as a group they had thoroughly cleaned the building then had weekly bake sales. The ladies would bring an extra pie or cake or canned foods every week to church and after church services they would put them in the bakery building and had two rotating volunteers per week stay at the store until everything sold out. With at least 24 women around the area, that meant a rotation of two on a schedule of every 12 weeks and the schedule was all done by pick of the draw. All the ladies agreed it was a volunteer schedule they liked. Normally everything sold out within the afternoon anyway, but it took hold over the summer and more food items came in during harvests and it took until Tuesday or Wednesday to sell out the canned goods. Their largest customer base were bachelor cowboys of course desperate for home cooked anything and they were paid a token rebate for each returned jar in useable condition. The way it was organized no one was over used. All the money from the sale was set up into a bank account from which an elected committee ordered school books and supplies. She also set up her 'second in command' to take over after she moved back home in the fall. Another side benefit was the church attendance went up because church never let out at the same time and the cowboys had to be there exactly when services ended in order to be in line to buy before everything sold out. But it was the ranch that captivated her more and she quickly felt drawn into a peacefulness and security in the little valley at what she renamed "the Sherman retreat."

Her relationship with Josie had become almost instant because of their letter writing before the wedding but more so because Josie was almost 5 years older than her, or Kensie. By personality reputedly to be close to her birth mother when Maggie and her mother had met back in the day, Josie was also more calm and stable than Kensie, well balanced and by her debutante rearing was a much more solid person than Kensie's fly by night haphazardness. Each became the sister they never had and the two grew so close they were like Slim and Jess, or Chuck and Elroy, or Maggie and Sarah Harper.

Over the summer Sarabeth settled into a solid pace within herself and her quiet dignity deepened as she seemed to find both peace and her confidence grew learning where she could fit in with her natural charisma and skills and add to the life. Slim and Josie noticed Jess become more peaceful and not so edgy and short fused as though he'd found an anchor steadying him. He'd still fire up and get into saloon fights but those were getting more infrequent and his knack for getting people to see things his way began to evolve off of just happen-chance poker fun and he got better with people which diffused a lot of the fights.

When he was home and not on a cattle or oil event, without surprise and the last thing Jess and Sarabeth did each night, no matter what had happened that day she would meet with Jess in front of the fireplace. It started out as a hair thing but within days she had Jess handing over to her open hand from his pockets any shred of paper he'd wadded up and stuffed into his pockets from any kind of business event be it oil supplies, fencing, or feed. Receipts for the ranch were later turned over to Slim while she kept the oil well receipts and recorded them. It was funny to watch him make a big deal out of searching his pockets and making faces either of surprise or feigned being bitten by a critter hidden in his pocket. She'd straighten them out ironing them with her hand against a flat surface and put them in an empty cigar box she'd found in town, cleaned and painted then planted on the fireplace mantle over his hidden gun. She had no clue the gun was there. Once the papers were tucked in the box which she dealt with the next day, he was rewarded with a smooch. Within two weeks of her set up of the books and desk for the oil business Slim saw Jess putting neatly folded papers in the box during the day and then that evening holding his hands up when he claimed he had none for the day. She frisked his pockets which he thoroughly enjoyed generally ending up fending off her attempts to tickle him. When she found none in his pockets but some were in the box, he insisted and got to receive two smooches from her. Never the one to be shorted his smooches, Jess was quickly becoming very inventive in his ways to find reasons for obtaining kisses from her without asking. Slim smiled wondering who was training whom.

After the receipts were dealt with she would sit backed up between Jess's knees and he would comb, brush and braid her hair and she would ribbon tie it. It didn't take long before Jess would come into the room anticipating the brush and comb event, he'd have just washed his hands and applied some liniment he'd use on Traveler's grooming and oil his hands before touching her hair so his hands weren't rough and tear her hair. His goal was to keep the once a month cutting event down or eliminate it altogether. Sarabeth began noticing and then offered him to use some of her treatment gel she used on the ends for him to have dispersed in his left hand alternating with the brush part and then as he braided the whole head full. He'd use the treatment as he worked the hair distributed it more evenly. Then on his own initiative he began rolling the three sections of hair before braiding which caused even more defined curls when she'd unbraid the next morning. It made it easier for her to tie or arrange them in her various half up hairdos each morning because the hair came out of the braid already curled. She was stunned by his development of that idea because it cut her hair-time in the morning in half not having to make curls and he was duly rewarded with multiple smooches. And being Jess, he enjoyed each one of his rewards. Becoming bored with the straight loose braid, on his own he discovered how to French braid and how to do an under weave braid. Sometimes Slim would catch Jess trying some variation of braids on Traveler's mane or tail while waiting on Slim to catch up during errands. The second Slim would come into view Jess would fluff the trial braid away like he was untangling a knot in his horse's mane or tail unwilling to admit he was trying something new. Her hair took on an even deeper glow and her added braid waves increased the curls and decorative twists she incorporated into each day's arrangements. Once or twice Slim even saw Jess wipe his hands off on his own hair when he finished her braid each night and a small container of the gel he'd absconded with showed up near Traveler's brush in the barn. The fragrance Maggie had built into the hair conditioner was from flowers and herbs but the aroma as mixed smelled like the ozone after a rain, so while Jess enjoyed the fragrance very much, it was not too girly for his own use. After the cigar box showed up, at the end of the hair braiding Jess wouldn't give the brush and comb back until she had given him a rewarding smooch. But they all somehow turned into "Jess-type smooches" which tended to embarrass Daisy. Josie would wink at Slim who would blush. All's fair in receipts and braids. Josie began eyeing Slim and hinting how wonderful it would be, especially with a growing belly, to have someone help her with her waist length dark brown hair. He knew it was a matter of time before he'd be volunteered and he hedged by not having an oil business for her to track receipts and then tried to capture Jess during his practices on Traveler so he could learn to braid without Josie knowing he didn't know how.

The first month Sarabeth brought the scissors out for the monthly 1" trim she handed the scissors to Jess and he balked and abruptly pulled his hands back as though the scissor was a snake, stood up and backed away from her. So she separated it into sections and brought them around to the front of her body and trimmed a neat once around her finger curl 1" length off the end that was truly thinner than the rest of the hair. Jess had stood up and backed off several steps and when the scissor cut the hair, he looked away out the open doorway and folded over in half as though someone had punched him low and his groan was barely audible. Sarabeth had looked over to check out the noise and saw him looking away with his finger across his lips maybe fighting tears, nobody could see his face. Since all trash was incinerated anyway, she normally threw the inch cut into the fireplace while it was in her fingers and thought nothing of doing so in Laramie. However the instant the inch hit the flame, Jess happened to look around thinking she was done, he saw the hair fall and sizzle, rolled his eyes, grabbed the front door sucking air in his teeth and ran outside without a word. She frowned at Slim and Josie who was sitting in Slim's lap on the other couch knitting and Josie quietly reminded her that Jess had seen his mother die on fire. Sarabeth remembered what Jess had told her about seeing his mother's hair and her beauty from the picture in the locket. She started weeping and ran after Jess her entire head of thick curly hair to her waist flying loose around her that he'd just spent a half hour grooming. She found him in the moonlight at the corral stroking Traveler's muzzle. Slim and Josie got up and watched arm in arm standing in the doorway seeing her pleadingly apologize in tears. They found out later that Jess and Sarabeth agreed that if she insisted on the need to cut her hair to keep it healthy and growing, to do it somewhere he was not watching and never throw the ends into a fire because burning hair had an aroma that from his past memories made him want to puke. She ended up crying in his chest under his chin and he drew her close. He hugged her with his nose buried in her hair nuzzling at her ear same as he'd learned from his hooved role models having never actually witnessed tenderness from a man to a woman in his birth home. Then they shared a very tender, long, lengthy, prolonged, extended, protracted and sustained; oh and warm, deep kiss where there was no… it was a long kiss. No moonlight was showing between them during the kiss before coming back inside with Jess' wet bandana in her fingers. I don't know exactly how long a kiss it was. I tried to give them some privacy and while my fact checkers would report stopwatches were invented in 1659, neither Jess nor Slim owned one. Back at the fireplace near the tools, she gathered all the thick wavy hair draped off her shoulders falling all around her like a fountain that flowed to her waist and with wide open blue eyes looking lovingly into his face, she offered him her gathered hair. He looked long into her eyes and his left ring finger tip brushed away a curl stuck on her cheek and he softly kissed her lips, but he still (it was just a peck this time) turned her around, took a really deep sniff of a handful of hair and slowly braided it back up savoring every second of contact with the silky strands of gold. He held the end for her while she lubricated the ends with her hair moisturizer and tied it off in the ribbon and then he kissed it. There were other romantic events, for both Slim and Jess, including Slim's wedding night but I have some readers who have complained at my lengthy stories and I have more story I have to get in this one. "!"

The dream Jess had been experiencing at the point it was revealed to him Josie was his twin as being in a watery container trying to lasso someone curled around him and hearing the baby girl giggling (See "The Inheritance"), came back during the summer months and began repeating itself in sections. He could never quite get the whole dream back in and still not seeing the end of the dream, but it began kicking his subconscious sleep and he began to believe one of Josie's twins was a girl.

Slim took up whittling toys with his Japanese pocket knife and Daisy became an expert at tatting. Mike's big summer achievement was growing 7 whole inches, all legs, and his voice began to drop surprising everyone except Slim. As Mike grew he began to fill out to the more Swedish body style that was tattled on by his blonde hair and blue eyes and he began to look more and more like he'd give Slim a run for his money on size. Sadly, by fall his growth spurt seemed over and he didn't grow another inch for a whole year.

CHAPTER 3: Moving On

The move onto the new ranch began early October after the trail drives and branding, before the hard winter and the babies arrived. Plans were finalized and set in motion for this next stage of reality where Slim's original homestead was designated to become the sub-headquarters of the Sherman Harper Enterprises, more of a business hub and retreat which included the continued relay station until the stage business fizzled out on the completion of the railroad. The stage schedule was already down to one a day and none on Sundays. It would include the management of the new "high 20" sectioned pasture land for the feeder cattle under Chuck's contracts where the cattle designated to be sold would be fattened before delivery and near the railheads for delivery. As such it would serve as the pre-staging area for distribution to railroad delivery to reduce cattle drives and loss of weight on the cattle. The railroad business was expected to replace the stage operation in about 18 months, outside at best 3 years. Its 4th purpose was to serve as a stop off location so Jess could keep track of Lizard oil wells and any developments in the oil/kerosene revenue, including any new wells that would gush without actually pushing into the oil business. The oil revenue was intended to be a salary area for Jess as well as a nest egg for any emergency or expansion funds.

During the cattle drives over the summer Jess discovered that at Slim and Josie's new ranch they had a 45 year old wrangler who had worked on Elroy's ranch since he was 15. This wrangler had extended family living in Laramie who included an aging mother needing more close medical care and she was refusing to leave the only world she'd ever known. The wrangler was a widower and the aging mother was basically raising her two grandchildren for him. When Jess told Slim about the man making almost daily trips to Laramie looking after his mom and kids Slim asked the wrangler if he'd like to stay employed but just move to the old Sherman homestead and supervise the sub-headquarters' business, at least until Andy moved back home. At that time he would move into a foreman position for that section of the ranch. That way he could be near his family and the homestead's businesses would be monitored. The wrangler was thrilled beyond words and volunteered four of his buddies as options to go with him and help work the Sherman station. Slim decided the four could pick themselves in alternates of two and rotate summers and winters until the herd size built up in Laramie. He also wanted to hire stage drivers who were becoming laid off and cross train them into cattle wranglers or as farriers for the pasture feeding and fence repairs. The new ranch was primarily a horse breeding and training business taking about 2/3rds of the business and 1/3 was a duplicate of Chuck's cattle business on a smaller scale.

Jess and Slim would alternate regular trips to the homestead to monitor developments until Andy returned from college with his new girlfriend as Andy had announced his intentions. At that point Andy would take over the Homestead's sub-headquarters' business. Andy was dying of curiosity as to all the new developments back home including his new sister in law, having Jess becoming a brother by law, Jess' twin as a sister, and the developing relationship for Jess with Sarabeth. He was also interested in the two new, huge ranches that Slim and Jess had become partners. His girlfriend was from Cheyenne and a long established cattle rancher in that area who was already a member of Chuck's cattle association. She was a year and half behind him in college and 3 years younger. It was anticipated that Andy would take over the homestead since that was his experience level and build his own log home at the time he married and branch out into his business interest areas from there. As an October update, he was still projected due back in Laramie the summer after Slim's firstborn arrived and that summer couldn't come soon enough.

Slim and family, Daisy and Mike would move to the new log home and it would become the headquarters for the Sherman/ Harper Enterprises. When housing options were being discussed on one afternoon Slim pulled Jess aside on a private fishing excursion for a long talk and they looked at each other for the longest in silence.

Jess threw his line into the river near the reeds just a little down river from where Slim threw his and they both leaned back against the log.

"'Is was a good idea, Hard Rock, take a sit and get away from the hustle. Gunna miss this fishin' hole. Hafta find another one on your new place." Jess eased his hat back some on his head whilst chewing on a toothpick. Slim's brows were furrowed and he didn't answer so Jess looked over at him. "You don't lighten up, Slim, the fish are gunna smell somethin' wrong and swim to the other side of the river." Slim still didn't answer so Jess sat up slightly and gave him a good looking over. "Ok, Pard….what's eating on ya?"

"I want you livin' in my house, Jess." Slim stared at the river, not Jess' face.

Jess pulled one side of his mouth up, "So this ain't about fish, eh?" A "dadgum" look crossed his face but he looked back to the end of his fishing line to watch for bobbing.

"You're part of my family now, Jess, even more than ever since Josie and I married. I want you under my roof and I brought you up here 'cause….you're not…. I've seen you try to move on before. Too many times. I smell it now. Daisy's got the housekeeper's room, Mike has one bedroom, the twins will be in the master bedroom until Mike goes off to school, so you'd have your own bedroom with a real bed."

This time Jess didn't say anything.

"I'm right, aren't I? I smelled it at the wedding. You're not planning on moving into our house." Slim prodded. "I'll hog tie you and jump up and down on your chest if I have to, Jess. I want you in my house."

Jess looked off into the distance trying to figure a way to deal with Slim's conundrum without hurting him.

"Talk to me, Jess. I think I've earned the right to hear what's inside you." Slim pushed.

"You're more brother to me than I could dream, Slim, a better business partner than I have a right to. With my life and history, there's no one in this world I can trust to have my back like you, Slim and I didn't make it easy for you to earn that. I'd draw my last breath to keep from hurting you and all you've done for me, pulling me off the wide open and giving me a place to belong. 'At's all I ever wanted growing up. I've found a twin sister I could only feel in my spirit and her and I are so connected inside there's no one else but you I could trust to care for her and give her that belonging, too. Her and you being together is more important to me than anything and sadly, that includes you and me being together…under one roof."

"Jess.." Slim was sure his next words would be the inevitable "but."

"Let me finish, Slim." Jess' fishing line bobbed and he monitored it but the fish moved on. "If things were reversed, she was your twin married to me, having babies, you'd probably understand this better. Makes it hard to 'xplain. Being a twin, now with this empathy on her carrying babies, I feel things not common to men. Not sexual things, but inside things like emotions and feelings. I know her inside almost better than I know myself. She's like Ma was, a natural ma, a nurturer…like Maggie. Your kids are so lucky. But being a twin, she doesn't know the line between babies and brothers and the minute she gets her hands on those babies, I'm sunk if I'm in your house. To her, I'm already someone she feels the need to nurture, take care of…right down to tryin' to dress me. You and her in tight contact – I feel her seeking you. You both need privacy for your marriage and for raising however many kids you get. You don't need her 30 year old son under foot. Quite frankly, Slim, I'm too old and too much a bachelor, I don't need someone believing I got diapers that need changing. Much as I love her, she has so much love to give I have to monitor and control her access because as a twin, she knows no fences when it comes to me."

Jess checked Slim's face and he was listening.

"I don't consider moving out of your house or sleepin' in someone else's as leaving your world or family. Josie needs and deserves to establish her own home with her husband, enjoy her marriage privileges and children without assuming the role of being caretaker of her older twin brother just because I ain't married. If Josie wasn't in your life or mine, I'd be moving in under your roof. But a woman's got life different than a man and she needs you more than she needs me and has made her decision for you. Hard to explain, but I have to love her more by getting out of the way so's she can walk on her own two feet to build and enjoy her family unit. It's more proper at this point in things that I move a little away so she can fulfill her purpose in life. That being said, Slim, I'm not leaving neither. I'm just now getting a family and a healthy one, what I've always wanted, and with nieces and nephews coming, I ain't about to leave this now. You opened yours to me and showed me this is possible, now we have to work with the progress 'ats being made and just expand those house walls to include several buildings. Just like the ranch borders are growing, so is the home."

"Hadn't thought of it that way, Jess."

"The Wentworths have hinted and now even personally invited me several times offering their home and done everything but physically insist face to face I have no option but. I even considered moving into Jr's old foreman's quarters but they told me it's developed a structure problem and they are going to tear it down and repurpose it to a chow hall for both ranches with Ada and another cookie living upstairs to a ground floor chow hall. The hands would still sleep in their bunk houses but it's just easier and smarter for cowboys to come to the food rather than the cooks trying to deliver it to both bunkhouses. Discussions been floating about combining all three ranches into one business effort combining all cowboy staffs and dividing up projects say on a weekly schedule making a better use of staff. We'd all be working Wentworth, Jr, yours ranches together in wrangler groups. I'd be floating as needed and just bed down at the Wentworths, mostly eat there, but float between them, you and the chow with the hands. Jr's decided he wants to spend more time raising his family than taking over when Chuck retires, so that leaves Chuck short handed on his work loads. 'Sides, the more I can learn from Chuck, the more I can share with you building your new ranch. 'At man is so squared away it's unreal. Dadgum I wish I had half of what he knows in his head. So there's plenty of work and plenty of keep to go around, just not needed to sleep in your home – giving you and Josie the privacy to get your family growing."

"I want you to do what's best for you and Josie, but I also want you coming and going in my house just like here – you ever knock on the door, I'll take your head off, Jess. Anytime you need anything, food, coffee, a nap – walk in the door like it's your home as always."

Jess gave him a look like what a silly idea, "Why would you even think I wouldn't do just that? I'm still a member of Josie's, now your, immediate family. Just try to keep me out the door or outta Daisy's pies!"

"You, ah….got a future planned out with Sarabeth and the Wentworths, could develop with you living under their roof?" Slim was just slightly being nosey.

"She tells me Jerry, the youngest, plans on staying either in Denver or back in Boston when he graduates – pursuing a business career which she says leaves the main ranch to her. She can't run a ranch alone."

"Well, of course not. I'm talking about you and her marrying – starting your own family." Slim decided to be more pointed.

"Well, got lots to learn from Chuck about running business, and I'm working on myself dealing with the personal part. She's certainly all and more than a cowboy could ever want…." Jess was messing with Slim and making faces toying with him not ready to admit his inner feelings out loud.

"Are you in love, Jess? C'mon, this is me." Slim was smiling and teasing but suddenly frowned and stopped with one look at Jess' face that went intently focused. Right about that second in time Jess' fishing line took a huge dip nearly pulling it from his hands and scrambling quickly to his knees he jerked forward and snagged the fish on the hook. With a huge smile he hauled in a 4 pound trout that was wiggling and squirming almost breaking his line, but he got it onto the bank and grabbed the gills with a humongous smile across his face.

"What?" He nearly yelled in deelight squirming like a boy at his prize.

Slim knew that was the end of their conversation. He grimaced but then another fish jerked his line and Jess was reloading bait on his and getting it back into the water as fast as he could.

For the actual physical move Josie was restricted to only being supervisor under the threat by Jess to actually hand cuff her behind her back if anyone caught her lifting anything. She was feeling much better, barely showing at 4 months along and just past morning sickness but with her history and their mother's history for the unknown reasons that cause miscarriages, Slim wasn't taking any chances and Jess backed him all the way. Since they were past the trail drive, roundup and after dropping in the new weanling crop to the "high 20" pastures, the jubilant hands from Slim's ranch were present and accounted for with every available wheeled unit between the three ranches lined up at the Sherman valley to load and transport anything their new boss and his expectant wife desired. The cowboys were so elated with having Slim and Josie as boss/owners they were overly helpful and so underfoot it was a constant traffic jam. Slim and Jess had spent the previous two weeks running the new personnel through the ropes at the relay station and the incoming stuff was standing by to move in once the house was cleared. The new ranch was only a little further south from Laramie on the Overland Trail not quite to Virginia Dale and just west of the stage trail by another half day back into the Poudre Valley and Red Feather lake area. The Laramie folks were somewhat sad to see the departure but reassured Slim and Jess would still be back and forth visiting and supervising the old stage stop as the ranch's business morphed from a stage stop and into a railhead for their cattle and staging pastures for contracted beef. So their business location would remain at the original homestead near Laramie as the railroad came in and the goal was to upgrade that ranch to hold business meetings with cattle buyers, suppliers and railroad business turning the original Sherman ranch more into a retreat and conference capacity but surrounded by grazing cattle.

During the summer after Slim's marriage and prior to the birth of his 2nd child Jr had been put in charge of building and improving as many roads as he could using existing owned property and already set in public roads. He worked with the cowboys of the DKBS before roundup so the travel distance could be cut down and it worked well during the move. Jr also had fixed the road where the buckboard accident happened banking the grade and several more coming down into the Sherman house valley making them safer. Plus he put in roads through the "high 20" and existing pastures including access paths to the oil rigs. He'd built 4 more "rigs" to grade the roads with and trained 4 teams of men to follow flags he laid out days ahead and suffice it to say Jr's degree in land engineering kicked in. He had a blast doing it and the DKBS/ Wentworth resources added to the new ranch's jubilant wranglers became activated once more and the move itself went off as smoothly as a wartime military maneuver. Once again, now joined by Josie, Slim and Jess were pleasantly astonished by the ease and speed of accomplishing what loomed as would have been a huge, time consuming undertaking with just the two of them. There even seemed to be a team competition between the DKBS and Slim's hands as to who, how many and first to the front of the line there was to assist any of the women designated to their home sight. Loading, unloading them on and off wagons, moving anything they reached to touch, everything. Jess found out through his connections that the wranglers from both ranches had a betting pool on which team ended up moving the most items, wagons, removed any containers from any woman's hands, etc. The winning ranch bought drinks for the losing team after. Slim was amused. Nobody was overworked, it moved quickly and people were home in their own beds before darkness and with the Continental Divide on the west side of the ranches, dusk and night comes early in the fall.

The new ranch proper was adjoined to Chuck and Maggie's DKBS and both had land spreading either direction from the home sections but which butted up to each other at the north end of Chuck's land. Slim's new home was at the south end of their land and their land pastures reached north toward Laramie. There was one very large ranch between Slim's new ranch and Laramie owned by elderly folks with no heirs or relatives. Slim and Jess were hoping to buy that land the moment it became available and to grow both the new ranch and the Sherman homestead into one huge property with the railroad right of way cutting through it or passing close as either right of way income or the very least preventing weight loss in the cattle. They agreed to set aside a percent of the left over estate funds and for Jess, a percent of the revenue the oil wells generated, into a holding fund to buy that property. As soon as the babies arrived and could make house visits, they planned on visiting with the elderly property owners as to their interest in the property.

On Slim's new ranch's proper, its log lodge home was 4500 square foot and rivaled Chuck's for grandiose style and the floorplan was nearly identical, just two fewer bedrooms on the wing opposite the master's suite wing. While both homes had direct access to the road, there was on their private property an adjoining lane that connected the back doors between the two houses which sat maybe one block apart. Between the two log homes there was the common arenas and the barns were on the perimeters of the arenas. There was a slight curve or bend in the lane between the two homes and the lane was tree lined so you could see the other house, just not a straight or naked view and accommodated each ranch some privacy. The lane made a complete circumference of both ranch's conjoined arenas and was then lined on that perimeter by barns and supply buildings and bunkhouses. That circumference was about one mile in length much like a dirt race track and the inner arenas were pole corrals of different sizes built together with a system of inner connecting gates. Sorting and branding plus working horses could be divided up and shuffled that way. The new ranch log home was only 4 bedrooms (Chuck's had 6) plus the master suite with a full bath and shower with indoor hot water and the four extra bedrooms were separated by two bathrooms laid out so that the bedrooms could use either bathroom that was empty. It had a large den on the wing containing the master bedroom like Chuck had done and the other bedrooms were on another wing on the other side of the grand living room with huge fireplace and a floor to ceiling wall of window. The living room, dining room and kitchen were in an open format in view of the front entry and the kitchen had an island and second smaller seating table in another bay window just like Maggie had in her home. Both homes had front circle drives with porches with seating and views of the road plus covered back porches with swings that viewed the interior portions of both ranches. Slim's ranch was closer to the foothills and mountain views and all the windows were strategically placed to take advantage of the mountain views. They had hauled Slim's "guest room" bed over to his new bedroom because it had been custom built for any guest over 6'5" and he qualified. Elroy's former master bed was deconstructed and stored and Slim's 'guest bedroom' at the Wentworths was converted into Jess' den. That den contained Jess' desk Sara had purchased for him plus his stump end table safe, the fainting couch and they added a couple extra business chairs. Sasha's favorite spot next to the bed was the fainting couch and she basically moved into it complete with an old quilt Maggie had. So basically, unless you knew better both Chuck's and now Slim's house and ranches looked like one large spread with two very large log lodge homes mirroring each other at the road end of the property with the balance of their two working sites combined in the middle between them and mostly out of view of the road. The only exception was a combined road that ran between the houses from the road through to the back arenas and barns and was used as a utility road for entrance and egress without using the formal circle driveways. Because it was a heavy use road and the main thorough fare, Jr had graded it, lined it with logs and filled it in with small gravel.

And Ms. Sashalina? That was one daggone happy pooch. Talk about doggy heaven! She had been sleeping in the middle of the bed for her afternoon Pappy-nappy with her stack of his borrowed clothes around her when she heard Jess come into the bedroom unannounced. He was carrying only two pieces of luggage which contained his entire wardrobe. His new desk and stump enshrouded safe from the homestead was, outside of his outdoor items and horse, all his worldly possessions and had been delivered by cowboys and already set up in what had been Slim's guest room. Jess saw Sasha sleeping and dropped his luggage landing with a thud on the floor at the foot of the bed and she blinked slowly trying to wake up. He put one piece on the bed and opened it and a good stack of his clothes, mostly his heavy winter coat, fell out on the bed and he pulled the rest of them and tossed them on top of her. At first she just thumped her tail blinking big brown eyes, but when the big stack landed on top of her she jumped up whining and squealing in doggie delight, pawed at his stack of clothes and looked back up at Jess. He smiled big and opened his arms. "Sweetie, I'm home!" he announced and she came flying into his arms washing his face with her tongue and wiggling so hard Jess couldn't hang onto her. They ended up wallering all over each other in the clothes in the middle of the bed until they were out of wiggle and then nestled. She laid across his chest while he rubbed her cheeks laying on his back and in about 2 seconds flat they ended up in yet another power nap because that bed nabbed Jess…. again. He turned over onto his side with Sasha snuggled under his chin and the stress oozed from his body.

Sarabeth was still over at Slim's helping Josie when hands came to unload her things to her bedroom. Maggie led them down the hall and saw Jess and Sasha buried in a heaping mass of clothes and asleep and she smiled with weepy eyes and softly closed the door as the men dropped things off in Sarabeth's room and left unaware of the power nap in the other room. After they had left Maggie went back to Jess' room through his new den still boxed up on the set up furniture and stood in the adjoining door jamb looking at the young cowboy. This time he was in physical health still drawn into the center of his universe on that bed and out cold again. She smiled while staring at him and apart from the two day old scruff and his grown size, his face was as peaceful as a 7 year old boy without a care in the world. She thought to herself, finally for the first time in his life at 30 years old, a boy and his dog enjoying his own private bedroom, furnished with a real full sized bed with proper bedding and with a dog companion or unconditional love who doted on him. She put her hands clasped together in front of her mouth and lost tears of happiness whispering softly into her hands to her long departed partner, Jess' mother.

"He's home, Sarah. We've found him and finally gotten him home for you and I'll take good care of him."

Her shoulders began to shake her lips were encased into her hands and then she lost it in soft tears into her folded hands. Without so much as waking and with Sasha tucked under his chin by both hands, Jess rolled over to his right side facing the window. So Maggie went over to the little basket she'd tried to give Jess on his first visit. It was on the side table sitting between the two big stuffed chairs in the bay window and contained the locket with the picture of his mother. She thought sitting on the table facing the view of the meadow and mountains beyond would be where his mother would have loved and gravitated. Maggie sat down all folded in on herself, then pulled out the old worn hanky she'd cried into many times since leaving Texas and her best friend. Then with trembling fingers she opened the locket containing his mother's wedding picture she'd shown Jess and held it open facing Jess imagining as if the photo could really see her son was safe and sleeping. Then she whispered with her mouth hovering over the locket,

"See, Sarah. There he is…all grown and just exactly what you made him to be. You'd be so proud."

Something changed that day in the life of Jess Harper, only he wasn't looking that far ahead because his mind and energy was concentrated on the needs of his changing world. Looking back years later, this would be the day finally at just over 30 years old his world seemed to morph into being a son in his own home, in his first very own private bedroom with real furniture, a bed off the floor, living with his own "near birth family," guest yet growing into blood kinship of his future. He was not a pardner who'd been captured off the wild road of destruction and invited into a family as a best friend. Now he was beginning a new chapter that could lead him eventually into taking over as a padrone of these combined enterprises should he officially commit himself and become married into the family. As he had told Slim once, it was his to lose…and as his ma had instilled…if he never gave up. He'd had a transition home off the big open with Slim, but there they were equal adults in a business partnership where Slim had generously opened and shared his birth home. That experience had showed Jess for the first time how a true home could and should be with healthy family-type relationships, Slim as his best friend but more so as a business partner. With the Wentworths, Jess was coming into a son relationship with appropriately aged adult role models at a parental state. Yes, the Wentworths were headed into being parents by law, but that was as close as Jess would ever know and he'd just arrived in the door with potential to be the future son. No longer was he a guest or part of a partnership, or hired hand bored with just changing horse teams living in a public transportation building/home that was a place of business. Nor was he camped out while helping the foreman during his paternity leave or as a guest businessman visiting on a commerce deal and buying cattle. But for the moment none of that mattered as he plugged into the massive down padded bed for a quick recharge with unconditional love snuggled at his heart.

Maggie closed the locket and hugged it under her chin, lost some more tears and wiped them with the old hanky and then folded everything back together neatly into the basket draping the hanky delicately so it could air dry and patted it softly. As she held the little basket in her lap her mind recounted what had happened through the years bringing them to these moments (for those who've not read the first 3 parts). Jess' mother had replaced her own as a female role model when Chuck had married her back east and immediately moved her from her affluent and debutante birth home to the small Texas panhandle town as a newlywed over thirty five years ago. Jess' mother was the first woman to befriend her and they'd bonded instantly and then had helped Maggie learn how to be a wife, a mother and a frontier woman in a raw and rowdy land. Over the +35 years Maggie had come from a very sheltered, prosperous Boston long line into what was a budding Texan's wife turning into a successful north Colorado cattle baron and raising three beautiful children and becoming a grandmother. Jess' mother had come from the opposite, a poor east Texas family elderly parents in quickly declining health selling off their beautiful teenager to a no-account to have money to be buried with and had gone from poor to poverty and abuse trying to raise baby after baby. But Jess' mother had such a deep inner feisty yet peaceful and strong core who fought for the underdog and made due with the meager she was given and made the most from it. She was loyal to a fault and Maggie knew she'd have never survived without Jess' mother's friendship, even sisterhood. Maggie only heard about a sister born after Jess later known to be Francie, and his two older brothers she had known were born copies of the less than perfect father. But the minute she'd met Jess after he was born, she knew she was meeting a being who would change his environment for the better no matter where he was. He was so much like his mother, a beautiful person inside and out and Maggie had fallen in love with the little baby boy just as much as his own mother had. When Chuck had moved their family north when Jess was only 5 Maggie lost hope of ever seeing him again and it broke her heart losing the two people dearest to her heart. Now, with the mother tragically taken, her son….. "their" son, was finally home in a safe place where he could be nurtured again. Beyond her dreams having never even hoped to ever see him again, now Maggie could only pray her daughter and Jess could have the opportunity to build their lives together and take what Chuck and her had built and make it even more and better. It was so remarkable how well her daughter and Jess complimented and finished each other that it thrilled her. She just had to be patient as a parent and guide them while they made their own discoveries. Today, they had come one step closer and Maggie's heart was so full of love and exhilaration she found it was hard to keep breathing. What pleased her the most was that Jess had come all on his own without coercion or manipulation and with his eyes wide open. The first evening when they'd reconnected the Wentworth's had been completely honest with him about their past association and what they had to offer, even their hopes of his being a future part of their family. It was their way, truth built with trust and honor and surrounded by open arms of love. It was what she'd fallen in love with in Chuck when he'd shown up in her Boston world, all handsome and rugged cowboy with grit and drive so missing in her eastern friends. There was no other way of living in their minds. Chuck wasn't a gorgeous man on the physical view like Jess and Slim were, but he was attractive in a handsome sort of way and his high moral character was what had won her heart. Their youngest son, Jerry seemed to be a throwback to her Boston roots and even looked like her father. He was a good person but a dedicated city dweller. She'd always honored her parents her whole life, so maybe having Jess re-enter her world and walk freely into her home was her reward rounding out her brood. She always wanted four children but having Jerry was difficult on her and they had to stop with three. By age, Jess would fit in a tight second to her oldest Jr and was barely 3 years older than Sarabeth. Her eldest, Jr., had a mechanically inclined even gifted mind and one well suited to manage cattle and land, but for a firstborn he was a little short in people charisma and was better when it comes to devising a plan to break down a project. If someone had the idea, he was the one to get it done, but to invent it himself wasn't his strength. On the opposite, Jess had that inborn leadership ability to take charge and then the charm where right or wrong people would follow him over a cliff and he ignited whatever room he was in with life energy. Jess didn't have the educated mechanical ability Jr had but that never seemed to stop him from plowing in and trying to figure out a way to get things done. Best of all he wasn't so proud of his self that he would refuse suggestions or being taught, which was better in most cases, than trained aptitude. That skill was what engaged people far enough to then be captured by his natural charisma, the majority of the time causing the work to be done by the other, more trained person. Chuck often said leadership is proven by the ability to bring quality people into the project and activate them happily. Chuck and Jess were very close in who they were as a person but Jess had a nice measure of Jr's get it done ability, too. It would take that to be able to take this enterprise Chuck had built to the next level. Now Jr was becoming more and more dedicated to his wife and children, more than the business, which was admirable, but he wasn't strong on multitasking either. And besides, maybe having Jess become part of her home was reward for his birth mother, too, for all the grief she'd lived through. Just the sheer odds of even reconnecting with Jess, or him being the person he became, was so far beyond her math skills she didn't even want to try. Maggie shook her head at her thoughts still trying to believe Jess was "home," her home, memories tugging at her heart and of her whole body aching, literally, having wanted to capture him as a baby and nurture him as one of her own. So many times when his mother was over busy Maggie had wanted desperately to pick Jess up and just hug the stuffin's out of him and bathe him in kisses. Her breasts even ached to nurture him but that opportunity had not been offered to her so she'd stayed within her bounds. As a baby and then toddler Jess had the cutest giggle, well, for a guy it was a chuckle, and she'd heard it escape a few times during his recent visits wishing for more of them. His smile just melted her w …um…insides and his hugs into her neck and hair melted her whole body. It wasn't the love like would be to her husband, and not quite like with her babies, this was an altogether different love just as deep and strong like she'd had for Jess' ma and … …..argh!... she shook her head softly and stirred from her dreaming and with a lingering look at the sleeping 'son' she headed for the kitchen wiping the remaining moisture from her eyes on her apron wishing his mother could be here, too…. supper was almost ready and everyone would be hungry and very tired tonight. She brushed a fallen lock of hair back off of her forehead and focused on getting back to her heart's dedication taking care of those she loved.

For all intent and purpose the DKBS and Slim's ranch also seemed to merge from two large ranches side by side and into one larger compound just with multiple lodgings and business sections. Each family was their own unit yet they were so close in companionship, no one really knocked on the door to come in, they just walked in announcing themselves. Breakfast, dinners, special occasions were all shared and rotated and everyone brought something to each table and pitched in cleaning up so no one had to do everything each time. Everyone was at home in each other's kitchens like it was their own, cooking, cleaning up and eating or snacking on leftovers from an off schedule meal. Coffee was always hot at either house or you made it for yourself at either house and there was a constant re shuffle returning carried off coffee mugs. If it was cold outside, you came in the door carrying an extra log for the fire from the rick outside. They agreed to alternate holiday meals, have one meal a week, Sunday noon, as a combined family meal and if the date numeral was even it was held at Maggie's kitchen and if the date was an odd number, it was at Josie's. There was one exception of the two months on either side of a birth, then Daisy was the chief cook in charge. Everyone saw everyone every day even if it was just a cup of coffee to start or end the day, or a mid-day break with or without business talk. Jr eventually had to put in brick pavers as a wide sidewalk on the part of the lane connecting the two houses and he had a horse path from his house to his folk's.

Jr and his family had moved to his new log home a month earlier on the south end of Chuck's property but other than grafting Elroy's house maid into their family, they kept mostly to themselves until Kera was older, stronger, and the language barrier had been overcome. Once they found a teacher for a deaf child it was planned to have evening language classes with the family so that by the time Kera reached 4 years old everyone could communicate with her. Jr and Jerry's old bedrooms and shared bath became the guest quarters for any visitors. Chuck and Maggie had their wing of the house with the den and Sarabeth and Jess had the other wing with the guest bedrooms, the two shared bathrooms and the extra guest room turned into a den in the adjoining room from Jess. All the wranglers from all three ranches worked together in teams on whosever project was priority and Slim, Jess, Jr and Chuck all had weekly meetings divvying up the week's schedule based on the particular talents of the wrangler's on staff. That included Slim and Jess making routine trips back to the "high 20 homestead" for management and oil well checks. Many hands make the work a whole lot easier.

At the Wentworths on moving day supper was another smoked beef brisket that fell apart in the sauce plus horse radish sauce, homemade bread, Sarabeth's baked potato casserole, creamed asparagus from the canning off her garden and apple pie as a homecoming dinner. Maggie and Ada had made a double supper and had taken half of everything over to the Sherman's so they could just sit down to a hot meal and go to bed, especially the 5 month expectant mother. With the abundant help making the transition move, everything was mostly in their new location and unloaded by sundown with just unpacking boxes left to do and everyone turned in.

Before supper that evening and after his power nap Jess had unpacked all his "stuff" taking all of 10 minutes at most and he showed up for dinner with his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows, the shirt tail untucked, top 3 buttons undone and in some slippers he found at the edge of his bed when he woke up. Well, tripped over more than found. He decided to use them to prevent Sasha from making a tug-of-war toy out of them and she'd drawn a bead on them especially when his toes wiggled from inside them. His hair was slightly askew being flat on one side and fuzzy from the nap. Without stopping, hesitating or sitting down first and followed by his deelighted little butterfly shadow he walked through the kitchen heading for the dining table but saw the dishes Maggie had put out in a stack on the kitchen island including a table cloth. So he diverted to set the table whilst pilfering black olives from the prepared salad bowl sitting on the island. He'd never tasted the black ones and immediately liked them but after eating several Maggie giggled and had to swat his hands away. He was leaned over deep diving with his fingers fishing all of them out of the bowl he could find while waiting for everyone else to arrive so they could sit down together. And per normal, being swatted his eyebrows peaked in the middle with a forlorn look of an abused child bereft of nourishment (or hand slapped found in cookie jar) and he pulled his last few stolen olives into safety on his side opposite Maggie's swat and then turned his head away and choked them into his mouth quickly before she could chase him and reclaim them to the salad bowl. When he looked back at her she was pointing to the salad bowl with a "momma frown" expecting him to return the uneaten ones. Of course he smiled like the innocent boy he was and held up his empty hands with a guiltless look on his face. Maggie shook her head and as she turned to go retrieve more olives she swatted him lightly on his bum playfully. That surprised him but behind her back he finished chewing his mouthful of the tasty morsels he'd quickly hidden. Then he carried the salad bowl to the table and as Maggie approached with her stash she saw him with his hands on the bowl and she stopped in her tracks. So Jess raised his hands like she was holding him up in a robbery and he backed away from the table with a bowed head. With one eyebrow raised she put more olives into the salad and then stirred some lettuce leaves to cover them, turned and went back to the stove. Jess had turned and headed for the living room with Sasha prancing at his feet. After supper he helped Sarabeth do the dishes while Maggie put back the few leftovers. Nobody asked him. Sara had put her apron on but Jess didn't own one so Maggie caught him from behind with his hands full of drying a rinsed dish. She wrapped her arms around his waist and tied on one of her generic, un-frilly ones and snuck in a hug from behind him in the process. It startled him at first but then he quickly figured out she was sneaking a hug so he leaned back into her head pressed into the small of his back and patted her forearms wrapped around his middle. When she'd finished tying the knot he swiveled around facing her and did a proper hug whispering in her ear that hugs were free anytime she wanted them, no need to ask, and then out loud thanked her for a wonderful meal.

Then the three of them joined Chuck in the living room around the freshly restoked fireplace where Chuck sat in a chair nursing a shot glass of bourbon and scouring the 3 day old newspaper from Denver and the weekly one he had ordered from Kansas City. He was behind on reading the cattle futures. On one sofa Maggie tatted and Sarabeth knitted. Jess stretched out on the other sofa with a book and shot of bourbon but where within minutes on a full stomach he promptly passed out in another nap with Sasha passed out in a deep sleep snuggled between his thighs. He had one knee bent up and resting against the sofa back as her ceiling giving her a secure, cozy den. She had her front legs and paws folded delicately and tucked under his um…dignity with her nose pointed toward his head, hers resting on top the scars in the crevice over his femur artery, her eyes softly closed oblivious as to what parts of his body served as her pillow. To her, his body was warm and she was always cold so his body was her heat source and she'd found the perfect sized nook fitting her proportions she could relax into when he was on his back. If he even twitched, she'd know it and wake up to follow him. And it didn't bother him none either as though they'd grown up together nestled. The open book he'd started to read was face side down on his chest, his empty bourbon glass was on the wagon wheel coffee table that had at one time trapped him with Sara and his face was directed toward the back of the sofa. After covering him and Sasha with a light knitted coverlet that lived on the sofa Maggie sat back down and quietly commented,

"That's the second nap he's taken since he arrived this afternoon." Her voice was soft and quiet.

"He never took a nap that I saw up at the Sherman homestead. Well, at least not during the day." Sara offered then shut up not wanting to explain their sometimes evening and late night campfires out at the lake. During their conversations she'd sneak in a head massage by stroking his hair and he would drift off into a nap with his head on her lap as the stars began to come out at night. She'd have to wake him to go inside and to bed properly often believing he was more used to sleeping at night stretched out under the stars than interested in an indoor soft bed up off the hard ground and away from night creepy, crawly visitors. That was too personal a memory to share with parents. It was also a point of self-assurance for her that he'd begun trusting her that often releasing his decision-maker to her care enough to drift off. As such she was hesitant about sharing their private moments with anyone trying to be extremely careful not to betray his moments of trusting her.

"He must be quite tired." Maggie added.

Chuck was finished reading and pulled out of the newspapers dropping them half folded into his lap, rubbed his chin and studied Jess for several moments pondering the question. Maggie saw Chuck looking at Jess the way she saw him study reading his poker opponents.

"What do you see, Poppa?"

Chuck tossed his used newspapers onto the kindling stack next to him at the fireplace.

"Young men, especially with his background, hold up an invisible perimeter like a fence around themselves as a security measure both for protection and defense. Some men's perimeters are really close to them, others further away. Generally the smarter man allows a greater distance 'at gives them time to make adjustments as needed. Even when alone they will rarely let down their guard. It's how they stay alive. I've already seen that in him on quite a few occasions."

"Like a tell?"

"Yes. Unless you know what to look for, you wouldn't see it and his are very subtle. Later, he goes off in reacting, but his sense of surrounding is very wide and acute often not needing to arouse to a higher level. He even picked up on you, Mother, when Josie arrived and you began realizing things from her about their mother and history. Remember?"

"I remember the event, Poppa, but I was very…."

"Overloaded with incoming." He finished her sentence for her. She did it to him, too. Married spirits.

"Right."

"He felt it. You were standing behind him out of sight, but almost the second you began he stiffened and started looking around for you."

"So that's why when he stood up he turned to find me and then gave me the big hug?" Maggie's face was almost blushing.

"It was exactly that. I don't believe he fully understood what was happening with you, but he knew something was going on and only that it was special. Too much a gentleman to intrude asking you. Expected you to share when you were ready."

"So why the sleep?" Sara asked. "Is sleep significant as in exhaustion, or is he just bored with us already?"

Chuck cut in gently, "The way I read it, apparently Jess' spirit finds peace in our home for his soul that he'd never experienced before. This isn't a house like the one in Laramie with what I've heard reported is continued Indian uprisings and the military troops constantly dropping by. More so, as a stage stop that home is opened up and used as a public transportation terminal with multiple events per day of invading strangers trafficking through every day as required just to make ends meet. He's a people person who enjoys meeting new people, but with his background of dealing with the worst parts of society, years of uncontrolled multiple unknown contacts per day wears on a person. Keeps a man on his nerves like he was still on the wide open. I've got nothing bad to say about Slim or his homestead and understand the need to do whatever it takes to pay the bills. So I'm not denigrating that. But by contrast our home is more of a private retreat, a secure den of a private, close family isolating the outside world away by its secured walls. This log structure only reinforces that security. This type of secure home was a given to you, Sarabeth, so you know little else. But Jess' background was from what Mother and I witnessed, of being born in a house built from toothpicks which the Texas wind and dirt blew through. Most likely he slept on a rolled up blanket on the floor because the few times I visited, there was little furniture anywhere. Then he lived through a war and then in rented beds or on the ground for the wide open 5 years followed by Slim's house which was the public transportation station. Jr said everyone slept on cots there. So our house has every nuance of being something brand new to Jess' spirit as a place of security and in a family setting. It didn't even surprise me one bit that there were times during the various previous visits we had difficulty even waking him up. The sleep is from both exhaustion of 30 years of no solid peace and from the security felt here to be able to relax that far."

"I hadn't realized that, Poppa, but it's true of Slim's original home. It's cozy and a nice family setting, but there is just a ton of traffic and most of them come inside for refreshments and a majority of them walk right in without announcement. It's like living in a café with the walls made from glass." Sara offered remembering her summer there. "I was glad I didn't bring anything valuable, not that the family there was suspect, but they would have fought to protect anything I'd brought and I didn't want anyone getting hurt on my account."

"This is vital, ladies, and an edict if I ever put one out. At all costs, I want to keep it this way for him. A man needs to experience a secure home environment at least once in his life, even if it takes over 30 years for him to finally experience it. Understand?" Chuck had drawn a direct bead on his two ladies. "Whether or not he stays is not the priority. I want him to know this house as a place of peace and security where he CAN forget where he laid his gun belt down."

"Yes, Sir." Sara nodded looking back and forth between her dad and Jess. She'd always found her parents experience and wisdom to be extremely valuable and what she was hearing was going into her mind as education what she had dedicated herself inside to build and now how to get there.

"Of course, Poppa." Maggie also acknowledged although she'd already determined this was her priority.

"Slim has invested in Jess the first stages by providing the familiarity of a healthy family love and is an experience Jess never had. Between Slim's new home here and our house that initial experience needs to grow inside Jess for him to have the proper foundation from which he'll need in order to know how to build his own family. He's not had that in his life prior to this, probably why he's still single. So, we need to work with Slim and add to what he's so vitally begun in bringing Jess into a healthy family experience. Slim is taking his own natural growth forward in proceeding with a family which will also be an example for Jess. And be assured, he studies Slim because Slim has earned his trust. Slim's blazing the trail for Jess and we need to support that with whatever we have here so that Jess can actually become what he was born to be."

Maggie was fighting tears brimming over her lower eyelids in complete agreement with her husband, still endeared to him for his insightfulness and inbred natural fatherly way caring for people. She also knew him inside and out that privately Chuck was also busy ordering these things as such from guilt having not done something to bring Jess away from his nasty birth home at his age 5 and failing to have obeyed that inner instinct that had nagged at him ever since. She knew her husband wouldn't make the same mistake twice and it made her proud to be his wife and bare his children.

When it was time to go to bed Sarabeth brought her brush and comb and sat down gently on the sofa near Jess' feet not knowing whether or not to wake him up. But the movement did and it startled him awake causing his whole body to lift slightly off the sofa which startled Sasha and she quietly "woofed" with her eyes still half closed but got up to make way. He saw Sara holding the utensils and rubbed his eyes mumbling in embarrassed disbelief he'd passed out again. He tried to sit up getting tangled in the coverlet and then stopped and removed it with one hand. Being distracted by the coverlet he put the book aside barely getting it to the coffee table without it falling on the floor, and sat up apologizing while reaching for Sara's comb. She offered to pass since it had been a huge day, but he gently pulled the comb from her hand waving her into position while sitting up still rubbing his eyes with his other hand. Sasha scooted to the side resettling from outside of his thigh across it as Sara backed into his lap and took down her combs. From their experienced routine, he had her hair brushed and braided within 10 minutes and foregoing the "no-receipt smooch pas de deux", when they'd finished they exchanged a simple smooch with a polite "thank you" not wanting to embarrass the parents. Chuck and Maggie were watching with small smiles without really looking and everyone exchanged goodnights. Jess rubbed the hair treatment residue on his hands off on Sasha coat up and down her back and she thought she was getting a good 'cratch thumping her hind leg in assistance and enjoyed it. Then everyone turned in. Yes, he slept alone with Sasha, slept deeply and they had trouble waking him up the next several mornings and then he powered down a huge country breakfast. Daisy never put onions in her breakfast potatoes but Maggie always did and her eggs always had those little green onion chive things, too. And salsa. He loved Ada's authentic salsa and whenever it was set at the table at the end of the meal he would drink the remaining salsa in the bowl before leaving the table and when everyone else was through.

Maggie offered him the other head of the table to sit opposite Chuck but he refused as that was "Maggie's place of honor" and he sat on the long end facing Sara. Eventually their breakfast and lunch four ended up back at Maggie' bay window round table which was the Wentworth family spot when there were no guests for the meal. Jess insisted his agreement to accept their offer of hospitality was conditional they let him slip into their normal life and pull his part of the load and they not treat him as a guest. So Maggie moved them to her bay window, showed him where she kept the coffee grounds and where to hang his apron. Evening meals were always at the dining room table with the extra leaves removed. Jess' agreement to move also included paying either room and board or some section of the bills, their choice. Maggie waived that decision to Chuck who assigned Jess escort chores for Maggie's market trips. Somebody needed to carry the supplies to and from the buckboard and the house. As much as he loved Maggie, Chuck hated shopping. So about every other week Jess and Maggie began having a "market date" and had a lunch out together in town where the market was located. What Jess never told them was while Maggie normally put her food items on account to be billed which Chuck paid for later and by the month, Jess started covertly paying the market guy in cash every other time and getting a receipt (which he gave to Sarabeth under promise of oil account confidence). It basically kept the Wentworth market expenses where they were before Jess' arrival and he didn't feel so guilty eating huge portions of Maggie's culinary expertise. Chuck couldn't figure out why their food bill never went up until he guessed correctly that Jess was covertly subsidizing his appetite. He had a quiet chat with Slim to confirm Jess would do such a thing and Slim got a good chuckle from it. Daisy's cooking was homemade food which he still greatly enjoyed with all the meals he still ate at the Sherman's, but Maggie used more spices which she received from her east coast family and those flavors fascinated Jess. Plus Maggie routinely received market foods or ingredients by shipment from back east at unknown costs including flavored coffee and cloves. Maggie 'teasingly' informed Jess those shipments were part of the "market errand" and was charged with unpacking and stacking into Maggie's pantry…but her pantry had to alphabetical. Maggie's kitchen was impeccably clean, extremely organized and state of the art for 1870. Men were only allowed to make coffee. Cooking was out of bounds. Jess raised his eyebrows at her insistence of alphabetizing the pantry teasing her and once she figured out he was teasing she swatted his bicep and then they hugged. Some of the imported crates were too heavy for her and Jess quickly figured that was why she was nudging him that direction. Occasionally she'd have to re-sort a few items marking it up to Jess not knowing the item's name like "heavy cream" was filed under "h" and not "c" where he could read the label but filed it by the first word often an adjective. She had some higher shelves that she used for lessor used items because they were too tall for her to reach and he'd pick up some market items making her pantry over full. So he'd put items on the higher shelves and she'd have to ask him where they were and then to retrieve them hollering from deep in her pantry, "I need a tall person!" Jess would smile and render gallant assistance. One time after having spent a whole half day in growing panic over a missing item, Jess came into the house on an errand and she was in a tither. And once Jess got her calmed down and described what it would look like, without hesitation he went right to it. It was just miss filed because he didn't know exactly what it was. So she suggested he leave those items in a particular corner of the pantry and she'd file them later. That was fine with him because one thing that unraveled him the fastest was seeing Maggie upset or emotional. Really unraveled him and really fast and for reasons that were never discussed. He'd seen Daisy upset and could basically handle that and work his way around her, but there was something that twisted inside him if Maggie got upset and he'd turn into a puddle. Helping her with physical kitchen duties was fine with him because he helped his self to those food's recipes, too, which he knew cost money plus there was the indoor bathroom and that magnificent hot shower you couldn't even pay for at nearby hotels. Putting stuff away and carrying heavy objects for any of the ladies was like nothing and things he'd done for his ma, so he felt like a spoiled, but happy camper living in luxury. There were times he'd be coming in from the work and head to the house for something and see her hanging bedding out on the clothes line, some of it large and heavy when wet down filled stuff or homemade quilts which were also heavy when wet and she'd be fighting with them, sometimes both her and Sara would be buried in the folds tossing in the wind. He'd side track over dismount and grab on to help or hang the heavier pieces alongside her. She'd divert to working on the delicate, feminine articles she knew would embarrass him to touch. Then after checking her basket for any other heavy articles and finding none left he'd catch up to the cowboys doing the job he'd been working with them and she'd turn around finding he'd disappeared. More than once he helped hang heavy bedding items whilst still mounted on Traveler, guiding the horse with his leg pressure while pinning or holding the other end for Maggie. So basically, he became the muscle and look out constantly monitoring her house area should she be into something too heavy and he'd head her way. Her only exception to his help was his laundry which she insisted to do for him because she didn't let any male near or operate her washing tubs and hot water set up Jr had built next to the unit that heated all their hot water. She didn't work cattle and men didn't work her housework. Those were the rules. Her rules.

He also helped her groom her garden and small orchard by doing the heavy soil stuff – whatever she'd point at or she'd make a hint "if he could" carrying in mulch or compost or need a few shovel fulls turned "on days he was already dirty from work." She never mentioned it but Chuck was too old for heavy house duties and both their boys had moved on in life, so Maggie really needed Jess' muscles and it never took more than one hint, sometimes just a look at an item and he'd handle it. Daisy hadn't been much into gardening not really having a plot at the Sherman homestead and being an east coast city girl , but Maggie was a whiz and active gardener and Jess simply traded changing horse teams for muscle duty for Maggie.

He finally found her stand of peach trees and she found him there one day, well pretty sure it was him. His bay was under the tree with human legs covered in chaps hanging down on either side and someone's upper torso was up into the tree and stuffing his self with fresh peaches. A hand would come down and wipe on the thighs then disappear again and she heard slurping sounds she was sure was juices from the peach. Whether on purpose or not, he had found one of her juiciest trees. Without stopping she kept walking and over her shoulder informed the rider he'd be on the lu the next day if he didn't stop at two picked fresh from a tree and could feel his frown on the back of her head. But the horse disappeared within the minute so she assumed the rider stopped with the one he was eating…just in time and hopefully grateful for the advance warning. It was a truth about the lu, but generally took 3 or more unwashed peaches. She'd also raised two boys with hollow legs, so she knew what worked and smiled to herself mischievously once out of his sight. It wasn't long after his arrival she found an empty canning jar had been absconded from its assigned place in the pantry then she quickly found it in its new spot but that it held cleaned and dry peach seeds. That puzzled her until one day she found the jar back in its secret location but with one new seed. About a month later a new row of evenly spaced baby peach trees appeared in her peach orchard that were tied to stakes and had a trough dug around them. Somehow those troughs kept getting filled with water without rain and some of her compost pile disappeared regularly. She just shook her head amazed and completely delighted with his initiative and making his self right at home. It was a good thing because some of her established trees were getting aged but she didn't have the oomph to replant. In her youth it was nothing to find her elbow deep in fresh dirt. It had saddened her to tears when one morning she looked out the kitchen window and saw one of them had finally given up and had fallen over and up against some of the others. It had been one of her top producing trees with the sweetest peaches but had stopped making peaches for several years and the leaves were becoming wimpy she just didn't have the heart to take it out. Without having said anything about it, still drying her tears within a few minutes from that window she'd seen Jess head to her little orchard with a shovel and small hatchet. She watched him tenderly trim the nearby trees that had received minor damage from the fallen tree, then he caringly unplugged the trunk from the ground and carry it away. That was the starting point where the new row showed up a month later exactly 12" further away from the established trees in fresh dirt. She was grateful he took the little tree somewhere else to make firewood because she couldn't have watched it be chopped up….it had been one of her first successful trees from Texas. Several days later a neatly groomed wooden vessel appeared near the stove that was 12" tall, about 5" in diameter and was hollowed out in the middle. Her cooking utensils that lived next to her stove when clean had been inserted butt side down and she stared at it for the longest time, then recognized it was a part of the trunk of the old peach tree but he had just repurposed it. Then on the table she found little round discs still 5" in diameter but only 1" thick and they were a set of 6 in another matching wood holder that stacked them. They had the same bark and had tree rings visible. There were three more discs but were from low in the trunk because they were 8" in diameter, still 1 inch thick and those were stationed at the stove. She didn't know what these were for until sitting at the table Jess grabbed one of the 5" ones and put his hot coffee mug on top of it and had gently put one under her cup. Then she saw him put a hot pot off the stove onto one of the 8" ones. So she asked about them and he said he'd made what he called "trivets" so her peach tree could still live with her but in other ways. He showed her the tree rings on one of the bigger ones and said he'd counted about 30 rings which meant it was "30 years old near as he could tell about as old as me!" He said he figured that it must have been one of the ones she'd cultured from Texas so he figured it was a special tree. She was lucky because his ma told him peach trees only lived 15 years and it took them 3 years before they made fruit. So to have a 30 year old peach tree she musta been a great gardener. And it was his way of thanking her for making his ma's clove-infused peach preeserves and keeping him well supplied for over 2 years and not letting him pay her for them. That brought a flood of tears which he began to get upset about but she pulled him in for a very tight hug thanking him over and over for such thoughtfulness explaining they were happy tears. None of her family had ever done something like that before and she'd given food items as gifts to other people through the years but most of them barely said thank you. Then he disappeared from the room and was back in a few minutes hiding something behind his back. She'd dried her face by then and was peering around him to see what was in his hands. He apologized that it wasn't done yet but he couldn't wait and brought forward a horizontal rectangular piece divided into a hollowed out box rounded out top and bottom still in bark and with little peach seeds as knobs for feet and a seed knob with a twine latch. He said it needed a cloth lining but he hadn't figured out how to do that, thought the tailor would laugh him out of the store but thought it would make a great jewelry box for her. That restarted the water works and as she blubbered back more tears and volunteered to make the interior lining by hand with some left over velvet she had from a winter dress. He shrugged his shoulders saying it was hers to do and offered to make some more or if she had something specific she needed he had a little of the trunk still left. Since this particular tree had beautiful bark and colorful rings, he was thinking about a pair of bookends maybe for all her recipe books he'd seen in her pantry. She left that decision up to his creative juices….and that began a long string of birthday and holiday gifts, sometimes a "just because" gift. Then he asked when the peach crop came in and offered to help harvest and carry the baskets for her when she got to canning and putting up preeserves.

While she never said a word Jess always made up his bed and straightened his room, never left the bathroom untidy and he had found and was using her laundry basket that lived in a cubby hole in each bathroom. Maggie marveled every time she'd go in to clean a room finding nothing needed done knowing that was something instilled in him by his Ma. She'd just do her routine sanitizing and change his bedding so she could keep her laundry schedule. Most of the time the laundry basket was found moved to her washing station when it was full of dirty items, too, and the really soiled items were on the floor next to the basket. She learned she could ban Jess from her laundry machines but that didn't stop him from carrying his laundry to and from. She just shook her head and thanked his ma under her breath. Jr had required extra tutoring against walking out of his dirty clothes and leaving them where they fell on the floor and he was a stinky kid. But she finally got him trained with some clever use of food. Chores were done BEFORE eating. That one worked.

CHAPTER 4: PASSING THE TORCH - BOLERO GAINS HIS SPURS:

The second day in the new digs Jess was over helping Slim settle in some of the heavier items and arranging Elroy's heavy log furniture they inherited with the house. They were in the living room where Slim was directing, well, carrying out Josie's instructions. Jess was following Slim and Josie was in and out supervising while unpacking small lighter weight items. There were several rooms being set up receiving unpacked placements and unwrapping wedding gifts. Sara was helping Daisy set up the kitchen according to Josie's left hand preferences and they were constantly laughing because everything Josie had them re-arrange was backwards from where they'd have put them because she is left handed.

"We get this done I want to go find Jed. Didn't see him around yesterday on the moving. Figured he was on horse duty at his um….age." Jess commented while adjusting his end of the sofa with his knee to where Slim pointed but nudged it an inch closer to the fireplace.

"Ya, didn't see him either. You two were quite a pair on that 4th of July picnic, though. Him on the jaw harp, you on spoons. Was quite good. Missed that on the wedding reception when you finagled us out." Slim matched Jess' move inching the sofa more forward.

"You had your mouth organ going on the 4th, too, Slim. Loved sitting around the fire that night listening to him tell stories about the old days when he was a pup. Dadgum, what a treasure of knowledge he's got in that head. I could listen to him talk all day." Jess was in a dreamy mode talking about the old cowboy and moved his end closer to the fireplace again. "Seen him handle some of the horses, can tell in his early days he was a master horseman. Would've gave anything to see him ride."

"You two seemed pretty close that whole day." Slim moved his end to match Jess' move. It was a common problem because one complete side of the room was floor to ceiling window, another side was a full, huge fireplace, the third side was open to the front entry and behind that the kitchen, and the fourth wall headed down the wing with the four bedrooms. None of the furniture butted up to walls and were free standing and the living room sat cockeyed to the points of the compass and the rest of the ranch's buildings. So it was hard to tell what was squared up to what thus the men were seeing things differently because they were looking at opposite walls.

"Ya, kinda felt like the grandfather I never had, Slim. Never much missed not having one till that evening…" he shoved his end further..… "..felt how it could be. I'm really looking forward to get to know him better now we're down here." Jess' eyes were happy and soft, not really caring or paying attention to what was "Slim's living room design." He was just available muscle.

Josie came walking through on her way to another room with her arms loaded with towels, paused and looked at their progress, frowned and then waved at the couch they were moving.

"No, no…sofa's too close to the fireplace. Needs to come back at least 2 feet. Coffee table'd be too close to the fireplace." And she left the room without waiting… "burn up the coffee table… lift it men so's you don't scratch the floor…..." Her voice trailed down the hall behind her. Slim and Jess just looked at each other. It was a stone floor and the rugs weren't down yet. Log furniture doesn't mark stone floors…..does it?

"You know she's rearranged this living room 3 times now." Jess complained.

Slim nodded with a big smile and they reached down and pushed the couch back to where they'd started.

"Never underestimate…(umph) …. the confusion …. (umph)…of a nesting mother." Slim voice was pinched by the effort moving the heavy piece of log furniture and he made a frustrated face and they both shook their heads and laughed. Slim rubbed the end of his nose and sniffed back a sneeze threatening him from the dust they were stirring up. "You should see our bedroom, Jess!" He chucked lightly and then the sneeze escaped. "She's STILL moving stuff in there….well, having ME move stuff." It was just a light sneeze and he snuffed and kept talking. "Joe told us all about the day you rehabilitated Bolero. Wish I'd have been there to see that, too. The hands said the fire near tore Jed up, but he was back after you fixed Bolero. Joe said ol' Jed was just mesmerized watching you with that stud and it had put Jed back on his happy side. Said Jed even commented wanting to adopt you as a grandson, so the idea is mutual."

"Is that right? Now that would be an honor." Jess was pleasantly stunned and honored and it froze him in place for a few seconds, then he offered pointing to another piece of furniture if that one was next.

"Ya, that one's next, she says it goes over there." Slim pointed. Jess picked up a small knitted afghan draped over the piece, wadded it in a ball and tossed it into the seat area so they could get a good grab.

Joe entered the room carrying a small slightly beat up box about the size of a woman's shoe box. "I thought I saw Jess come in up here and Mrs. Sherman said you both were in here and to go right in, so I came right in."

Slim waved him in. "Ya, sure, Joe. What's going on out there?"

Joe continued, "Men are unpacking the wagons carrying your tack and tools. I don't really know about social protocols much and what's right or wrong, so I hope I do this right. I also don't know a good time to do this, just didn't want to do it yesterday on your first day here."

Slim and Jess stopped to look at him and waved him to sit down and the three took a break and sat on the half arranged sofa and chairs. Slim sniffed again and finally gave up and pulled out his extra bandana and blew his nose.

"Best way I know, Joe, just come out with it. 'at's how I handle things." Slim directed while jamming his bandana into his hip pocket.

"Well, ol' Jed came up to me after that hoedown we had on the fourth and folks had turned in. Gave me this box. Said if anything was ever to happen to him, I was to give it to Jess. 'Sides his saddle that burnt up in the fire, a few old clothes, it was the only thing that he owned. He said Jess would know why."

Jess' heart instantly sank and he groaned an unformed "dadgum" or some such similar sound under his breath shaking his head to the side realizing Joe was talking past tense, fulfilling a dead man's wish. He looked down and then away from the two men's sight and grimaced. Slim felt Jess sag and quickly looked his direction.

"We a… missed Jed one morning, late August. Old as he was still beat everyone out of bed in the mornings. But the men found him just outside Bolero's stall looked like he was sleeping on the floor…. he..um….had passed. Quiet, very peaceful like. He'd got Bolero's oat bucket down in the stall but Bo wasn't eating, was pawing at the door but ….Ya know, he seemed happy the night before… still talking about watching Jess handle Bolero and the hoe down on the 4th. Nobody really knew how old he was, had no family, been on this ranch longer than anyone's memory, 'xcept maybe Elroy. Bet he had to be in his 80s, he said he'd lost count. So this, I guess, needs to go to you, Jess, 'fore it gets lost in the bunkhouse."

He reached the box to hand it to Jess who just stared at it not wanting to take it. Joe's arm got tired of holding it and began to waver and Jess finally took the box but he slumped back slouched into the side chair holding it on his knee with one of his huge mitts. His other hand was over his mouth and stared away from both men looking out the large floor to ceiling window at the ranch where Bolero was entertaining his self playing with some dirt clod on the ground in the circle arena- his daycare playpen.

"What did you do with his…?" Slim asked softly looking at Joe but keeping an eye on Jess. "Said he had no family." Slim looked the direction Jess was and saw he was watching the stud and had very watery eyes – another chance at a close family relationship, especially an older male role model was just ripped from his heart. No father role or uncles, now no grandfather not even adopted, older brothers were worthless and dead or even younger brothers …..Slim's heart ached for Jess. At least Slim had a great dad, younger brother, one aunt and two uncles. He even remembered his grandfathers on both sides even though they both passed before Andy was born. But Jess had none and Gil was such a….he didn't qualify.

"Ya, the ranch has a ah you know… a small cemetery just at the end of the complex, little white picket fence. Elroy set it up for staff who died while employed here who had no money or family. Only three of them in there. We built a box, put him and his few things and the cot he slept on in the corner and the parson came out and said the words. Jed always wanted to sit at the corners of whatever table so we thought he'd be happiest there. Rip whittled out a cross with his name on it. Chuck and Maggie were off in Denver that week. I um… hope I did the right thing."

"You did fine, Joe. Appreciate you taking care of things. 'At's exactly what I'd have done."

Jess was still lost and with moist eyes was sinking fast and both Joe and Slim read it. A true grandfather of kindred spirit Jess had never even dreamed of having and then getting just a tiny sample, now gone forever.

"Thank you, Sir. I need to um….get back to the men. Keep them fired up. They are sure one happy bunch of cowboys, Mr. Sherman, with you and the Mrs. as new owners. Every night since finding out it comes up at chow how happy they are, then you getting Leroy closer to his kin in your other house. He's real close to his ma and her not …doing well." Joe became uncomfortable seeing Jess withdraw and felt he needed to exit.

"It's Slim, Joe. And Josie. We're very happy to be here, too. This is a great set of wranglers. I'll see you out." Slim motioned to him and followed him to the door and just outside the door out of Jess' sight and hearing Joe stopped.

"Is he gunna be ok?" Joe asked barely above a whisper waving back in Jess' direction. "I didn't mean to…"

"He lives things at a deep level, Joe and he was looking forward to knowing Jed. I tell you what. Go take Bolero in like its feeding time only put Jess' saddle on him and make it real tight. Saddle Buck for me and send runners over to Jr and have him mount up some hands and get Chuck and Maggie over here. We're gunna hog-tie Jess and put him on Bolero and let the two of them work this out … best way I know to reach Jess before he sinks too deep. Ok? When you're ready, bring some men up here and we'll grab Jess and meet you and Bolero back in the arena."

Joe lit up with a huge smile. "Got it, Boss! Give me 5 minutes!" He ran back to the barn. Well, toddled is the top speed in boots and bowed legs.

Coming back in the house Slim rounded Josie, Sarabeth, Daisy and Mike up in the back of the kitchen and briefed them on what had happened and what he was about to do. By then Joe was back with 5 men still set on "eager" mode from the move the day before. While they all waited in the entry, Slim went back into the living room where Jess was sitting forward leaning on his knees and the box was open on the coffee table in front of him. Inside the box enfolded in a clean but tattered rag was an old pair of tarnished silver spurs with beat up leather straps that would fall apart if you touched them. The silver part of the spurs had been engraved at one time, but they were so used it was impossible to tell what was engraved and what was scarred from action.

"His old spurs, huh? Why you?" Slim asked softly leaning over and lifting the rag to peer at the spurs.

"Passing the torch, Slim. You should see that." Jess' voice was especially raspy and at first had started to block Slim's reach but then seeing Slim was moving reverently Jess backed away and Slim peeked under the rag.

"Ya, I do. Quite an honor, Jess, him to give you his spurs. Never seen spurs that old before."

"Like as not belonged to his pa." Jess' voice was getting soft and cracking.

So, let's put this ranch's torch back in the air, Slingshot!" Slim popped Jess on the back lightly.

"Not today, Slim." Jess sniffed quietly brushing his thumb across the bottom of his nose and then with a lightly trembling hand tenderly repacked the spurs in the old cloth. He closed the box back up as though touching something fragile and with extreme reverence like a priest touching a prayer shawl. He was busy planning as his fancy handgun that had been stored in Slim's fireplace had been moved to his new bedroom and placed next to the little basket holding his mother's locket. That was where these spurs would go but Jess wanted to make a better box for them. Something more fitting their value and his mind was already working on a matching piece to his stump safe holding up the current crate of his stash of clove-flavored peach preserves. Jess never owned furniture before and his current additions seemed to be matched to each other as he built them.

Slim reached down to grab Jess' hand and Jess irritably jerked his hand away retreating further into a dark mood. Slim grabbed him harder by his shirt lapels hauling him to his feet and yep! …the infamous short fused temper immediately fired! Jess instantaneously had his balance ready to tackle Slim in a fist fight but instead pulled up and just pushed Slim back. Slim expected some resistance but he was not at all set for a fight and the force sent him reeling against the furniture falling across the seat of the sofa. Josie's hands went to her mouth – seeing her two favorite men starting into each other which she'd never seen before. She started forward toward the two men but Daisy grabbed ahold of the 5 month pregnant woman and patted Josie's arm in reassurance and Josie hung on. Slim quickly initiated his pre-determined Plan B and waved to the waiting men and they ran into the room, jumped on Jess from behind and his sides. Jess pulled loose of the first three men and by then they quickly wised up and went for Jess all at the same time. That worked better. Wiggling like a wooly worm and snorting like the stud he is, they captured Jess and elevated him in the air carrying him on his back with his feet first kicking through the door Mike opened. It took all 6 men and all 12 hand holds crammed full of purpose to get the squirming and spewing Jess carried over their heads to the corral just as the DKBS folks arrived out of breath and joined the other women who followed the procession to the corral. They were not walking either. They were jogging. Bolero was all saddled and back in his playpen looking for a new dirt clod and saw the crowd approaching. He lit up happy to have some human entertainment show up in his world and he caught wind of Jess' scent and neighed. Still kicking and repeatedly screaming, "PUT ME DOWN!" paired with a generous portion of "DADGUMs" and "DAGGONE IT!s" the cowboys handed Jess over the top of the corral to another set of 5 men who promptly deposited, well nearly tossed, the fuming dark wavy hair, blue eyed, fire breathing cowboy astride the saddle of the dancing stud who was delighted and ready to play. The cowboy holding the stud's reins tossed them up to Jess and everyone ran from the corral either jumping it or slithering through the rails like they'd seen a lit fuse on a stick of dynamite, which they had. Jess instantly had his hands full trying to hold the stud under control pulling him in a circle beginning with the one and only rein he grabbed while trying to get his boots into the stirrups trying to stay on top the horse and not get thrown and trampled to death. His shirt was half pulled from his britches and the top buttons were loose from the manhandling. Had Bolero stayed at a stand he would have jumped off the horse and been all over Slim for shanghaiing him like that.

"DADGUMMIT, SL…. SSHER….MAN! I'M GUNNA…" Somehow he saw and latched onto the second rein that came flying mid-air, probably kicked back into the air by Bolero's dancing.

"Ok, Jess. You fixed this stallion and put him back on the planet. Let's just see you prove it!" Slim yelled from his place of safety on the other side of the fence but standing on the lowest rail and waving his hand in the air. Slim's face was lit up, blue eyes sparkling like diamonds in sunlight and smiling big. Josie was loading Slim's jacket over his shoulders and putting her own on at the same time. Slim was, by now, a master at knowing where to put spurs into Jess' sides. And it worked. Six years living with this stick of dynamite had taught Slim a thing or two about Harper tempers and flash points…probably no one alive could do it better by now. Slim shot a big reassuring smile to Chuck, Maggie and Sara waving them closer, they inched closer pensively as did Jr on his stud and about a dozen of his mounted wranglers.

For the next solid 10 minutes,… well some amount of time, nobody had a watch….. Jess and Bolero became one unit and while everyone watched breathless and some fighting tears, cowboy and stallion performed one of THE smartest mixed western and eastern dressage exhibitions of pure dance and precision after the style of the old Vaquero horsemanship found further south in Texas. You could not see space between them, both bodies lined in perfect unison and posture, Bolero's ears fully forward, soft in the pole, a quiet bit, eagerly listening to his rider's cues. Bolero was a dadgum showboat who doted on, no lived for, being the center of attention is what it was and he knew and ate up being the center of the human kind of attention. It's all he'd known since Kensie had, er…since his mare had dropped him. Bolero's mouth was in full contact with the bit but he wasn't straining against it in control or argument, no sign of bucking, just responsive even seeking to any slight movement on the reins added to leg pressure on his ribs to tell him what to do. Jess' full attention went to the stallion, reading him, moving him to his fullest extension or gathered up in a soft control with his hands low at the withers, effortlessly changing the stallion's leads without seeing any perceptible rider movement or cue. Even more amazing, Jess was not wearing any spurs, chaps or gloves and really didn't need them.

Slim looked at Josie to get a reading of her twin-empathy. Slim, if you've noticed, is no dummy. She had her eyes glued to the pair, her clenched fists on her cheeks constantly wiping a steady stream of tears of joy and awe while watching every move of her twin in full mastery of this gorgeous black stallion. They were putting out a performance she could have only dreamed of doing and only after years of training and practice on any given horse. There was no pull or stress coming off of Jess' body, he simply looked like he was floating. Indeed, unknown to her mind, her twin empathy was right there on the saddle inside Jess' body WITH him. For the first time in her life, Josie was seeing the pure heart and soul of her twin brother in the element he was born to, not where he'd been dumped or forced to survive by gun fighting or brawling. He was added to her favorite species of animal and tears of approval and pride were just streaming down her cheeks. Every stroke wiping away happy tears was done with hands quivering in excitement and tears of happiness. Slim smiled ever so softly affirming his decision having been correct and without diverting his attention he untied his neck bandana and handed it over to her jamming it into her fist. Women never had a tear mop on them. Sarabeth and Maggie wasn't far behind Josie in their emotions finally seeing Jess in full health in an apparent effortless horse performance and Chuck and Jr's buttons were just purely popping buttons off their jackets and they were grinning ear to ear and whapping each other in the back and pointing.

All the hands were mesmerized at watching such a dance coming from a western horse wondering just where on earth Jess was pulling this out of a stud whom they knew to be only a spoiled and pampered boy horse who was mostly barn sour excepting when they brought the pretty smelling mares around. Nobody smoked either. The longer into the 10 whatever minutes the more solid the movements became, still without strain and still holding this stallion at the top of his hooves barely touching the ground, tail arched. He'd do a strong collected trot for one looped circle, then extend the horse's gait into a suspended trot through another circle, then pull him down gathered into a suspended lope change his lead and go the other way and they just kept making these beautiful circles and figure 8s at different gaits and changing leads. Then Jess put him through a Quarter Horse reining routine making ¾ loops in the arena with 360 spins on one planted rear hoof combined with skid stops plowing two perfect grooves to a stop and turn around. Bolero was clueless what it all meant, he'd never been to a horse show or dressage event, he was just responding to his cues and pressure points and enjoying being the center of attention as a pure athlete. Jess hadn't been to a show either, but as a boy growing up he'd spent hours studying the old Vaqueros, like Jed, in Texas practicing control and movement with their mounts. He had completely tuned out the entire world except the horse and was simply asking Bolero for the same and guiding Bolero's responses even more tuned and cooing to him softly. It was just pure beauty, an athletic response to his rider's combined cues and both of them having a dadgum blast speaking the same language. The more Jess saw and felt Bolero's quick natural athletic responses, his face would relax and the more he focused his ask, lost deep inside the communication with this gaited pure athlete. Bolero was in full flight and Jess was riding the wind in perfect upright posture without any jolting or jerking to force the animal and not a millimeter of space between him and any part of the saddle. Slim tried to get a close look at Jess' face as he went by each time, but Jess was locked as one into the spirit of the fancy stallion and cooing to him in his deep voice with cues and comfort. His eyebrows were not even arched. This was not a raw horse needing to be broke to ride which was Jess' normal work and all Slim had ever seen Jess do "working a horse." This horse wanted the exercise and challenge of his ability and Jess' blue eyes were fully lit enjoying the life energy being given him and still reading the stud seeing the degree of response this horse would give from his heart. Bolero wasn't even lathered, even thrilled to finally have someone even dare think about challenging his athletic abilities long buried in his DNA genes from ancestors mixing Friesian, Quarter Horse and Thoroughbred lineages. Slim's eyes were glowing and wet, his head shaking side to side in respect and appreciation to the beauty coming off the pair. He'd seen Jess break horses to ride which is a fight to survive and overcome the will of another animal, but had never seen communication this matched between two alpha males not fighting each other but working in unison. Jess was not exuding energy fighting with, his seat was quietly centered directing energy focused in production, reading and gathering the response coming in from the animal and rechanneling it into a finer focused response, a smoother lead change, a quicker pivot, a faster stop. All the intensity from inside Jess' body and spirit that Slim had seen in gunfights and hand fights was now being channeled into creative beauty of an equine athlete being brought to his potential under controlled obedience eagerly doing exactly what his rider needed as if both their lives depended on their union. It's the DNA of the Friesian lineage in war time being a part of his soldier-rider anticipating the next life saving maneuver. Slim's smile gradually faded to awe just simply shaking his head slowly side to side. One more quick look at Josie and she was solidly crying in tears of admiration and love and hell would freeze over before she'd drop her gaze or close her eyes or look away, her brain capturing and memorizing every micro-second in memory.

FINALLY, Jess slowed the stud to a normal collected trot for half a circle then walked him the other half bringing him to a full stop at the farthest corner. Bolero snorted in delight, softly released his jaw and snapped his tail wanting more, his brain was fully engaged, eyes wide open finally understanding there was more to this life than oats, mares and dirt clods in his playpen. He'd learned he could dance.

Sarabeth murmured through her tears, "Bolero has found his purpose and Jess has just led him there."

Jess patted the withers softly still cooing and Bolero stomped his front hoof into the ground, extended his neck, raised his nose in the air drawing a circle in the air, bellowed a stallion challenge that could be heard a county away, then shook his head releasing energy and returned to a quiet, perfectly balanced show stand. Jess smiled a half smile on one side and patted the stud on the withers again in understanding the pent up zeal for life long buried and burning deeply within this five year old stud having been made to stand his whole life all day in a pole arena or box stall bored outta his skin. This was a full grown alpha stallion who by nature in the wild would have a huge herd of nice mares with foals on the ground and territorial owner of several counties. Slim shot another glance at Josie and her eyebrows went up reading something in Jess and she was nodding vigorously at what she saw him thinking. Her eyes were shining the brightest he'd seen since the honeymoon seeing something truly remarkable in her brother finally in full health lost in being one with her gorgeous new horse. Her hands were gathered under her chin anticipating something was next. Slim looked back at Jess quickly and saw it too.

"Mount up, men. This is it!" Slim whipped around and jumped aboard Buck without stirrups and held him waiting. Half the wrangler staff saw Slim's mount and their jaws dropped open suspending their move for several moments, then they hurried to mount. A good number of them missed their stirrup on the first try. Still, nobody had been smoking.

Just after all hands had settled in their saddles like one unit in perfect unison similar to a Calvary unit mounting readying a charge, Jess had collected the reins but now settled deeply into the saddle, gathered Bolero and gave him just ever so slight a nudge in the ribs. The stallion's bum dropped a full 8 inches and he shot forward from a standing stop immediately within two strides into a full gallop headed for the far corner of his playpen that led down the lane that circled the complex like a race track in its almost one mile length laps. Jess held him measured in stride timing the leap. Oh! They were headed counter clockwise…..if that matters for those of you mounted on your steeds in your head whilst reading this…we're going - way.

"Oh dadgum!" Slim gasped for air as his forehead raised and being at the opposite end of the corral he took off outside the arena wondering if he'd ever catch up on his own prized stud quarter horse.

Ahead of everyone else Jess and Bolero reached the corner of the pole arena and as one unit flew over it with still one pole space to spare, landing in stride and took off at a full gallop that would put a Thoroughbred in tears. The entire cow hand staff of both ranches raised a combined yell of excited pride and the race parade commenced behind Slim and Jess trying to catch them. People not mounted pulled buggies and harnessed horses off the lane that led around the complex cleared the path and the race was on as everyone tried to catch Bolero. It was not possible. The winged Pegasus his self could not have caught Bolero on this afternoon. The closest anyone ever came was Slim on Buck, but a Quarter Horse is a sprinter, the first quarter of mile is his fastest and is his endurance, thus the work with cattle. Buck got within one length but Slim felt him lose that energy edge and pulled him in behind Bolero not wanting to break his own horse's wind. Jess was crouched low over Bolero's withers and into his mane like a jockey and led the race through 3 laps leaving everyone in their dust. Each lap Bolero seemed lower to the ground and cruising on air. On the last 3/4s of the 3rd lap, Jess pulled the now lightly lathered Bolero into a nice canter then a collected trot and finally by the end of the lap they were in a brisk fluid walk when everyone else finally began to catch up still whooping and yelling in excited delight. Jess made the end corner of the lap while the others all peeled off in all directions so to not run up behind the leader. All of them were whooping and hollering in glee. They'd NEVER had this much fun under Elroy's reign and were all quite wide awake. Moving in new owners one day, a horse match the next….what more could a cowboy want? It was wrangler heaven.

Josie, Maggie, Chuck and Sarabeth looked at each other quickly then back to Jess and to Slim who caught up to Jess first. Then they watched Jess who did not stop but he walked Bolero passed them and down the length of the path where he'd found the white picket fenced cemetery and stopped Bolero at the fence. The hands had started to gather back up and follow but Slim saw where Jess was headed and held his hand up in the air stopping them and he climbed down off of Buck. Joe saw it too, dismounted and took Buck's reins in his other hand and the other cowboys began to dismount and walk their horses to cool them, all quietly chattering amongst themselves. It was a repetitive mumbled passed through their midst about a new life had come to the ranch and they weren't going to miss one second of it behind this new tall, blond mountain man, and did they see Slim's mount? And where on earth did Jess find all that in that black? They'd work here for free…..almost. It was a full five minutes before anyone finally reached for a smoke. Sarabeth was still leaking tears and tentatively started to walk down the lane to go to Jess, but she had to pass Slim and he saw her and put his arm out stopping her with a light shake of his head.

"He needs the space, Sarabeth. He'll be back. Just wait here." Slim's voice was soft and reassuring.

She looked pensively up at him to read his face, then stood in place her hands at her mouth and watched Jess as did Chuck, Maggie, and Josie. Smiling at each other and nodding unsurprised with Jess' performance, Daisy took Mike back inside because food was on the stove and they had not grabbed coats.

Jess dismounted five feet away from Jed's fresh grave and with Bolero's muzzle in his back and a loose rein in his hand behind one hip he walked outside the fence to the corner of the little cemetery with the fresh heap of dirt waiting for next summer's grass and stood hunched leaning his weight back on one leg for several minutes. Then probably 5 minutes later he straightened back up, turned and released the tension on the cinch and slowly walked Bolero back to the pole arena cooling him down. His hand was still loose on the rein and Bolero was walking at his elbow like a puppy sometimes pushing his forehead into Jess' shoulder. Before they reached Bolero's playpen in the arena, Jess stopped and ran his hand down each of Bolero's legs checking for heat or a flinch and Bolero just nuzzled Jess' hair as though he'd found a new best friend to play with. Jess returned to his walk with Bolero following on a slack rein and came straight up to Slim who was standing just inches away from the inner circle of family. Jess' face was peaceful again, had been wet around the eyes from something either tears or wind, and his breathing was easy. With a steady, near gunfight eye contact, Jess walked to 18" of Slim's chest and standing on level ground to him held out the rein palm up. Chuck inched closer – a nuclear bomb could not have moved him from what he wanted to see. Three nuclear…couldn't…. you know what I mean.

"THIS is your foundation stud. It's what he was born to be." It was Jess' deep voice.

Slim furrowed his chin at first thinking Jess was referring to his self as Slim saw a foundation human stud doing what he was born to be. Then understanding Jess was talking about the horse he lightly shook his head no. "No, Jess. He's yours."

"Your ranch. Your stallion." Jess' voice was deep and raspy, his eye contact never wavered.

"He may be papered to this ranch, Jess, but he's all yours inside. I could never get anything close to that out of this stud's heart. So, now he's yours. My gift to you. Just let me cover Josie's two Morgans this spring, or until we get a stud. That will be our foundation and will have her Morgan blood."

Joe walked up softly then slowly, even reverently hesitatingly holding out his hand for the reins offering to take Bolero in but was looking in Jess' face to see how he was doing. Jess looked down at the offered hand, then up to Joe's face seeing him trying to read him and unused to having someone else put his horse up, he reluctantly held the reins.

"Thanks, Joe. You have a saddle with a wider tree?" Jess asked quietly.

"No, Sir." Was the soft reply full of reverence.

"Wider?" Slim asked quietly.

"His papers would be interesting. Sarabeth said Kensie handpicked his lineage. From his action and build he's got Friesian blood. Vaqueros back in Texas used to talk about Spaniards crossing their Andalusians with Friesians to thin them down from draft size as war horses and put some cow sense into them. They'd have strength and endurance from the Friesian war horse and cattle sense from Andalusian. They got them over here and started adding the Quarter Horse for quickness and then some Thoroughbred speed and endurance. She had an interesting idea as to building a pedigree for cattle ranching." Jess looked at Joe. "You get a stampede he's the one you put out front to get ahead and turn them. He's got the speed and the wind to out run and out last any steer, yet smart enough to stay outta horns. On a proper track or stretch of range, he'da let it out to his last notch, but I'd already worked him and the lap here is too tight so I didn't push." Looking back at Slim, "But the bones at the base of his back is broader from the Friesian, especially at the withers…he'd be more comfortable with a wider tree." Jess looked down glancing at Bolero's hoof finding the stud had planted his hoof at the toe of his boot as though careful to not step on him. "Coulda broke my saddle had I been heavier." The Jess looked up a Joe. "Walk him down a bit more then grain him good for me, Joe, he earned it." Jess offered the reins.

"I never seen ridin' like that. Jed've been proud to see that, Jess." Joe's voice was soft, trying to be encouraging to a man new to him but one who was garnering deep respect in a might short time and brought his hands back up and slowly accepted the reins from underneath Jess' hand.

"He saw it, Joe." Jess looked Joe in the eyes and Joe couldn't look away caught in that gunfight lock only Jess' blues were changing now to a soft, deep teal as dusk was settling. Then to both men Jess offered,

"Jed's spurs are custom made Vaqueros, and they're old enough could have belonged to his pa before him. Date made's been worn off. That was use, not storage that put them in that condition. Daggone, if spurs could only talk…" his voice trailed off and he grimaced looking out into the settling night.

Joe nodded. "Yes sir. I'll tuck him in good." Jess patted Bolero on the withers and watched as he was led away and Bolero swished his tail brushing Jess' back. Lanterns were popping on one by one in the barn.

Slim slapped Jess lightly on the back coming alongside him turning him to head to the house.

"I'd like to hear about the Vaquero sometime, Jess. I've heard back when I was a kid that a long time ago they were master horsemen. Didn't know you knew any."

"Was just a kid….was a group nearby ….sorta took me in …. get away with'em when my pa was home…" his voice trailed off as a herd of human mares rushed up. Slim's chin went up now understanding why Jess and Jed had been drawn to each other.

All three ladies ran up to Jess still fighting tears over the exhibition and Slim stepped back allowing the ladies to encircle Jess and Jess met each one's gaze. They almost spoke all at the same time.

"Beautiful, Jess. Pure beauty- far cry from that equestrian cowboy broken up by a buckboard not so long ago worried he'd never ride again. Remember him?" Maggie offered first from a quiet reverent voice seeking Jess' eye contact.

Jess smiled softly at her with the memory she pulled up when she was trying to encourage him over his frustration being laid up after the buckboard incident on his first visit an eon ago.

"Ya, I do, you were right, Mom." His voice was deep and quiet.

Josie grabbed Jess' forearm and wiggled it while she pointed to him with the other and looking at the group. Her eyes were wide as her smile boasting,

" 'At's my TWIN! Can he ride or what!?" Then she turned and drew a laser beam on him in respect. "I didn't know you could ride like that, Jess. I was never that good in the ring."

Slim smiled because that was the first time he'd ever heard Josie admit a second place to anything and she did it now without shame, even full of pride.

Sarabeth was stuck in front of Jess face to face and looked softly but directly into his eyes and he saw her hesitate and waited curious what was going on in her brain.

"You showed him his purpose." Her face was full of wonderment and her voice was barely above a whisper, tears starting to brim again.

He shook his head slightly in pleasure seeing her enlightenment taking hold from his speech many moons earlier that year at New Year's talk about college. "He could feel his purpose, Sara, I just gave him direction so he could release what was inside him."

Chuck was standing behind everyone watching and beaming in all smiles with his thumbs stuck in his suspenders rocking back and forth on his heels and toes. Slim gestured gathering everyone up to leave so Jess and Sarabeth could be alone and the group slowly walked back to the house. Chuck offered Maggie his elbow heading back to their house.

"They'll be talking all night in the bunkhouse about that Mother. Quite a opening for Slim and Josie's new ranch, I'd say." Chuck muttered as they disappeared. Maggie looked up with glistening eyes at her husband and he leaned over and kissed her squarely on the lips.

And Slim gathered Josie, wrapping his arm and half his body around her frame as the evening cold was settling in fast and Josie reached up to offer Slim a kiss which he eagerly accepted as they headed into the house.

"I've never met anyone like you, Jess." Sarabeth softly stated in adoration.

Jess half chuckled and looked down, "Ya, I hear that a lot."

He started to reach for her elbow to escort her to the house, too, but she stood into his chest, gathered his face in her hands and reached up planting a very passionate kiss on his lips. It surprised him slightly but he wrapped his arms around her waist and they shared another, deep, long, everlasting, lengthy, prolonged…. still don't have a stop watch….and it was getting October cold outside in a big hurry so I followed Slim's group. Jess and Sarabeth musta got cold too, 'cause they came in right behind me. It cools off fast in Wyoming winters after dusk sets in….brrrr!

Jess and Slim finished arranging the living room furniture and Sarabeth left to go home and do some of her own unpacking and settling in from college. Supper was an hour and half later and Jess had been invited to stay for supper at Slim's that evening in return for moving furniture. It was late night and way past dark-thirty when Jess arrived at the Wentworths carrying his shoe box gift and they were all still up and waiting for him with the dessert. Even Sasha was waiting on the sofa and was the only one who could ever hear his footsteps coming before he opened the door unannounced and walked his self inside. Out of nowhere she sat up, woofed softly jumped off the sofa and whilst sitting at the door wagging her tail, the minute the door cracked open she jumped all over him.

October and November disappeared about as fast as the rest of the year. Slim and Josie kept unpacking and unpacking from the move, then they found another stash of wedding gifts that had been unwrapped and thank you notes had been sent but were still in boxes and needed to be incorporated into the household. Baby gifts were starting to arrive early and Josie's nesting hormones began driving the males crazy but they were happy crazy times. Daisy and the former house maid and cook now living with Jr's family prepared a huge Thanksgiving dinner for the hands and had it ready to serve in the bunkhouse while Maggie, Sarabeth and Ada worked on the DKBS staff dinner for their bunkhouse plus dinner for the three families. Maggie additionally smoked a humongous turkey and one ham for the main house where Slim's household joined the Wentworth household for a Thanksgiving eve, Day and the big day's eve all at the DKBS so Josie could get off her feet. Jerry stayed with his family on the east coast for the entire holiday with a new baby not having enough money to travel home and have holiday festivities and, while the parents were hurt not getting to see or meet the new grandbaby, no one really missed their group. With Kera left sleeping with a nanny Jr's family came for the main dinner midday on Thanksgiving bringing 5 kinds of desserts and two vegetables. The kitchen island and the buffet in the dining room was packed with food and seating overflowed onto the kitchen bay window table for the kids and the main table had 4 leaf inserts to its longest capacity. It began snowing midday setting the mood for the hoped white Christmas and everyone sat around the fireplace after the big meal sipping brandy or hot chocolate and sharing what a full year it had been and what new things they'd learned or experienced. They also shared what they were most thankful for and ended around 9 pm with a sing a long.

The week before Christmas it was very cold outside and the 20 inch snow pack was a week old. Slim himself arranged and organized a parade of hay wagons combining all the staff together for a tour of back areas of both ranches purposefully stopping at some neighbor's houses for a short demonstration of caroling havoc. Hay rides was something of fond memories from his past growing up years that he wanted to re-instigate in his new life with tons of new friends. So they loaded up and all sang Christmas carols, or in the case of some of the cowboys, howled. Then they regathered at a huge bon fire in the middle arena which was so used it was nothing but dirt and roasted chestnuts and marshmallows just before another snow squall came through. Somewhere in the crowd, suspected to have been started by Jess although it was never proven, a hay fight started between two hay wagons and everyone ended up rolling and fighting in the hay that ejected off the wagons and laughing so hard their sides were hurting. All except Josie who had been "elected" marshmallow queen and gifted a scepter of a stick filled with marshmallows to oversee and keep the peace from her throne room of the cleanest buckboard. Jess and Sarabeth ended up lost in the middle of a big stack of hay and were missing in action for several minutes until Slim tripped over Jess' boot hanging out at the bottom and he fell into them. It didn't take long until everyone was frozen and they had a "snow dance" to put the bon fire out, dumping dirt and old snow ice chips on the fire until it was pronounced dead and buried and had pulled all the good hay back away. Then everyone retreated indoors to their fireplaces to pick straw out of their hair and other folds and creases that started to itch mercilessly. The snow began in earnest almost to blizzard strength just as they were finishing and blanketed the area with a good 9 inches of fresh crystallized snow diamonds by morning.

The actual Christmas festivities would take a whole other chapter to describe the parties and formal caroling events with the little church dinner getting to know the locals and Sarabeth wore her finished knitted scarf to each one. For Christmas it was decided to have two gift exchanges. The gifts "to" a member living in the Sherman house were opened after a ham dinner on Christmas Eve at their fireplace. Gifts "to" members living with the Wentworth house were opened on Christmas day before the big sit down smoked turkey dinner hosted by Maggie and Sarabeth. Both homes were decked to the gills in Christmas folly. Jess, Slim and Mike were "volunteered" and directed by Daisy and Josie in decorating the Sherman house while Jess, Sara and Maggie did the Wentworth house. Josie and Slim didn't have a lot of Christmas decorations yet but Maggie had tons from years of entertaining and several box loads managed to show up at the Sherman house from.. eh hem… somewhere was seen a little elf with blue eyes and dark wavy hair who sometimes wore his pant legs inside his tall boots and wore high and tight britches needing a belt to hold them on over non-existent hips…..

CHAPTER 5: Jess' Christmas Presents

On Christmas morning everyone was still sleeping in late except Maggie who was always up with the dawn no matter what day or what was on the schedule. She was simply a morning bird and was in the kitchen humming Christmas tunes and chopping veggies for the turkey stuffing that would be put in the oven just before gift time. She'd finished the veggies and had sat down in her bay window kitchen table watching a light snow with huge flakes slowly drifting down in slow motion against a thin overcast. It was a picturesque snow that only freshened the dirty top of the last snow making everything pretty again. She had a cup of fresh flavored coffee and was working her other Christmas morning project, final baking and pulling Christmas fruit bread hot out of the oven and monitoring the churn working on a double tub of fresh homemade butter that would be needed for all the extra cooking and eating. The churn was Jr's high school senior science project where he'd hooked a standard churn handle up to a spinning wheel for yarn with a foldable pedal extension so someone could sit at the bay window table and pump the wheel and 5 feet away it would turn the handle on the butter churn….. or better known as 1865 multitasking and a "pre-historic sit down treadmill." It was handy as a nervous energy burner, or just to keep in shape and probably why Maggie was so fit for her age. She used it to make soured cream and buttermilk, too. Anyway, the decadent aroma of the Christmas fruit bread baking was of the type that filled the house and drove any normal human nutty to grab the closest piece and wolf it down.

Since the move, on weekend mornings where nothing was hot on the agenda and on holidays Jess had started into a new habit of making it out of bed before Sarabeth who tended to sleep late on those days like her father. It left Maggie and Jess stirring around the house by themselves. There had been no more "unbuckling" for Jess since the first 3 days of the year when the barn had burned. Jess would put his jeans on over his winter underwear he slept in and in his socks and with just the undershirt stand guard at the back door inside an enclosed back porch a foot away from where Sasha did her chores outside. She had a pre-designated protected 'potty spot' that was a medium sized fenced in area underneath a trimmed old pine tree with a layer of straw on the ground changed regularly by the same cowboy who monitored the front door for horse parking. On the other side of the tree and fenced area was the back of some utility type building Jess had yet to explore, but it left nothing to view for distractions and also served as a wind break. It had been built for full security for a small animal both from the weather and from predator. When it was cold outside he would add an open winter weight fuzzy robe over the undershirt and it would hang like a white tail coat. Since it was cold outside, generally snowy, and Sasha was always on the cold side by her lower metabolic setting, she never took long. If she disappeared during the day and they'd find her standing at that door, it meant she needed to take care of business and she'd do her job. If no one came, or not fast enough, she'd raise a ruckus at that door or come get someone. Paps are dedicated to "training their humans."

After Sasha's necessary trip they would toddle off to the very warm kitchen where he would find Maggie and varieties of fresh still hot from the oven homemade bread pastries and the hot coffee. More times than not there was a freshly opened jar of clove infused peach preserves potion on the table. Jess would have a morning scruff, uncombed hair and untucked undershirt would paddle into the kitchen in his flipper socked feet lead by his nose to the delicacies Maggie began leaving out in strategic locations like bread crumbs for a squirrel. Sure enough, he'd arrive with Sasha prancing at his feet generally herding him from behind by running circles around his feet. He'd go straight to the pertinent baked delicacy du jour where he'd lean over it and take deep sniffs and execute a close visual inspection often nibbling on large crumbs left in strategic locations leading him to the stash. Did I mention Maggie was an experienced mother who completely understood the nose workings of the male of the species? Then whilst watching it in case it moved, he'd put Sasha's food and fresh water down while cooing to and petting her back and then help himself to the morsels of temptations with his cup of Maggie's special east coast imported flavored fresh ground and roasted coffee. Between the aroma of fresh, hot pastry and hot flavored freshly brewed coffee, males had no chance, but in a loving and supportive way "meeting their needs." It had started to become a special time between the two, sometimes delving into deep conversations, or just talking about whatever was going on and Jess felt comfortable enough that sometimes he'd ask deep questions. Jess was feeling a little more festive this Christmas morning so with his coffee mug and a saucer dutifully piled high with several slices of the new treat being offered and having difficulty keeping his nose on leash from the fresh pastry, he flippered to the table putting them down. Then as he eased into the chair he slipped his arm around Maggie's shoulders and gave her a tender peck on the cheek being careful to not scrape her face with his scruff. It surprised and delighted Maggie and she instantly put her hand on her cheek capturing the smooch.

"Mornin', Mom. Merry Christmas!" was in his deep resonant coo and his eased charm oozed from the small, toothy smile.

"OH! You just gave me the best present ever!" her eyes were gathering moisture for a brief tumble over her lower lids.

"Aw, it's just a kiss." He chuckled lightly and took a sip of the coffee but it was too hot to drink and he made a face. Maggie's coffee…. was always perfect, never too strong or too weak, the water was always fresh, the fragrance titillated the nose sensors but it was always very hot (hotter than Daisy's) and had to be sipped. That delayed the initial slurp lead strongly by the nose needing to satisfy that first draw of caffeine. The sugar was some kind of unbleached tiny chucks of honey colored sweet, she said was natural sugars or sometimes honey, and her cream was real cream, not milk and it was always fresh. Sometimes the coffee was flavored, too, and Jess would try to guess the new flavor. Most often though, it was too new and she would give him a short story about where that flavor originated. Jess was never bored by Maggie's news, shared information or historical stories because she often said things that was new to him and he enjoyed learning and hearing about new things. And he missed his Ma who used to do the same thing, only she never had the fancy coffee or pastries and they generally chatted about his newest wild critter addition, such as lizards, frogs, rabbits, etc.

"Well that's special too, along with the other." She was still lightly rubbing her cheek. She was thrilled. She'd gotten a kiss, a Jess-chuckle and smile all in one morning. She loved hearing his laugh.

With one hand he rubbed his scruff checking it with a slight embarrassed look. "I know it's a little scratchy at this stage. Hope I didn't hurt you."

"Wha…? Oh, no, darlin', I'm used to fuzzy kisses. The other part."

Jess frowned lightly looking quizzically at her as he slathered fresh churned butter on the top piece of bread of his stacked saucer watching the butter instantly melt into the pores of the fresh,hot bread.

"What you called me, Jess. You've just made my Christmas!"

"Mom?"

She nodded warmly her eyes now twinkling and sparkling.

"It's a little forward of me, I hope it's ok."

"Sweetheart, I fell in love with you when your momma first showed you to me when you were born. I was thrilled for your momma, but jealous at the same time. You were just as handsome then. And I've loved you ever since as though you were from my own body. I'm so sad what happened with your family, especially Sarah, but when it did I just wanted to gather you up in my arms and adopt you to myself. I know I could never take her place in your life, but PLEASE feel free to call me that, or allow me to be your next ma."

"Dadgum, I never got no mother for Christmas before. When we reconnected a year or so ago I felt drawn to you much as you'd been her twin. I adored my Ma and maybe no one could ever take her place, but if anyone could come even close, it'd be you, Maggie. You are so much like her it's unreal. I've had to catch myself several times, just blurting out calling you "Mom" not wanting to be ….. preesump..tible."

She watched Jess take a huge bite and then talk with his mouth full.

"I wish I remembered you more from Texas but hard as I try all I pull up is remembering how close Ma was to you and that accent."

"Well you were barely 5 when Poppa moved us up here, so it's a wonder you remember anything. And she used to tease me all the time, too, about my accent. You know, she had a prankster streak in her. She kept it wrapped up inside pretty tight, but when the chance was there and your daddy was out of sight, she'd pull some doosies. She almost got the accent down, too." She looked down at her coffee and smiled to herself but Jess was gagging and she quickly looked back at him.

Jess had to slurp and catch juices that began pouring out of the corners of his mouth at the tastiness. "Wow! This is reaaalll..y good! You make this every Christmas?" He pointed at the bread with the knife still in his other hand and she nodded while smiling. He took another huge bite. He started picking out the little pieces of dried fruit off the saucer and tasting them solo. "What's these little…. ? They're sweet."

"That's dried fruit, they've been slightly dehydrated so they keep better. Putting them in the yeast bread and baking them restores their flavor and yet they stay a little chewy."

"Chewy is good." He spoke analytically gesturing with his now empty hand as though his fingers were munching. "I like chewy…. You know…gives a fella something to …munch. This bread seems sweeter, too."

"It is. It's a sweet bread dough and with the fruit it takes extra time to raise it several times so it doesn't get heavy."

" 'st's really good! Could eat this every day." Jess had the corner of another slathered slice going into his mouth.

"Well, it takes two days to make one batch, so that would be a full time job. That's why I only make it during the holiday. Last year was so rushed and full with Jerry's wedding I didn't have time to make it. You going to try it with the peach…?"

Jess either remembered or caught her suggestion at the same time and he was reaching for the peach preserves while chewing and smiled at Maggie. She smiled back.

"I dunno, Mom. I may eat myself into a stupor when I add the peach…."

He took a bite of the bread, properly anointed with melted-in butter and a good teaspoon full of the peach preserves and his mouth froze locking the combined flavor and he groaned. His jaws refused to move and he slid down in the chair leaning back almost sliding forward out of it like he was going to faint. He had to put the piece of bread down and snatch a folded napkin quickly to cover his mouth as the juices were turning into a waterfall. His eyes went wide and he got the jaws to unlock and finished chewing the delightful delicacy, or it just melted straightaway behind his napkin robed hands. Finally, swallowing with purpose he got the mouthful dispersed and stared at Maggie who had a half smile half and raised eyebrows flirting look on her face.

"I take it you approve?" She grinned batting her eyelids.

For a moment Jess was speechless (I know….a miracle.) as he looked back at her with liquid blue eyes and licking his lips.

"Dadgum, Mom! If you weren't already married, I'd…." he murmured still trying to get all the juices swallowed without gagging.

"You'd what?"

"I'd….I'd … well I'd be all over you with kisses!" Jess got it out. He looked back at the plate with the morsels and then at Maggie.

"Well, I don't think Poppa would mind one kiss." She was still grinning at his utter enjoyment. She hadn't gotten a response to her cooking like that ….ever.

"Permission?" he pointed to his lips then hers.

She looked over her shoulder down the hall to her bedroom and with Chuck nowhere in sight, nodded yes. She THOUGHT he meant a peck on the lips. Uh-uh…..nope, no way, nada, not what Jess was thinking. This poor always hungry bachelor cowboy was drooling all the way from his toes with the flavors. You know those extra-long kisses Sarabeth had discovered over the summer? Yep. This had to be a "proper thank you" in his book. Jess slowly stood up and took her hand softly pulling her to her feet and her eyebrows lifted. Then he slowly placed his hands gently on her cheeks and planted a... clove infused, peach preserved, homemade fresh, sweet fruit bread slathered in fresh homemade butter right smack on the middle of her mouth… ….and savored….they both savored it lingeringly until Maggie had to pull up to breathe. Then he nuzzled into her ear and neck wrapping a full body hug, politely… around her frame. Jess released her while taking her shoulders softly to steady her and her hands went to the sides of her head gasping for air and releasing a soft, "WOW!" With her knees definitely wobbling, he guided her back into her chair by her shoulders where she eased down into it and the color of her cheeks slowly returned to normal. It was a thank you kiss, not a "romancing the cook" kiss and it came from the bottom of his heart, er… tummy.

"Wow, Son. Nobody ever complimented my cooking like that before!" She was still a little breathless.

"THAT just passed up Daisy's apple pie!" Jess pointed at his plate as he sat back down and dove in for a second bite. Daisy's pie was out of this world but this was hot, fresh bread, just made butter with his ma's peach preserves on top and nothing could top his ma's preserves.

Maggie quickly grabbed his hand preventing the bite and he looked at her with a small frown not wanting to be delayed.

"Easy, Jess. Pace yourself. When it's eaten up, there's no more until next year." She smiled and released her hand.

"Yes, Ma'am!" Was mumbled as he stuffed the next bite into his mouth anyway as he spoke. Maggie was both smiling and tearing by now watching the small boy inside Jess bury his face in something so simple as homemade Christmas fruit bread and jelly and get such a strong, powerful response. She began realizing it too was probably yet another brand new experience for him at the age of 30. His mother had been a great cook, but she didn't have much of a kitchen or food supplies other than bare necessities, how could he have ever known these delicacies that her kids and their friends had all grown up assuming was the normal fare for a Christmas morning?

Still talking with his mouth full of the third bite licking his fingers and under his breath moaning, "Dadgum…. so good… never tasted anything….." He then took a small sip of the now just-right-temperature coffee using his ring and pinky fingers and thumb to hold the cup. His first two fingers on each hand were sticky with residue overflow then groaning happily under his breath.

"Your momma was a good cook, Jess. She didn't make special things for holidays and birthdays?"

"Never had Christmas. Only time I got anything was newly handed down clothes my brothers outgrew and she'd patched. Found out my birthday last year when Josie's estate was turned over to me. I knew the year, but the date was in her legal papers. You know I didn't know people had birthday parties until Josie's papers were given to me? Slim and Daisy gave me a surprise party that year and the first real Christmas I had was at Slim's, too, but Daisy wasn't there yet, well….. that first Christmas we were under an Indian attack. That one was a close call." A shadow crossed his eyes as he spoke then he quickly took another bite nearly smothering his last sentence.

Maggie shook her head in sadness but tried to keep on the lighter side of the holiday and thought better of pursuing that topic.

"It's even better…" she started and he glared at her in disbelief anything on this earth could be "better"….. "…when I grill the bread with butter on the stove and toast it, then hot, add the peach preserves." She raised her eyebrows and his eyes got big again. She nodded yes. "and with milk."

His eyebrows furrowed into an arch almost reaching the ever dangling forelock as though he was being tormented – nothing could top what had just melted in his mouth…could it? He looked quickly around behind him at the stove, gauging the distance and then back at her.

"How many loaves did you make?" His mind had instantly grabbed the notion of experimenting with other flavor arrangements with this as the beginning point.

"The recipe batch makes six large loaves, but after everyone over here eating all day, there won't be maybe a half loaf left by tonight."

Jess sucked in air like he'd been punched hard in the gut. "Huhmpf?! Half a….?" It was a distress filled gasp as his world was fixing to crumple into a small pile of bread crumbs….with assorted tiny pieces of dried fruit scattered about.

"Buuutttt….." her voice wavered playfully and Jess looked quickly back at her.

"Counting the extra noses for today, I um….. made a double batch and I made smaller loaves. There's 5 more loaves about to come out of the oven in…." she inhaled smiffing the aroma with a well experienced nose and then checked the clock on her wall…. "about 10 more minutes. And the last loaves go in."

THAT was sufficient encouraging news that Jess jumped up shoving the last bite into his mouth and hurriedly flippered to the stove where the partial loaf he'd dug from was still sitting. He reached for a flat pan and put it on one of the burners and began fumbling not knowing how her stove/oven worked. It was much fancier and newer than Daisy's back in Laramie. Bigger, too. Huge!

"Where's the…..!" he was eeking under his breath still trying to swallow all the juices and wiped the corners of his mouth on his sleeve.

Maggie smiled and walked up behind him grabbing his waist over the robe so he wouldn't step backwards on her. She had kitchen help, but it was her kitchen custom built to her specifications and she held it to a high standard of organization. She decided it was safer to do it herself than to let Jess turn the kitchen upside down sorting for tools like he'd done the morning Josie arrived and he'd gone into point on the apple pie brew.

"Here, go grab the butter off the table….I'll start the griddle." The stove was already hot from another pot cooking and the griddle had been near the oven part and was already warm.

"Yes, Ma'am!" Jess flippered back to the table, grabbed the saucer of butter and hurried back, sliding across the floor the last two steps in his socked feet and holding the saucer with both hands like a squirrel latched onto a huge walnut….or like a puppy dog sitting up. He watched her closely as she cut off a good inch slice, buttered it neatly edge to edge without drowning it and placed it face down on the griddle she'd started, then buttered the second side. Whilst waiting and still holding the butter dish,

"Would um… is it….I mean…is it permitted, can I grab one of the loaves coming out and hide it? I don't want to ruin your dinner arrangements or nothin', but if it's gunna be a whole 'nother year…?"

She looked up at him, but he was standing guard at her elbow watching the cooking process like it was his first look at a stove.

"I'll take care of you, son. We'll put some back for later. I like mine kinda toasted done medium brown, how would you like yours?"

Jess pointed at the cooking griddle with the butter dish in his hand… "Yes… however you…know best, Mom." He'd never toasted sliced bread before so he was clueless what level he liked, but he was watching closely.

She flipped the piece over and the piece was golden and lightly crisp. She waved at the table with the spatula and Jess instantly turned and retrieved the peach preserves, his saucer and coffee cup and hers. It was a load, but then he has huge hands and was not a problem. She smiled at his bringing her saucer too.

"I've already had my limit, Jess. This one's all yours." She took her saucer with her other hand and put it down nearby. Jess put the peach jar and his coffee cup down and refilled the coffee while still holding his empty saucer, one eye glued watching the griddle.

"There….ok. That should be about…" She checked the second side and Jess picked up the knife for the preserves, still standing so close to her there was no room at her elbow.

"Be careful, Jess. It will be hot, so don't burn your mouth."

"Yes, Ma'am!"

She barely got the piece 1" off the griddle and he put the saucer right under her spatula lifting the piece of toast, put it down on the counter and loaded the appropriate amount of butter and peach dressing, tested the edge with his lips, then took a decent size bite. And once more his jaws locked down in pure, utter delight and he verbally groaned an unformed "dadgum" as his shoulders sagged. He turned around with his back to the counter and slid down to the floor landing on his bum. The saucer floating under the held slice of bread was carefully protecting the slice all the way down. He sat on the floor with his knees bent up guarding the new treasure and slowly savored every molecule of delight. Maggie was standing nearby watching with an endearing face. When he finished his legs relaxed out flat on the floor in front of him and his head leaned back on the counter and his eyes were closed. She re-fixed his coffee cup with sugar and extra cream and then placed it on the saucer that had sunk to his lap in his hands. Sasha got up from where she'd been laying under the table, walked up to him and sniffed the saucer and her whiskers woke Jess from his stupor. There were a few bread crumbs still on the saucer and he lifted the coffee cup and let her lick them off as he took a small swallow of the perfectly creamed coffee.

He sat there so long Maggie began to get worried, so she drew her finger across his forehead and a tiny tear dropped from the corner of his eye down the other side of his face.

"You ok?" she asked softly.

"Best Christmas morning I've ever had, Mom. Don't want it to end."

"I understand. Do you want another slice while the pan is hot?"

"Ya, but…." He looked up through his arched eyebrows and forelock at her with a sorry look, "…if I eat one more bite….." Jess knew one more bite and he'd be out cold in a food stupor and yet didn't want to hurt Maggie's feelings. "Dadgum, even my gut's enjoying the flavors. Just the right… sweet to salty butter, crunch to melt in your mouth. Never had anything like this before."

"I know that feeling well, Jess. Just enjoy." She moved the pan off the heat and picked up some towels she used as hot pads and mumbled. "I'm just going to pull those next 5 loaves from the oven."

It didn't take any more and he swigged down the coffee and got to his knees and stood up putting the cup and saucer down. He also reached for a towel as a hot pad off the same stack Maggie'd pulled from and tilting his head to look down into her face expectantly waiting for her to point or give him direction.

"Tell me what to do."

She patted his forearm and headed for the oven door and Jess stepped back out of her path then followed her like a puppy and copied what she did.

"Maybe next year you'd like to help me knead the fruit into this dough. It's a real work out for the arms and back." She patted his bicep with a soft hand and looked up to his face with a small smile. "You're built just right for kneading bread."

"Reckon you better! Just tell me when and I'll be there. Don't know how you can knead fruits this tiny but I can doggone sure learn." And he meant it.

She grabbed two loaves and Jess grabbed two putting them down beside hers like they were new born babies, then he grabbed the last one and passed it directly under his nose as it headed for the counter mumbling, "Dadgum, that smells so good, I could eat this whole loaf."

She loaded the last 3 loaves and closed the oven door and put some more wood into the stove fire pan.

"Or any other time of the year you get an urge to make some. Maybe I could watch you make the peach jelly, too." It was a hint from the heart of the boy suppressed deep inside the former gunfighter.

Maggie wasn't a new mother and Daisy's advice was still fresh, she shot him a side look with a coy grin.

"Uh, huh. Watch or eat it from the pan while it cooks?" Her voice was playful as an experienced mother with a young'un who is prone to prank.

Jess smiled really big fully embarrassed seeing his stealth plan hadn't worked and he reached over and gave her a big hug and a smooch on the cheek. She patted him on the ribs accepting his offered affection. He picked up his used dishes off the counter where he'd left them, finished the last swig of coffee and put them in the kitchen sink.

"Chuck and Sarabeth will be up any minute and folks will start arriving soon…"

"Ya…need to go gear up." Jess checked his robe tie but it was holding well. "Thanks, Mom."

"You're welcome, son. If I ever need a quality control checker, I'll be sure to call you."

"Yes, MA'AM!" He patted the side of his leg kissing the air twice, "C'mon Sashalina…."

She promptly stood and with her toe nails softly clicking like little spurs on the stone floor she sashayed beside him as he disappeared down the hall wiping his mouth on his sleeve one final time. Maggie smiled as though she was in heaven watching them go still shaking her head that he'd never experienced something so simple and normal to her house as Christmas bread or birthdays that her family presumed they'd have so they slept in or ignored the effort.

People finally began getting up, they ate a buffet breakfast of assorted holiday pastries as they felt so indulged and the other families began showing up on time for the second gift go around. Whilst the festivities were beginning to get underway Jess headed to the kitchen to fill a cup of coffee and he found this time it was Slim "on point" standing at the buffet with his mouth overstuffed with Christmas bread and crumbs leaking overboard. His other hand was loading his plate with seconds, or thirds….could've been sixths, tall as he is. Slim was not moving away from the buffet to let others through either. They had to go around him. Jess was grinning ear to ear but knew Slim could put down a whole loaf all by his self and was fixing to protest and grab Slim's elbow when Mike physically tugged him back into the living room. Mike was "rounding up strays" in a hurry to open more presents he'd helped Josie wrap gifts and had seen what Jess was about to receive.

Sarabeth had knitted another scarf, this time for Jess in the exact color pattern matching hers but using two shades of blue against a black border. It was a neck scarf but she had knitted a high neck that stood up on one side of it in the middle so that it covered his ears. She'd also brought his clean laundry into his room several times and had snooped to the length of belt he wore in his jeans and then she'd special ordered an ornately carved leather belt that had a burnished coloring done to it. That was accompanied with a silver rectangular belt buckle that had "JH" in small diamonds with the frame outlined in small rubies over on top of it since his birthday was in July (she'd quizzed Josie). The stones were embedded, not prong set so they couldn't catch on stuff and disappear. He was stunned because he'd never seen neither a hand carved belt that nice nor stone encased buckles. Jess special ordered a new fountain pen with an elegantly carved wood handle for Sarabeth and a bottle of blue ink plus 10 more journal books since she'd already filled one. The handle of the pen was made from teak wood and the nib was solid sterling. Jess bought Chuck a small handgun with a tooled leather shoulder holster and he gave Maggie a carved wood box and could serve as either a jewelry box or something she could put all her tatting supplies (gear) into. He gave Mike the wallet that Maggie had pre-purchased on her covert shopping trip and he'd put some money inside and a generic bank deposit slip intending to teach Mike how to do a savings account. Mike's eyes lit up like a fireworks display. He gave Daisy another shawl that he'd paid Sara to make for him. She loved it. He gave Slim and Josie his fancy buggy with trailer but he'd had it refreshed, polished, leather cleaned and the axles cleaned and re-packed with fresh grease. Jess was looking ahead to baby Shermans, winter trips to doctors, a March weather birth and babies needing sheltered transportation, he was not thinking more wedding gifts. Slim and Josie gave Jess a new saddle blanket to use on Bolero and a fancy tooled black leather bridle and martingale fitted with silver colored findings. Chuck and Maggie gave Jess the matching new tooled leather saddle for Bolero that Slim had custom made and fitted to the stud's wider back structure. They had conspired to buy the horse a show saddle and gear in the hopes of taking Bolero and his new riding bud to local events, rodeos and parades including Denver and Cheyenne to repeat the corral exhibition and show him off for stud bookings. Chuck and Maggie ….. (bookings for the horse, not Jess) ….. had gotten married between Christmas and New Year's Day back in the day so for a combined Christmas and anniversary gift Chuck bought Maggie a 2 carat round diamond solitaire ring to add to her wide yellow gold wedding band and she cried in joy. She actually sobbed pretty hard in joy. They snuggled with her sitting on his lap and promised they'd spend the next hundred years together, too. She bought him a new, updated walk in safe for the huge empty closet in his hidey hole; his used one was being donated to Jr. There were other gifts to Daisy and Mike, Jr and his family, a big dinner and lots of conversation and laughter around the fireplace.

After Christmas Jess went back to the saddlery and ordered Bolero an identical saddle without all the fancy as an everyday, cattle working saddle and it was delivered a month later. On warmer winter days Jess began working Bolero with cattle and Bolero found out he liked to corner steers. Truly, the horse took pleasure in out-competing the short fat critters. So Jess fine-tuned him into a cutting horse and was one of THE fastest lessons teaching a horse to do anything so much Jess was impressed. And yes, they eventually prevailed on Jess to go do exhibitions on Bolero at nearby rodeos and parades and the plan and goal was to fill Bolero's date book with mares and begin making money for Slim and Josie's ranch. Bolero would be decked out in his fancy saddle and being the ham he was they figured he'd eat up every performance; the bigger and noisier the audience, the higher he'd strut. For Jess they planned to hire the wedding tailor to make a fancy tight-fitting black suit with vertical black, shiny stripes down the side of each leg and topped with a hot red silk shirt and bandana. The suit's jacket was made from black leather cut was short like his jean jacket and they added a new, clean hat. At first Jess liked the feel of the silk shirt but he was concerned about the red color so they made a back up shirt in blue teal silk. The ranch hands would pack Bolero back to the ranch while the goal was that Slim and Josie worked the bookings and sell Bolero's offspring. Jess would don his work clothes and hop on Traveler where he could ride incognito and relax on the way back to the ranch amongst the remuda handlers. He only agreed to doing exhibitions for 2 reasons. First, to help Slim's ranch become profitable not only in stud bookings but eventually in selling horse offspring from matches with Bolero, the two Morgan mares and the stud they finally got on the next year from one of the mares alternating breeding years like Chuck did on his cattle. Within a short goal Slim and Josie wanted to go back to their Morgan supplier and buy 20 more broodmares aiming to have a constant waiting list and Slim's horses becoming some of the highest priced and most sought in the territory. Jess became appointed horse trainer boss and eventually hoped to hire several extra men to take the aging stress off of Jess' body. Second, because he began to thoroughly enjoy dancing with Bolero which became moments of pure fun for him he planned to add in running mounts and mounts with no stirrups and other 'tricks'. Slim's plan was to step in and begin marketing the ranch's horse and cattle business, Josie would do a driving exhibition but all this is part of Part 5 of this saga so you all just need to be patient. They also planned a cattle demonstration, so it wasn't all fluff. Bolero grew into a dadgum good natural cutter once Jess showed Bolero how fun it was to chase one of those little critters and Jess would just point Bo a particular way to a steer then turn the reins loose and go for a ride. Watching a Friesian Quarter Horse dance with a dumb cow was quite entertaining and Jess was busy making gestures and faces which always delighted the audience. Plus Slim and Jess would do heeling and heading contests on Bolero and Buck that were planned to be so snapping sharp it would bring the crowd to its feet and break records in time at any rodeo grounds they competed at. Who headed and who heeled? I let you figure that out and sometimes they roped each other just for laughs.

Anyway, back to Christmas. On Christmas evening having noticed that Sarabeth had ducked away into the kitchen when her mother's diamond ring was revealed, after they finished braiding her hair, Jess laid on his back on the bed on top all the quilts with a new topic to discuss. As had become their new habit since moving from the Sherman ranch where they'd lay on a blanket at the lake, now it was cold outside so they transferred to his bedroom and fireplace. And they'd moved the braiding to his bedroom so to not drive Chuck crazy not getting his hands into Maggie's hair anymore. Well, Jess and Sara never knew that Chuck and Maggie began "braiding sessions" back in the master bedroom, too. They just didn't want Jess and Sara to know what they'd resurrected and it wasn't braids. Sasha snuggled into his side on the fireplace side and Sarabeth snuggled under his right shoulder where sometimes they talked or Sara would read some fiction book out loud, sometimes they just listened to the fireplace crackling and popping as the snow began softly falling outside. It was a picture worthy of a post card or Christmas card. The door to his room was always open to the hall for propriety and he refused to go into her bedroom at all. Most times he even used the extra bathroom between Jr and Jerry's old bedrooms just so Sara could have lady privacy in the "guest" bedroom's bathroom he and Slim had used. That other bathroom had been discovered when Maggie put him through the hot tub salt bath after his shoulder surgery, so he helped himself after moving in October. It was closer to a back door which lead to Sasha's outside potty, so it was a natural move on his part. On this evening he was stroking the new leather belt and buckle enjoying the feel of the leather and studying the depths of the carving and the stones in the buckle.

"Someone sure did a beautiful job on these, 'specially the burnish and the staining. It was a nice thing your dad did giving your mom a new ring. Sure was pretty."

"Ya. Sparkly." It was not a convincing compliment. "This was a pretty big anniversary for them."

Jess could tell by her distant attitude something was bothering her so he went fishing with questions.

"Been a huge year. Lots of new changes in life. How do you think it went?"

"Learned a ton. Different than book work. Liked this kind of learning better….it was like I actually was accomplishing something with the effort it took." She was speaking easy, just still not bubbling over with post-Christmas glow.

His patience with fishing with talk was as long as his temper's fuse.

"What's bothering you?" He put the belt down across his leg and drew his finger across her cheek wiping a feather of hair off her face.

"Just working on a lot of thoughts, putting puzzle pieces together trying to organize and make sense of what all has happened, where things are and what's ahead."

"Ya, you picked the hard puzzle. Need any help?" He had his opening and she was happy to walk in.

"Yes, I do, actually. Not sure the Christmas section is finished. I thought there would be a few more pieces. You know, the key pieces that tie groups of events together. Maybe I just haven't gotten enough of the pieces about your life and life style yet and that's holding up the Christmas section I thought would be there. Have I messed up that part of this puzzle?" She was distressed because Jess didn't seem any closer to committing with a marriage proposal than the first of last year's big discussion on finishing things. She'd finished her degree and gone to see his world over the summer, yet he didn't seem any closer to moving their relationship forward and it bothered her.

Jess could tell this lovely creature had a brain and would keep him on his toes.

"No, you've done a marvelous work on that section. I hope you enjoyed doing it."

"Oh, I did! I learned so much, just like you said I would. And I enjoyed discovering what I could do and the way everyone is treating me like a productive adult and not simply cow stock for producing children. I just thought more of the puzzle would be done by now, you know on the relationship area." She was hinting as hard as she could, but he didn't seem to be catching her drift.

Jess thought for several moments in silence so long Sarabeth thought he might have fallen asleep which was his tendency to do on this bed. He'd stay awake at the lake forever, but in this bed most of the time it was uncanny he'd conk out almost immediately. So she rolled onto her stomach toward him and leaned her head up on her hand to see his face and began playing with the button on the front of his shirt. He was still awake and he caught her drift but wasn't sure how to answer it. He looked down watching where her hand would go and comfortable with her deecision just fiddling with the button he lifted another short strand of hair on the side of her face that had escaped the braid and twirled it between his fingers.

"What's bothering you?" She echoed and Jess smiled lightly at the ceiling at her echo.

"Just working on a lot of thoughts, putting puzzle pieces together trying to organize and make sense of what all has happened, where things are and what's ahead." He echoed back.

"Ya? You picked the hard puzzle. Need any help?"

"Yes, I do, actually. Those missing relationship areas that connect puzzle pieces, Sara, involve the images of my life's past and they are not the pretty parts of this puzzle."

"I'm pretty good with puzzles, Jess. Tell me about them, maybe I can help."

"You've had a beautiful life, wonderful family, secure even sheltered home, everything a child needs to grow up. My life has been just about as far the opposite to yours, most or all of it is not pretty, parts even are quite ugly and we've come to the place that's hard in any relationship and two, no three things are blocking the road right now."

"Tell me number one."

"Honesty. It's a foundation that holds hands with trust and honor."

"I agree. And I can promise you one thing, Mr. Harper. You WILL lose me faster than Bolero at a full run by NOT being completely honest with me. What's number 2?"

"Those things in my past may be too hard for you to live with, could change your mind about me and by being honest, I could lose you."

"You are you because OF your past, Jess. You told me a year ago it's what you do with the life challenge and how you handle it that makes you the person you are. Have you ever considered had your life been like mine without all that bad stuff, maybe you'd have turned out one hot, cocky and rank cowboy so stuck on himself he'd be worthless as a human being? You are not the person you were back then in the ugly times and maybe I wouldn't have loved that Jess Harper. But all those things ugly as they were, and how you learned through them and finished them, has made you the Jess Harper of today. He's the one I'm in love with. So if you take away your past, then you are a different person."

"Dadgum, I love the way your brain works. Your memory always that good?"

"Thank you! It's been honed by tons of college education that was disciplined to finish and yes, I heard from very reliable sources that my memory intimidated most of my professors. Now, what's number 3 road block to this puzzle?" She smiled at the compliment and tweaked the button in her fingertips.

"To get all those ugly pieces onto the table for you to view I have to go digging deep inside me where it still hurts. I was tired of the pain when I went through them, not sure I want to go back and dig around in them again."

"You know,…" she inched a little closer for a more direct eye contact. "…. I'm a little new to this nursing thing, but to me that sounds like an infection that's festering, needs to be lanced and cleansed so that it can heal and new skin can grow it closed properly. Back to what you told me the first of the year, it's putting my shoulder into the harness and helping get the job done. So if that means I need to lance these scars of the past and clean out the pus to help you through the pain so they can be healed up correctly, then I'm willing to do that. You said life throws challenges. If it were easy, it wouldn't be a challenge."

"Ya, well. You may be braver than me, Sara. It was bad enough the first time through."

"These roadblocks are why you're not ready to commit aren't they?"

"Well…..let's put it this way. I'm further along that road than I was when I met you a year ago, but, I'm still working on myself. You're not the only one in this relationship who's facing changes."

"Since we're on this section of road together, perhaps you'll allow me to help you as much as you've been helping me. Isn't that what you said a relationship was supposed to do? Pitch in and help each other?"

"It won't be pretty, Sara. It's the unseen pain that hurts most."

"You went through all that ugly in the past alone, didn't you?"

"Ya, more or less, 'cept when Slim got involved."

"That's why it hurt so hard. When someone goes through it with you, like Slim did, their strength helps ease the pain and can help get the mending done faster. Like me sleeping at your back last winter with the barn fire, so you could get some deeper sleep and heal up. Didn't that help?

"Ya, I reckon it did."

"Just a little?" She pushed slightly, "Plus running and gettin', helpin' when you're not at full speed?"

"Well, ya…the way you've jumped in takin' care of me…more than a little. Was a lot. Just not so used to that…not sure these days I coulda done it without your wonderful help." His voice was more wimpy…lightly embarrassed for not being more verbal in his appreciation.

"Then we'll just go through it together, one boot at a time, and put this puzzle back on schedule. I'm not getting any younger, you know." She tried a light tease of humor and jabbed him in the ribs with her index finger.

Jess looked over at her with a guffaw. "You're not ?….getting younger!? You break a few raw, green horses and bounce off the ground a few times, you'll think younger."

"Oh but you're a cowboy." She winked but gestured her hand downward like it was nothing.

"What difference does that make?!"

"Cowboys are tough and indestructible. Or at least they believe they are."

"Ya, well, this one's not, I can assure you. The last three years or so particularly convincing."

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are TOO!"

"Am not!" Jess' short fuse was sitting very close to an unstruck match.

"I can prove it!" She challenged sitting up onto her knees in the middle of the bed.

"Ya, I'd like to see you try!" …..well….so much for famous last words and Jess instantly regretted them having forgotten he was talking to a lady.

Small bed decoration pillows began a parade right for his head and chest. Sasha jumped up and cuddled down between the head pillows and the headboard as Jess started grabbing the flying missiles and tossed them back at Sarabeth. She grabbed them midair and was rearing back to re throw them at Jess when he suddenly sat up and took her wrists. He was beginning to take aim at her laughing, cherry tinted lips when she turned her wrists quickly gaining freedom and sprang backwards off the bed running out the bedroom door into the hall and the chase was on. If it weren't for the giggles, she could have hidden and survived, but an experienced and knowledgeable tracker, former Army scout worth anything uses his ears just as much as his eyes. With the cowboy on her heels, Sarabeth ran through his den and around the desk pushing the chair in his path and getting ahead just enough to jump over his stump covered safe and headed back to the bedroom. All forms of lady like etiquette were nowhere to be found. Then she jumped onto the middle of the bed and bounced clear off it sending Sasha into the air in a short flight while she landed on her feet on the other side just as Jess came around the foot of the bed and cut her off at the pass. At a standoff she grabbed a handful of pillows and threw them at Jess' head blinding his view and disappeared into thin air. Jess pulled the pillows out of his face and looked around the room not seeing or hearing her and he looked at Sasha who was of no help and just thumped her tail on the headboard in her safe place. From her hiding spot under the bed Sara watched Jess' socked feet leave the room going out into the hall and disappear and then there was nothing. No feet, no sound, nothing on the bed over her and it got very quiet and stayed quiet for minutes. Jess knew the only place she could have gone was under the bed and this was a war vet, fought uncounted Indians, hand to hand with other men, he was no fool to try to follow her under the bed. Huh ah…ya don't follow mama bears into their den. So he went down the hall and back into his den from the hall entrance and then stood peeping through the adjoining doorway being sure his feet were backed out of sight and he waited for her to emerge. Chase scenes with women was brand new and this was also bordering on bad memories seeing his father chase down his mother only that was in anger and hormonal rage. So Jess pulled back on the reins to think this one out just a little. He knew Sara was playing and it was Christmas and he didn't want to spoil her fun. Plus that particular bed and bedroom had a special zone of inner peace that grabbed him that should in no way be disturbed, so this had to be handled very delicately. It didn't take too long and he knew what to do. He went back into the hall and reentered the bedroom gimping on one leg, leaning forward and groaning loudly. After all, with hurt and comfort as a forte in his arsenal of experience as a reformed gunfighter, acting can't be all that hard...

"Oh, dadgum….Sash! I think I pulled my back out! OW!" it was a voice complete with tremor.

Sasha's "nursing instinct" activated, she thumped her tail and scooted over as Jess eased himself onto the bed purposefully placing side and head pillows in strategic locations he could utilize. Sasha licked his forehead.

"That round with Bolero jumping that arena….." he gasped out loud on purpose... "really jarred my shoulder back up, when we landed, too!" He was searching the perimeters of the bed for a head to bob up.

Sure enough, from the right side of the bed Sara's head came up slowly peeking to see if it were true and Jess immediately laid his head back and covered his eyes with his left hand…groaning hard. He sucked in some air between his teeth peeking through his fingers and here came nurse Sara.

"Oh, no! Jess!... I didn't mean….." she started absolutely horrified she'd cause another pain event.

"No….no. It was me…. I took that corner just too fast and my sock slipped." He joked playfully.

"Here, Jess, turn over and let me rub it out like Slim did."

Unceremoniously she jumped onto the bed kneeling over his knees and hauling at his arm on one side and pushing on his back with the other hand trying to roll him over. Jess was getting ready to resist and beg off but, ok, this could be interesting….play with a female. She certainly wasn't strong enough to hurt him. He rolled onto his stomach grabbing a pillow under his head so he could be comfortable whilst enduring her efforts of compassion and he smothered a smile.

"I'll be all right….just need to…rela …well….um…oKK! Be gentle, I break easy."

"Tell me where." She started gently poking along his back and actually touched a tight spot and he grimaced, muttering in surprise, "OW!" It was an old wound area on his back in the well plowed left shoulder corner pocket.

"Oh here, I found one." Jess thought she believed it was a scavenger hunt of some sort and his body was the search field.

She was straddling his knees and started massaging his back and doing a pretty decent job and it began to feel good, so Jess decided to eat some of it up. So she'd rub a spot then he'd move slightly more on target where she worked on it for a minute and direct her to another spot, then another. About the 3rd move to the 4th spot Sara caught on Jess was pulling her leg and taking advantage so she went into a full tilt deep massage from the top of his spine all the way down to his tailbone, taking her time sometimes going in with her elbow. He started groaning as she'd hit deep, really tight knots and knead them until they'd eventually unfist themselves. But she also took some freedom and went below the equator even down to the hamstrings where she'd seen Slim work and then up a little under the cute curtains where all that horseback pounding just had to be affecting the bottom side of his lap leading into the gamed up leg. Her intent was duel fold; both in massage and in exploration, or as much as he would permit. Having never seen a male without clothes, his solidness fascinated her and her first belief was that all that solidness were indeed the tight spots, but lots of them wouldn't give in. She did hit some good spots pretty deeply, but not quite as deep as Slim had gotten on his cramp, or maybe it was because they were not in cramps it didn't feel as deep….Jess really didn't care at the moment…it just felt good…and his groans of enjoyment..er, pain became as regular as her gouges. She was going at it but to his dense muscles and tone it was barely passed the tickle stage. Once she'd worked the backside of his lap over and he hadn't complained, she went further to the knees and then to his calf muscles becoming more and more amazed just how solid this guy was and there was a difference between spots of tightness and long lengths of just sheer, pure muscle.

"Jess, there's not one ounce of fat on your bones anywhere!" She straighten up on her knees putting her hands on her hips with her feet hanging off the side of the bed and then went back in. "How'd you get to be so solid?"

"Hard …..work…" he groaned between prods.

"Ah…huh. And how many fights? Slim says you don't back down to no one."

"Man's gotta…. stand up …..for what he ….. feels is right."

"Or the underdog even if he's wrong?"

"OOH, Sa…ra…." He was trying to speak in between gouges…. "I think…..you've found….. your pur…. pose! Ow…..OW! EASY, girl!...be gentle…with me….ow!"

"Jess, your back is one knot next to another. How do you even walk!?"

"Walk?... Who walks?... Cowboys ride."

"I AM being easy….not half as hard as Slim was leaning into you."

"Ya know, maybe some heat might loosen it up a little." Jess was hoping for maybe some hot towels like Maggie had fixed for hot compresses on his thigh after the barn fire, and soon before he turned black and blue….or she broke a rib or something.

"You're right, the heat would help." She promptly eased her body down lying face down lengthwise on top of his back like she did when they were on their sides but her weight shoved his face deeper into the pillow, she thought completely trapping him under herself.

"I meant…..I mean I thought maybe….some hot towels…?" Jess wheezed as he was trying to breathe smashed into the pillow.

"Oooh, I dunno….towels are so light, you need something to reeaa…lllly flat..ten these knots out." She was on the teasing end now digging her fist into the sides of his ribcage. Um…..don't tell anyone ok? But Jess is ticklish…in his ribs.

He could tell by the tone of her voice she'd caught on and was now teasing him and no one, absolutely nobody gets to tickle the ribs. So timing it just right, he flipped her off to one side onto her back like an experienced bronc rider then immediately recaptured her laying partially on top her pinning her down with one leg over her thighs, one arm across her body holding her far arm flat on the bed and trapping her near arm with his body while he leaned on his elbow. His move pulled the shirt tail loose. Their blue eyes locked and once again in the fire light turned them to the same shade of blue.

With the most absolutely innocent look she looked squarely back at him, "Feeling better now?" then batted her eyelashes in a flirting manner.

"Almost." His voice was suddenly deeper and very smooth.

Very slow and gently he put the fingers of one hand on her cheek and they kissed. It was a medium size kiss and Sara was sure this was going to be another one of those special, you know, long, lengthy, etc. but he pulled up, smacked his lips and nodded releasing his leg over her body. He slowly drew his free hand down lengthwise on her tummy from her neck, through the valley of her wonders of the world assets to just below her waist before lifting it to rest on his own hip. (Well, he felt she'd gone all the way past his um…curtains to his calf muscles, so he felt he had permission to go just below her waist and still remain a gentleman.) Her eyelids fluttered and she slightly arched her back following his hand and drawing in a silent gasp wondering what Pandora box she'd just opened. His touch was always light, slow and gentle. That wasn't the issue. This was the first time he was touching her body in some way not assisting her, like through a doorway or into a chair, or braiding hair….or pulling her down out of gunfire.

"Yup, now I'm better!" As he moved to release his hold she grabbed pillows HE had placed for his use and she whacked him lightly on the shoulders and chest. She didn't mind his wandering hand even enjoyed it, but she was tickled how he seemed to find ways to steal smooches in a playful manner.

"OOOOH!" Hers was now a playful frustration.

"OW! HEY!" He tried to raise his hand in protection but was a second too slow.

He dodged as best he could but it messed up his hair and the top few buttons of his shirt popped loose from all the twisting and massaging tugs and from stretch as he reached under the head pillow where Sasha was laying. She made a tiny peep as he pulled an 8" square velvet box out from under the pillow. Then he laid the little box on Sara's stomach and leaned back on his elbow.

"What's this?" she asked with wide eyed surprise.

"Puzzle piece."

Still laying on her back next to his body she gingerly opened the box and her eyes got big and her mouth flew open and she sat up 1/3rd of the way on her elbow facing him with the box between them.

"Jess! Itsa…." Her big blue eyes looked him in the face beginning to tear. "…so beautiful! I've never seen anything so…. Are they real?" Her voice went a half octave higher.

"Daggone right, they're real. Hafta be careful some wearing it… ya know. Man in the store says to keep oil and soap away from those white ones."

Oil well profits – a receipt he had "forgotten" and not turned in.

It was a 16" very white 7mm pearl necklace with matching bracelet both with multiple ¼ carat round diamonds encrusted on the clasps and with matching stud pearl earrings all set in 18kt gold. She sat up and pulled the bracelet from the box and laid it across her wrist and he helped her secure the clasp, each holding one end of the bracelet working together. She took the necklace and handed it to him. He'd watched how she undid the clasp on the bracelet and copied her undoing the necklace. She sat up turning her back toward him and pulled her braid out of the way. He looped it over her head and shoulders where the necklace dropped lower than her asset's valley, then lifting it upward paused between their size D peaks and landed ever so lightly. Sliding it slowly up into place at her neck his left hand sorta lost one end of the necklace which fell down into her um … clothing that covered …. that um…. valley.

"opps…" he whispered in her ear and as he kissed under that ear he slowly drew his right hand up along her skin from her valley using the held end and pulled the necklace up out of her clothing. The other end appeared just below the top of that valley and the index finger of his left hand slowly eased down into the "v" of her ruffled neckline an inch into the actual valley and braced the end of the necklace against her skin catching and suspending its upward movement against her heart. She could feel his breath on the back of her neck as he was looking down over her shoulder watching his hands working just millimeters away and centered in her valley and continued to slowly draw the necklace upward. Her heart was beating so wildly she was afraid he could feel it through her back and for some odd reason her face was blistering hot. The pearls were quite cool though and the end of the necklace rose very, very slowly another inch and goosebumps broke out all over her thighs. IF she had taken a deep breath his finger would have been deep into her valley and actually physically touching the inner sides of both her assets. But for her, at this particular moment, breathing was not possible and her stomach was trembling deep inside her core. His hands were warm and soft from all the braiding hair treatment so they also smelled really clean, his body was firm but quietly still and confident and she wanted to just melt into his chest. His thumb was (finally) able to secure a hold as his fingers targeted and held only the necklace but they were so broad and the pearls were smaller that the edges of his fingers around the pearl were the only part of him that actually physically touched her decollate. His warm fingers on her skin was as light as feeling feathers on a bird. He slowly brought the necklace into place at the base of her neck and secured the clasp and then he softly but slowly kissed her neck below the clasp and then above the clasp and then another just under the braid at her hairline. She was fully blushing, her lips were beet red, every pore on her body was alive and at attention and if he'd have kissed her one more time right there she would have turned and …lost her control. He didn't but she could still feel his breath on her neck so she turned toward him with wide eyes that were becoming misty. Her hand came up touching the necklace. His face was still near her ear and he spoke very slowly in that deep, baritone coo,

"Sara, there's not one ounce on your bones.. that's not pure beauty. How'd you get to be so gorgeous?" He echoed her with his return massage at a gentleman's abstain.

Sara blushed even further realizing by his echoing her comment that Jess knew she had been exploring his body. It was embarrassing. Her head was spinning so fast and she could hear her heart wildly beating in her ears so loudly she was afraid she was going to pass out at any second.

"You knew? You didn't mind?" Her voice was soft and quivered slightly and she turned slowly to see his face while still leaning against his chest. Tears were brimming and nearly overflowing her lower eyelids.

"You're a healthy woman, Sara. Be more worried if you weren't curious. You've given freely from deep inside you all year and yet you've held yourself to a very high standard of discipline as to what's between us. Haven't asked for anything back. You're an uncommon woman, Sara, a real, rare lady. Man notices things like that. Respects and honors it."

"I don't know what to say, Jess!" Her voice was barely above a whisper and her blue eyes were softly trying to read his in open innocent eye contact. Settled into his chest her head was lifted up near his chin and their faces were so close their noses were inches apart.

He looked down with a soft smile on his lips. "Oh I think you can think of something." His voice was so soft, smooth, deep and barely loud enough to hear.

She started to speak and he quickly but softly put his index finger over her mouth looking at her lips not wanting words. She understood, looking deeply into his eyes she turned fully and leaned him onto his back laying a full half of her body on his and resting her thigh in the crevice over his femur artery. She softly put her hand on his cheek with her thumb near his lips and she gave him a very long, lengthy, lingering, prolonged, passionate and personal message of warm gratitude. And he drank every drop but let her direct the kiss. She came up breathless and he could have drank more but was delighted with her thank you. He could tell over the year's time her kisses had matured and were definitely developing in the proper direction. All that groundwork was paying off…. quite beautifully. She wasn't kissing him as before from some untamed, exotic notion of romance and exuberant, wild dreams expecting her husband to finish her personality. These kisses were coming from inside a woman becoming known to herself for who she was and comfortable in her own skin and knowing what she was saying from her lips. She was definitely bringing something into the conversation rather than expecting to only be a recipient. It had been a substantial and definitive improvement. He reached up with his index finger and lightly tapped her nose still lingering over his face then drew his finger across her cherry lips and she kissed his finger. He couldn't help but be pleased with his gift to her. With her coloring, she looked stunning in pearls and the innocence in her eyes were perfectly matched by the purity of the white pearls and their glowing moistness was matched by the luster of the nacre that was so flawless you could see a reflection in them.

"Ya know…." His index finger softly touched her lips… "…I'm kinda hungry for some of that peanut stuff and peach preserves we had …." He began softly. He knew she needed to nurture and feed him something as an outlet for her love needing to give….they both needed to nurture the other. But he was still held in reserve by his promised word to Maggie and thought it wiser for both of them to divert their hunger to food.

"I'll be right back! Do NOT go anywhere." She maintained eye contact with him, kissed his chin and very, very slowly eased off going across and over his body enjoying every centimeter of contact. They were holding hands on that side of the bed which slowly slid free of hold as she eased off the bed and was down the hall in about 5 seconds flat.

"Not moving." He smiled looking up at the raftered log ceiling as Sasha crawled from the headboard and put her head down next to his nearest ear, whiskering it. He reached up and gently rubbed her ear fringe. It had been a great Christmas.

CHAPTER 6: Hiding Secrets or Protecting

New Year's Day was spent at the Sherman's for a late brunch buffet, chit chat, knitting and tatting, and a planned midday ham dinner Daisy and Josie worked hard preparing. Everyone had the same unspoken look in their face nearing the one year anniversary of the big barn fire but of which no one wanted to say anything. Chuck, Slim and Jess got into a poker game for dry beans and it got pretty intent where Slim had to fold because he could never get a good set of cards, so since he was out of beans he folded and headed for the kitchen and a fresh cup of coffee. Sarabeth saw an opening and joined him at their kitchen bay window table wanting to pick Slim's brain and memory. She followed Slim in and picked up a coffee cup holding it for him to fill hers just after he filled his own.

"I'll buy you a cup of coffee." She offered looking up his tall frame to his face.

Slim chuckled at her play on words inviting herself into his coffee pot. He was intrigued. This was the first time really that Sara had actually sought him out other than just general conversation in the same room.

"Sure." He filled her cup then offered his hand gesturing to the table and they walked over and he held her chair as she sat down and dived into the sugar bowl with a spoon.

"Pretty bracelet. Is that new?" He noticed the sparkles on the clasp caught by the light coming in the window.

She held her wrist closer so he could look. "Oh, yes! It was a Christmas gift from Jess. Isn't it gorgeous?" Then she pointed at her head. "The necklace and earrings, too." Truth be told she hadn't taken any of them off except for bathing purposes.

"Sure is. That's kinda surprise."

"What's that?"

"Jess buying something that expen…nice. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad he did and can do it now. He's just not the type to buy personal items. Or least not much I've seen. They really look pretty against your skin." Then he muttered under his breath as the coffee cup met his lips…. "good for him!" Slim was actually quite impressed how Jess could have picked something that so complimented her complexion and her clothing. The white pearls had a distinct luster that reflected the glow and health of her skin. He took note to buy something for Josie of the same – as perhaps an after baby gift of love, maybe out of diamonds from the sale of a horse. He'd have to find out where Jess found something that exquisite. Wait….she was talking.

"That's where I need your help, Slim. Knowing his type."

Slim chuckled figuring out quickly he walked right into to that trap….not his day for wins. "Well I'm not sure anybody has that answer about Jess, but fire away. I'll do my best."

"We had a real nice discussion recently and he's concerned I'll be offended by his past and won't love him anymore, so he's reluctant to share it with me. I told him his past has made him who he is today as the man I love, so it doesn't bother me what his past was."

Sounded right to Slim and he gave a quick side nod. "Good answer, Sara. So how can I help?"

"Well, you've known him the longest. Can you tell me what is so bad in his past that he doesn't want to share? That way I'll know better how to handle things as they come up." Her face was perfectly honest and entreating and Slim shook his head slightly while looking into his coffee cup for another sip. Sara had the same way of instantly connecting to people as her mother and was charming, but could be very dangerous in its disarming, too.

"Don't you think it would be better to learn those things coming directly from him so he doesn't get upset thinking people are talking about him behind his back?"

She started to hem-haw… "Well, yes….. I thought of that and the last thing I'd ever want to do is hurt him or break the trust he's offering me. I just want to be prepared so I can be the best help for him."

"That's a real noble notion, Sara, and very thoughtful, but I'm not sure I can help you."

Slim could feel her start to withdraw in an upset way. She took a sip of coffee with one hand and then fiddled with the bracelet softly stroking it tenderly.

"Can't or won't?" She asked meekly without accusation while looking out the window at the mountain peak in the distance, her blue eyes were getting misty and Slim can't handle misty eyes.

"Can't. I would if I could. Let me put it this way, Sara." Slim drew a line down her near hand with his index finger to draw her attention back and she looked at him. "I want to help you and Jess as much as I possibly can. I owe him that and a lot more. I would like to tell you all about Jess' past but I can't. Jess holds his cards close to his vest and when he doesn't want to share something, or someone asks his confidence, no one could torture it out of him. That fact known, I can't tell you because he's not told me very much at all and what little I know I had to find out by living through something with him that brought up the memory. And I've known him over 5 years now. He just simply doesn't open up about himself… to anyone. Not just you, but me, Maggie, Daisy, certainly very little to Mike. So there's just not much I know I could share."

"He told me his past was horrible and painful the first time through and he wasn't wanting to dig through what still hurts inside. Can you share what little he's shared with you? I mean just what is awful and horrible in his mind? Has he killed or murdered someone or …. I mean…an "ugly past" is such a wide open topic."

"Well, Sara, promise me you'll let him bring things up as he's able to deal with them and don't just go charging head long into his vault of scars."

"I understand and I do promise."

"He grew up in an abusive home and I don't know all those details. What few he shared he asked me to keep to myself and I gave my word."

"Ok… I didn't know he'd asked for your confidence so don't violate his trust of you. Mother's told me some things she knew and had experienced when her and Poppa lived in Texas, so his birth home's not totally new to me." She softly interrupted.

"He hasn't sworn me to secrecy about his war experiences. He fought in the War, started out fighting for the south but was captured and sent to a Union POW camp. That is a very painful memory. War by itself can destroy a man inside, things you're forced to do to survive. POW camps were out of hell and is many times worse than the war itself because it's more than a fight to survive, men are turned into animals. So that's a tender spot you'd better stay away from. I think he was wounded when he was captured but I don't know that as a fact. He recovered from the physical wounds and earned his way into becoming a scout and dispatch rider for the Union and they sent him back to the west edges of the war….so earning that helped him."

"Yes, I've heard war can change a man…..be quite painful."

"Maybe this will help more, Sara. Jess feels things deeper than most people and he always seems to take the side of the underdog and he'll fight to the last straw to try to make things right. That characteristic in a man, added to the abusive childhood, means a short fuse and he's got that. He's such a people person because he has a manner of being fun which can cause people to think his just a dumb cowboy. But he's actually quite intelligent and learns things fast so while he'd have done well in schooling, it would have been too slow for him. When it comes too slowly, he gets frustrated and that lights the short fuse. But that fuse is frustration because things don't fix fast enough, or people get into long explanations when he's already got the drift. So you don't need to draw things out to the 'nth degree. He moves at his own pace, too. If he's not ready to move, then trying to prod him only lights the fuse. He knows what's right, and he knows when he's ready. From what I've seen, getting to the end is sometimes messy, but he's on target when he moves and he finishes things. Is this what you need?"

"Absolutely. I didn't know these things. I've seen a very gentle and tender side, never seen any of the violent things you refer, so I really appreciate that. It'll help me not startle up badly when I eventually see it and then lose ground trying to catch up to help him."

"You've been privileged to grow up in a protected life and men can easily read that from miles away, especially Jess. He's also very protective of all women, so he's going to want to protect you from, let's say, his rough edges so he doesn't hurt you." Slim had a thought clot and he thumped his index finger on the table softly. "Understand this maybe the most, Sara. If Jess doesn't tell you something, it's NOT him trying to hide things or cover them up. He's simply trying to protect you from getting hurt by those same things. Those two things are two entirely different concepts."

She met Slim's earnest eyes with her own and thinking analytically out loud bouncing her conclusions off of Slim's facial reaction.

"That would fall into the "trust factor" he's referred to. He wants me to trust him."

"He needs people he begins to trust….more than that he needs us to believe him and believe IN him. If he judges something in his past, or in the present, that he believes is not good for you, then he will hold onto it and cover it. But he's not doing that to deceive you, he's doing it to protect you and you need to believe his judgement. He's one of the most protective men I've ever met, especially with women and children… and animals."

Sara's eyes were beginning to glow in moisture as the comprehension took hold.

"It would be so easy to misunderstand his protection as hiding secrets. I was starting to go down the wrong path thinking he was hiding secrets. So in his mind then that means to trust him to protect me from things he sees are harmful even when I don't understand it and even when he doesn't explain himself. Now see, that explains clearly what I felt when he pulled me down at the barn fire when all those bullets were going off. He doesn't know how close he came to getting his face handed to him."

"How's that?"

"Well, Poppa taught us siblings how to defend ourselves and I got a personal lesson on self-defense before he let me go back east to college without my brothers as guard dogs. When Jess pulled me down to the ground so abruptly, I nearly tore into him."

"What stopped you?"

"Something I saw in his eyes when I landed just as he covered my body. I felt the bullet hit him, or rather I felt him flinch. In his eyes I saw a little of my dad, my brothers, but there was something different in his eyes…. I'm still trying to find words to describe it."

"So it's your turn to describe something." Slim coached.

She looked back to the mountain top thinking and processing, the tip of her little finger's nail between her lip corner and leaning on her elbow. The pearl bracelet was draping beautifully on her wrist and the diamonds sparkling in the light from the window.

"It's hard…been working a whole year on it, Slim. I definitely saw fight ….against death…like death was a real living thing." She pointed at Slim with each word nodding affirmatively, "…Survival ….and protection…..then I felt he was protecting me from my own ignorance, which is different than protecting me from say an animal or a bad human. I'd never considered my own lack of knowledge could actually kill me, but he was doing that without degrading me like some stupid female. When my brothers would pull me out of the path of a bull, they were untactfully humiliating and condescending. I didn't see that with Jess, was more like I wasn't looking the right direction and he was protecting my back. So I guess I could see he had, or has, a value level for women, could easily assume a value for all life. With the last year I've certainly seen him show a regard for the female as an equal or someone of value, more than just being a possession like a horse or a favorite gun, which I see a lot with men in general."

"How does that affect how you feel about him?" Slim was fascinated with his opportunity to vet his partner's new interest.

"Please don't take this wrong, Slim. Bbut….." she looked down at her coffee, then to his face. "I've had men staring at me since I was a little girl, most of them drooling in a lewd way, talking to each other and snickering, some were forward enough to say …. or try to touch me in a certain way. My brothers, well mostly Jr., would get into fights with some of them and then chew me out escorting me back to the house like it was something I did that set the men off, or was too stupid to avoid. I've had men approach me properly, too, but they had the attitude I…. where I felt as though they were shopping for a possession, to own me or sizing me up for bearing children like I was some cow. Those men were never offered a second opportunity and life was getting pretty disheartening. When Jess pulled me down out of the fire, I didn't feel that at all. He left me the dignity as believing I simply wasn't looking the right direction, he did and so he covered me to help me, not to have me owe him something in return, especially of the debt payment a lot of men look for from a woman. There he'd saved my life and he didn't even look for a 'thank you.' It was odd, but it grabbed my attention and made me want to know who this fellow was who could perceive me as someone of worth, just needed a nudge out of the line of fire I didn't see coming and then not denigrate me for my shortcoming. Does that make sense... I mean, to a man of your obvious breeding and education? You've been around the block… ...you know what goes on between men and women."

Slim smiled at her candor and simplicity, yet it was deeply thought provoking and he could see how her thought processes might capture Jess' attention. They were intelligent and quick matching Jess', yet very innocent and vulnerable. The more he heard the more he liked what he saw and why she had a stabilizing influence on Jess' wildness.

"It does, and you have perfectly described Jess. I don't think you need to worry about his past or how much he chooses to share or not share. You may never know all the little details, and in some instances, you don't need to know them. As you said, they have made him who he is today whatever they were and who he's become is more important than the manure pit he pulled himself out from. You're on the right path, Sara, just believe in him enough to give him the space and let him decide the when and where. Just being aware that he has lived a very full life so far and most of it unpleasant was due to circumstances he was thrown into and had to fight to live and was not some way of life he chose. It gives you the head to know he needs the space to land with new problems so he can apply the lessons he's learned from the ugliness in his life. I think more than trying to give you the sordid details he was simply trying to let you know he'd not had a pleasant past, like some picture perfect gentleman from the east out of a dime novel. Women chase him all the time, too, some of them are unrelenting and even embarrassingly obvious. Most of them I've seen were using him as an arm decoration or baiting him to trap him for their own needs and not really seeing him as a man with feelings and issues. The problem is, they see the visible him now but he sees all the past crud he's come through so he knows he's not the perfect stud they believe. Just remember, Sara, he's had to make adult level life and death decisions even before age 15 when his parents died. Where were you at 15 and making life and death decisions standing alone? Sure his lack of formal education is a handicap but that was replaced by immensely valuable practical survival and being able to read the circumstance and adjudicate an action that is well above the physical age level he's at. That means to him, protecting you is by sharing only what you need in order to make an equal decision of survival and survival is to him an instant in time's allowance for decision making. When you face a person trying to kill you there's not a lot of time to discuss and debate matters. You move by instinct to keep breathing. So it's not him holding secrets to hide behind or to deceive, it's just how he managed to keep alive so that's how he lives during quiet times as well."

Sara had a "wow" look written all over her face and she was silenced for several moments while studying Slim's face as his words soaked through her brain. She slightly shook her head sideways.

"That makes wonderful sense, Slim. Thank you." She furrowed her eyebrows in a light frown but blinking slowly several times with misty eyes in both understanding Jess better and appreciation for Slim's insightfulness then put her hand softly on his. "You are a most remarkable man, Mr. Slim Sherman! Your perceptivity and ability to discern such deep things about another human being is so refreshing. I can understand why Jess trusts you so much. I would cherish having the same kind of friendship with you that Jess has. I think there is so much good inside Jess he has yet to discover and that's one of my priorities."

Slim topped her hand on his and patted it softly giving her his big, softy smile. "He needs more friends like you and I look forward to both of your goals."

Josie came into the kitchen to check on the ham in the oven and to add some potatoes to be baked and Jess was following her and headed to the coffee pot.

"So who won?" Slim asked.

"Huh!?...oh. He did. That daddy of yours, Sara, is one daggone master at poker. Just glad it was beans…."

"Did he tell you back when they first moved up here he won the Denver Invitational Poker Championship 8 times, 5 of them straight years in a row?"

"Nooo.!" Jess smiled to himself now not feeling so bad about losing, putting sugar in his coffee.

"It was a private event by word of mouth between all the cattlemen's associations between Canada and New Mexico from the Mississippi River to the Rocky Mountains. Mother says it took days to go through all the rounds of players in elimination. He claims it's something about being able to read the people and especially his 'tells,' whatever those are."

He shook his head chuckling as he took a sip his coffee which was too hot to drink. Then barely leaning his hip against the counter at the stove he sniffed the air once and swiveled to the stove and immediately picked up the closest lid to something simmering on the burner. Sure enough….the first lid he picked was Daisy's apple pie filling being prepared for dinner. He snapped in a smart turn fully to the stove and while holding the lid put the coffee cup down. Quickly he looked behind him to the living room wondering if Daisy was still out of sight to the kitchen. She was getting a tatting lesson from Maggie in the living room so he looked for a dipper and grabbed the closest spoon from the spoon rest. Next he looked for a bowl or cup to fill and Josie saw him clearly as if he were a hunting dog go on point, tail straight out behind and frozen so she whapped his hand with a towel.

"Put that down, it's for dinner."

The lid he was holding went clattering to the bare floor making a very loud clang and rolled into a corner where it circled like a gyro and finally landed flat. Sara watched snickering behind her hands amused at Jess fulfilling Daisy's pronouncement at his propensity to find apple pie filing anywhere …even in a kitchen loaded with aromas of warming a smoked ham, sweet potatoes, homemade bread and hot cranberry sauce.

"OW!" Jess yelled while waving the offended hand in the air as though she'd cut it off at the wrist Jess still had the dipper in the other hand.

She reached for the dipper trying to take it & missed. "Give that here. Daisy'll have my hide."

At first it was a pawing patty-cake between their hands. Josie was serious, and so was Jess – in twins equally matched in determination and spunk but acting like 1o year olds, only they were adults and her belly had a 6 month bulge. Then Jess' eyes began twinkling in tease. With a seriously puckered face smiling through a grin and his eyebrows arched in playful somberness, he raised it over his head and leaning back challenged Josie in a boyish voice of keep away, "Mine! I found it!"

"It's mine! Give it back!" If Josie had grown up without siblings you'd have never known it. She whined with her hands on her hips briefly, then kept reaching trying to pull at his clothes to bring his arm down because jumping is not an option at 6 months.

"Losers weepers, finder's keepers!" He was holding the dipper in his left hand high over his head and held in back of his head and fending her off with his free right hand and it looked exactly like they were in a fencing duel.

Slim was standing behind Jess both amazed and grinning at the pair of twins. They were acting like squabbling siblings and yet neither one of them had ever experienced it in their childhood now was oozing from them as adults. As 30 year olds it couldn't have been funnier; especially one of them 6 months pregnant. Smiling, Slim snuck up behind him and from his height advantage easily swooped it from Jess' hand. Jess pirouetted perfectly balanced trying to retrieve it as it left his hands for higher ground. Slim was holding it high over his head which meant it basically was touching the kitchen's horizontal support log beam.

"Mine! My house." He raised one arm against Jess' at chest level and with the other pointed the dipper at Josie and with his jaw set speaking like an Indian chief;

"My wife.." He stretched a strong arm returning it to Josie just daring Jess to argue, "..her kit chen."

She smiled triumphantly jutting her chin out swiped her scepter back beaming pride fully like a small child queen and bowed at the waist to Slim.

Jess' shoulders slumped in defeat. "Dadgum! What a man has to go through just to get some food."

Sarabeth was grinning and standing just to the side of Slim having stood and followed the activity. Jess saw her and quickly wrapped his arms over her shoulders gathering her.

"Mine!" He smiled at his twin and in-law brother and strutted back to the living room with Sara under his wing. Their fingers were intertwined hanging off her shoulder, his on top of hers. They smiled at each other and exchanged a sweet little peck and she nestled under his shoulder on the couch and picked up her knitting. Slim and Josie looked at each other and just grinned.

Jess got up three minutes later holding one finger up to Sara and he walked back to the kitchen but ran smack into Slim and Josie walking side by side arm in arm coming toward the living room. Slim did a quick half side step into Jess' path bringing him to a halt and Jess looked up through his eyebrows pointed into the kitchen and muttered,

"Forgot my coffee."

The pregnant newlyweds weren't fooled. One was a twin, the other his best pard and one who had reeled Jess in off the wide open because he was one of the few who could read Jess.

"I'll get it, Jess. You sit down." Josie volunteered sweetly cutting him off at the pass from sneaking back to the pot of apple brew.

Slim tugged her to the side out of his path refusing to release his side hold of her waist and smiled down at her,

"He's a big boy, Sweetheart…can serve his self." There was a wink in Slim's eye but not his eyelid.

And she smiled softly back in understanding and followed him as they continued to the living room releasing Jess to the kitchen without words or blocking him further. Both of them were already missing having Jess under foot in the house full time. Jess fixed his coffee and drank most of it because it had cooled. Then sneaking a peek over his shoulder he filled his mug with apple pie filling and covered it in cream stirring them together well and returned to the living room to covertly swig from it back on the sofa. As he sat down regathering Sara she peeked into his mug and Jess had his poker face back on like he was just enjoying coffee. Slim was watching him sit back down and Jess raised the cup as a toast and put it to his lips to drink. When Slim looked away, he smiled at Sara and offered her the mug for a swig and she accepted hiding her smile in the mug taking a nibble-sip, too.

CHAPTER 7: The New Generation of Shermans

January's weather, for Wyoming, was milder than most and sunny which made Josie happy. She wanted to keep in shape for the birth and would take daily walks around the middle lap lane. And she'd stop at the mare barn on each jaunt checking on the two Morgan mares, tracking in a log book their gestational days and progress filling with milk, shape of their bodies as the foals began turning headed for the exit. True to any good horsewoman, (ok and cowboy), she could tell by the mare's udders and restlessness when they were preparing to drop their foals. She kept everyone on their toes and had asked the hands to change out the stall straw as soon as she saw their restlessness peak and they went off their feed. The night of February 1 all bundled in coats and with lanterns hanging, Slim, Jess, Sara and Josie camped out with jugs of hot coffee and cocoa with blankets in the next stalls and got to witness the births of the ranch's first two Morgan foals. They knew they couldn't watch all of them born, but by-gum, they were gunna watch the first two. One came early in the night, the other one arrived by almost dawn and both mares dropped their first foals without help or struggle. Both were fillies and had identical color markings that would wind up matching their stud. Their plan was to add the Morgan breed attributes to Bolero's Thoroughbred/ Quarter Horse lineage and keep reinforcing back to the two studs in alternating years matching the breeding pattern Chuck used on his cattle. The purpose was to get a well-established cattle smart horse with a little more speed and endurance from the Thoroughbred and then more utilitarian pulling capacity and quiet disposition of the Morgan and further thinning down the Friesian in Bolero's DNA. Josie wasn't fond of the Quarter Horse "pushing peanuts on the ground with the nose" top line and wanted a horse with their eyes looking higher up like they were truly awake.

Also, by February 1st with her medical history Josie was on weekly trips to Denver for her baby doctor checkups in the upscale, warmer and very soft riding buggy Jess had the forethought to provide at Christmas. She was already having contractions and her tummy had blossomed even though her weight was still on the normal to light side. She was feeling activity for two as Jess had been hinting at and began waddling continually breaking everyone up in laughter at her running commentary over being broader than a barn or fully loaded hay wagon if she were mobile that day, and they'd better step aside or get run over. She had all the bathrooms mapped out and you didn't even think about getting between her and the nearest one when she'd start planning to head that way, which took at least 5 minutes. Most of the time she was reaching for Slim or Jess whomever was nearest for a hand up extraction from any sitting position. Jess still held there were twins, at least one was a boy and although he knew one was a girl, he kept that to himself because inside his self, the girl was bothering him and he worried because the twin dream kept repeating itself in portions. Slim didn't care how many he just wanted everyone to make it, have an easy time and be healthy and he was ready to go forward to the next phase. Daisy and Maggie were calm, Mike was getting excited to have a little brother or sister. The doctor strongly advised with her medical history that they take a hotel room the last week, or two if possible, in Denver to be close to the medical facility who had cured her and from which Dr. Tim associated while his emergency and rehab hospital was under construction. So Slim and Josie rented a double room and Maggie was planned to arrive a week before the due date. Daisy and Sarabeth ran the home scene and Jess was designated 'floater' where ever his nerves permitted and he was trying to concentrate on gentling a gelding called Slinger as a diversion. Due to his lack of focus he didn't do so well and Slinger was winning continually bucking Jess off. Jess was worse than Slim actually and Josie because he couldn't concentrate, sit down or settle on any one project longer than 30 seconds and he wasn't sleeping well. So to get away from the embarrassment in front of the cowboys for getting continuously bucked off of Slinger he arrived bringing Maggie two days plus 1 week early and they rented two more rooms in the same hotel. They arrived barely in time. The next morning, one week out from the due date, Jess began having severe low stomach cramps so bad he could barely walk complaining being beaten to death on Slinger, the green bronc. He went off his feed and rolled up in the bed. Naturally, everyone knew it was his empathy and they teased him mercilessly … from across the room. Josie was feeling pretty good, almost exhilarated like her honeymoon and had all kinds of energy, fluffing their motel room and was eating like a horse sampling everything on the room service menu. Slim got to the point with his wife who was the pregnant one flying high and his pardner nearly dying in pain, he went off his feed, too, out of sheer stress and confusion. Maggie tried to hold everything together but it was a challenge. She decided based on the history of Jess' blood used for Josie in the past, she'd been pushing Jess to drink lots of water or liquids and stay hydrated for the last 3 weeks. He could keep solid food down, so between the cramps and running to the potty from the excess liquids, he wasn't getting too far from his room. The second morning after Maggie and Jess arrived, Jess thought he'd peed his pants complaining about all the liquids Maggie was pushing, but everything was fine when he checked things out but was still having heavy "bronc bruises"…er..cramps. They'd come and go and double him over. He swore he was never going to be a woman and his attitude continued to degrade. Maggie made a clearly wise decision and she got Slim, Josie and Jess to the hospital and made them check Josie in 6 days early making sure the staff knew Jess was in tow and his attached medical record as a stand by blood donor. After checking her dilation, the medical staff agreed and no sooner had they finished the paperwork when her water broke. Jess had never heard about water breaking or how that's even done and later pulled Maggie aside to ask her why in the heck when it looked like a woman was finally going into serious business of producing the child did she have to go break ice in the water trough? Maggie chuckled to herself then told him the water breaking was the water in the womb suspending the baby and when it broke meant the baby was coming out. He was stunned but relieved it had been only empathy for him and was completely compassionate for Josie. Her labor began immediately and progressed very rapidly and instead of putting her in a room, they took her to the delivery center of the complex and sent a runner to retrieve her doctor. The other 3 were sent to the delivery waiting room where Maggie sat calmly reading literature and Slim and Jess paced like two studs in a tiny corral, only with Jess bent over and every once in a while he'd gasp and collapse into a chair. Slim tried very hard not to laugh, but it was really comical to see how such a tough cowboy who'd taken on so many gunfights and saloon brawls and been beaten to shreds countless times, who'd rode and been bucked off uncounted raw horses, somehow folded over on mere cramps. Of course Slim never felt cramps or labor pains, so what did he know?

Dr. Tim arrived very quickly and after only 7 hours of labor the assisting doctor came to the waiting room and happily announced the delivery of a bouncing 8 pound baby boy with blond hair with a great set of lungs who was extremely beautiful and in perfect shape and condition. Slim asked how Josie was doing and mid-sentence reporting she had done well a nurse came to the door in a hurry and called the doctor back in, they had a second baby coming through the chute. He disappeared without a trace. Believing he was going to be needed for blood donations, Jess stood up and began rolling up his sleeve. Dressed in surgical garb and gloves Dr. Tim backed through the door of the waiting room.

"Jess?! Is Jess here, Slim?" His voice was stressed but he was trying to hide it behind casualness.

Slim started to step aside but ran smack in the path of Jess who collided into his back trying to get around him. Slim staggered but managed to keep his feet and Jess was around him as though the collision never happened, not even off balance.

"Jes….." he never got the name said.

"Here, Tim…..I'm ready." Jess murmured into the air as he was hurrying through the door in front of Dr. Tim as though he was a trained physician being called in the umpteenth time to assist.

The Dr. started to follow when Slim caught his sleeve, then both elbows. He was wide eyed and scared to death.

"TIM! Tell me something!" Slim's face had drained of all color and now he was sweating profusely. Maggie got up and caught his elbow. They could tell Tim was in a hurry to get back into the room.

"There's a twin, we weren't sure was there and is in the birth canal. Josie started bleeding badly pushing on the second one and we're trying to save her so she can finish delivering the twin. If you had a choice?..."

"Oh, G…. Both of them Dr. I can't live if something happens to either." Slim was past white to ashen gray and tears were beginning to roll over his lower lids. He was squeezing both elbows of the poor doctor.

"If you know any prayers, Slim… now I've got to go."

He pulled free but it was a tug and Maggie tried to hold Slim but he slipped free and charged the door intent on following the doctor to be at Josie's side. Just as he got it opened 3 burly, huge male nurses caught him by the elbows and hauled him back into the room and pushed him into the sofa on the far wall and then took up guard duty at the door. Pushed into the sofa was the absolute worst thing you could have done to Slim. Daddy hormones were already fully activated and it only lit Slim's fuse. This is a man whose body had informed him Josie was going to be his soul mate the first 24 hours they'd met and to separate them with this? Huh..ah... ...nope…not a good idea. He. … and he's a very large mountain size man…. charged the three men and it was a fist fight rattling the walls before they finally body slammed him into the sofa again and slapped a pair of handcuffs to his wrist and the sofa. It was a heavy sofa and too large to fit through the door, but Slim managed to pull it across the room like it was the toothpick he was about to disintegrate it into. A medical person handed a huge needle 7" long through the doorway to one of the huge male nurses and he held it up 3 inches in front of Slim's nose. It was filled with a pink fluid so it was visible, but nobody told Slim it was colored water. More times than not the sight of any needle is visual enough that most men, especially birthing fathers pass out, but Slim is not most men.

"This…. will put you in sleepy town for 3 weeks. What's it gunna be?" The nurse had obviously been a muscle builder or heavy weight boxer, or a draft horse in his previous career and his voice was husky and deep.

Slim's forehead went up and wisdom finally got a foot hold and Maggie tenderly came from her corner and gently took Slim's free arm.

"You'll do her more good at her side later and that boy will need you, Slim." Her voice was calm and experienced and somehow did more to infuse peace into Slim's being than anything else.

Slim's jaw didn't relax but he sat down hard on the sofa dropping his head onto his hands on his knees, fighting tears. Josie, his babies and now Jess – all at risk out of sight and everyone helpless as a … kittens up a tree. The three bullies left and Maggie sat down next to his free arm and wrapped her arms around him and he sagged sideways into her hug sniffing.

Back in the delivery room in cowboy boots Jess was running to where he saw the crowd and still rolling up his sleeve believing they were just going to draw a pint to a bottle like before. A young, pretty nurse dropped in beside matching his pace.

"You need to remove the whole shirt. Jess isn't it?" She was unfolding a hospital gown as she ran.

"Ya, I'm Josie's twin and we're an exact blood match. My blood's saved her…." He was now ripping his shirt off and buttons were flying everywhere and the shirt dropped hanging by the tail from his pants.

"We know your medical record and Josie. Under shirt, too. You need to lay down on that bed so we can hook you up. You can leave your pants on but unbuckle your waist belt so nothing's binding anywhere."

Jess stopped so suddenly for just a second giving her a second look she ran past him a few steps. She obviously was too busy with her job and hadn't looked.

"Miss, that belt holds things up." He shook his head sideways just once, "It's not there to pull me in." He advised in all seriousness with his eyebrows arched to a point. He certainly didn't want to be hauling at his britches to keep them up over the non-existent hips. There were lives to be saved.

She blushed and then pointed to a gurney near the curtain that was hiding Josie and he jumped on the gurney without using his hands landing softly while he was busy with his arms and tugged the undershirt over his head. Unwatched by anyone his shirt came free of the britches and fell across the gurney. He could hear the medical talk but didn't understand it, and could hear beeping sounds and in the distance a baby crying. The nurse held the opened hospital gown and chased his arms feeding them through the openings as he was trying to see beyond the curtain distracted from helping her. This time she took a moment to admire the bared anatomy above the belt she was spreading the gown to cover and gave a side nod as her eyebrows went up ever so quickly in admiration wrapping the gown around and tying it behind him. He was right, there were no extra curves or fluff to hang clothes from and indeed the belt held the clothes up, not in. Then she went to his feet and started tugging to get his boot off.

"I'm just giving blood, lady, she's the one having the baby!" Jess' voice was an octave higher as he finished pulling the overly generous gown squarely over his shoulders and at the same time pointed to the curtain getting worried as all his clothes were disappearing. Suddenly he was glad he left the new belt at home or it would have disappeared with all the shiny stones.

Dr. Tim caught up as Jess was complaining and started working on sanitizing Jess' arm to hook him up. "Lay back Jess. We'll do a direct draw right to her live. Your gear is not sanitary enough to go in there because Josie's vulnerable to infection at this time." He nodded sideways at the delivery area and Jess' eyebrow went up in understanding Tim's cowboy lingo. Finally! Someone who spoke English. (cowboy)

They were his new, tight dress boots and it wasn't coming off easily so since her body was in the way preventing him from doing it, and time was of the essence, he frowned a smirk and turned her with his other boot tip on her hip and put his foot on her bum and gave her a shove. She fell forward taking the boot off and now knowing how to do it, came back into position straddling his leg taking the other one and looking away from him, she couldn't hold back a huge smile. Jess gave her "the boot" two. (sorry).

Jess may have laid down physically, but inside he was still vertical and in action. AND he may have been a cowboy sorta-past-gunfighter, but at this particular moment, he sounded all doctor. And it worked.

"What's her progress, Tim?" Jess sat up leaning back on his elbows the more Dr. Tim explained.

"There is a twin we weren't sure was there, the boy was in front hiding it. Josie started to push the second twin and began bleeding badly and has passed out. We've secured the bleeding blood vein but the second twin is stuck in the birth ca….the chute and is under duress. We have to stabilize Josie and then deliver the twin through her stomach. We may lose both, Jess. Be prepared." He took a strong look at Jess' face which was now frowning, his eyebrows arched this time in a frown. Tim gently pushed Jess back to laying down and began preparing to puncture Jess' vein.

"Take everything you need, Tim, even more than blood. Been loading up on fluids. I know the twin is a girl and she's tiny. Our ma almost died like this, and she made it and both of us lived. … I know my blood will save them both." They put an anesthetic cloth over Jess' nose and he sagged. "Never… give… up… Ti… Promi…me…."

As Jess sagged the nurses secured him to the bed and were monitoring his vitals and they wheeled him through the curtain where Josie was hooked up to all kinds of medical gear and she was as white as the sheets. From the time Jess flew through the door of the waiting room and was out cold and wheeled into the delivery area was at best one minute.

"I'm losing vitals on baby 2 ….." a nurse advised… "heart rate 30 and dropping fast…"

Under his breath and leaving all conscious connection to life as darkness folded in Jess moaned…. "C'mon bab..gir…I.. got the….lasso…."

{{{ FYI – this is the point where the original Part 3 stopped, but in my understanding and compassion for my readers and personally hating cliff hangers, I rearranged the dividing line for us. }}

Slim was a mess. From the tussle with the three security men three fourths of his shirt tail was hanging out of his pants and the sleeve was torn at his bicep, his hair was going every which way but Sunday, his face was red and every muscle in his face was rigid. His eye rims were red, his eyes were bloodshot and his lip had been bleeding from a fist cuff and not cleaned up. He was pacing slowly around the delivery ward's waiting room with his arms hugging his chest. The furniture was still askew except for one side chair that he had righted for Maggie and she was sitting in it watching him compassionately in silence at a loss to know what to do to help the poor daddy helplessly trapped for centuries in the waiting room of a delivery ward. A small framed female nurse on purpose the size of a large child had been sent into the room with the handcuff key and she was scared to death as though sent into the lion's den. From an extended reach, she had uncuffed the towering Slim from the sofa because he had given his word to behave, but his mouth was puckered as he looked down his body at the top of her head. He could have picked her up with his pinky finger she was that petite. It had been an eternity, hours of labor waiting for the firstborn twin, now another 3 hours since Jess had been called back for a blood transfusion. Births were supposed to be happy events, Slim thought to himself swiping a disobedient tear from his cheek. So what had gone so infernally wrong and why in tarnation is it taking so long to get a tiny baby out of his wife's stomach….she's so small, heck they're both tiny, it's not like crossing a desert or whole country.

The door swung open and Dr. Tim and his buddy, the baby specialist, came into the room. They were still in their sweat and blood marked surgical garb minus masks, hats and had white gloveless hands. They quickly righted some of the furniture as they smiled and pulled up a grouping of chairs close to Maggie and gestured for Slim to come sit down. Dr. Tim had both hands in the air gesturing for them to be still and give a chance to start talking. At first still with crossed arms Slim reluctantly glared at them as though facing off in a gunfight, but he finally gave in and sat on the front edge of the chair. Well, he plopped down hard and Maggie leaned forward patting his knee.

"They are all out of danger, Slim – Maggie. Josie's fine and awake but sore and groggy and the second twin made it, a little girl. They both came through like real fighters! We hurried as much as possible…" Tim purposefully captured Slim's eye contact and held it with consternation… " …. Slim, but we wanted to do right and a complete medical support for her and the twins and we have to move at a pace that's healthy for all three of them. So the patients are the ones who control the time. We can't just grab a baby like shopping for food at the market. Giving life is a process. The body has to move through for the transfer of life support from inside the womb and the mother and to the infant outside the womb to begin learning and doing that life support on its own. That takes time for an infant as it's one of the first things that infant has to learn coming into the outside world." He repeated it for the new daddy to grab the full comprehension. "The baby has to discover he needs to breathe on his own and just how to do that. Since the baby has to learn how, it can take minutes. I know that's the hardest on the daddy being helpless standing by, but you're out numbered." Dr. Tim offered a small smile with his own raised eyebrows….. "So I really want to thank you for sacrificing your heart by allowing them the time they needed both for Josie to release and for the twins to learn to breathe on their own." Dr. Tim's face was full of compassion seeing the haggard face of the new daddy and the torn up room.

"Well… I can appreciate that, Tim. I hadn't considered that." Slim muttered trying to get his jaw unclamped yet still in a pout. "Do whatever you have to with me, they are the priority." Slim's jaw was still tight but what Tim said was exactly what Slim needed to hear. Being clueless to medical things, his daddy heart was gradually grasping the truth of it and of itself somehow immediately began righting his world again. Tears of comprehension verged on his lower eyelids and some color returned to his face and Maggie patted his elbow sympathetically. Tim paused for a moment waiting to see Slim's shoulders drop and relax and that was followed by Slim heaving in a sigh of air for the first time in 12 hours. Tim was waiting for the assist of oxygen to help the young daddy and for a young doctor, Tim's bedside manner was impeccable and Slim discovered first hand why Jess had cooled off back at the buckboard disaster. After Slim blinked several times, Tim continued.

"To explain what happened so that you understand, Josie delivered the boy normally and quite quickly for a first born. He is fine because he was in position and a perfect little baby boy. A woman's womb has limited space and being deeper into the womb the little girl was not quite lined up. As she started through she hit a pressure point inside Josie who then pushed too hard which broke a blood vessel. But we able to immediately control it, brought Jess into play, and then decided for safety sake and not risk any further bleeding by her pushing, to bring the second twin back through her stomach. That's the new area of medicine, but is also Dr. Jake's specialty. This procedure is a cut into her stomach and once we have the baby removed everything is sewn back together and heals as though she had any other kind of surgery. So she's going to be in bed or off her feet with limited walks until she heals.

We were able to control the loss of blood until we got Jess hooked up, then were able to proceed with the surgery. Both twins are full term which is wonderful especially since there were two. The second baby twin is a girl just like Jess said she'd be, she's simply smaller. From the stress going both ways before she came, she needed a full transfusion, which you know Maggie, is about 1 cup of blood and Jess was able to immediately provide that amount and she's becoming stronger by the minute. All we can safely take in blood from Jess is 1 pint, which you know, is 2 cups. So we had to closely monitor enough for both the girl and still have enough for Josie's surgery. For precaution because it was a lengthy birth, the girl twin is being assisted with oxygen but she is breathing it on her own, she is nicely pink, and to give her everything possible, for the next two days we will have her under 24/7 nurse care and constant observation to complete her live birth procedure. We will do another blood count on her before she is released from the hospital. We had to do a relatively new procedure and bring her back into Josie's womb because we could control Josie's bleeding better by not having her push. We didn't want her pushing and risk breaking any more blood vessels against the limits of Jess' available draw. The womb and that entire area of a woman's body goes through a relatively rapid expansion and stretch. With some women, they have strong blood vessel walls, other women can have more delicate ones, no two women are alike, so we work with what Josie's body can do safely and at the speed her body can keep up with. In the case of twins, mothers report an even more sense of overcrowding, tightness and pressure, plus there would be additional expansion and the mother has to produce more blood for two babies over one.

The next question is can she have more children? The answer is most probably yes as long as she complies with her healing procedures now. Dr. Jake (he gestures to his buddy) specialized in college in advanced birthing techniques and while this type of surgery birth has been attempted for years, it's dangerous and often not successful. We're ahead here because we had a supply of blood from Jess and Jake's advanced studies and specialty on this type of medical intervention. So we're doggone lucky he agreed to come out here and work with me, AND we're luckier Jess was a blood match and standing by."

"Jess?" Slim and Maggie asked at the same time.

Tim took a deep breath. "He's in recovery and breathing on his own with oxygen assist. You're aware of Jess' shall we say, eager helpfulness, so we anesthetized him during the procedure and he's still sleeping it off. We had to use a live transfer of the blood which is closely monitored, but there was Josie's surgery plus the cup needed for the baby girl, and we had to move quickly. So with a quick loss and likely just over the pint maximum, he's in an unconscious state typical to when a brain shuts down all extra-curricular activity to concentrate on supporting the vital organs."

"Like after the surgery on the buckboard accident?" Slim's voice quivered remembering when Jess had gone into shock during their first trip to the DKBS after looking over the bulls.

"Exactly that. The body manufactures blood constantly at quite a fast rate, but the brain has an over ride switch that automatically protects the internal organ functions that are priority to life. Once the volume builds back up the brain brings consciousness back and voluntary activity resumes. We just have to be patient. As well as you both know Jess, having him in a semi-conscious state will keep him from fighting with everyone to get out of bed too soon, so there's a blessing side of this, too."

Slim understood completely in his head, but his heart was not happy yet there was no argument for keeping Jess restricted for his own good sometimes.

"Is there any long term problems from the sudden loss of that much blood?" Maggie's semi-nursing training from back in the day was active.

"There's always the possibility of some brain damage if the brain itself loses too much blood for its work. Because we only had Jess as a match and have two patients we were very careful. He's young and his body has been through several of these blood losses before, so we'll just keep positive thoughts going. He is under constant monitoring as well, purely precautionary. I also need to let you know, we may need a little more blood from him for the girl twin in the near future until she's up to a solid birth weight…so we're doing everything possible for Jess. He's a pivotal ingredient in this equation."

"Without him would Josie and the baby girl have lived?" Slim asked.

Dr. Tim looked at his associate who pursed his lips and shook his head no as he answered. "We lose too many cases like this simply because we don't have the system yet for the blood this type of need raises. You are extremely lucky to have such a nearby and an exact blood match."

"And the baby boy?" Slim asked hesitatingly, his heart very heavy.

"That first twin, the boy, is in perfect shape, strong, healthy, beautiful, good set of lungs. He was a determined little cowboy in a hurry to get here, in perfect line to the exit and was the easiest part of all this. Part of the problem was he was in the front part of her womb and in position to come, but the baby girl was smaller and she'd been riding behind him in Josie's lower back and a little to her left side. Kinda in his shadow so to speak. That's why we had not been able to get a good reading on a fetal heartbeat confirming she was even there. Josie's not an overly large woman to begin with so the baby girl didn't have the room to have fully turned. It would be like holding onto his heel she'd gone into the chute sorta cockeyed and being more folded up was stuck causing Josie to feel such an urge to push. The force of the push started the bleeding before we could get up into the womb and reposition the girl for a better exit. You work cattle Slim, I'm sure you know that procedure say on a breech presentation. The baby girl wasn't breech, she just wasn't fully turned. It's all pretty technical, I hope you can get the picture. She's a little fighter, though, dad gummit. Little boy's blond and she's got a headful of dark hair."

"She's like her momma." Slim's eyes were leaking again but he began breathing a little steadier.

"And her uncle." Maggie added touching her temple to Slim's bicep as support.

"How large is the incision and where?" Slim quickly swiped a leak from the corner of his eye but quickly itched his ear to hide the move.

Dr. Jake drew a line on his body, "It's low about here over her womb and about yea long which will shrink as her abdomen reduces from the swelling of pregnancy and birth. Everything went back together very neatly and without stress and the scar will fade over time. She is in amazing physical condition and young, her blood count is right on target so I anticipate no problems whatever. It was a very clean and well controlled surgery, a very wise decision having her here and ready when her water broke. With a known blood donor, and from what I've studied of her medical notes, she's even ahead of the game with Jess' known blood components having helped her in the earlier events. I wish all my patients had such an advantage in blood supply. I feel very confident from how well her surgery went, her health and what I saw bringing her back together, that future children should be quite possible. I would suggest waiting a year or two to give her body a chance to heal and then recondition itself. I understand she had a miscarriage before this, so with the stress of a twin delivery, her emotional wellbeing would be the future determining factor. Some women can produce many babies, others it takes a lot of emotional and hormonal stress. So it'll be up to Mrs. Sherman."

"I would love her and any scars she has simply for what they stand for and what she has done and can assure you any more children will be her decision, but both her and her twin love children and are great with them….and you know, Tim, they are both bull-headed. I do want to thank everyone for what you've done. May I see them…..all? Slim stood up leading the group to their feet unwilling to be forced to remain separated and offering strong handshakes to the two doctors.

"We figured. They should be all cleaned up back there by now so she'll feel pretty for you. That always seems to be a key factor with new mothers. You can be with Josie, as she continues to wake up. The two babies are in the nursery across the hall from her room except for feeding time with their momma. That way she can have some immediate time to begin healing. Jess is not out yet, we're monitoring him and trying to warm him back up. Soon as we get his body temperature back up and levelled, you can see him. He could be unconscious though for several hours yet as the anesthesia wears off."

"Just let me be with them. Her too." He grabbed Maggie's elbow firmly determined to not let go of her moral support and the doctors escorted them back into the room where Josie was sleeping.

As they walked Maggie gestured to Slim "for Josie" to tuck in his shirt and she offered her hanky for his lip. But without stopping he used his red bandana, quickly tucked in his shirt and combed his hair back just as they reached her bedside. Nurses were floating nearby on stand by for anything needed. Josie was very pale, but there was a peach tinge to the top of her cheeks as color was gradually coming back and Slim leaned over her and kissed her lips very lightly as tears fell off his cheek landing on her pillow just missing her face. Maggie sat down on a chair by the door as support but to give them some privacy. As soon as she felt Slim's kiss on her lips Josie's eyes slowly batted open still groggy from the anesthesia and blood loss. Her voice was soft and trembled lightly as she recognized her big man whose eyes had slammed shut and locked up on him with more tears falling overboard. Just seeing her breathing and her complexion pinking up broke the dam and it took every ounce of discipline Slim had to keep from breaking in an all-out cry. But as soon as her voice began somehow his eyelids unlocked and strength began to pour through his veins.

"My babies?" Was more of a whisper.

"They're fine. Big boy with a little girl chasing him. She's tiny and needed Jess' blood but breathing on her own and getting stronger by the hour." Somehow Slim's voice was steady. He surprised himself, but became more convinced it was just getting in action again and seeing Josie breathing restarted his heart … and hopes. The wet eyes was something he couldn't fully control.

She started to try to sit up but before Slim's hand holding her down could tighten, she grimaced at the pain and laid back sucking air through her teeth.

"Ooo…..ow. Whoaa, Josie girl." She was coaching herself then motioned to Slim to raise the head of her bed and he searched and found the handle and slowly cranked it up.

"You had to have surgery, Josie, they had to go in and get the girl, so lay still. You need anything, I want you to ask, don't do. I want you to do everything they tell you. It's important so consider it an order from me." She was, of course, too woozy yet to comprehend orders from anybody.

"Jess? I gotta know, Slim."

"He's asleep and resting like you need to do."

"I need to see my babies…where… where is Jess. …..what happened?" She was still groggy from the anesthesia.

Maggie approached the bed and took Josie's other hand softly.

"The nurses are taking great care of the babies, their first little bath, weighing and making notes starting a medical file for each one. They will bring them in very shortly for you to feed them shortly. Just relax. You've done all the hard part. The nurses are here to help take care of both you and the babies so you can get a head start on healing."

"I hope they come pretty doggone fast, I'm about to burst and they hurt!" she blurted out with a pout as she checked out her gown which was cockeyed and adjusted the covers.

Slim wasn't quite sure what was about to burst. "I'll get the doc."

Wide eyed heading back into panic he started to turn to run for help but Josie wouldn't turn loose of his hand and Maggie quickly gestured to Slim with her other hand to stop and then she waved at her um…. spickets. Slim's forehead went up and he blushed then nodded getting the idea and they smiled at each other over Josie's bluntness. Josie squirmed just slightly in the bed getting more comfortable and each minute that went by she became more focused.

"I remember the first baby came fast and easier than I thought. Then something heavy landed on my tailbone and I saw stars. Dadgum, Slim, it was either breathe or push so I just had to push and then everything went black. What happened?" she gingerly tried to shove some of her long hair back off her face that had escaped the hospital cap. Finding the hat, she pulled it off and gave it a dirty look and Maggie took it from her and laid it on a side table.

"Would you like me to braid your hair, Josie?" Maggie offered gently and Josie nodded quickly.

"Would you please? I would be so grateful!"

Slim was still pretty rocky and his memory was barely floating so he started stammering and looked to Maggie for help. As Maggie worked on the braid she gave the details, soothingly working on Josie's head.

"You were carrying twins, a boy in front who was hiding a little girl behind him in your lower back. The boy was in position and came easy, but the girl didn't have room to fully turn and she got stuck. That's the pressure you felt. Before they could reach in and reposition the girl you started bleeding and they came out for Jess, hooked him up for a transfusion, they got you stabilized and had to go in and retrieve the baby girl through surgery in your stomach. That's why your tummy hurts and you need to stay quiet so it will heal."

"Wow. Did the girl need blood, too? Why is Jess not here?" Her brain was still trying to come on line.

Maggie began to believe Josie's twin empathy was detecting a problem and would worry her further stressing the event, especially without having details. She'd learned that much about Harpers dealing with their mother Sarah back in the day.

"The girl needed blood and they took a little more from Jess for her. They've got him tied down in a bed until his body can replace what they took. They're not taking any chances with him either because he's your only blood match and they want him available if the baby needs any more."

"Is she in danger?"

"Not particularly, but all babies are carefully monitored during their first few days. She's tiny and it was stressful for her, too, but she's breathing on her own and they are monitoring her just as a precaution. That's routine and expected and always done for a twin birth like this. These people know what they're doing, Josie. You don't need to worry. It's your turn to begin enjoying motherhood."

Josie's hormones were not levelled out yet and she bordered between tears and happy anticipation.

"I…he's done so much saving my life several times….I…he doesn't stop and I worry he'll over give one time and I'll lose him. Just love him soooo much….it hurts sometimes….. in here." She pointed to her heart. "With him it's all or nothin' …..doesn't know when to stop." She whined sweetly and waved aggravatedly into the wind.

"Nothing half way about Jess, for sure." Slim affirmed under his breath.

"Thank you for being honest with me, Maggie, that helps." She sniffed back the tears still pulling at her thin gown and added with Maggie having finished her braid. "Thank you, that feels so much better. They certainly need a consult with gown designers, this…!" She looked at Maggie with a forlorn look very similar to Jess' arched eyebrows and lightly giggled.

A nurse appeared coming into the room carrying an 8 pound bundle who was fussing and kicking in his blanket.

"I got a little cowboy here who thinks his dinner is overdue. Wow, he even looks like his daddy!" She held him up so they could see his blonde hair topped round face. He looked exactly like a miniature Slim. "Who wants him first?"

Slim smiled big sucking in air lightly through his teeth and through tears at the first sight of his son, recognizing the miniature image of the mirror he looked in every day. But in fear of breaking the little guy he pointed immediately to Josie with both hands and she had both arms extended and fingers wiggling and she was tearing with joy.

"C'mere little man! Momma's got ALL you need." She cooed and fumbled with her unfamiliar gown as the other arm took the little wiggling cowboy was being positioned on her by the nurse. Slim was blushing and started to leave so she could have privacy and Maggie smiled at both of them.

"Where do you think you're going, Daddy!" Josie frowned at Slim. "You get back here…you started this you know." She adjured as she seemed to just naturally know what to do and plugged the little guy up to her spicket. The little bloke latched right on and Josie groaned in relief and pleasure while Slim blushed even deeper and sat down tentatively on the corner foot area of her bed trying to not fidget or look. He sat a little too close to the edge and almost fell off it having to catch his self.

"Where's my little girl?" Josie asked the nurse who was a little amazed at a new mother going right to work and her immediate success.

"They are drying her from her bath then will be measuring her so she's next when he's done. After that we'll try to work toward a point to alternate them an hour or so apart for the first few weeks until you get into a schedule."

"Have you seen Jess? Her twin….the blood donor?" Slim asked.

"Sorry, I'm full time to the babies. He'd be under another nurse's care. It's been quiet though, so that's a good thing. Do you have names picked out or are we starting with Boy and Girl Sherman?"

Slim gestured to Josie. "We have names." But he pointed to Josie to do the honors.

Josie was stroking the little pooper's cheek in adoration watching him go to town on the dinner. "This is Matthew Slim Sherman, after daddy's daddy. And the girl is Jessica Josephine Sherman after her uncle who saved her life."

"Matt and Jessie…. Sounds good. We'll get the paperwork done later. Is he full yet?"

"Yes…he's just living the moment. I need to burp him, right?"

The nurse handed her a small towel and Josie lifted him right to it getting an immediate resounding belch. All the initial crying only helped matters getting air into his airway.

"Is Daddy next for a hold?" She looked at Slim expecting he might want to hold his son but Slim waved her off still deathly afraid he might crush the little guy in his big hands.

"Better get the….. Jessie in….do human mothers have colostrum like mares, you know that first draw with extra vitamins and such?" Slim diverted the topic with a question.

"Yes they do, Daddy. That's what's going on right now. Ok, stand by for Jessie…. You'll want to use the other…." She gestured at Josie's other spicket and Josie began arranging her gown as the nurse left.

"You seem quite comfortable with this process, Josie." Maggie was as curious as Slim.

"My first year of college I considered becoming a nurse so I volunteered one summer at the south Denver hospital's baby unit to check it out. Got to see all the new babies and mommies, nurses teaching new mommies how. Never dreamed after all this I would finally get my chance."

The nurse arrived with Jessie. She was about 5 pounds and restless but more quiet. The nurse held her up to see, too, and Slim fully melted into tears wiping them off on his bandana as Josie eagerly took her. Jessie had a full head of very dark, very curly hair in 2 inch ringlets and was thin through her face matching her mother and uncle. She took a little more arranging and re-positioning her and a couple tries at latching on, but once the juices began flowing, Jessie went to work as eagerly as her twin and then Josie lost it in tears. Slim stood back up and went to the head of the bed, leaned over and kissed Josie's head. Josie looked up at him and they kissed and whispered something to each other.

"I was in the delivery room with you Mrs. Sherman. Jessie was in the back of your womb and wasn't quite in position, and she was born two hours behind her brother. You should expect she might be just a few seconds behind her brother in catching on to the ideas. It's not that she's handicapped, with a fraternal twin, their conceptions happen separately and she's just an hour or so younger, or several hours even." The nurse was an older woman and seemed quite experienced. "Just be patient with her and don't expect them both to move and do in exact copies of each other. Keep in your mind you had two separate babies at the same gestation event. They are not identical. Their appetites, volume of food and their export will be different, too. I show you how to track their progress against their own records and not compared to each other. Matthew is already almost 3 pounds ahead and a female twin is not likely going to ever make up that difference."

Maggie was nodding in agreement. Slim's head went up in understanding and relief and Josie was back to busy rubbing Jessie's bum and kissing her forehead while she dined more ladylike than her brother's chugging. Slim was still crouched over his two females and finally got up enough nerve and fingered Jessie's curly hair. Josie grinned and looked at Maggie then Slim,

"Matthew ate like a boy cowboy…just going right in there. She's dining like a lady." Josie giggled.

The hospital requested family to be patient and wait 48 hours out from the birth before visiting due to the surgery event opening the body and because it was winter wanting no outside exposure for contagious transfers. Plus they seemed to be trying to buy time regarding Jess' continued unconsciousness. Slim, Josie and Maggie were seeing an under layer of tension regarding his delayed waking and were worried. By the next morning they finally prevailed on the doctors to take them to Jess' room wherever they had hidden him and with Josie hunkered over in a supported exercise walk getting her back to her feet, they went to Jess' room across the hall. He was in the first room at the edge of the nursery in a semi-intensive care section due to Jessie's observation in case they needed him fast.

Jess was stretched flat on his back in the bed hooked up to medical things and Slim wasn't sure how many were real and how many were 'excuses' to use on the moment to keep Jess in the bed once he woke up. His normally very tanned face was pale and had been kept groomed and while he looked asleep, it was obvious he was being tended. The longer they were in the room, the more they noticed the traffic of young, pretty nurses who kept going by intending to stop into the room carrying extra pillows, cups of ice, pillows, blankets, pillows, etc., but finding them there, more pillows, pulled up at the door and then kept going down the hall. But when Slim first saw Jess he stopped in his tracks rolling his eyes in immediate concern taken back seeing Jess helpless and flat, spread out under a sheet and sturdy enough blankets but definitely NOT wearing street clothes. Slim had never seen Jess that helpless or pale and it hit him deep inside, he wasn't sure where, it's just a ton of weight dropped into his legs and they quit moving. Josie and Maggie's hands covered their mouths and Josie actually went wobbly and Slim caught her and got her seated in a chair next to the head of his bed. An older nurse maybe a smidge younger than Daisy's age was close by seemed to be the attending guard, er… nurse, no doubt a wise move by experienced male doctors in charge of the floor. This nurse was definitely middle aged and wearing a scratched up wide wedding band. There was a large stack of pillows behind this nurse on the ledge…apparently from previous deposits.

"Has he made any movement or …." Slim's voice gave out.

"His breathing has become deeper and more regular and he partially opens his eyes but they are not quite focused yet. I believe he's awakened but just not focused yet. We were easily able to get his body temperature back up and holding yesterday and his fluids are in the acceptable range. The anesthesia wore off on time and all of his vital numbers are normal, even his blood pressure has returned to text book." The nurse explained. "Today he's been groaning and his legs will move, not sure if he's running or what. Don't know why he might indicate pain, doctors have checked him out thoroughly and can't find anything wrong."

"So he's making progress?" Maggie asked.

"Yes, I would say so, he was never in crisis. Just hard to tell with the amount of blood he gave. The body does its own and you just have to be patient. Are you the twin he gave blood for?"

Josie nodded tearing up. "And for my baby gir…" she remembered Jess using that nickname and couldn't finish saying it.

"Those must be your two gorgeous twins, then."

"Yes."

Slim had a light bulb moment with an idea.

"Do you suppose they would bring Jessie in here?"

"I'll sure find out." She left the room eagerly as though willing to try anything.

"What are you up to Slim?" Maggie's interest was intrigued.

Josie was near tears staring at her pale twin on a hospital bed and Slim wasn't far behind her and he put his arm around her from the side trying to reassure her.

"He's probably just exhausted, Josie. He's been pulled through a knot hole experiencing this twin empathy." Maggie tried to reassure them and herself.

The nurse was back almost within the minute since the neo-natal section was so close and she had little Jessie bundled all tucked in a blanket and she was fussing at being disturbed. She wasn't crying, more like a hissing sound and wiggling.

"Somebody wasn't through with her nap, but here she is."

Slim fiddled with his hands not yet comfortable picking up his baby yet and afraid he'd hurt her.

"Just keep her head supported, Slim, keep your hand under her neck, she'll be fine." Maggie quietly coached.

Slim hesitated taking a quick "are you sure" glance at Maggie's grinning face and then after a few seconds waving in the air he managed to take her gently, turned her onto her stomach and laid her softly face down on Jess' chest. In the process, whether or not he'd admit it, he looked very fatherly and accomplished the move as though he had tons of experience. Jessie squirmed for just a moment like she was hearing his heartbeat and then nestled in much like Sasha would do, and she quieted immediately stopped squirming.

"There's a surprise." Slim smiled very lightly and kinda proud of his successful maneuver.

"What?" Maggie asked.

"That she settled so fast."

"That surprises you?" Josie asked.

"No, that's just it. Doesn't….he's got such a natural knack with kids." Slim explained. "You remember how all those school kids just crawled all over him." Slim was referring to an event where Daisy had been teaching the Laramie school kids and brought them to the ranch on a field trip. Most of them were ranch kids, some city kids and the majority were Mike's age group. During the event Jess had joined in showing them all around the ranch and he had organized them into teams at his feet helping him do chores, well doing his chores FOR him. Some were taking turns riding his shoulders. Later in the house about 6 of the smaller ones were in a row riding his back with him on his hands and knees like a horse. It had been a hilarious time and Daisy thought she'd lost Jess back to childhood. Then he remembered that was before Josie arrived. "Well, maybe that was before you got there."

"So you're working on her or him?" Maggie was confused.

"Him!" Slim pointed at Jess. "We'll see if the empathy thing is generational. She doesn't weigh anything, maybe 5 pounds?" He glanced briefly at the nurse who nodded yes.

Josie and Maggie quickly figured out what Slim was doing trying to access Jess' subconscious with any carry over twin empathy. Well, ya know, sometimes pards who have become daddy have some pretty daggone good ideas….and it worked. Jess groaned lightly and his legs moved, raising them bent at the knees then went down straight again. Josie gestured for Slim to keep a hand on Jessie's back to stabilize her from the movements and Slim lightly laid his huge hand covering her entire back so she couldn't roll off and Jessie seemed to lengthen and stretch lower onto her tummy. It wasn't a minute later and Jess' eyelids flickered open and closed and back open staring at the ceiling and trying to focus. It was hard because when he opened his eyes, the room was spinning and he was dizzy. So the hand nearest to Slim came up and began rubbing his forested eyelashes trying to unglue them.

"Jess?" Slim called softly. "Wake up, Slingshot."

"Sssl….." Jess' throat was parched dry so it was barely audible.

Maggie found and handed a small glass containing small ice chips and a spoon to Slim but his hands were full and he motioned for Maggie to do it. She assumed the nurses had been feeding him ice for awhile. She moved his head slightly to one side so the ice would land inside on his cheek, put one chip on Jess' lips and he opened his mouth taking it quickly, confirming to her they'd been hydrating him. So she fed him several more which were quickly consumed.

"Jess!" Slim tried softly again.

"Slim…" His hand came up feeling Slim's body at the side of the bed. His eyes flickered open enough to see Slim's face then quickly closed again in dizziness.

"Da…gm…. Ssl….m." He swallowed hard. "Hurtin' bad." He wheezed in a whisper.

His legs bent at the knees again this time slowly coming fully up and with his knees together seemed to be comforting his um…..roots. It also changed the gravity on his lower back in a flat, hard hospital bed.

"ol' Slinger got me didn't he?" His eyes stayed closed and he groaned in between short gasping breaths. "Musta landed..… dadg…. saddle….. horn!" One bent leg sank sideways half staff crossing his body and pertinent parts.

Josie and Maggie and the attending nurse looked at Slim and he quietly interpreted,

"Slinger's a bronc he's been trying to break just before coming here. I'm guessing from the empathy to Josie's labor he was feeling in the waiting room, he's remembering pain in that area thinking he came down wrong hitting the saddle horn and got bucked off."

The nurse and Maggie winced then agreed nodding definite agreement and understanding.

Jess groaned again and of course was completely unaware he was in a hospital and around people. He began to feel a slight weight on his chest and slowly began to bring his hand onto his chest.

" … got … ribs, too?"

His big hand ran into baby Jessie's body napping on his chest.

"What the….. ? Sash?...len…ah…"

Jess tried again to get his eyes open and fight against the dizzying room and lifted his head trying to see what was on his chest. It wasn't working very well and he had to quickly lay his head back down and shut his eyes. His other hand came up working on the temples and head while the first hand was lightly feeling the boxy bundle of something warm on his stomach.

"Wake up, Slingshot….your niece wants to meet you."

"My what?"

"Niece."

"Your baby girl niece." Josie added softly and now leaning at the edge of her chair touching Jess' shoulder and fighting tears.

"Baby girl" got through the fog but the room was still spinning with the open eyes and he blinked hard in between moments of closed eyes to focus on the little bundle.

"Dadgum….head….somebody pull up the reins …hold the room still!" Jess muttered.

He tried to open his eyes and lift his head again this time a little further then groaned softly and passed out momentarily.

"Ohh…not aga..." it was barely a whisper and his legs slid slowly back flat onto the bed.

"Just how much blood did they take out of him?" Slim shot a frown at the nurse. She hesitated.

"Well, the maximum you can take is a pint, and they monitored that on the live feed for the delivery. But then they needed a cup for the baby girl once they got her out." She gestured at the baby.

"No wonder he's …." Maggie clamped her jaw down cutting off her statement, annoyed but not wanting to upset Slim or Josie.

Josie dropped her head on her arm on the bed immediately fighting hormonal tears. "I knew it! He'd….die to save us!" She was barely above a whisper but her birthing hormones were still raging in exaggeration. She had latched onto his bicep and was holding on very tightly.

Back to level Jess quickly began to come around groaning and the legs slowly came back up one at a time walking up the bed back to comfort his roots again. There was actually nothing wrong with them. It's just the brain registers pain but his was not focused enough to sort between real pain and the ghost empathy pain from memory just before the births. It didn't help matters lying flat out on an open, hard bed with no Wentworth featherbed or downy filled comforters and in light weight hospital gowns, tends to leave body parts feeling exposed and uncovered….even cold.

"She's .. here? …. was fast." It was still barely audible and he tried harder to focus, one hand over his eyes and the other balancing on the baby opposite Slim's paw.

Still annoyed Maggie walked briskly to the nearest window and closed the shade down taking some of the brightness off of Jess' face and that helped. Jess peeked through his hand.

"Can you raise my head somehow?" He asked quietly. "A little cool in here."

Eager to oblige the nurse grabbed some nearby pillows from the volunteered stack on the next bed sitting next to a stack of extra blankets. With Maggie, one of Slim's hands and herself, she gently loaded three nicely stuffed thick pillows under his shoulders and head while Jess maintained his hand on the baby and closed his eyes against more movement. They got him nearly into a full seated position. The nurse then grabbed some more pillows and tucked them under Jess' knees and Maggie found two more blankets folded nearby on another empty bed and covered his lower half. Jess wheezed huge sighs of relief especially with the heat from the blankets. After a moment adjusting to the dimmer light and new altitudes, his focus began to get better as long as he didn't move any direction very fast. With Slim's hands hovering nearby Jess gently took a good look focusing on the bundle then took her by the rib cage and tenderly turned her right side up so he could see her face and laid her back against his raised thighs. She was sleeping wrapped tightly to support her head but that didn't matter too much because next to her tiny 5 pounds, his large hands completely encased her, fingertips on both her head and bum in his palms. Then he looked at Josie quickly then to Slim.

"and the boy?" His eyebrows were arched.

"Fine. Sleeping getting ready for supper." Slim smiled at Jess who nodded very slightly and was back to studying Jessie's face. He began to manage small moments of focus without the spinning room as long as he moved slowly.

"Well, dadgum….looky you baby girl! She's so tiny!" His voice was soft, deep speaking slowly as his brain came online. He slowly looked around the room at everyone's faces then back to Jessie, fascinated with her miniature size.

"Told ya…. I'd get you.. here!" His voice was the deep timbre he cooed to horses and silky smooth but it broke apart as the concept left his mouth.

She gurgled a happy sound softly in her sleep and that's all it took. Jess melted and he leaned his face into her tummy and pulled her into a hug wrapped his arms around her completely engulfing her tiny body in his and cried softly into the blanket and she gurgled louder. A very deep, long groan of release came all the way from his toes as though releasing some invisible inner afterbirth sack was being slowly peeled out from somewhere deep inside his being. Everyone else in the room lost tears, too. Jess was receiving the visual confirmation of all the baby empathy he'd struggled through trying to understand weird events in his body for 9 months now actually alive and breathing in his hands. It was endearing to the two ladies and they smiled at each other through tears of joy, but for some reason it hit Slim the hardest seeing Jess affected that deeply. Not that he was upset, but next to seeing Josie in her wedding gown come through the chapel doors it was moments Slim would relish. He was watching the toughened, scar-ridden, battle hardened former gunfighter and confirmed bachelor basically helpless and nearly naked in a hospital gown turned into a puddle of emotion, finally experiencing some positive emotion with a blood relative. And it was over something Slim's body had produced. Not something he said, or some momentous act of courage, or from some wealthy deep pocket like buying a ranch. This tiny, fragile and completely helpless and just newly alive and breathing part of Slim's body was finally giving Jess a very deep, huge, healthy injection of family bonding that Jess had never experienced yet had such a propensity for. Healthy blood-related events had been repeatedly ripped from his life always, always peeling healthy tissue away leaving scars on his soul. Slim had to turn away from the women and wipe his eyes with the butt of his thumb, but his other hand was trembling as it continued standing by in hover mode over his daughter in case it was needed.

"'Course…." Jess sniffed. "…. your mommy did a little bit, too." Jess tried to reel in his emotions covertly wiping his eyes on the corner of her blanket and with Jessie secured in his raised lap by one very large hand, his other hand went to Josie's head laying on her arm fighting empathy tears for what Jess was feeling. "Daggone what a woman goes through…enough to make a grown man cry." Josie was weeping softly and she looked up at him.

"What happened after they knocked me out?" He had Jessie back on his raised thighs and began to tenderly peel the blanket and clothing away inspecting her even peeking down her diapers while Maggie gave him the short version. Slim was too choked up having watched Jess struggle to surface and then hit with such a strong bonding moment. Now watching Jess' tender inquisitive inspection Slim had to fight laughing at him going over his baby daughter like he'd never seen one before. It reminded Slim of a squirrel inspecting a newly found pecan.

"Can she get enough air through that nose?" He kissed her nose and smiled. "Just think, Slim, THIS came from your body….an Josie built her… Dadgum, just look at all these perfect, tiny, little Sherman parts." He was holding her nicely diaper padded bum seated at the base of his lifted thighs, legs toward his face, but she had wrapped her little hand around one of his pinky fingertips not even getting his whole finger. He lightly tapped the end of her pudgy nose with his index finger. "Isn't it … a woman can build a complete human like this? I wouldn't know where to start…." His eyes were glassy in awe as he checked out her ears, counting fingers and toes like doing an inventory, drew his index finger down the middle of her face and then planted a big smooch on her forehead and swamped her body with another full hug and groan of love.

He looked around and noticed everyone was watching him and became embarrassed so he folded the blanket back over her and offered Jessie back to Slim, sniffing, "Here, you did good, Pard! She's gunna knock some feller off his feet for sure."

"I think she's already done that." Slim waved her back gesturing for Jess to continue to hold her since he helped produce her and his own hands are too big, he might crush her, he tucked his arms around his chest. Jess noticed the awkward hesitation by Slim giving him a pathetic look. "And I may have given her life, but every drop of blood in her body came from you, Jess." Slim offered.

"Every drop? How much does a baby hold?" Jess' eyebrows arched.

"One cup, Jess" Maggie offered.

"Man cup or one of those tiny ones you ladies like?" Jess wanted specifics.

"One cup as in 8 ounces. A mug." The nurse interjected.

Jess hadn't noticed the nurse standing hear his head and when she spoke he startled and turned to see who spoke. That caused him to lose a moment's equilibrium and he leaned toward Josie's side of the bed looking like he'd fall out. Slim quickly put his extra hand on Jess' shoulder righting him and Jess gave an embarrassed smile at the nurse and returned to Jessie. Jess raised Jessie's arms slightly as if looking for pockets and not finding any.

"Well, I don't have a clue where she put it, she's so ….tiny! And no pockets anywhere. Never seen one this small before….Sash even weighs more'n her. You do a rightful inspection of that little boy? Is he this little, too? Make sure he's got all his necessary parts?" Jess still looked at Slim but put Jessie back on his lap and leaning up his thighs fiddling with her fingers and her hands wrapped around both his pinkies and holding each cheek steady with his index fingers.

"Dadgum, look at all that hair! And right out of the chute, too. You check out that boy, Slim?" Jess asked again having not received an answer.

Slim, Josie and Maggie, all three, were noticing how natural and confidently Jess was holding a 24 hour old newborn, amazed at that being so opposite to his dedicated self-proclaimed bachelorism.

"No. Nurse said everything was good. Not into the diaper thing yet." Slim meekly replied while blushing. "You um….musta been some kinda help for your ma with your siblings." Slim waved a finger at Jess and Jessie then quickly tucked his finger back in before it could get volunteered.

Jess was in heaven and looked up at Slim and then the two ladies who were grinning at him, too.

"Ya, well, so? They're just small humans. They don't bite." He looked back at Jessie puckered ready to kiss her again. "Do ya?" He lightly touched her mouth with his fingertip and she opened it slightly anticipating a spicket in her sleep and Jess just simply inserted the tip of his finger and she sucked on it. Feeling her suckle brought a good sized chuckle that broke across his face under wet eyes experiencing the feel. Josie laughed softly through her wet eyes. Jessie smiled because his touch was so lite it tickled. " 'er…see? No teeth even! Can't bite without teeth."

"hic!" it was such a tiny hiccup and so quiet Jess did a double take looking closer into her face then they all looked at each other and she did another one and they all started laughing.

"So YOU'RE the hiccup derby queen!" Jess looked at Josie who finally looked up and had smiled. "You sure gave your mommy quite the massage, baby gi… What is her name?"

It was an unplanned duet, "Jessica Josephine Sherman."

Jess chuckled. "Wow, that's quite a handle to live up to. And the boy?"

Slim answered, "Matthew, after my dad."

Jess was still shaking his head, "Dadgum. Such tiny little Sherman parts!"

She started fussing and Jess' eyebrows arched and he talked softly right to her face;

"Oh ya? Ah, oh! 'at's a mommy call if I ever heard one. Ok, JJ… don't suck too hard now, Mommy's got double duty ya know." He kissed her hands gripping his pinky fingers.

"JJ?" Slim asked.

"Well, ya….'at's a big handle. She's got to grow into it. You ready for incoming, Jose?"

Mostly reluctant to release his moment except the 'mommy call' was becoming more determined, Jess handed her to Josie who was past ready for some pressure release and she grabbed another extra blanket the nurse had found and was folded and laying on Jess' bed. She prepared the dinner bar leaning back in her chair and once set covered Jessie and her whole side with the light blanket. Slim was still blushing about the dinner bar but Jess accepted it as fully normal and just averted his eyes at appropriate moments and pulled the blankets straight that were covering him.

"Don't you wish you could do that?" He looked at Slim then waved blindly over his shoulder at Josie then lightly rubbing his chest – unknown to himself feeling some light empathy.

"Ah….no." Slim retorted, still not looking. The idea of feeding his child directly from his body simply didn't compute in Slim's analytical brain. He liked the idea of feeding his child, just doing so from his body … in his literal mind, nothing comes from his spickets, they'd get awfully hungry and that would mean failure to be a proper provider to Slim. Providers go and do in that providing, they don't sit and be a fountain… it just didn't compute.

"That um…" Slim waved blindly this time at the dinner bar. "Doesn't bother you to be near? Did your Ma….?"

Jess' eyebrows unfurrowed and he glanced briefly at his sister and niece mostly covered in blanket and nearly teared then he looked behind Josie to Maggie sitting on the arm of the chair Josie was sitting and supporting her from behind. When he spoke his voice was soft but didn't waver in belief.

"Most daggum beautiful sight, Slim. She's barely here, can't expect her to use a fork right off. You drink coffee in front of family. Baby's drinking her milk, just learning how to do it from outside and they hafta learn how to eat in different places now. What, one day now? She didn't know what "sucking" meant 24 hours ago. She'll catch on fast enough to using another method, it'll go fast to a bottle then food. Ya, my mother did but covered like that and I mostly stood away a spot on guard so's they'd be safe and my ma could relax and enjoy it. Josie's doing it right, she's appropriate in a private room with people who love her and the baby and who she knows and loves. You're the one to worry about. You didn't look so good in the waiting room."

"You should have seen what he did when you left him to go give blood." Maggie jumped in trying to help Slim's blush.

"Ya? Did they have to rebuild the room?" Jess was back to rubbing his forest eyelashes still trying to get the sleep rubbed away.

The guard nurse had disappeared briefly and came back handing Jess a wrung out very warm almost hot face cloth. He startled at it but then quickly identified and took it and held his face into it groaning under his breath at how good it felt.

"It took three giants, they did rearrange the room and it took handcuffs and a 7" needle to subdue him. Those daddy hormones are strong." Maggie reported.

"I can't imagine what you felt, Slim." Jess stated compassionately and leaned back gingerly into the pillows with his knees still pulled up. Leaving the cloth draped over his face he adjusted the hospital gown he found he was in and whilst camouflaged by his raised knees pulled the too short gown down further and tucked more securely around his parts and then tucked the bedding more securely. "Helplessness at its worst. Somebody find my pants and boots I can make room here for the next patient." Slim was watching Jess and not sure whom he was referring to as "helpless."

"My wife, my children, my best ….well, now you're my brother. I can't even comprehend a man who would put his helpless, defenseless daughter…" Slim waved at Jessie, teared and turned half angry… ".. on the auction block in a stressed twin delivery, Jess. And I can say, I've been there. I tried to breathe in that delivery room for hours, Jess, just thinking she'd never live…I'd given any part of my body, anything I could put my hands on….just to see her make it here. How can you separate from your own flesh and blood after that?" Slim's face was red and his voice elevated.

Jess heard the angst in Slim's face and removed the now cool cloth and handed it back to the nurse and with his mouth silently said "thank you" but immediately checking Slim's face. Jess' eyes went empty for a moment at the memory looking away seeing the reality hit Slim and re-feeling the moments when he'd learned about what his dad had done with Josie. Then he looked for a long time over at his twin, who had been that "helpless, defenseless daughter." Josie felt his eyes and looked at him with a quizzical question look in her eyes and Jess merely relaxed his furrowed eyebrows and smiled at her with his eyes. He'd not gotten into any lengthy discussion with Josie how their dad had sold her off the birthing table and didn't really see the need to stress that part into her memories. She didn't need detailed abandonment scars. He nodded at Jessie and Josie returned to adoring her nursing baby and Jess then looked back at Slim.

"That's because you're a different kind of human being, Slim, and why we get along so well. I couldn't do it either. Money or not, I'da found a way to put food on the table." Jess laid his head back into the pillow getting waves of exhaustion and dizziness returning and thinking he needed to help Slim and change the topic to something happier. "When do I meet Matt?"

"The nurses have them on rotating hours so it'd be another hour." Slim was pulling his emotions back into control. He didn't want to bring up bad memories for Jess and re-torture him either, but having been there in the lawyer's office when it had been confirmed to Jess he was a twin and watching that torment in Jess believing she'd died and that twin factor had been ripped from Jess' heart all at the same moment…. became suddenly very real inside Slim. But from his heart the opposite to what Jess' dad had done, Slim would have died to have been able to keep his family together, poverty or not. That baby would have been fed food from his own portions and he'd have gone hungry and he'd have worked 3 jobs around the clock to have money to shelter them. Slim had to stand up and pace in a small circle, but he eventually got himself reeled back in. Jess peeked at Slim through his fingers holding his eyes watching him struggle with new Daddy emotions as much as he was struggling with the room beginning to twirl again.

Jessie was finished and had fallen back asleep and Josie closed up the bar. She motioned to Maggie to take her and Maggie eagerly did and started working on a burp looking every bit the grandmother adoring her new brood.

"Jess?" Josie softly called having gotten herself pulled back together.

"Ya, Sis? Dadgum, you sure are gorgeous!" he slowly lifted his head helping it with one hand looking her direction now the coast was clear.

"With Slim's permission, I need a hug."

Slim happily nodded and quickly stepped closer to her reaching to assist any movement she wanted to make. He may not have desires to feed the babies from his body, but he sure wanted to take on her surgery pain…..every time she winced his mouth mirrored it.

"You saved both our lives, Jess. I can never say enough thank yous." She continued.

Without really waiting for approvals Josie gently pulled back his blankets sorting down to his sheet. As she pulled the bedding back Jess' eyebrows went up realizing and a little concerned over his lack of outer wear clothing. All he had on was a light hospital gown that barely went to his knees and it felt like even his underwear was missing like the rest of his clothing but he hadn't had a chance to check his self out yet. It was a momentary concern as he noticed her pull the sheet to separate them from the blankets and she really wasn't gawking as though even caring what he looked or felt like. She'd seen Slim, so Jess was simply another male. Ever since Josie had entered his world she never seemed to notice they were different sexes which puzzled Jess but was sorta funny, too. Today it seemed to him like she was in a mindset of being back in the womb where they didn't know or care what they were touching of each other, just needing to feel that close physical confinement as reassurance and she was determined to connect wires with him. He quickly noticed how stiffly she was moving so he slipped over some on the bed so she wouldn't fall off and his hands hovered to help her. At one point she grabbed onto one hand and he held his firm so she could move herself easier. Slim supported her on the other side and she slowly inched in and crawled in full length to his body side by side and they merged as twins into their no-daylight-showing hug….or as much as she could manage with stitches and sore muscles. They were mostly half sitting, half laying down, semi facing into his body forward of side by side and she was resting her head on his chest and draping one knee over his to hang on. Her mid-section and incision met him at the side of his waist and he leaned back into the pillows adjusted his frame over so that her incision didn't land on his boney hip. He could feel the higher warmth of the incision as different from her body and he could feel her slowly release her weight down into his body and realized how deeply she was seeking support. More than feeling her weakness, he sensed by how she was seeking his body she was needing to express something she couldn't put into words.

"Guide me in and hold me tight, Jess…so I can feel your solid body. I got parts that ain't moving or feeling things yet so protect yourself so's I don't hurt you." She adjured yet without hesitating or slowing down.

Jess pulled her in tight while Maggie adjusted Jess's support tubes out of the way one handedly. Then Maggie began rocking Jessie in a natural grandmotherly way working on a burp. Watching them connect and Josie's determination for close body contact with Jess' torso caused Maggie to shake her head slightly as she was remembering when Josie had showed up at her house all upset. It wasn't until Josie had basically pinned Jess and physically connected that she calmed down and Maggie realized there were elements of their mother that she had instilled of herself into Jess as being able to nurture as though feeding from her breasts through Jess' body. Here she was watching yet another example of Josie seeking that comfort and strength after another major trauma, a hard birth of twins, in her young life. And she watched Jess gather his sister in as though it was a natural instinct in a way uncommon to men yet he did so in a way completely masculine and unfeminine.

Slim was fighting tears again, more and more feeling indebted to Jess and not knowing how to express the depth of his gratitude. After their initial bumping heads when they met, Slim had come to feel a bond with Jess he'd felt with no other person, male or female, and it had only grown through the years. For all his feisty temper, Jess had vulnerabilities that he fiercely hid and had come to trust Slim in those areas where Jess couldn't quite "land the fish" in the deeper things of life. It was wonderful to see Jess finally have such a deep bond with a member of his own birth family because it was one of those sporadic, healthy things in his life that were too rare. Slim had come to realize his wife's "twin-ness" seemed to be connected to a physical touch with Jess and their contact was not sexual in any way, but it was more a spirit bond that reaffirmed her inside by their physical closeness, like a compass recalibrating into the direction of north. What they received in being physically close never caused him jealousy or guilt that in some way he was not sufficient for her needs. Indeed, he was even fascinated watching them often mirroring each other in mannerisms they weren't even aware of.

"You're coming in fine, Baby Girl, doing great. We did it. You, Slim and me." Jess' hands were both carefully hovering and occasionally guiding parts of Josie's anatomy to fit with himself on the bed and she never even got close to bumping anything vital.

"I know. You helped….(umph)… me give my love the children he deserves and.." she settled and stopped moving looking into his face…. "…. I love you so much."

Jess kissed the side of her head, "Love you, too, Josie, you done good. Really good. Proud of you."

Jess could feel a difference in her hold which was more mature than their first meeting during the stage assault but still dependent. More so, with her facing into his chest being nearly face to face and both in unsupported hospital garb without all the under garments common to women of the day he could feel the change in her body. Not only was she more rounded and less boney, sickly and fragile as she'd been when they'd exited the moving stagecoach, but now she was softly plump with motherhood. Very plump… and in various specific locations. He noted that she didn't mind pressing softly into him and touching him with her fullness and with her very delicate incision area Maggie had reported. Indeed she even seemed to aim to have those specific areas match his and touch him securely. She came in so close and snugged tightly he could feel the elevated warmth now in both zones. Being in direct contact in her physically touching him, he nodded to himself confirming that discomfort ache he was feeling in his body was empathy because they matched her warmer areas indicating her lingering ache from the surgery. It matched and confirmed his lower core discomfort and he could feel the tenderness of her spickets by both their state of over fill plus their use and the confirmation eased his mind about his own body. But there was something he felt as she pressed her fullness into his chest that he'd never felt when holding or hugging other women….and his mind tried to grasp what that was. It…was pleasurable to feel that womanliness hugging him…and there was absolutely nothing sexual about it. Comfort…. yes… that was strong….offering him….something …..needing desperately to give him …what was she telling him? He let her pull herself tightly to his body where she hurt most and to what tightness where she was comfortable and once she was set her head was tucked in at his chin, then he supported her with his arms and leaned back lightly on her plus securing her with his other leg over her ankle until she felt the strength exchange and he waited until she pulled up. Jess' eyes were closed trying to listen to her and Josie's was mostly open but distant or unfocused on anything. It was a lingering few minutes at least 5 minutes with soft sniffs. She murmured and it came out muffled against his neck.

"You always feel so strong, Jess. Even beaten up rolling outta that stage….you did. I'll never forget that moment either. I don't know how you do it…." She began to release her hold… "or where you get it. …just seeps through my pores." Josie purred.

Maggie smiled softly with glowing eyes having the understanding. She'd succeeded in getting the burp and Jessie was softly sleeping in her motherly arms and that felt so good again.

When Josie seemed satisfied she began to let loose, he kissed her temple and she eased back and gave him a peck on the lips already reaching for Slim's offered hand. Her peck came too fast and Jess wasn't expecting it, so he didn't have a chance to respond but he understood her "thank you" and was busy making sure she didn't fall out backward from the bed. At first Slim assisted her getting out of the bed but saw her flinching and grabbing stitches pulling lightly, so he actually stopped her attempt and then easily lifted her from the bed to prevent her pulling anything loose. Jess was about to suggest Slim pick her up but Slim beat him to the idea easily and gently plucked her from Jess' side. Jess held her arm while Slim captured her but he couldn't move far with the dizziness and his other hand grabbed the bedding that was tucked between them so he could remain covered. She latched onto Slim quickly and confidently snuggling into his bear hold without an ounce of reserve and planted a smooch on his lips, too, that he wasn't expecting and he kissed her temple as she pointed to the foot area of Jess' bed. She needed to sit on the side of the bed for a moment, then about 30 seconds later reached for Slim to help her stand making the effort in increments.

Jess watched both of them, but took note of Slim's ease of slipping into her body compensating more where she needed support without anything spoken between them, yet not suffocating her Harper will and personality or demeaning in any manner whatever. Jess had wonderment in his eyes while watching Slim and Josie connected physically moving and adjusting and helping because while her contact with Slim had the confidence of intimacy it was proper in public appearance. He could easily see the complete openness between them as they touched each other yet since they'd married that touch had sensualness in familiarity at the most intimate levels. He saw they obviously had no reserve held back in touching any parts of each other's bodies, done void of any fear and with complete confidence and honor. Jess thought to himself how beautiful it was to see two humans connected so deeply obvious to him in sexuality, yet complete with respect and honor of each other. He'd never witnessed that between his parents, or really any couple ever, and it was ….well… he frowned lightly with moist eyes… it made him jealous but in a good way. None of it surprised him about either Slim or Josie and made him extremely happy for both of them and could easily tell their marital contact was very healthy. There had never been a question in his mind about Slim's care and regard for a woman, especially a wife, and it had thrilled him his twin could gain such a husband and never have to worry about them. When Slim touched Josie he looked like he was touching a porcelain queen and when she touched Slim, she was touching a deity or king. When Josie touched Jess and he touched her, it was also full body contact and full of respect but as siblings there was a distinct difference of comfort in contact without care of or attention to their sexual differences and both types of contacts were equally beautiful. Jess and Josie touched openly but it was like there was no difference in their sex other than him as protector and her as the vulnerable. When Josie and Slim touched each other it was definitely opposite sexes but as one in spirit and well, it was just beautiful. Jess had loved and adored his mother but all physical contact with her was loaded to the max with respect and honor as his mother was all revered as his ma. Unless his ma had needed something of emergency or medical, their contact was by hands only and kisses on the cheek. With Francie there was closeness as a sister, but not the deep closeness or inner-connection and automatic synchronization as with Josie. It was definitely different than what he felt when in contact with Sarabeth. Contact with Sarabeth lit things up inside him like no other woman's touch had ever done, and THAT was scary….wait Josie was talkin'.

"I think we both need to rest now." She said softly sounding quite peaceful and started slowly for the door partially bent over in her lower abdomen. Jess watched her with a frown and grimaced when she wasn't looking.

"Can I borrow your husband for a few moments?" Jess asked pointing and gesturing for Slim to stay.

"Sure." Without stopping she reached for Maggie who helped her walk on one side while Maggie was holding Jessie in her other arm. The nurse accompanied them quickly reached for Jessie to return her to the nursery and they left Jess and Slim alone.

"Jess, I don't know where to begin with all you've done other than…." Slim started but Jess waved him off.

"Later, Hard Rock. Can I…be bold here?" Jess was having a hard time holding his head off the pillow and Slim could obviously see that.

"YOU can do anything you want, Pard, and whatever you need, just tell me."

"I um…it's not about me, it's about her." He waved a hand in the direction Josie just left. "You need to crawl in bed and sleep holding her, now, here and later at home. She'll heal faster resting in your arms so she can drop off faster and sleep deeper – get more outta short naps…..and one more thing … and you can punch me if you want…."

Slim shook his head no that wouldn't happen and gesturing with one hand to give it up. Slim wanted more than his next breath for Josie to be full well again so he was open to whatever Jess had to offer.

"You a….when you two are alone….. take some sips from her um…dinner bar. Just tastes, gently, not a meal like the babies. She'll….. she needs that bond from you…feeding you her love….so she knows you're not being left out." Jess couldn't believe what his mouth was speaking….it was just flowing from somewhere and he was frowning fighting back tears because it was tugging very strongly at his emotional side…..and was a new experience.

"Jess….that's the babies' food. They're gunna need everything she can….." Slim started to protest at such a…

Jess gave him a stern look indicative of a gunfight glare as best he could muster with the room still spinning, tried to raise a finger but it wobbled badly...

"Listen to me!" he gasped quietly closing his eyes, but his voice took on a deeper urgency.

"She knows her priority is the babies but she needs to know you're not being left out of her attention because of that priority. Her strength …. it comes from giving her love. Giving you that directly from her body will release her own inner strength….kick in a … regenerating power…so she heals up faster. Just a token sample is enough." Jess laid his head back in the pillow with another gasp because the room circled worse when he got louder and then he waved Slim away. "Or do whatever you want. Not telling you what to do as a husband. Doesn't even make sense to me…just ….. inside information." Jess still couldn't believe his own voice but he felt the emotion-tug releasing something Josie needed him to do and his hand came down from his temple covering his eyes so they wouldn't leak in relief. If it had been any other man than Slim he would never have gone near that far with that type of wording. It's just that Josie had been seeking him so deeply.

Slim turned to the door but with his hand on the doorknob glanced back giving Jess a strongly frowned look at such an odd recommendation and wondering if that inside information was empathy, but that didn't make sense either. How could Jess have empathized something like that? He turned to go through the door and Jess' voice stopped him again, eyes still closed.

"If Jessie needs more blood, don't even hesitate…..even if I'm sleeping. She's too small for any reserve, can't be laying on no roadside bleedin' forever waiting on a doc ….." It was a bad memory Jess had trouble justifying and he'd repressed it, but it leaked out of him in this weaker moment. "A …that tiny….one mug full of blood …. 'at's two swallows to you and me….can bleed out in a minute. I can easy drink gallons of water and make more blood just as fast." Then he muttered to himself as he faded…. "Don't know how I make it, and can't make a baby human, but I guess 'at's one thing I can do right."

Slim looked at Jess and watched in silence as Jess seemed to withdraw like a turtle going into its shell as he curled onto his side grabbing and adjusting pillows and pulling the bedding up under his chin. His eyes were closed, legs pulled up and arms lowered between them all guarding the "sore" roots section of his lower core in empathy of soreness to Josie's incision and double exit birth event. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked exhausted especially for a person who'd appeared asleep for two days. Or was it one day? Slim had lost track of time.

His forehead raised for a moment as he lingered watching the changes that had occurred in Jess with the entry of his twin sister into his world, now fully connected to Slim as a family member, and now an uncle feeling the pains of a female, but still as a bachelor unable to escape what life was throwing. But this was a different family pain, one that was positive growth and not being torn away from his heart and Slim was proud of how Jess was adjusting to it. There'd been quite a change in Jess since they'd first met. There were times when Jess was a complete enigma to Slim, sometimes loving him more than his own brother and other times wanting to hand him his head. Sometimes Jess would do something so funny Slim could lose it in laughter and other times be so frustrated pulling Jess' short fused temper out of the rafters. Jess was just who he was and so full of life. Yet there wasn't one person on this earth that Slim trusted more deeply than Jess even the times he didn't really understand him and oddly there were things deep inside Slim that he could only share with Jess because of that trusted confidence. The bond between them was stronger than ever before and he wouldn't change it for the world. Slim frowned slightly going even deeper in thought, if Jess would go that far over the typical boundaries of male to male sharing something that intimate and obvious to Slim containing deep emotion from Jess, then he needed to pay heed… and hopefully the understanding would come later. It often did.

Over the amusement of Josie and Maggie, trying to back his pard up with a task he seemed reluctant to do, upon meeting Matt for the first time Jess did do his inspection of his nephew also. He didn't want to find something amiss later after check out time and once he was satisfied his nephew was sufficiently "parted out" for boyhood he was satisfied "and they could check out with his permission." He was surprised by the miniature size of said parts because he'd only helped his mom with sisters, but he figured if Slim was happy (albeit embarrassed at a nosey uncle), then he was happy. At least the parts were there. Slim was amused at such an affectionate uncle and amazed at Jess' fearlessness when it came to touching these tiny humans and their non-English warbles, sometimes blood curdling war screams especially for such a dedicated and committed bachelor. Jess even beat him to being the first adult male to change diapers and Jess did a great job thanks to that past experience assisting his mother, although they both had to learn about cold air on baby male parts. That was something Jess had never encountered. Slim got to the point that if Jess could change a diaper, then by heavens, he could, too. He was sure not going to be outdone by Jess. Anything Jess could do, he could do, too.

Before being released and waiting for Jessie's all clear announcement Jess had managed with his connections and Dr. Tim's help to wrangle some heavier clothes and was given the garments the surgeons used and a robe. At least they'd found his under garments, socks and he'd gotten some britches to replace the drafty skirt of the gown which he hated. His outside clothes and new boots were put in a small closet in his room but the hoses they had him hooked to medically wouldn't reach that far and nurses were privately warned regarding job security if any of them gave into his pleas to retrieve his clothes. Nobody told him the tubing was …shall we say, ornamental. By the time he'd gotten to his feet the end of the second day he was fully capable of feeding his self and putting away liquids, they just didn't tell him the attached hoses were such so to keep him from wandering around the hospital….where he could still get dizzy and fall over. IF Jessie needed blood they didn't want to lose time searching the hospital for him whilst he was busy trying to satisfy his insatiable curiosity…. mostly scouting out nurses and then somehow getting "lost" needing escorts back to the baby wing. It wasn't so much a problem of finding someone to direct him, word had spread like wildfire there was a baby blood donor cowboy who was even more "intriguing" decked out in doctor garments floating in the hospital. So guide volunteers were abundant, but it took those guides away from their work load and that was the issue trying to be averted. So he'd quickly gotten re-tethered to his bed by doctor orders "to be available to his niece" but he began arguing to get unplugged from being hog tied with hospital tubing to the bed grouching quite loudly he was being treated "like a rank stallion that couldn't be trusted." With his childhood being raised on a huge Montana cattle ranch, that comment cracked Dr. Tim up folding him over in laughter and he literally had to leave the room to laugh it off because nobody, nobody could miss the parade of pretty nurses that seemed to come out of the woodwork. The nurses loved even more having him tethered so they could continue their stealth parade by "on other errands nearby" in and through his room with bedding pieces he really didn't need and which continually stacked up on all nearby horizontal surface. And true to nature the guard nurse carted off when the shift changed and a new stack would begin. There were three shifts of nurses. They kept bringing him impromptu food gifts and brews, some flowers even arrived, mostly home baked goodies of all varieties and it filled his room including extra tables they had to bring in to hold all of it. He nosedived into the abundant assorted array of baked goods, jams and candies and when it got quiet they knew he was either snacking or passed out in a food stupor. It got rather hilarious because some of the nurses would come back asking if he enjoyed their particular temptations and he wouldn't know which belonged to what nurse. But he eagerly hovered over each one like a bee at a pollen deposit and had them show him which one was theirs and he'd eat another sample and fuss over it like it was the best thing he'd ever tasted. Each one who came back got hugs and a kiss which seemed to send them on down the hall 2 feet off the ground walking on air. Several times at first he swatted Slim's hands away from his cache of reewards, but then gave into Slim's pathetic mooching and shared his stash of goodies.

After Jess had gotten his self better geared out in the doctor garb and they re-tethered him, they came and asked for another cup of blood because Jessie's routine blood test came back anemic. Jess' eyebrows instantly peaked, he immediately crammed his mouth full of the pastry he was munching on, wiped his hands on the rope quickly then vaulted back on the hospital bed and whilst chewing presented his arm over protest by Josie and Slim. They couldn't argue that Josie was in no shape to donate blood and Slim was the wrong blood type. So they hooked Jess up with a 'supplemental tube so not to take more than necessary' and took exactly one cup and infused Jessie. Jess held his finger on the hole the prescribed length of time resealing the vein then stood up to walk back to the table to resume grazing from his tasty morsels of munchies and libations and by his second step his eyes rolled upward and he promptly fell forward toward his face. If Slim hadn't been nearby to catch him, he'd have landed smack on his face on the floor. So they put him back to bed, tied him down with a handcuff and he came to and began fussing and lying that the room had not gone back to a spinning machine. Jessie immediately began getting stronger and put on some weight. Jess drank tons of liquids for 2 days complaining over constant use of the system they considered a "lu" but they allowed him to check out only if he promised to go home to bed for a week. That suited him fine because the Shermans were also checking out and 1134 would freeze over before he'd be left behind alone in a hospital ward, especially tethered with hospital tubes. He made such a fuss over not being left behind in the hospital Slim frowned wondering if that was tied to some negative past experience. What he hadn't gotten eaten he diligently packed up to take home and it lasted him a good week. He gave the flowers to the older nurse who had been assigned duty to help him…. guard duty. The guard nurse did have to break up a fuss down the hall between several of the younger nurses who were competing to bring his supper in one evening…but she never told Jess. She just mentioned that he had probably done more to recruit new nurses into the medical field than any poster or medical convention she'd been to during her career. She had a motherly manner similar to Daisy and was also rewarded with a kiss on the cheek and a hug of appreciation for her help. She turned pink.

The extra cup of blood seemed to do the trick and Jessie's body began kicking into gear. She gained another 5 ounces in two days after that and 2 pounds in the first week home. Josie healed from both her breeches without any sign of infection and her strength came back quickly mostly because she began eating everything that was food grade and not nailed down to keep up with two ravenous twins. Suffice it to say, she was mother at large and in charge by reason of her driven need to direct dinner, breakfast, lunch and mid-night eating intervals. Maggie nearly dragged Jess back to their house by giving him some fluff errands and projects to get him away from doting on the babies so they could get some sleep. Her "pantry was in sad shape and needed his attention" (not really) and she had some east coast food products arrive that needed unpacking (true) . His focus to life in general returned much to everyone's relief and the distance greatly reduced his empathy – both in spirit and physical. He was a funny doting uncle, but there were limits. Plus the more Jess was pulled back the more Slim seemed assured and he began to step up interacting with his new babies – mostly copying what he'd seen Jess do. Daisy, Maggie and Sarabeth stepped up in feeding the adults and running babysitting and feeding duties helping Josie get into a feeding schedule and still be able to get some sleep so her body could heal.

Slim took Jess' suggestions from the hospital to heart and about 10 days after they got home cornered him one day in a corner of the barn to report things back to Jess. He said even though he didn't understand them at the beginning and was deeply embarrassed to try the second one, he found Jess was correct about her healing faster when sleeping surrounded by his body. He actually really enjoyed that part feeling her fullness in tight contact with his skin as she'd relax out completely and quickly drop off into deep sleep and he'd cuddle around her body thrilled enjoying the all over body contact. Jess later realized due to the dizziness he'd forgotten to explain the "unbuckling" like he'd experienced was from the barn fire a year earlier which then helped Slim understand where he was coming from.

Slim went on to explain the second suggestion became very endearing private moments between husband and wife with the babies all tucked in for the night. Slim told Jess he'd been correct and Slim didn't know how he could love anyone any more than he already did from every cell of his being until they'd experienced Jess' second suggestion. Jess began to fidget because this was the intimate stuff he really didn't need or want to hear about his sister and best friend but Slim was so intent in his joy he grabbed Jess' elbow and continued. Jess immediately bristled at the elbow capture but then cast a look at Slim's face seeing the happiness and figured Slim needed to overflow on somebody. He figured because the topic was so personal in nature Slim couldn't share with anybody but himself. So Jess stood back and listened. Slim reported quite a few things as a result of doing what Jess suggested and Slim was convinced it was the chief cause for her healing up as quickly as she did. Just as soon as Slim eased off the words Jess excused himself and got lost elsewhere on the ranch.

Josie bloomed in her motherhood both physically becoming more radiant and more so her inner soul became so secure it was like night and day to when they'd first met during the stage assault. She also regained her figure very quickly under the flow of hormones and active physical routine. Slim seemed to stand taller if that's even possible and was no longer embarrassed when Josie would feed the babies. He even began holding them and feeding bottles of her pumped milk and actually changing diapers on both. Maggie had family resources back east who had sent a recently invented pump (1854) for mothers and came in handy feeding twins on hourly schedules. It also helped with Josie's attitude and fear of exploding certain points of her anatomy. Chuck had a rancher in his cattleman's association who raised Holstein Friesian dairy cattle and his baby gift was a brand new milking cow for transitioning to food for the upcoming generation of babies in Jr and Slim's family ….. and hopes to be Sarabeth's.

There were days of light activity where Josie gave bottles to Slim and Jess and found them both laying sprawled out on the facing sofas each with a baby nursing from a bottle. It didn't surprise her to see Jess doing it and she allowed it only because Jess had calmed way down after Maggie had hauled him back to the Wentworth house. But Slim was a huge surprise and she was busting her buttons proud how fatherly he looked. Slim was holding Matt and Jess holding "JJ" and on her next trip through the living room they were all four conked out with the empty bottles on the sofa table and the babies sleeping on each one's chest. Grinning ear to ear she went for afghans and covered them up letting them sleep and she went to the master bathroom and took one long, rare hot soak in bubble bath. When she came back out all refreshed her first stop was to check on them. Everyone was still sound asleep and Matt was still on Slim's broad chest, but Jess had curled JJ under his chin sleeping on his side with JJ between him and the sofa back with Jess' top arm and knee curled up over her in protection mode. Daisy was an ace at arranging meals and feeding schedules and Mike was just as fascinated by tiny humans as Jess. When Daisy didn't have him on chores and home schooling, he was babysitter and errand boy on the laundry brigade which was double duty with twins.

CHAPTER 8: TALK WITH PA-INTERPRETING THE DREAM

It was about three weeks later mid-morning Jess came striding through in the front door of the Wentworth house nearly knocking Chuck down who was just exiting. Behind Chuck was Sara who failed to see past her father's bulk didn't know why Chuck stopped so fast and she ran up on her toes and into his back trying to stop. Chuck and Sara were headed out to the ice house to select a piece of meat for Maggie to start for supper and who was watching while preparing to cook and getting out pans in the kitchen. Jess was disheveled, his clothes crumpled with the shirt tail escaping and was holding his lower left ribs with his left hand and dabbing his right temple that was leaking blood from a fresh cut over his right eyebrow. He pulled up just in time to keep from knocking either the door or himself into Chuck's plump frame from the front. Just past Jess coming through the door Chuck noticed Traveler was tied up outside at the front hitch post.

"Oh! Excuse me, Chuck." Jess mumbled in light embarrassment but then without waiting for an answer stepped around the two of them and strode down the hall toward his bedroom. Passing the kitchen island where Maggie had stepped around wiping her hands on a hand towel, she saw Jess working on his temple and held the towel out to him. It was moist to wet on one end from wiping the pans and Jess saw it and took a half step over to accept the towel and applied it to his head but kept walking. She found the towel later soaking in cold water in the bathroom sink with blood on it.

It was obvious to both Chuck and Sara that Jess was very upset, tense and trying to control his anger and the blood flowing from his eyebrow. At the same time Jess looked deeply hurt by something that had apparently just happened.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry?" Sara asked as they watched Jess' back disappear down the hall.

"Hafta leave." His voice cracked and trailed off as he disappeared.

Jr came running up into the open front door all out of breath and had an envelope in his hand.

"Did he say anything?" Jr asked all wide eyed and blushed. He looked a little askew, too.

"What in tarnation happened?" Chuck boomed.

"Slim's wranglers just had to pull him and Jess apart. They were down by Bolero's pen talking, just finished sorting some yearlings for branding tomorrow and just tore into each other. Looked like a life and death match. Hands all got spooked and took about 10 of us to pull them apart. Slim got in a pretty hard two fer on Jess and Jess backed up, grabbed his bay and came over here. What did he say?" Jr was talking as fast as he'd been running.

"Said he had to leave, Jr." Chuck was frowning. "What did Slim say?"

"Didn't. He was all red, Jess seemed to be defending his self. Slim seemed to be pushing the matter but he wasn't talking to nobody. Never seen anything like it. Those two seemed to be so close, Dad, and you know Slim's bigger than Jess." Jr's voice was loaded with worry.

Sara's face was all puckered in fear and concern and exchanged looks with Maggie who was tying the apron she'd just put on while coming to join them near the door.

Jr handed Chuck the piece of paper, an envelope. "Here's a wire that just came for Jess as he was headed over here."

Chuck took the envelope and looked at it then back at the hall.

"Daddy! Go talk to him!" Sara begged tugging on her dad's elbow.

Chuck shook his head. "You don't push a man like him, Sweetie. Make matters worse. I want him to know this place as a sanctuary, not a prison. It's got to be his decision."

They heard Jess' bedroom door pulled closed softly with Sasha raising a very emotional and sad commotion behind it. Jess seemed to pause for a few moments then after sniffing came striding back to the entry. He was still disheveled looked like he was fighting back tears and was carrying a duffle looked like had some clothes rolled in it. He was wearing his gun belt and carrying his rifle. He passed Maggie stopped and gave her a kiss on the cheek and Maggie fell in behind him with a frown and questions all over her face. Jess then passed Sara and gave her a kiss, too, on the lips but Sara was in shock and ready to lose it. Just then Sasha let out a soulful howl and pounced against the door. Sasha was rarely vocal. Jess hesitated one step, cringed and closed his eyes bracing his self against turning around and taking her with him.

"Going somewhere, Jess?" Chuck asked softly and seeking eye contact with Jess.

Jess looked at Chuck with a frown, one peck short of a gunfight glare but in respect for the elder man he stopped while looking down at his boots.

"Hafta leave, Chuck." He shook his head sideways just once. "Not what I want, but what's best for Josie." He briefly looked Chuck in the face then toward the door not wanting to get captured in any long explanation.

"What about Sasha?" Sara asked meekly, then almost in a whisper added, "and me?"

"I'll be back for her, my stuff …when I find a spot….make it safe for her….us." Even though full of determination Jess voice cracked horribly and he quickly looked at Sara directly…. "some where's close to the wells, 'xspect,…..out of the way." He paused for a few moments thinking then added softly with a slight half head shake, "You and me …. not done yet, just she'll need someone she knows…need you to help her."

"This came for you." Chuck offered the envelope. It was a telegram.

Jess took it, ripped it open, read it and stuffed it back in Chuck's hand with an annoyed look but nodded his head knowing his direction of travel.

"I know what's happened is your business, Jess, but we consider you a full family member here so know this door is always open to you and that room is yours no matter what happens." Chuck was looking in Jess' down turned face reading Jess one step away from tears and having that lost look on his face again. "You always have a home here."

"Thank you, Sir. Your family's been…" Jess looked up briefly in Chuck's face still with liquid eyes, "…more family….." and looked back down. "I'll never forget what y' all have done." Jess' voice was deep, sincere but barely audible enough at the verge of cracking and had a small tremble.

He looked Chuck in the face with sincerity but it was clouded in sadness and shook Chuck's hand, pulled his hat low, stepped around everyone and slid through the opening between Jr and the front door popping Jr on the arm as they passed. He marched to Traveler looking like he wiped his face with the cuff of his sleeve. In maybe a matter of 3 seconds he mounted without stirrups, hooked his duffle off the saddle horn, dropped his rifle in the sheath pulling Traveler around and nudged him into gear all in one smooth, continuous movement. Chuck watched him leave with a frowned and very sad face watching the fluidity of Jess' departure. Jess was just too well practiced in the leaving department and it was a crime in Chuck's mind. Nobody, but nobody needed a solid anchor more than that cowboy and never seemed to land anywhere for long for reasons always beyond his control.

"Daddy!" Sara cried, tears beginning to overflow like a dam bursting its seams. "Do something!"

Chuck watched Jess disappear then slowly looked at Jr, then Maggie and finally at Sara who turned and ran into her bedroom sobbing. Maggie turned and followed her daughter to try to comfort her but she was clearly fighting tears, too.

"What did you see, Jr.?" Chuck asked again but his voice was low and extremely serious.

"Slim's been grouchy for couple weeks. We'd been sorting a small group of weanlings this morning, to sell or pasture and got done ahead of schedule so were trying to decide what to get into next 'cause we had plenty of time before lunch. He and Jess were leaning on Bolero's pen talking, looked all normal, then they turned and Slim went after Jess. Jess was upset and trying to fight back, seemed angry, too, but Slim's got 5 inches height and 20, 25 pounds weight on him and was over powering Jess. Hands started piling out of the barn to pull them apart and they pulled free of the hands when Slim got in a two punch into Jess' ribs and face. That seemed to hurt Jess and he pulled back stepping away. The hands grabbed Slim but as Jess turned to leave they let him go and he pulled free, grabbed his bay and came over here. I was following Jess over here when the wire guy delivered the envelope. That's ALL I know. Never seen anything like that, either. I know Jess has a temper and all, but, hell….I never want to get Slim riled at me. He could earn his keep as one dog gone fighter! I'd back him in a ring any day."

"Did Jess hurt Slim?"

"Couldn't see much if any, Jess was mostly on his bum, Slim pulling him back to his feet and hitting on him more. Slim was a little messy from the morning's work. But he's been a bear for couple weeks… you know edgy and short fused. What's 'at?" Jr pointed at the wire.

Chuck looked at it and since Jess had left it open in his control, he read the short message. "It says oil business in Denver. Found another pool up north at the old homestead. Need him to come sign for another pump." Chuck walked it over to the kitchen island and left it open for anyone to read. "Most men would be ecstatic to pull in money from wells he's not even looking for. Jess just ignores it and the money he's raking in." Chuck was shaking his head. "Hope to God he never changes. Money ruins people."

Jr. followed his dad. "What're you gunna do, Dad?" Chuck rubbed his chin and checked the wall clock showing 10:15 a.m.

"Jess' been a little withdrawn last couple days, something chewing on him. Coulda very well been Slim's attitude on something. BUT…you know Jess. Holds things tight to his vest. Not a good time to play poker with him when he's like that." Chuck popped Jr on the arm and looked at him with half a smile then back toward the door. "Guess I'll go check on Slim. Tell your ma to pick out whatever she wants to cook for supper. I'll be next door." Chuck grabbed his hat off the rack and mumbling to himself on the way down the walk, "….sure as heck ain't gunna leave things lay and repeat my mistake from Texas. Learnt my lesson! 'At boy's been through enough family hell!"

Chuck took off walking over to Slim's house and knocked on the door. Josie answered and she looked tense.

"Got any hot coffee over here?" Chuck asked with a small smile instantly reading Josie's concerned face.

She smiled ever so little but instantly opened the door in relief. "Always, please come in. Slim's just getting out of the shower. He'll be out shortly. Help yourself. I'll let him know you're here."

"Before you go, do you know what happened between Slim and Jess?" Chuck inquired as he came through the door. The instant look on Josie's face told him that she knew but wasn't sure she should share it.

"I'm not sure I should say something, Chuck. I would love to, even need your help but don't want to make matters worse. What did Jess tell you?"

"You know Jess. He says nothing."

"Ya, I know." Josie dropped her gaze then looked down the hall toward Slim's bathroom.

So he added, "Don't need details, just a topic will help, Josie." He had on his father-hat.

She took him by the elbow and walked him to the stove where the coffee pot was brewing. "A little bird came by just now and she told you that Slim's been upset because Jess has been giving all this and that, the estate wedding gift, the buckboard partnership with you, money from the oil wells and not even living in this house anymore, blood transfusions twice for me, twice for Jessica, put Bolero back into production, things like that been overwhelming Slim because he can't match giving Jess in return and feels like he's in debt into eternity to Jess. It's driving him up the wall and can't even sleep. He hasn't eaten in 3 days. But the little bird told you, not me, ok?" She put her finger over her lips and looked entreatingly at Chuck which made him want to adopt her, too. "I don't know what to tell Slim, but I'll go let him know you're here for coffee." Without waiting she patted Chuck's forearm, shoved a coffee mug into his hand expecting him to know how to help himself, swiveled and left the room. As she left she called back, "Daisy and Mike went to town and I need to go take care of the twins, they're sleeping."

Chuck chuckled softly to himself as Josie seemed relieved as she walked away and he reached for the coffee pot. If the twins were sleeping then why did she need to check them? His experience was you let sleeping babies lay. He was doctoring it with sugar and stirring it when Slim came into the room pulling his shirt on and buttoning it. Slim's hair was askew and he was freshly laundered and looking sharp, just damp. There wasn't a mark on him.

"Pour one for you?" Chuck offered.

"Ya. Don't know if we have any milk…I can't keep up with the inventory what's Josie's and what's cow. Keep asking her to mark them somehow."

"I don't need any. Sugar's fine for me. You?"

"Just black is good. Need a strong shot….of something." Slim mumbled. "Wonder where I put the whiskey…."

"Rough day?" Chuck took a quick look assessing any damage on Slim but saw nothing.

"I've sure had better." Slim accepted the coffee and gestured Chuck to sit at their bay window round table where he was headed in a hurry to get off his feet. They both sat down.

Chuck took a sip but it was too hot so he sat it down and began to speak in a fatherly way. "Back in the day when Elroy and me first pulled out to settle our big land deal up here in Colorado opening our dreams as partners, we had a falling out, down right knock down drag out. Our hands had to pull us apart but we were both pretty bent up by the time they got us apart. I had dated Elroy's wife before Elroy married her and then got too close to Kensie after her birth. I was just curious but Elroy's fatherly nature became very territorial claiming I was too close and interfering in his fatherhood."

"Is that right?" Slim was a little amazed hearing Chuck share such a personal thing.

"Yep. More than everything, do you know what I wanted most of all at that moment?"

Slim was riveted, "No, what?" His coffee was too hot also so he pulled a comb out of his pocket and brought his blondness into order quickly then tucked the comb away.

"I wanted to have a heart to heart with my Pa. He was still holding onto the Texas property until Colorado took hold. Pa and I were always very close, he always had the answers, "wisdom of the ages" I called him. But sometimes, he just needed to reshuffle my head so's I could focus better on what I already knew. I needed him SO badly right then. Elroy and me grew up together, he had no siblings so we were more brothers than partners, then this land grant opened up here was a huge opportunity for both of us."

Finished the hair Slim was exploring a cracked lip. He looked at Chuck quizzically but saw enough in Chuck to believe him and replied to Chuck, "That's exactly what I was thinking back there in the shower…wishing my dad were still alive. We were close, too, but he died while I was back east in the war – we never got to say goodby…even. I don't know what to do. This husband and fatherhood business, even all this new business is brand new to me. It's a bit overwhelming."

"Can't say I can fill your Pa's boots, wouldn't try. But I could always use another good son." Slim's answer was exactly what Chuck was hoping for as an open door to accept some fatherly counsel so Chuck offered. "Something happen?"

"Ya, I ….I think I've just made about the worst mistake of my life and my chest is hurtin' feel like I could throw up. Know a way to turn back the clock to dawn?" Slim was griping his chest with a flattened hand and he was very flushed.

"Well now, that's above my pay grade, Slim. All I know how to do is deal with circumstances on the table, maybe find a way to fix things that go wrong. Been there lots of times, too, fixing mine. None of us are perfect and we all make mistakes. Sure done my share. What happened?"

"I tore into Jess about all his generosity this last year or so sure has changed our lives and all for the better, but I can't keep up with him. He's producing more than me and I'm the one getting all these benefits. The homestead ranch has turned around, making a profit, grown into an estate and horse business, set up for railroads. Found my soul's mate with his twin, we have two wonderful kids and he's even saved their lives multiple times. So what do I do? Rip into him this morning about all the stuff he's been giving into my life and he'd just come up with another idea this mornin'. Dadgum, Chuck, I love Jess more than a brother which I don't even understand because Andy and I are so close. Except for Josie and the twins, I'd rather die than lose Jess. He's so different. At first we snagged on each other, but minutes later was put into a life and death event and that pressure kicked in the same response from both of us like we were from the same cloth. Different in method maybe, I'd come from a whole family and education, and found out Jess had nothing but what he wore and his horse. Know he means well, but Jess shared Josie's morning sickness, knew before any of us she was pregnant, then knew about the twin, THEN he rushes right past me in the labor room – no consideration of me and took over making life and death decisions of MY family! He meant well, I know he did, but he just flew passed me. AND saved both their lives." Slim's face was still flushed and exasperated.

Chuck could read the confusion coming off Slim by the random thought processes not being in Slim's usual mental orderliness. "Maggie said in the waiting room your face was frozen, maybe Jess was just backing you up knowing there was no time to delay."

"Ya, that sounds like Jess."

"You ever been in an event where you stepped in without Jess' permission and saved his butt?"

Slim's eyes glassed over slightly, "Well, this kid called him out in Laramie while his arm was still tied down last winter." He looked sheepishly at Chuck, "I sorta reached over his shoulder… and you know." Slim held his hand out like a gun and pointed it across the table where no one was sitting.

"So in the hospital he only did the same thing you did to him on the street in Laramie?"

"I reckon. I hadn't thought of it that way." Slim mumbled into his mug as he slurped down his coffee and retrieved the pot from the stove and refilled both mugs. Chuck had nailed him with the truth.

Chuck offered, "Sounds to me like you both keep jumping into each other's messes and help pull through without much asking each other's permission."

Slim shook his head slightly with a brief look at Chuck who had just nailed the key ingredient very quickly.

"Ya, when you step back and look at the panorama, I guess we do. 'At's the way he showed up back at Baxter Ridge when we first met…just jumped in. Could be, too, his jumping in so fast in the delivery room may have been tied to a dream he had 'bout the time Josie showed up in his life. It was while he was unconscious from his injuries saving her and we weren't sure he'd pull through it."

"What dream?" Chuck inquired. In his experience there was often a pivot event that had deep effects on people he'd tried to help in the past.

"He dreamed he was inside a sack of water that also contained a giggling little girl and they were connected by a lariat. The little girl was chasing him but he couldn't get around the lariat to get the angle to pull her off his heel. He said the dream quit before it finished but it was haunting him how he felt the girl was a part of his own body and couldn't figure out if the dream was a future event that he would produce the child or if the dream was trying to tell or confirm to him Josie was his twin. He had just rescued her from a stage attack and they didn't know each other, were never introduced at the event yet he felt he knew her. That's when the dream happened." Slim explained.

"Did the dream upset him?" Chuck was busy trying to pinpoint details.

"No, fact he said it was the happiest moments of his entire life. Just couldn't figure it. What upset him was the dream stoppin' before he got his answers. He said it was the first time he'd ever felt any desire to produce a person from his body and wanted it badly because he loved the sound of the little girl giggling – making somebody happy from something had come from his body…you know amazed and all he could generate somethin' happy for a change." Slim shook his head and looked out the window at the distant Long's Peak you could see on a clear day. "What he was sayin', Chuck, just made me love the man more. Showed me the inside of his heart that day. Those moments are rare…. with him." Slim's eyes were moist verging on overflowing his lower lids but he quickly blinked them away and took a long sip of coffee.

"I married Maggie back east and immediately came home to Texas where Jess' ma latched onto her and helped her get her footing out here in the wild. They became very close which means I was also drawn into Jess' life, such as it was. He was the next child his ma had and we moved up here when Jess was close to 6 and a half, maybe 7 years old. He tugged at me because I saw in him a rare human with unusual traits who had such strong potential but was being tormented in his existence there in Texas. Slim, all that boy ever wanted, needed even more than his other siblings, was belonging to his family, being needed, feeling like he was a part of the body of his family. I had a great father and grandfather, I'm positive you had a great father, so did Elroy. But Jess never had even a grandfather and his dad was a poor excuse for a human be…. well….let's just say the only fatherhood thing he did was provide DNA and poor examples of any kind of role model."

"Ya, Jess finally shared just a couple events of his childhood, things that happened with his dad." Slim's voice was sad but his face was flushing again in anger.

"Jess has really had no healthy blue print to build himself from as a man and most of who he is as a person is like that. He had no positive role model other than his mother. Back in the day when Jess was a tadpole and now seeing him as an adult, he has that inner spark that differentiates him from everyone else in his family. It's that fatherhood element in those rare men who can be and who do produce that single spark of genesis that motivates the energy in any room they are in. It's someone who has that special element as protector and provider and a sense of nurturing that rivals even motherhood. Yet all those possibilities were consistently yanked violently from his experiences. It doesn't change the DNA of fatherhood, but it will cause it to grow stronger and unattended will cause it to become more violent in protectiveness. It's strong in Jess and it will come out through his pores one way or the other, such as with how he responds with animals or like orphans, even with women he meets and can instantly read the abuse in their life. That spark of fatherhood life, when it gets going the right direction also causes a man to generate even things in business – a constant outflow of genesis. It's not a bad thing at the least, indeed, highly desire able. But he's working at a handicap having had no proper father role model, yet these energies inside him needs to be recognized, properly satisfied and nurtured in the correct manner to order to balance his world, his emotions, his judgments. Most of all his anger that flares is from that energy being congested. He has to try to satisfy this energy inside him in smaller ways first from areas he had the examples or role model for, such as helping his mom take care of his siblings…so he helps the needy or the underdog because that's what he's learned from her. Eventually, with enough proper life experiences those will grow to greater investments from deeper levels inside him as he begins to feel secure footing under him. He discovered he had a twin and could benefit her health, so he gave that and it was a positive outcome. Later he found he had the resource to help his niece, so another spark of fatherhood donated part of his body and that was a success. Each one gives courage to attempt to try for the next….feeling his way along in the dark kinda like he's blind. Giving blood, his life source to his twin was like giving blood to himself because they are twins, like exchanging air. Giving blood to his niece was not to replace yours as his father causing you to owe him anything, his blood to his niece was also to his own flesh because his oneness with his twin. There was no thought needed for that decision just as there would be none for you to have given her blood had it been a match or for you to give blood to Andy. To him it was not a cost, it WAS an investment into that person's life between family members of the same flesh."

"Like he's moving money around between different accounts?" Slim mused out loud one finger rubbing his forehead. "Or moving cattle from a rundown pasture to fresh grass."

"Exactly! He has belonging rights to those accounts by blood, he's just redistributing resources. He's not losing or costing him anything anywhere."

"Ya, remember him saying when he first woke up from giving Jessie blood at her birth. Said it wasn't anything for him, just drink more water and make another gallon of blood basically because she wasn't up to speed yet and he was. He couldn't build a baby human, but he could make blood." Slim shook his head in amazement how these truths were dove tailing.

"Life is investing in people and is more satisfying than wealth, Slim. You invested in Jess when you pulled him off the 'wide open' and showed him a purpose where Jess found his niche in giving of himself into people's lives. It was a better life than always scrapping and fighting with every human he met out of his survival mode he was forced to live because of his childhood. So getting him off the wide open you began to refocus and tune his genesis into its proper healthy function of producing. The initial areas are in producing sustenance for living like money to buy food, provide shelter, then begin to bring lives under that umbrella of supply. You're simply receiving a return on investment for what you sowed in Jess' life. It's a secret I discovered and is what motivates me in life since marrying Maggie. You shouldn't look at it as "owing Jess" for anything, but should see it as you moving Jess further forward in life by helping him find his footing and station in life by giving into your world something that comes natural from inside Jess. You are receiving a return on investment. It's not so much Jess giving blood but sharing his life source out of love for people who are important to him. Giving that spark of life is the natural, created role of the man who ignites life by joining the woman's egg. You're helping Jess come to the place in his life where he wants to spark life, in other words igniting the healthy growth into fatherhood Jess was created to be. You can see the happiness exuding from Jess' soul every time he gifts of himself to someone, such as giving his blood to Josie or Jessi."

Slim added. "You mentioned on our first meeting how money didn't matter so much to you anymore, but that you'd found more satisfaction in investing in people. Is that what you mean with Jess?"

Chuck rubbed his chin thoughtfully musing, "Well, yes. I guess so." Shaking his head. "There he's done it again."

"What?"

"Moving ahead of pace. He's doing at 30 what took me to at least 45 to discover about what's really important. He's doing it instinctively, though, I'm not so sure his mind has identified it….that will arrive later. Good catch, Slim. You're not so far off the right path if you can see that."

"Well, Jess has had a tremendous effect on me deep, down, inside where I live. Like no other person."

"You have a strong moral integrity, Slim, that causes you to feel debt to Jess for his donating blood – I'm not denigrating that at all. But from his perspective, he's not giving anything away to anybody because those he's giving TO are already of piece of himself. Since he's not giving it away, then nobody owes him anything. You have a very unique relationship marrying a twin to someone you are also connected deeply with as a pardner. You're more than brothers, and married to his twin. It's a very beautiful prism… and very rare. I suspect it will include Jessie too, more so than Matt. Matt will be your true shadow, but Jessie is a female and Jess connects deeply to females – especially vulnerable ones because that's all he had as a small child copying his mother. He's like a zebra imprints to its mother's pattern. He's justified in his head what he is doing by sheer instinct, then his brain later connects the understanding."

"So my moral integrity just has to see this through Jess' eyes, he's not giving away blood where I owe him, he's rearranging resources like changing pastures where one pasture runs down. Only it's not business with him, it's a burgeoning fatherhood making life and death decisions because this is a blood resource."

"Now you're tracking, Slim. With knowledge and wisdom comes understanding. You reclassify in your mind according to the truth. How much change, growth have you seen in Jess since you met him and has it been for the better or worse?"

"Lot of change, Chuck. At first meet we butted heads, but Andy slowed things down some and I took a second look and found real solid gold. But that gold was being tightly guarded by him and he wasn't inclined to become tethered down. Once he started to stick, things from his past kept catching up and he'd unhitch and take off. I thought at first he was just a no- account who ran, but then when I'd give him just a tad bit of backing and we worked off that past issue, he'd come back and attach a little stronger. I finally figured out when he'd detach, he was trying to protect me and Andy from the dangers of his past. Eventually, I guess I proved myself to him the type who wasn't going to judge him for all the glitches in his life, and just kept an open hand out, and he finally stuck down pretty good. The longer he stuck the better we got to know each other finding out just how alike we are inside where the fence posts go in and that we were stronger together than by ourselves. And today….. I just pushed him away, this time with my good intentioned moral integrity." Slim's eyes were brimming in moisture again and he brought his hand over his mouth, realizing what he said. "Dadgum….I never …..ever….wanted to hurt him. He's gone through too much pain."

"But the point is, Slim, now you look back you understand him from a better knowledge or perspective than what you saw originally. You are older AND you had the better, more solid foundation. He trusted you sharing that dream with you and shared with you something very intimate he was feeling inside that he'd never even thought of before, what it would feel like to have something living come from his body."

"Ya, we barely got him woke up in the hospital with Jessie on his chest, that was another of his first comments. How something that tiny and complete could come from one's body. That dream had to be on his mind…he even mentioned it had started back up again when Josie got pregnant."

"His fatherhood is in a gestating state, Slim. It's been activated, by the dream, by connections with kids and animals, with Josie coming into his life, now going through her pregnancy and the birth of a niece. So it's forming inside him needing to become fully birthed into reality. But the desire has to be there first, and that's definitely there. I 'spect that's what's holding back committing to a marriage, but you can't deny what's in your roots, Slim. He'll come when it's time, when he's ready. He just has to work through a lot of thick scars and handicaps from an abused life to be healthy enough to complete a delivery. You just watch…. it'll be soon."

"So he's going through puberty late?"

"No, he's well into adult male hood, but the spirit part of him where you bond got left behind and it's trying to catch up. Boy's body turns into a man quite fast and happens long before his spirit and his understanding catches up with the power of generating life that has been granted him. Jess went through puberty as normal as any boy but in a time in his life he was so busy trying to survive facing one death after another with no role model. His spirit was left behind in discovering or understanding the power of creating life, therefore he couldn't desire it."

"I need to go talk with him." Slim was gathering up inside himself to stand and bolt out the door. Chuck raised his index finger suspending him.

"You can't just run up and tell him Slim. He'll.."

"Ya, I know. Knock my block off. I understand. You and me, just coach from the sidelines, keep him steady and in the game… he's got to figure it out his self."

" 'At's right, son. Wisdom is more valuable than gold. And working with people developing their potentials and joining with them, has become my goal and greatest joy….worth more than all the money in the world. You're discovering that watching Jess and helping him. He's doing it with you, too. So you two are a great pair."

"I've got to go talk with him, at least patch up our disagreement. Do you know what his agenda was today? Where I can find him?" Slim was missing having Jess underfoot worse than going 3 days without food.

Chuck slumped back slightly in his chair and looked into his empty cup.

"Well…..Slim, he's pulled out. He just took off…. was pretty upset too. Seen him like that once before when I met Josie's attorney….put the hair right up on my neck."

"Did he say when he'd be back?" Slim was on the edge of his chair, his forehead went up deeply concerned.

Chuck grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck in memory. "I dunno, Slim. He was already upset through supper last night, then you two went at it today." Chuck looked up through his eyebrows at Slim as though dropping a hint. "He did just get a wire from the oil company. The refinery was collecting pump 2 and they found a pool for a 3rd Lizard well is about to blow. They asked him to come into the Denver office to sign for another new pump. But he packed some clothes and threw it over Traveler like he'd be gone a while."

Chuck looked at Slim whose face was becoming aghast and was speechless.

"I kinda figured something had gone wrong somewhere when he said he'd be back for Sasha once he found a place. He was pretty aloof it sent Sara bawling to her room…..Maggie had to go calm her down. After he read the wire gave it back to me is how I found out there was some oil business that might snag him down…." Chuck cleared his throat…. "…from gettin' too far down the road."

"You think he'd really leave?" Slim's voice cracked and was barely a whisper and he stood up.

"Said he didn't want to but had to for Josie's sake, whatever that means. Coulda sworn he was near tears, too."

Slim sat back down in a thud rubbing both hands up and down his face. "He told me once that a man has more freedom to pick up and go where a woman's life makes her dependent on the man. So he's giving up what he has here so's Josie and the twins are cared for." Slim shook his head and mumbled, "That was another time when his kin lied and failed him….like I just did."

"Well, one of us is headed for the Denver oil company where they sell pumps 'cause I made my mistake letting him go back in Texas when he was a tadpole and ain'ta gunna repeat myself." Chuck was rubbing his knees, stood up and took his empty coffee mug to the kitchen sink.

"I'll go, Chuck, I made this mess, its mine to clean up. Just let me go tell Josie." Slim stood again and followed Chuck.

Chuck looked up into Slim's face with a father grin. "Let me know if you need help. He's one stubborn kid."

"And you are one heck of a father, Chuck. You've already been a huge help. Thank you. Give Maggie and Sara a hug for me and tell them I'll do my best."

Slim walked Chuck to the door with his hand on Chuck's shoulder much like he'd always done Jess.

CHAPTER 9: ANNIE's STORY

It was one of those days that just went on forever and time inched by in slow motion. Chuck's 'father talk' only took 15 minutes and Slim was nearly shoved out the door by Josie 5 minutes later because her empathy was going nuts and she was afraid Jess was in danger. Slim changed from Buck's morning work to Alamo and arrived around 2 p.m. at the oil company's field office that had sent Jess the wire requesting him to come in. Because of Josie's urgency Slim had taken some short cuts he knew across country to save time. Chuck had only given him the name of the business and that he thought it was close to the hospital the twins had just been born, so it took Slim several minutes to find the place including asking several folks on the sidewalk because he'd never been there and didn't see or know the address. He'd turned the entire oil part of the original ranch over to Jess basically because Jess found it and next, Slim didn't know or want anything to do with oil. In his mind, Jess was from Texas, so that qualified him and made it his responsibility. As Slim was riding around trying to find the place he had second thoughts. Well, Jess did have a way managing to get his self into predicaments causing injury and barely escaping death repeatedly. SO Slim was beginning to think he needed to back Jess up in the oil part of this thing, too, and get his self into the loop. Wandering around like this was purely stupid and wasteful and should Jess have gotten his self into a predicament per usual, minutes could be life or death. Apparently this oil business was turning into something that had some value and roots in the original ranch so he needed to begin paying more attention to it and to Jess' personal involvement, at least ways until he got married. Well finally! He sighted the oil company, a small store front maybe the size of the old bakery store in Laramie. Although sandwiched between other businesses and small, it was well appointed, well-lit and quite tidy naturally with an oil pump painted on the front window. Chuck was becoming quite a valuable resource of knowledge and experience and would have picked nothing less when he'd lined this outfit up for Jess. Slim swung down from Alamo and tying him to the hitching post he noticed the street looked somewhat torn up from something recent. At the end of the block was a bank and there was a buzz of people milling around carrying out debris. He frowned and looked up and down the block then pushing his hat up on his forehead went inside the office.

"Yes Sir, can I help you?" Asked the man behind the counter as he closed the journal book he'd been writing notes. Slim could tell by the quality of furnishings and the business dress of the man greeting him as to why Jess would feel the need for some tailored business wear he'd ordered at the wedding. This guy was in a nice suit, not a pair of overalls and the furnishing at the least met the lawyer John King's office.

"Morning. I'm Slim Sherman. Looking for Jess Harper. I believe this office sent…"

"Oh, yes Mr. Sherman. Jess is becoming quite an impressive oil man. Jake took care of him. He's got another well coming in and we needed to get the papers signed to get a new pump delivered out there. He's mentioned you're his pardner and friend. I'm Pete." Pete was smiling big and held out his hand for a vigorous, firm and friendly handshake. He was an older man, scrawny not an ounce of weight and kinda boney and talked similar to old Ben who used to help out at the relay station, much like folks from the deep south closer to the Texas side.

"Well, do you know where he's at now?"

The man frowned quickly becoming aware Slim was uninformed of the development. "Here, won't you have a seat. Some coffee?" He pointed to the desk behind the counter and opened the half door that was on a swinging hinge while waving at the coffee pot on the stove behind him. The coffee pot was on a modern or new stove in a small built in kitchen area. It was not heating on the furnace stove.

"I'd really like to find Jess." Slim thought to himself 'What's he done now?' smelling a dodge ….six years tracking Jess was like a college degree in police investigations. Jess could smell apple pie but Slim could smell a trail of frenzy from something Jess had stirred up. He hadn't eaten in 3 days due to his internal stress and the coffee sounded good but he waved it off because he didn't want to stay. Obviously something was afoot but he sat down anyway on the front edge of the chair as Pete took his chair behind the desk.

"Well, you obviously haven't heard what happened."

Slim grit his teeth. He just knew inside himself something was wrong and Josie's urging him to get right over here had only cemented it. Pete could tell from Slim's face that he needed to get to the point fast.

"Jess is ok…but he's over at the hospital getting patched up. Jess wanted Jake to take him only to a Dr. Tim. Wouldn't let anyone else touch him."

"What happened?" Slim was desperately trying to be patient, his bum barely on the front edge of the chair.

"Well, I was gone most of this mornin' and only got the story from Jake listening when he filled in the Doc. Just briefly, after they got the paperwork done there was a little girl in a runaway buggy that went past the office out there and Jess was able to haze down the horse and rescue the little girl who was alone in the buggy. He barely got her calmed down when some bank robbers came riding down the street in front here shooting the town apart. They'd killed all the bank people and four people in the street. Jess and the girl, Annie I think is her name, were ok from the buggy, but he shielded Annie with his body and dived back into our office here to get out of the street and line of fire. Annie was fine but Jess was hit several times and is why he's over at the hospital – getting patched up."

"How bad?"

"Pretty sure they worked on him most of the day and I haven't had a chance to get over there to check because we were loading the pump on a wagon. Pooling oil on the ground is a waste of crude and money and Jess isn't driven by money but he's made it clear he don't like messing up the ground. The Doc was pretty sure he'd be there for several days. Like I said, I got back here at the end of this. I believe he was hit in the left knee, his right arm here," Pete pointed to his bicep, "….and took one through the back came out the side of his right shoulder. Bleeding pretty badly near his spine but the doc was pretty sure it missed his spine. The knee and shoulder bleeding good, too. Doc was in a hurry to get him into surgery and Jess had passed out by the time we got him over there. Annie wouldn't turn loose of him and they had to drug her to get her off of Jess. She's a sweet, little thing, scared outta her mind. Jess was the only one who had been able to get her quieted, then he passed out and she lost it again… poor thing."

"How old is she? Where are her parents?" Slim was already standing and pulling his hat back down. He'd waited long enough….manners be damned.

"No parents I know of. She was alone in the buggy Jess pulled her from, nothing in the buggy. Can't be more than 5 or 6 years old. Cute kid, little and purely just scared." Pete stood and followed Slim to the door. "You know where to find the Doc's place?"

"Ya, know it well. My wife just had twins over there this spring. I've got to get over there."

"I understand. I've got Jess' bay and gear at the livery. My son, Charlie works there, taking real good care of him. He's good with animals. We're all quite fond of Jess, he's a lot of fun to be around Mr. Sherman." Slim was through the door and untying Alamo and looked back at Pete then quickly dug out several large coins and stretched back to Pete giving him the money. That was all the money Slim had on him but knowing Jess' attachment with his bay Slim was willing to go hungry and bum a bed somewhere if it meant being sure the horse was cared for and not sold off for overdue livery cost.

"This should start on the horse bill. I'll take care of picking up Jess' horse so don't let anything happen with him. Jess is quite fond of that bay. If you need anything I'll be at the hospital with Jess. Thanks for everything you've done for him." Slim pulled himself into the saddle without using the stirrups then gathering the reins, "Did he hit any of the robbers?"

"Jake said he never pulled his gun. It's over at the hospital with him. Probably didn't want to draw fire."

"Was the bank that was robbed the one he uses for the oil business?" Slim had a sudden last minute worry about the integrity of Jess' funds.

"No." Pete waved toward the bank down the street that was being cleaned up. "We quit using that bank about 2 years ago 'cause it gets robbed every few weeks. Clueless how they stay in business. We transferred to a bigger bank closer to downtown has more security and we make deposits for Jess there. Buddy of mine works there and says Jess doesn't seem to leave much there over maybe a couple hundred and transfers cash out somewheres. Made a joke that he has it buried in his mattress but I don't believe that. He's too smart. You or Jess needs anything be sure and let me know."

"Thanks, I will." Slim frowned and shook his head slightly as he swiveled Alamo and nudged him seriously with his spurs and Alamo jumped forward. 'Jess NOT pull a gun on robbers running past him? But that would have drawn fire, so Pete was probably right.' Slim's mind was racing faster than Alamo was running. He made a mental note to check with Sarabeth where Jess keeps his cash stashed. He could believe Jess had it in some mattress but she'd know for sure. Maybe it was in that safe she bought him that he covered up with a routed out old tree stump.

Slim easily reached the hospital by 2:30 and after a flying dismount he handed Alamo off to an attendant nearby. This hospital had a small livery stable for patients and the attendant remembered him from the spring activity. So did the reception desk and although everyone was cordial Slim didn't linger for small talk. The Shermans apparently had made history and everyone knew Slim's clan…. including Jess who'd been there even more times than Slim. Slim strode into the room he'd been directed finding the halls mostly empty and quiet. This wing was the other direction from the baby area so he was reading directional signs as fast as he was striding, the sound of his spurs echoed through the halls. Like a dog to a bone Slim found Jess in the designated large room with the door open, maybe a half of a ward just off the surgical area where Josie had the babies, just the other direction. It looked more like a recovery area than a private room and at first he strode into the room past the nurse's desk but she jumped up and grabbed his elbow to stop him. She reported Jess was just out of surgery and not fully awake and didn't want Slim going in. But Slim promised to behave and she released him. There were 6 beds in the large room and Slim easily picked out Jess' shape laying on his left side in a bed at the far end. One other patient was in a bed near the door, an older person who was asleep was quickly passed up. As he got closer he could see a short lump in the bed next to Jess' in a child's shape facing Jess, also asleep and some kind of stuffed toy on a pillow and covered with a hospital towel was at the foot of the child's bed. That had to be the little girl's toy….looked like a sewn stuffed soft cloth horse about 12" squared, just the head was sticking out. Slim walked around Jess' bed to see the back side of him checking out the back shot but it was covered in bedding and supporting blankets which Slim adjudged shouldn't be moved. Then he walked back in front and sat down quietly on a chair stationed between the two beds and watched Jess' breathing and face for anything that would tell him what the heck was going on.

Jess' face was ghastly white with dark circles under his eyes, his hair askew and about a two day scruff started, but he was cleaned up and in hospital clothes and covered in bedding including 3 blankets. The hospital clothes was a wrap that was untied and he had been wrapped in bandaging covering most of his upper torso and right arm. Slim could only assume from the paled face and blankets they were dealing with the loss of blood and trying to keep Jess warm….again. It hadn't been barely a month from giving blood for Josie and Jessie. His heart sank….sure Jess was alive which allowed Slim to heave a sigh of relief, but he was injured again and on low blood supply plus worst of all their parting words had been heated. Slim looked again at Jess' face and saw the right temple and eyebrow were swollen and bruised, even with the eyelid closed, it was in full color. That had been where Slim had landed the second of a double punch blow on Jess in their fight, one to his temple, the other to his ribcage. Slim had felt Jess' ribs give and saw Jess cover his self as he'd landed the blow to the ribs and had thought it a bit strange that Jess had begun to back out of the fight at that particular moment. Jess never backed out of fights but now Slim understood why. Jess hadn't been set against Slim's blows and he'd hurt Jess, physically. Probably …well, definitely would have affected his vision and his core muscles trying to haze a runaway buggy and fend off armed robbers. A 6 year old girl, she looked small, but was at least 30 pounds. Slim was wondering where the herd of nurses were when somebody tapped him on the shoulder and it startled Slim so much that he jumped. He turned and saw Dr. Tim who was fingering a gesture for him to follow, so reluctantly Slim got up and followed him to the doorway of the room.

"That was fast, Slim. Just sent the wire to the ranch first thing this afternoon before we went into surgery."

"I never got any wire, Tim. Josie sent me because she knew something was wrong and Chuck Wentworth said Jess received a wire from the oil company needing him. They sent me over here."

"I should have known. Twin empathy. They're quite a pair. She and the twins ok?" Slim nodded yes observing Tim's face was pinched in exhaustion but compassionate and he was standing next to a gorgeous woman. "This is Abby, my wife. I don't believe you've met her yet."

Slim removed his hat and nodded her way and she smiled and took his hand in a firm but gentle way very much like Maggie. She had been out of town during the birth of Slim's babies. "I saw you at the wedding but we didn't have a chance to talk. A pleasure to finally meet you, Ma'am. You've done a tremendous job on Jess' braces and therapy and he speaks highly of you. Looks like we're back for more." Slim looked at Dr. Tim. "How bad is it?"

"You look pale, Slim. How long since you ate or slept?" Tim's face was tired but concerned over Slim's paleness.

"I don't remember. How bad is it!?" Slim repeated desperate for someone to give him the bottom line and he put the hat back on to keep his hands free, but pushed up in front.

"I've been standing in surgery all day Slim. We've got a little coffee shop right down the hall. Let's go sit down where we can talk and not wake him, shall we? He's still sleeping off the anesthesia but I've drugged him for the pain." Dr. Tim and Abby were already moving, so Slim took one more look at Jess and then followed. They got seated and Abby began bringing breakfast type snacks to the table with fresh coffee and while they talked Slim began piecing on tidbits…about all his stomach could handle.

"Medical first, then the event?" Dr. Tim asked. "I'll talk only if you'll eat."

Slim nodded and grabbed a hardboiled egg and began peeling it over the saucer his coffee cup had been set. Abby buttered several hot biscuits and began peeling more eggs for her husband, a protein.

"Bottom line, Slim he'll be fine but very sore and need some recovery. His wounds are in non vital areas but they tore up a lot of soft tissue, lost a good deal of blood both from the wounds and from the surgery patching him back together and he was pretty much out of it when they got him here. He was hit three times but they all have exit wounds. Reportedly they were shots from a bank robbery where the bandits were racing out of town went in front of the oil office where Jess had just rescued Annie from a runaway buggy. Two of the three bullets shattered, one in the left knee tearing up the calf muscle and the other entered his upper back near the spine and tore it's way laterally and out the right shoulder joint area. The third bullet went through his upper arm from back to front but didn't come apart, a clean wound. He's going to be one very sore cowboy. The entry from the back barely missed his spine by 7 centimeters." Dr. Tim held two fingers apart about ½ inch. "Had it hit the spine at that location it would have severed the spinal cord and he'd been paralyzed from the neck down, the bullet would have splintered and done even more internal damage and could have severed major blood vessels and arteries instantly killing him. He's got bruises on his forearms and rope or rein burns on his hands I assume came from hazing the buggy. What I can't determine is whether he has Irish luck or Somebody upstairs likes him very much. He keeps escaping death like a cat with nineteen lives."

Slim choked on his bite but quickly doused it with a gulp of coffee and coughed it into control as Abby reached offering to help. Once under control, Dr. Tim continued.

"Any one of those bullets would have killed Annie since they seem to fall apart at nothing. Nobody seems to know how he got the black eye and I found some extensive bruising under the surface near his stomach. Checking that lead me to discover several lower right ribs were cracked where they'd been previously broken. The men from the oil office stated they didn't see any time where he'd fallen or been hit by the buggy or horses." The Doc was fishing for answers and had a quizzical look at Slim as wondering if Slim might know. He paused and Slim stayed quiet in embarrassment so Tim offered, "Probably something happened in his ranch work."

Slim cleared his throat and had to blow his nose in several paper napkins sitting on the table. Then he took another sip of coffee. "Jess and I had a … well we got into.. It was mostly me. I was upset about how much he'd done saving the lives of my wife and baby girl. I… well..he'd just piled in saving them without asking me…. before that he'd arranged the purchase of the new ranch as a gift…dadgum it….it was his poker winnings that got all this started just before the buckboard crash….where I nearly killed him. Naturally he bristled up, I got in two punches before he was set and then he pulled out of it and ….just left me standing there. Seen him pile into as many as 5 men bigger than him and hold his own, thought nothing of it at the time…till I felt his side give and he walked away." Slim's exhaustion was bearing down too hard and his eyes began brimming in tears. "Now I'm feeling about 2 inches tall and he's trying to stay alive…..again…and saving a little girl. Pete, at the oil office said he never even drew his gun…just protected the girl and dove back into shelter. Jess – never pulling his gun to stop a bank robbery?" Slim began shaking his head in disbelief. "Josie's right, he just doesn't stop or pull up. When he first arrived in my life, he'd have been the first weapon drawn against them while hopping on the closest horse and leading the posse after them…. wouldn't matter bullets were flying his direction. Been such a change in him but now instead of causing trouble he's creating havoc in positive ways….but still running over people."

"People change, Slim. They grow. To stagnate is to die. Would only be a healthy thing for him to change. And they are positive activities, aren't they?" Abby asked gently.

Slim peered up over his coffee cup at them, "Ya, but so fast? Do people change that fast? Is it healthy?"

"Well, the healthier the environment, the faster people grow." Dr. Tim offered.

"Any long term problems with these injuries?" Slim was uncomfortable and reverted back to a safer topic.

"Pretty darn lucky, Slim. I don't see any problems, just the typical with Jess; a matter of keeping him from pushing too fast back onto his feet. I want to hold him a day or so make sure we've avoided any infection and that I've not missed some particle or shard of bullet fragment that will fester. I've got some drainage set up and want to monitor the swelling near his spine from the entry wound. Don't want prolong pressure on his spine cutting off blood flow and killing nerves and he needs to give his body time to rebuild his blood supply again."

Slim nodded agreement. "You know anything about Annie?" Slim asked looked between the two.

"Just her first name's all and she was stuck to Jess like a baby monkey. We had to drug her to get her to turn loose of Jess just to get him into surgery. While she was sedated Abby got her cleaned up and treated some minor cuts and bruises. She was squealing Jess was her daddy so we did a blood test."

"Blood test?"

"Ya, she's not a match in the least. About as far different as can be. So she's got to be fibbing so she didn't get separated from him."

"What do you mean? You can tell from blood?"

"Ya, it's a new area of blood science is how we found out Jess and Josie were related and why his blood could support Jesse from her blood type test. But there is no way Jess' blood type is even compatible with Annie's So they're not related." (For my fact checkers, blood type compatibility was discovered 1818 during a failed live transfusion).

"She has been abused." Abby offered gently and Slim frowned.

"Abused? You mean beaten?"

"That and sexually. There are bruises and scar tissues that are tattletales." Abby finished.

"A 6 year old!?" Slim was incredulous, turning angry and his fists tightened as his face reddened.

Both Dr. Tim and Abby looked back with pursed lips and raised eyebrows indicating it happens. Slim stood up so suddenly that his chair tipped back and almost fell over and he had to catch it. He paced back and forth in the small room a few times and began wondering as his hand came up to his mouth in thought. "I wonder."

"What?" Dr. Tim asked.

"If Jess knows anything about her. Pete said he was able to get her calmed down after getting off the buggy. Jess has this way with kids…. and then there's his childhood…..he would pick up on crap like that." Slim was mostly talking to himself.

Just then a nurse in the hall motioned to Dr. Tim who immediately stood as did Abby.

"Jess is stirring. I need to see how his pain level, make him as comfortable as possible. Do you want to …."

Slim was already striding down the hall back toward Jess' room.

"…..be there when he wakes up?" Tim's voice faded as he looked at his wife who grinned at him.

"A man of decision, I can tell." She smiled and she took his offered elbow and they quickly followed Slim.

Naturally even though he was as tall as the Slim, Tim was tired from the long surgery and was walking with his wife and arrived a second or two behind Slim. Jess didn't look changed at all so Slim figured he was waking slowly and sat down scooting the chair closer to Jess' bed to wait. The chair legs made a scooting noise on the floor which woke Annie and rubbing her eyes she slowly sat up and the bedding fell back. She was in a child's hospital gown that was purposefully a little large on her. Once she finished scrubbing her eyelids with her knuckles she immediate saw her toy stuffed animal on his pillow bed and crawled to check the toy pulling the towel blanket back. Slim could see one front leg of the toy had been bandaged in real hospital gauze. Immediately as a team both Dr. Tim and his wife went into action and in support of Annie stopped at the toy's pillow bed to help Annie check out the condition of her "injured" toy horse.

"Good morning, Annie. Did my little nurse get some sleep?" Abby asked and Annie nodded but continued pulling back the towel blanket.

"Shall we check out our patient?" Dr. Tim offered up the end of his stethoscope and Abby gently moved Annie's fingers back from the middle of the toy's body. Annie looked briefly first at Dr. Tim then at Abby and saw they were serious and supportive in compassion, so she stood by. Tim listened intently to several locations on the toy.

"Sounds nice and strong. Do you want to hear?" he offered and Annie nodded eagerly. The doctor put the ear pieces gently in Annie's ears and then directed the end of his stethoscope to the same places. Annie's eyes got really big and wide and Slim noticed the doctor covertly lightly tapping his finger on the other side of the toy's body mimicking a heartbeat. Annie smiled ever so sweetly and Tim took his tool back out of her ears. She immediately moved her hand to the leg's bandage to finger it.

"Dr. Abby, we need to check out his wound, and change his bandage, too."

"Yes, Dr. Tim. I've got the tray ready."

From somewhere Abby had pulled a tray complete with scissors and an almost empty roll of gauze. Tim opened his hand as though in surgery and Abby slapped the pair of scissors smartly in his palm like they were in surgery and Tim gently cut open the bandage. Underneath Slim saw two genuine surgical stitches on the lower front leg of the toy horse which had indeed closed a bullet hole in the toy but was done so neatly had the tails of the knots been trimmed off one couldn't have seen the thread or the hole. Slim couldn't repress the smile watching the two doctors working over the toy cloth horse trying to work around Annie's head as she peered over their hands watching intently. It was bedside manner at its best for a small, traumatized little girl preventing further bad memories. Slim quickly glanced at Jess to check him out and was about to turn back to the doctors but noticed Jess was very groggy, not quite awake and watching as best he could with one eye swollen mostly closed.

"Looks very good, Dr. Tim. Nice work on those stitches, too." Abby commented. "What do you think, Annie?"

Annie looked back up at both of them and her smile eased bigger as she blinked several times nodding her head. Dr. Tim stealthily reached behind the head of the horse and lifted it as though the horse was waking up and watching Annie and then the horse sniffed his front leg. He spoke at the same time,

"I don't see any problem, don't feel any fever. Looks clear. Let's get this re-bandaged." He instructed as Abby was already re-wrapping the toy's leg with more gauze. Annie softly stroked the forehead of her toy horse and then looked toward Jess' bed and pointed with her other hand.

"He's next, Annie. Do you need to use the bathroom first?" Dr. Tim wisely asked. "We'll do Jess when you get back."

"K." Annie softly answered and pulled back her bedding to clear her feet. Slim saw hospital slippers on the floor and reached over then put them on Annie's feet and then helped her out of the tall bed. In the process Annie's hospital gown edged up and older bruises were obvious high up on her inner thighs. Slim's forehead went up and his face went red in anger but he smiled at Annie not giving away what he saw. Annie's little hands softly steadied herself hanging on Slim's biceps and as he set Annie softly on her feet on the floor she mumbled, "tank you" so softly it was barely audible. Then she reached for Abby's offered hand and they took off slowly to the far end of the room and out the door to the ladies' room in the hall. Slim couldn't help but smile softly at the sweetness of the little girl instantly confirming why Jess would become involved because of her vulnerability.

Dr. Tim watched the ladies leave then turned and walked up behind Slim. Slim had turned quickly to see if Jess had seen Annie's bruising and it was obvious that he had. Jess had turned his head putting his entire face into the pillow and while Slim couldn't see any part of his face he knew from watching Jess' torso that he was fighting back his emotions, perhaps even some sobbing. Slim frowned and reached over and softly placed his hand on Jess' exposed left hand sticking out from under the bedding.

"Jess…." He started but Jess jerked his hand away smacking his self in the side of his head where the black eye was living and it caused Jess to recoil completely and begin to raise up to pull away from Slim. He ended up mostly on his stomach with his face still in the pillow, his right arm tucked in tight as the bandaging allowed and his left hand was nowhere in sight.

"Don't….." came the mumbled growl from the pillow and Slim's forehead arched up added to a deeper frown at Jess recoiling away from him. Jess' movements only began to wake up his injury sites, especially the spine area and he arched his back against the spasm and he lost a deep groan into the pillow. Both the leg and right arm were still numb.

That was all it took and Dr. Tim jumped in between Jess and Slim, "Easy, Jess. Try to stay still."

Jess recognized Tim's voice and stopped moving and brought his face down far enough from the pillow to speak.

"How bad?" was the deep baritone barely audible and accompanied by a wince against a rib jab having used air to speak with and it issued a "gumph" or something sounding close to it. Hard to tell when half smothered in a pillow. Slim made a face anyway; this was not going well. Having Jess recoil away from him hurt worse than being hit with 20 bullets and he backed away but kept watching to see what the Doc would uncover.

"Nothing we can't handle, Jess, but two of the three bullets shattered inside and did a good deal of plowing up soft tissue and one just missed your spine. You're going to be one sore cowboy and back on the fence post for a while. I want to check your back while you're right there. Need to keep you off your spine until the swelling goes down. I want to keep as much free circulation to your spinal cord so we don't end up with nerve damage lower in your body. Got it?" Tim wanted some level of acknowledgement from Jess' brain as confirmation of self control to work with him.

It took several seconds to a minute or so as Jess faded back into the drugged sleep and then resurfaced slowly. His left hand reappeared from under the bedding and began trying to pull the forest of eyelashes apart but the swollen eyebrow was too tender to be probed.

"Jess?" Dr. Tim gently nudged. He could tell Jess' brain had not registered the prognosis.

"Ya…sore….swelling….don't move. How's …she… lil girl…um…Annie?" Jess squirmed as pain shot through his body and he faded out again and both Slim and Tim saw it. About 20 seconds later he surfaced and Tim answered.

"Well, once we peeled her off your body and cleaned her up, she's ok. Some minor cuts and bruises but they look couple days old. Her horse had a small hole in its foreleg, looked like a bullet went through and was bloody, probably from your wounds. Abby was able to calm her down some by turning the horse into a patient and appointing Annie as his nurse."

"Hooter."

"Hoo?"

"Um…horse's name. Hooter." Yes, the horse was brown with black socks and had a nip on his forehead. It was made from leftover men's socks which back then came in limited colors.

"Oh. We couldn't get her to talk much other than her name, Annie and claiming you as her daddy. This looks good back here, Jess. Minor drainage is normal but it's clear, no fever. You want back on your side? Probably feel better if you can breathe. Let Slim and me move you so you don't pull anything loose or into a cramp." Tim coached.

Tim was already adjusting bedding and support pillows and hooking his arm across Jess' back supporting the move. Jess eased back onto his left side a little onto his back slowly with groans and winces. He shot a half side glare in Slim's direction not wanting his help but knew the pain would scream harder if he didn't get the doc some help. Besides, the room was spinning from the loss of blood….again….so he just closed his eyes and let them adjust him in the bed and pack the pillows and bedding. It was too bothersome at the moment to keep up with what was hurting, what was numb and what was screaming.

"Daddy?" his voice was barely audible. "Couldn't…"

"Not her blood type, Jess, don't worry. Did promise Annie we'd wait for her to check you out, so take a break, Jess. We need to find her parents. Do you know anything about her?"

Still woozy Jess laid his head back on the pillow with his eyes closed and brought his left hand back up to his temples to lightly rub the sleep from his eyes and test the blackened eye again having forgotten he'd already done that. He faded out again for about a minute.

Slim shot a frown at Tim concerned over Jess' slow wake up and Tim read his face.

"I'm having him sedated as he wakes up, Slim. With the blood he lost this time and so soon after the twin's birth, I don't want him ejecting from the bed, you know him. He's really not up to a second surgery patching anything he pulls loose from now. I ran into some significant amounts of scar tissue in that shoulder. You just can't keep plowing through tissue and not have some long term decay. I've treated him enough times I'm getting a handle on using just enough drugs to keep the thrashing down, in bed and some point of comfort. Soft tissue damage, at this level especially, is more painful than bone breaks."

"So where are all the nurses?" Slim asked and Tim smiled.

"Well, it's a little early, mostly they don't know he's here, yet. I may have to alert the nurse's desk to keep his identity quiet…..last thing he needs right now is all that activity."

Jess groaned and blinked one eye open still fighting dizziness.

"Jess? We need to find her parents." Tim nudged. "Can you tell me what you know…we'll do the rest."

"Once I a…. got her off the buggy and stop screaming, I had her introduce me to her horse she was choking. Said his name was Hooter and … was six years old like her. Said her mother left her in the buggy and went into one of the buildings …. didn't know which one. Ow! A bunch of nasty men came next to the buggy and untied the horse and shooed it away and she got tossed into the back. I got on board and stopped the buggy she jumped onto me then touched my eye and asked if my pa beat me too…" Jess hesitated almost looking in Slim's direction but stayed with his eyes closed.

Slim's forehead went up now realizing his hits on Jess and Jess' recoil backing away from their fight not only was because he not braced but most likely even opened up the ugly memories in Jess from his childhood's abusive father. Indeed, the hand to hand combat Jess always seemed to get into may well have sourced from the dad's treatment as the only way his dad dealt with things that upset him…. by throwing fists. Chuck's counsel was echoing inside Slim, "he never had a good adult male role model to know how to handle things."

"I told her ya he did but he was dead now …. I'd just run into something hard. She said she wished her pa was dead because he was always hitting her and her mother and hurting them, what she said, 'down there.' Was why they were running… cross country …to get away from him or hide. Guns started going off and I dove for the oil office to get her out of the line of fire. 'At's all I know. "

Annie came at a run back to Jess' bed with Abby trailing close behind.

"You promised you'd wait!" She accused unceremoniously and in an unlady-like manner crawled onto Jess' bed over the foot board as though climbing a tree.

"We did, Annie." Dr. Tim cooed softly soothing her anxious. "He's just now awake, but dizzy, so we're going slow." He reached to steady her from falling directly onto Jess but was too late and she plopped over onto his ankles.

Slim had to take a double look at Tim because when he cooed like that his voice went as deep as Jess' and for a moment it sounded like Jess had spoken.

"Oh."

Jess dropped his hand and looked at the foot of his bed feeling her weight on the bedding pinning the throbbing leg. It brought a light grimace but finding it was Annie he began covering up as much of the pain spasms as he could and cleared his throat.

"Hey, there's my Baby Cakes! How's lit'l Hooter?" he asked in typical Jess flavor adding in a small smile trying to hide the fact that she was spinning just as fast as the room. "Hey, Doc, can this bed roll me up so I can see my feet?"

"Ya…give me a second." Tim grabbed a lever and began cranking which slowly raised the head of the bed and Slim grabbed some pillows from Annie's bed and tucked them under Jess' head. When the bed stopped moving Jess re-opened his eyes and began to look more focused. Jess was about half raised to a full sit, but not fully and with one hand tried to adjust the hospital clothing under the bedding….back to the infernal hospital skirt of a gown.

"Ok, better. Now I can see your beautiful face. Hey! What- did- ya do with all those smudges you had all over you?" Jess smiled again and Annie blushed.

"I don't know, I think the lady doctor took them."

"She did!?" He played like he was looking her up and down in an inspection, "Better!" Jess offered. "You're too pretty to hide behind all that mud. Pretty hair, too."

"I don't want to be pretty, Jess. Ma cleans me up to go somewhere and ….he …." She started to dive emotionally.

"Hey…hey….c'mere. That's all in the past and stops right now. It's ok to be you, Baby Cakes."

She crawled forward on the bed and over his body completely unaware of either his injuries or his body parts and made herself at home sitting astride his waist as though that was her normal place. Her weight flattened him more onto his back but was padded underneath by a pillow. She leaned forward onto his chest face down sniffing tears. Jess covered up winces reaching to steady and direct her path with his left hand. Dr. Tim was also assisting from the right side of Jess' bed trying to protect his patient. He wasn't happy with the child being on top of Jess' injured body but it was that or face a repeat of uncontrolled child screams possibly tantrums as had happened when they first got him and Jess wasn't protesting. Dr. Tim decided a short time on his back was allowable, but monitored and as soon as possible back to his side. Jess thought her weight was just enough to flatten his back out and felt good. Under three blankets, though, he could still feel her every bone.

"I want you to be my pa, Jess. You understand me." She murmured into his chest.

Jess wrapped his left arm around her and what he could of his right arm and kissed the top of her head. "Ya, I know, Baby. It's ok, though. I'm here, now."

Tim packed some pillows supporting Jess' right arm trying to keep a small angle of his full weight off to Jess' left side. Annie and Abby were fighting their own tears and Abby was shaking her head slightly looking at them and then toward her husband. She nodded toward Annie and then back at Tim and Tim nodded he understood. Between their medical brains they saw a 6 year old girl who'd been abused and raped unknown multiple times have no qualms or inhibitions crawling over Jess' adult male body, straddle his lap and lean onto his chest in wide open trust and confidence – knowing him for less than a day expressing her desire to have him replace what was known to her only as a bad father.

"So the doctors fixed Hooter's bummy?" Jess coaxed.

Annie nodded and sat up then pointed past Slim to where Hooter was "sleeping" on his pillow again and Jess winced at the weight change against his cracked ribs.

"I'm sorry he took a hit, Baby Cakes. Was trying to protect both of you. My fault." Jess offered wiping her tears with his left forefinger and she nestled the side of her head into his hand.

"Not you. Happened before we left….my pa was mad at Ma and shot his gun off over her head and it turned around and hit Hooter in the leg while he was on my lap. He just didn't start bleeding until you ducked us into that building when those guns were going off. Doc did a great job. He even has two whole stickers." She held up three fingers and that brought a small smile to Jess' face.

"Stitches, Sweetie. Stitches." He cooed.

He nudged her chin with a bent index finger coaxing her to repeat the word but the best she could stutter was "Stick ies." So Jess smiled,

"Once he's healed up, they cut the 'stickies' loose and you won't see a thing." Jess taught gently.

"Did the Doc give you stickies, too?"

"He got lots of stickies, Annie, because he's taller." Dr. Tim explained. "Need to try and be gentle with him just like you do Hooter."

"I will. Promise." Annie's stomach growled loudly but she didn't seem to notice. Everyone else did.

"When did you eat last?" Jess asked.

"I don't know." Annie looked down and started fiddling with the gauze bandaging wrapping Jess' chest and shoulders. Since the room had a tendency to begin spinning with no advance warning and upon no discernable motive, Jess had taken the hem of her hospital gown draped over her knee to help him sense where she was at and if she was balanced in case she started to move. He figured if he couldn't see her begin to fall, at least he'd feel her lose balance.

"Are you hungry?" He asked softly.

"I guess so. Doesn't matter. Ma's been out of money for a long time and I don't have any." She was still looking down.

Jess closed his eyes briefly and disheartedly frowned. A low moan escaped with a half side nod and his face finally flushed some color in anger. Slim shook his head and looked down swirling in a soft 360 degree circle in disbelief….another hungry child.

"I got money, Baby Cakes, 'sides this room comes with food, like the bed. You see both these Docs and this tall guy here?" Jess motioned to Slim. "His name is Mr. Slim."

Annie looked at Slim longer seemingly memorizing his features but her eyes were wide open and drinking in a pretty sight, even for a little girl.

"He's weally tall!" She exclaimed. Slim smiled with one corner of his mouth. "His hands are big and warm, too." She looked back at Jess still twiddling now holding in one hand the edge of his hospital gown wrapped but not tied down and a fistful of bedding in the other that she thought was Jess' clothes. "He helwped me off the bed. He's got nice eyes."

Slim blushed slightly but the anger over her being hungry for days was eating his new fatherhood and he was feeling hungry too from not eating for three days.

"These three people are my best friends, Baby Cakes. You can trust them just as much as me. Do whatever they say. Ok? I bet they know where the food is. You can eat as much and anything you want, Baby Cakes and any time you're hungry. I'll take care of the money, you just take care of Hooter."

Jess looked around checking for sunlight in the windows and saw a clock on the wall showing 4:30 in the afternoon, still time enough to get some stuff done for Annie. He began looking back and forth between Annie and Abby as leading Abby with cues. "If you need some clothes, I bet Dr. Abby knows where to get some. I'll take care of that, too. Get several outfits, day ones and some frilly stuff, ok? And some decent jammies and girl things." Jess tugged at the hem of her hospital gown. "Anything you want, Baby Cakes." He looked quickly at Abby and dropped his voice adding, "Got another well come in. Whatever she needs, ok? Or wants." He looked back at Annie, "Some luggage to tote it in. Maybe a pair of cowgirl boots so I can teach her to ride. Would you like that?" Annie nodded vigorously.

Abby nodded. "I know just the store. The clothes she was wearing fell apart when I cleaned her up."

"Ya, I know. They were torn and filthy when I grabbed her off the buggy." Jess was fading fast, "Was afraid to move my hand …were so thin." He leaned back more into the pillows, "….feel every rib she's got, too. Daggum it."

"Can I have my own brush?"

"Well of course, a mirror and comb, too. Anything you want, Annie. Maybe Dr. Abby can take you to a lady hair person, get the whole beauty thing you ladies do." Jess looked more closely and Annie's hair was shoulder length and thick strawberry blonde but it was oddly chopped and ragged especially across the bottom.

"With the wire Tim sent, I 'xpect Josie, Sara or Maggie to show up soon. Maybe they can help, too." Slim offered.

Jess brought his head back up a little, "Oh, Maggie! Now, SHE's a shopper! She knows where to find anything a girl needs. Best you go get something to eat first, so's you have energy to go shoppin'! You're a girl, gotta raise you proper." Jess softly rubbed the side of her cheek with the front edge of his left forefinger fishing for a smile and got one, with a full set of dimples.

"Oh, dadgum….Slim. She's got dimples, too! 'er's a heart stealer."

Annie actually giggled then dove back into Jess' chest for another hug and Jess kissed the top of her head again then closed his eyes quickly to avoid losing tears. A little girl should have all things pretty and never have to worry about money to buy food. Memories of his own poor childhood, handed down clothes that never fit and always hungry stomach were never far away. When she sat back up Jess took her cheek in his hand fingering her chin and captured her eye contact and made her hold it for several moment looking him straight in the eyes. "You're gunna be ok, Annie. We'll make this together. You understand me?"

Annie teared up and Jess wiped them gently from her cheek with his big thumb. "Nothing but happy tears, ok?"

"K. I love you, Jess. Don't care about stuff…just want you to be my pa." Her voice was tiny and soft.

"We'll work on a plan soon as I can get my boots on the ground again. Now don't worry. Go get something to eat. Doc's gunna check my shoul …stickers and I'm headed back for a nap. Have some girl fun."

"I don't want to leave you, Jess…..not find you ever again." Annie was worried Jess would disappear.

"Ain't going nowhere far and all three of these people will know where I am. Just be sure you stay with them and be a good girl for me, ok?" Jess advised.

"k." It was a tiny voice.

Jess' words were encouraging to the little girl but Slim could hear the fatigue and disconnect between Jess and himself. Even though Slim had been introduced as a trusted friend, he could hear in Jess' voice that he'd backed away some and knew that he'd hurt Jess somewhere inside or at the minimum had stirred up all the old scar tissue of memory.

"Don't know where my gear is but had almost a hundred in my vest, if it's still there, Abby. I'll have Slim get some more…whatever she needs." Jess was wobbling sitting in the bed and his voice was losing umph.

Abby came close and offered her hands out to Annie and Jess nodded for her it was ok to go. Annie reached back to Abby who delicately collected Annie from Jess' lap being sure to lift her and not bump anything painful.

"Be gentle with his stickers, Mr. Doc." Annie's little voice instructed as she was being lifted. "He's all me and Hoot's got in the whole world."

Abby set her down on the floor and they started to walk away when Annie remembered Hooter and started to grab him off the pillow bed.

"An't….leave him to sleep here with me so's he can heal up. Us fellers got to stick together." Jess motioned for Slim to bring Hooter's pillow and bed to his which Slim did and gently tucked him between Jess' feet. Annie looked up at Abby and they smiled at each other and took off down the hall for the café.

"You sure are pretty Mrs. Doc." Annie's tiny voice faded as they left the room. "An' you smell good, too."

Dr. Tim and Slim watched the ladies leave and turned back to look at Jess but he had laid his head back deep into the pillow and covered his face with his left hand and was shaking his head slowly while trying to smother tears. His chin was drawn up and his lips slightly pooched in keeping his mouth from verbalizing the deeper unhappy thoughts. Dr. Tim checked Jess over and they both ended up headed for naps after the Doc got some snack foods and beverages on Jess' nightstand. While Tim worked checking him out Jess gave Slim instructions on how to get some money with the help of Pete at the Oil Company who'd know which bank to use and could vouch for Slim's right to obtain a withdrawal. Jess suggested $300 as to what was in the account Pete could get to and that way Slim would have operating funds. Slim left the hospital and met up with Pete then went into detective mode trying to find the mother but ran out of daytime.

Abby and Annie came back several hours later by evening loaded with a cute carpet bag loaded with new underclothes, several play clothes and dresses, several footed pajamas, one frilly dress, a cowgirl outfit and hair items all from one children's store Abby knew about. Both of them had visited Abby's hair dresser and because Annie didn't know what that was Abby went first to prove it was safe. She found out working around a downburst of tears that Annie's hair had been chopped off several times in her life as punishment so the hairdo area was a little slower to get done and Annie wanted to keep as much length as possible. So Abby worked it all out with her hairdresser. When they arrived back at the hospital Jess made quite a fuss over how attractive she was in just her natural beauty and thanked Abby profusely.

Slim had come back just behind the ladies having sent a wire to the ranch to update them on finding Jess. Pete had no problem at all obtaining the money from Jess' account, vouching for Slim who tried to hand Jess the envelope of money withdrawn off Jess' oil account. He brought with him a sack full of child favorite snacks such as fresh cookies, several lollipops and a child sized homemade quilt in pink that he anticipated Annie to use for herself. After a quick check glance to Jess who approved, she eagerly took the sack but put the quilt over Hooter replacing the towel. Jess directed to Slim to give the envelop to Abby to take whatever costs she'd used including her own costs, payment for her time and take a tip, too. Abby was reticent because she'd found Jess' gear and the $100 dollars but Jess gave her a "don't mess with me look" and she took the envelope and extracted a few more bills and handed the rest back. Jess pointed to Slim to hold onto it whilst gesturing he had no pockets on his person and to use whatever he needed during his stay in town for a hotel room and food. That surprised Slim but he took it and put it in his pocket. He needed to use some of it, too, because he hadn't brought much money beyond what he'd given Pete for Traveler's keep and had not planned to stay a few days. It surprised Slim more because Jess had arranged a pull of $300 out of the account and Slim rarely saw that much cash in one spot on his self or Jess. It was not uncommon for the whole Sherman household to live off of $300 for a couple months, and even in Denver rates allowed Slim more than enough for a couple days. Yet Jess seemed blasé to the cash or its value. All the finances that had been showing up since Jess' lucky poker game constantly surprised Slim, yet it was all legitimate and earned. He'd just worked hard all his life as his pa had and they never saw that much cash at once. Jess wasn't bent over about the cash or the increase and was just as scruffy as before. He treated money much like food, a necessity to take care of a need be it hunger or supplies, the rest sat in various accounts mostly forgotten except for Sara's management. Slim hoped they'd always stay that way. Money was merely a tool, as Jess seemed to care less and Chuck seemed dedicated to helping people more, sounded good to Slim. Slim made note to himself to give the envelope to Jess when they checked him out of the hospital….and he captured receipts for Sara or wrote notes on the envelope including the stabling cost for Traveler and what amount Abby had taken or used. At Jess' request Slim also picked up a set of outdoor clothes for him since his original outfit had become rags and he needed a size larger to fit over the bandages.

Having satisfied Dr. Tim that he was out of danger, later that day after the ladies' return Jess was transferred to a private room and food was brought for both him and Annie. Yes, Hooter stayed with him and a smaller bed from the children's section was moved into the room with him for Annie. While Annie started to fuss if they were separated, Jess over ruled her fuss because he wanted to have control if either of her parents showed up and wanted Annie in his room, along with his gear including the gun. So Dr. Tim made it happen extracting a promise from Jess to stay in bed in return. Slim retrieved some food from the hospital café and brought it to Jess' room and the three ate their late evening meal together before turning in to bed. After Jess and Annie had fallen asleep he left word at the nurse's desk how to reach him and turned in late at the closest hotel. It had been a very, very long day and Slim didn't remember his head hitting the pillow and he jerked awake at 10:30 the next morning in the same clothes and position he had fallen into the bed.

Jess slept quite a lot the next two days and Annie tended Hooter and seemed happy to sleep as well and their food was brought to the room where they ate together. Slim brought in some carried in food like fried chicken from a local café, or from the one down the hall and sometimes all the food was on the table top and they all shared camped out with Jess propped in his bed. Annie loved fried chicken. A couple of times Annie volunteered to help Jess get food into his mouth because he was one-handed and Jess let her feed him so that she felt some control over matters. Most of the time Annie started sleeping in the child's bed, but ended up in the middle of the nights snuggled into Jess' back and regularly had nightmares.

Annie had carried no identification or personal items beside the stuffed toy horse and either couldn't remember her last name or really didn't know it as the mother's effort to hide the child from the father. Over the next day or so while Jess slept Slim did some more research trying to find Annie's parents talking with the sheriff and businesses on the street around the oil office. The closest he could get was an unidentified female about the right age trying to get a loan at the bank that was robbed. During the frenzy of the robbery she had become separated from her identification papers and the bank staff had all been killed during the robbery. Apparently the robbers had all but destroyed the inside of the bank where she'd been found unconscious. She'd been wounded in the robbery with a head and a shoulder wound and had gone further into a coma and was not expected to live. The hospital she'd been taken to different than the one Dr. Tim worked from wouldn't allow Slim to see her because he was not family and couldn't describe her, so she remained unknown. After a terse discussion with Jess regarding the disposition of Annie, with Dr. Tim's help of persuasion they got Jess to agree to leaving word and contact information with the sheriff's office as to Annie's whereabouts being taken in Jess' custody back to the DKBS should anyone with legal rights come looking for her. If no one did within 6 months, then they would seek adoption for Annie on a permanent basis once Jess got back on his feet. Jess wanted to adopt her but everyone told him it would be difficult to do since he was single and a male. Slim would have the advantage but that just re-stoked the angst seething under ground between Slim and Jess and neither one wanted to revisit their fight. Slim wanted to buy time to get Jess back into Chuck and Maggie's guidance before pressing any further issues regarding Jess' parenthood desires.

As for the nurse herd, the hospital became extremely busy with not only the bank robbery victims, but there was a train accident in downtown Denver that filled up the hospital with patients and everyone was stretched pretty thin in support staff. It was one of the reasons Dr. Tim approved doubling up in Jess' room because several dozen children had been injured and they needed every bed they had in the kid's wing.

Three days later a very reluctant Dr. Tim released Jess from the facility under pages of rules and after half a day where Abby taught him therapy instructions plus included a promise to mandatory bed confinement for a full one week period until his body had the chance to rebuild his blood supply. Also, the buggy was to go no faster than a horse at walk and no horseback riding for at least one week due to the spine swelling. He even hand wrote a 3 page report to be given to Maggie as medical facilitator as to what to do, expect and look out for in taking over Jess' treatment and watch for any indications of missed fragments working their way to the surface. Tim kept bringing that up and Slim asked why and was told Tim could not account for enough pieces to rebuild 2 bullets in what he'd removed in shrapnel, so it worried him. The release from the hospital included "instructions for removing Hooter's stitches" so that Maggie could take over helping Annie deal with all the medical and still feel needed. Jess wanted out of the hospital period, so he naturally "agreed to" anything to get released. They collected Traveler, loaded Jess and Annie with her new piece of luggage filled brim full with new girl accoutrement into a rental 4 person buggy and took off for home with Slim driving and their two mounts tied on behind. Annie would only get into a buggy if connected some way to Jess' body because she was still dealing with nightmares of the runaway buggy event. Since there wasn't room for three of them in the front seat and Jess' bandages limited flexibility, he mostly reclined in the back seat with his leg propped up and Annie attached to his frame. Slim had sent a second wire to the ranch advising them of what had happened and the intended plan so things could be set up ahead of their arrival with Annie being put up in Jr's old bedroom down the hall from Jess' room. He'd received a wire back from Maggie welcoming with open arms offering to help where ever they could. The Wentworths were overwhelmingly delighted Jess was coming back, in whatever shape or need.

On the drive back to the ranch it didn't take long for Annie to get sleepy with the rhythm of the road. Since Slim was driving and Jess couldn't hold her he turned from straight to cockeyed in the back seat so they could secure her laying down in the back seat with her head on Jess' lap and tucked in with her luggage bag on the floor with Jess' left leg propped on it securing both. A mile or so down the road in the silence Slim decided to try to talk things out with Jess so he turned slightly in the front seat so he could keep at least half an eye on the two in the back, mostly Jess' face. After all, one walking horse in the country is not multitasking overload especially for someone as horse savvy as Slim.

"Jess I need you to hear me out on something I need help on." Slim started.

Jess shook his head slightly thinking to himself, 'oh no, what is it with buggies and long conversations? Another buggy counsel like Josie? Better not be another sex topic.' The thought delayed his response and Slim looked back briefly.

"Ya. Something knawing on you?" Jess mumbled.

"Yes. Been working on me for a while and I… well, I just need help."

"Not like I'm going anywhere for now. What is it?"

"Couple things, I guess business first."

Jess didn't answer so Slim proceeded.

"I've been rethinking this oil business coming off the homestead property and leaving the whole thing in your lap was not right, or fair. This trip has brought it to the front burner in priorities."

"I can handle it and Sara's stepped up handling the paperwork." Jess was looking at the scenery with his left hand securing Annie in his lap and his right arm bandaged into his torso under a new oversized shirt Slim had bought. He was still somewhat miffed at Slim's treatment and plowing into him that caused him to pull out, but being injured and now with a toddler, he knew he needed help and Slim was still the man Jess knew he needed and wanted at his back. But doing business and getting chummy again was in deep question.

"I'm fine with her doing that, in fact if she's looking for more accounting, let me know…I got a horse ranch now and it's a lot more complicated than the stage stop. But should something come up like it did with this that limits your involvement, you need someone to back you up and know what is where and how you want things handled. She can't run pump sites, either. I need to be there for you and I wasn't. I didn't even know the name of the oil company you'd gone to see, Jess. In an emergency, that was wrong."

"No argument there. Don't like running it solo. We've always been a team in the business."

"We get you back up to speed then I'll get with you so you can show me the ropes, just tell me a time when you're up to it. I don't want to run the decisions, that's still yours, but I need to know what's what so I can…" Slim wanted to say "have your back" but wasn't sure Jess still wanted him there.

"Fine." Jess interrupted. He hadn't liked Slim not being in the loop at all and didn't need long explanations. "With the oil business, estate money, purchasing the ranch for you two, our partnership, Chuck advised me to make a Will, too. Did that before my shoulder was fixed a year ago and it all goes to you and Josie as next of kin…then Chuck and Maggie as back up."

"Good to know and I guess I need to do that too." Slim got thoughtful.

"Ya, especially now you have heirs and are a major land owner."

"Which esquire did you use?"

"Chuck's. He was familiar with the land ownership and partnership arrangements."

"Makes sense. I'll get with him. Was it expensive?"

"Nope, not bad at all, quite a bit less than all the other stuff he built. Basically one document, several pages depending on details. Chuck also advised keeping all valuables in that vault in your house, very limited with banks and not tell anyone. Any deal requiring cash you make a separate appointment and bring payment later so you can control the security. Putting all that estate money in the bank box made him nervous and when I bought your ranch we transferred all my money to his vault. Transferred only about 1/3rd into the small one Sara bought that one in the stump I made. Refinery deposits go in to the bank the Oil Company recommended was safer than most, you know Pete and Jake. We get a deposit receipt by mail and about every month on one of the trips I take Maggie to the market I pull out cash and only leave a couple hundred in the bank, no more than what I can stand to lose in a robbery. Cash comes home with me and I put it in my safe or Chuck's big vault and give the papers to Sara to track. Go ahead and talk with Sarabeth about doing your ranch books. She's sharp with making the numbers set up straight, got a great business head on her and took some business studies in college. Said she minored in business, whatever that means. Great handwriting, too. Probably find money where you don't know is there like she did the oil, finds where stuff falls through gets lost or is wasted. She's very smart like 'at. I pay her a salary, though, and bonuses when she comes up with stuff on her own. She's on my accounts and can get into my safe. Sure has earned it the way she jumped right setting up the oil records as a business in place not even asking if I wanted it. Initiative….was the word she used. Never reckoned the oil needed trackin' like she's doing, but she finds stuff and makes the refinery sit up. That receipt thing before braids may seem fun and games, but she's found errors. Caught one was $1000 once, somebody's handwriting wasn't readable, but she'd done the math and caught it and it shorted us."

"Wow, that's huge, Jess. What did you do?"

"Walked her through getting back with the guy who made the error so's she learn that process and he found she was right. He paid it right there and after we left I gave it to her as a bonus. Give her a talk. Like as not she's got some extra time and is bored. Seems to take after Maggie."

"How's that?"

"Always doing something. Fixing this, sewing, knitting, cooking, cleaning. Maggie's always up at dawn, last one to turn the lights out at night. You've seen her house. It's spotless and she's got a laundry system she won't let men near. You're on your own, though, making a deal with Sara, just wanted you to know so you can make it fair for her."

"Thanks, I'll do that. Pa's ranch paperwork always gave me a headache. Can't imagine what this horse business is gunna do to my poor brain. What's a nice salary offer?"

"'At's what I mean, you're on your own. Running oil paper is different than ranch paper. But she's even more familiar with ranch grow'd up in it and all. Might just show her your books then ask her what she'd need, see if you can afford her. Come to think….I need to increase her salary with the new well coming in, adds to her load tracking more wells. I didn't think the wells was that much bother, but she's got it balanced every month to what they take out, the current prices and has to match what they deposit. Makes them tow the line AND gives me a written report every month."

"You getting a strong profit off the oil?" Slim was becoming more curious.

"Pete and Jake say the refinery reports the wells are not gushers, but they are a strong and steady flow. They especially like the purity 'cause it requires less refining and a better profit to all of us. Don't know what you were making on the stage line, but one well is well ahead of what you were paying me and Pete just told me prices are going up. Got 3 wells now, Pete said should be pulling about equal. They said the wells must be along a fault line. Said that's like a crack in the ground running an underground channel probably off the northwest corner of Wyoming where all that underground activity is. Center part of Wyoming is getting a benefit from it and the homestead is just in the right location. I got Sara putting a good part back into another corner saving up for paying off the "high 20" and the ranch land between here and the homestead, 'nother part goes to what Chuck calls "a emergency fund," some goes to Tim's hospital he's building and Chuck matches that one as does his Cattleman's Association. Oil's also paying Tim's attorney fees on his new hospital 'till he's making a profit and can do his own. King's doing that but he ain't charging much at all – thinks he owes me for saving his life with some counsel I gave him when we brought Josie back legal."

"I'm impressed, Jess. Sounds like you got money in different pastures working for you." Slim was remembering Chuck's 'father talk'. "Is Chuck paying you, too?"

"He matches what you give me working stock and drives and such. Work off my keep doing muscle stuff for Maggie since her boys are growed up and out, but that's more like when I was helping my ma back in the day, so it ain't work at all. I tell ya, that Chuck's got a head for business and I'm doing everything I can to pick from it. His stuff is so squared away it's righteous. Anything else?"

Slim was stunned realizing Jess had so much business and finances going on, much more than just working cattle and horses – or changing stage teams. He was also more desperately missing having Jess under his roof where he knew what was going on in Jess' world much better.

"Yes, Jess. I need to apologize to you and at least get you to hear me though on this next part 'cause it's more personal."

"What did you do that needs an apology?"

"Well, I lit into you last weekend and been an ole bear for couple months, bothered by all the good you've been bringing in and me not able to keep up with you bringing on all this positive that's been happening..me not giving you back anything. 'at's what started me up last weekend when we a…got into it."

"I knew something was eating you."

"Most of my life I've had a handle on things, like cowboying, the stage business, but being new to this married husband thing and now a father, I…it's just so new I'm having to work my way through it. Never been a husband or father before, you know figuring out knowing when you're stepping on somebody's toes, getting too personal, over running territorial fences and getting into someone else's pasture."

"Ya, but you had a good pa to go by."

"I did and I learned a lot from him, but by the time I paid attention he was experienced at being both and I was too young to remember how he got started when it was new to him."

"Makes sense. Still got more than me."

"I realize that." Slim nodded mostly to himself because Jess was admitting out loud confirming what Chuck had told Slim about Jess not having a good adult role model.

"Don't know how I can help something I've got even less than you." Jess looked down at Annie realizing she has even less than he did and wondering how she's going to learn life.

"Not really looking your direction for that, just need some patience from you while I find my bearing. May make some mistakes getting there."

Jess got quiet and stared off into the scenery out the side of the buggy and then at Annie laying into his lap and he adjusted a piece of her clothing. His response took so long Slim twisted around taking another look back at Jess.

"Jess?"

"Hadn't thought along that way, Slim. You got every right to make mistakes. I sure made my share of them and you've always cut me a break. Dadgum...put up with years of mine and made me a better man in the process."

"So you'll forgive me for going off on you last weekend?" Slim queried.

"It's my fault, Slim. Like you said, pushing in past you giving blood, your wife, your babies, me not even asking. You were right, I should've been more considerate. It's you needs to forgive me."

"Well, I think we both have new roles to learn. You're a new uncle, too, and twin brother. You've got every right to come across my fence, help me out when my hands are tied without me getting all bent up."

"We've always filled in gaps for each other before, Slim. Part of what makes us work so well. Being needed is a big part of that sense of belonging you taught me about first year I was here. Got me off the road to destruction I was blindly running down in my fury to survive life."

"Doc says I cracked your ribs where they'd been broke before. And that shiner. I hurt you, Jess. I'm sorry."

"Been tossed around before. We just bumped into each other, Slim. I guess we need to be more careful 'cause we're in closer quarters as being related." Jess admitted. "But like it or not you're stuck with me now…all legal like."

"Being stuck with you now legal couldn't make me any happier, Jess. I found out you'd taken off after our fight and it tore me apart inside while trying to find you. I still want you living under my roof and so does everyone else in the house. Almost everyday somebody mentions missing having you underfoot. You're family, Jess, that's all there is to it."

"Thanks, Slim."

"So you forgive me?" Slim wanted to confirm before getting de-railed onto another topic.

"We can take one off the pile I owe you for all you did for me."

"Jess, you don't owe me a pile. I don't know where you get that. But you've changed our entire lives here, come up with several ways turning around the ranch's finances, dadgum, I've got the best wife, now mother and two perfect kids…because of you. You don't owe me anything."

"Ya well since you and Andy hauled me off the big open, you changed my life, too. Gave me a family, a place to belong, got a solid roof over my head, same one every night, too. Because you sent me on that cattle drive I got reconnected with the Wentworths, so I've got the best people I've ever known around me and a line on my future. Man can't do better than that."

"Well, you got a couple more things to get, so you're not done yet." Slim advised hoping for an entry into the fatherhood topic.

"Like what?"

"Well like your own wife and kids. You know, like me. It's great, Jess. No regrets either…won't catch me looking back."

Jess looked down at Annie sleeping and back into the scenery again his left hand resting quietly on her top side arm. "That may not be so far off, Slim."

Annie started whimpering and moving in a dream like she was being smothered by something larger that was on top her. Jess could tell she was in to a nightmare and from her actions most likely being assaulted and trying to fight off an attacker.

"Slow down, Slim. She's having a nightmare…may need to sto…" he never got finished but Slim pulled the horse to a stop anyway.

Annie started to scream and wake up violently when Jess began to hold her steady yet gently waking her up trying to keep her from spilling off the buggy.

"GET OFF ME! YOU'RE HURTING…"

"Wake up, Annie…..easy girl…you're dreaming, Baby Cakes." He cooed.

"…..ME!"

Jess had shifted in the seat pulling his leg down in protection and turning to lift her to a sitting position. At first she resisted and started beating her fists at Jess' torso, but he had one arm tightly tied down inside his shirt and jacket and was barely able to hold her on the buggy. Slim put the brake on and tied the reins down and leaned back over the front buggy seat to help steady her and calling her name, too.

"Easy Annie. You're with Slim and Jess. It's ok….just a bad dream." Then to Jess, "She have a lot of these?"

"Every night. Sometimes a wild buggy, sometimes this."

Annie woke up fully with wide eyes fighting tears and finally focused recognizing Jess, then looking at and recognizing Slim. She quit struggling and folded into Jess' body and he encircled her with his left arm holding her forehead with the side of his face and cooing to her in his deep voice. She curled up in his lap and once again clung to his chest like a baby monkey. That was fine with Jess because she could hold onto him better and tighter than he could her with just one arm. He did have to pull one of her arms looser because she was choking him, but otherwise she nested tightly.

"Whoa…down…easy Baby Cakes. I've got you. Shhhh….shhh. You're safe, it was just a bad dream."

She sniffled and then let go in an all out sobbing cry fully caving into Jess and he hugged her tight letting her get it out. Slim could hear Jess moaning very quietly from deep inside him as he began gently rocking Annie. It was a mix between a painful moan and a soothing hum and his blue eyes were very, very moist. Jess' body was curled so tightly around Annie like a blanket including his knees drawn up supporting her bum braced by his foot on the back of the front seat. Slim couldn't get close so all he could do was put his hand on the side of Annie's head and stroke it soothingly and down her arm trying to compensate for Jess' right arm being tied down.

"I can't reach my ….left back pocket, Slim."

"I got one." Slim reached for his and tucked it into her hands at her face and she buried her face in his bandana and continued sobbing.

Between grit teeth Jess murmured, "If I EVER meet him, I'll…"

Slim cut him off, "….have to pull me off him first."

Jess looked Slim straight in the eye in full gunfight mode, "Don't ever get between him and me, Slim. I will NOT stop for you or anyone else and it won't be fast or pretty." Then he muttered, "May not even be legal."

Slim met his eye contact and with a set jaw responded, "I won't stop for you either, Jess. Don't know which is worse, a father who'd do this, or sell his infant off at birth."

"This." Jess looked back down at Annie and kissed the top of her head again. "Any man'd do this to his own flesh….more twisted than my pa. Dadgum….worse sick than putrid. I thought my pa was bad 'till I got into the war and saw some things soldiers did with each other and with captives… women left behind taking care of their homes alone, most of them had babes and little kids like her. Was disgusting. This beats all of that….she's just a child, too!" Jess was fuming and barely staying seated had Annie not been tightly clinging to his chest.

Slim had seen Jess angry many times but this time Jess' face was reddened and this was the first time ever seeing Jess' eyes look black instead of the usual blue. THAT part was scary and the hair on the back of Slim's neck literally stood up and a shiver went down his spine. He'd seen Jess past angry and into madder than a stirred hornet in fights, but the depth of the black color and the deadened set deep inside his eyes was pure ….something nasty and bad. Knowing Jess for these few years Slim was convinced Jess could and would dole out some indescribable "justice" and that it would be uglier than sin. He just knew too, he never wanted to witness that because it would be unforgettable. …..and it would destroy whatever was left inside Jess, kill his soul and send him over the cliff of ….righteousness into a walking death. And that would be why Slim would disobey Jess yet once more and pull him back from the brink of self destruction in his pursuit of what was right.

Annie got her cry released and began to calm down and blew her nose in the bandana and was settled back into Jess for eternity not to let go. Jess felt her body sag from its retching sobs and nodded to Slim. "It's ok, we can go on."

The redness from anger began draining from Slim's own face as he gently stroked the other side of her head again then turned and restarted the buggy. He was shaking his head and Jess thought he saw Slim wipe his face off on the opposite shoulder as he turned to re-collect the reins.

They reached the ranch about an hour later as the sun was nearing the mountain tops heading to setting. Annie was still clinging to Jess with her head under his chin and her ear to his chest watching the scenery go by in silence sniffing here and there hugging Hooter under her own chin. Jess didn't know who was more tired, her or him and everything in his body was screaming from being bounced in the buggy and from Annie's weight on his chest pulling on his back and shoulder. He'd had to half recline in the back seat compensating for it but there was no force known to man that could have removed her from his hold. As Slim pulled the buggy to the Wentworth's front walk Jess kissed Annie's head again for the umpteenth time, then leaned forward bringing her weight back into his left arm where he could see her face. She looked back at him with wide open innocent eyes full of trust and he softly wiped the dry tear trail headed south on her cheeks.

"We're here Baby Cakes, but you'll have to walk, I can't carry you." He cooed.

"k" she answered softly.

Jess kissed her forehead then looked her in the face.

"This is my home, Annie and everybody you're going to meet here are nice people and you'll be safe here. They are going to help me get your life together as best we can." Annie nodded and handed Slim's wet bandana to him.

Slim disembarked handing the reins to the wrangler who always seemed to be at the front door but advised him that he'd take the horses and rig to his barn. He planned on having one of his men return the buggy tomorrow and get Jess' deposit back. He grabbed Annie's bag and set it on the walk then reached for Annie. Jess nudged her on his knee and she reached confidently letting Slim lift her to the ground and then Slim helped Jess get off with his stiffness, bandaging and fatigue both men stepping right back into the lift procedure they'd used after the buckboard accident. As Annie took a hold of the top of the cane under Jess' left hand and clung to Hooter with her right hand Slim fell in behind carrying the bag while jamming his soggy bandana in a back pocket. With Josie's soft tender nature and the twins Slim was getting used to wet bandanas in his pockets. Walking behind them he noticed that Jess had blood on the back of his jacket and on the right shoulder. The bouncing had apparently jogged the new stitches loose. Chuck, Maggie and Sara were in a three way tie coming through their front door to greet them but Chuck graciously backed away and took the door for his ladies. Mike shot out the door between them running hard for Slim's house and Slim smiled knowing Mike was on "duty" as lookout. The Wentworths were compassionately warm but not overly pushy not wanting to scare the child and Annie stood tight into Jess but obediently followed his talk. Jess' voice was strained by pain trembling slightly as he did the introductions.

"Annie, this Mr. and Mrs. Wentworth and their daughter, Sara. Folks this is Annie, we don't have a last name….yet. Annie these people are just like Mr. Slim and the doctors. They are my best friends and you can trust them. This is very important, Annie. This is a very big ranch so you need to follow what they tell you so you don't get lost or hurt, ok?"

She nodded softly, "K" while looking directly in Jess' face. He nodded and smiled reassuringly. Then she turned to them and announced, "This is Hooter. He's my horse." She held her toy horse up for them to see.

Chuck leaned over behind Maggie who actually dropped to one knee in front of Annie and Sara did so beside her mother.

"Welcome to our home, Annie, Hooter. It is so nice you could join us." Maggie greeted her cordially and warmly without being invasive. "He sure is a beautiful horse you have." She softly cupped her hand under the toy's muzzle as though offering a sugar cube or carrot to the toy.

"What happened to Hooter's leg?" Sara asked Annie.

"He was shot when Jess saved us from the bad men. But he's all fixed up. The Doc operated on him and he's got two whole stickers…I mean sti..ckies." She struggled but got the word out. "Doc said we can take his stickers out in 2 more days and he'll be all well again." She held up three fingers and they all smiled.

Slim reached into his inside coat pocket and pulled out a letter size envelope and handed it to Maggie. "This is from the Doc. It's medical instructions so you can take over for him. He really wasn't ready to turn loose of Jess so soon but Jess promised to go to bed for a week in order to get released from the hospital."

Jess shot Slim a look of disdain for giving him up but Slim just kept talking to Maggie and he took a second envelope and tucked it into Jess' coat pocket. Jess startled slightly having things stuffed into his pockets but his hand was full and the other tied down under his shirt. In a delayed moment he recognized the envelope was from the bank withdrawal and nodded. Slim caught the nod and knew he didn't need to explain.

Maggie stood back up with a smile and somewhat amazed but amused face and accepted the envelope. "I'll study this later. Have supper all ready to sit down and have plenty to go around. Are you staying, Slim, or getting right back home? Josie's been over here looking for you 3 times today and sent Mike twice."

"I figured. 'Preciate the offer but really need to get back to Josie. I'm sure she's having kittens needing to know what's up. We need to get him to bed…." Slim gestured to Jess' back and shoulder. "I think some of his 'stickers' have wiggled loose, he's bleeding."

Slim handed Annie's bag to Chuck and pulled his hat down beginning to turn to leave. As Slim turned Chuck caught his sight with a head side move and raised his eyebrows asking Slim how things were between them. Chuck was reading things were peaceful between the two men because the respect in their body language between each other was open and soft as before but he wanted to affirm to Slim he cared. Slim quickly read Chuck's unspoken question and smiled nodding his head and gave Chuck a quick 'thumbs up' gesture. Chuck nodded in acknowledgement and they both turned to depart.

"Give everyone a hug and kiss for me, Slim. Thanks!" Jess' voice was fading but he turned stiffly half way to see Slim leave. Immediately Maggie and Sara stepped around to check Jess' back.

"I'll be over early in the morning….or should I say Josie will be dragging me out of bed at first light. You need anything for anyone at any time day or night, come get me."

"We will, Slim. Thanks." Maggie assured him offering a hand to Annie who refused to leave her hold helping Jess with his cane. As they started for the house Maggie studied Jess' face but it didn't take her long to see the exhaustion and pinched face. Jess had been shot even multiple times before but he'd never required surgery to remove shards of shrapnel on two limbs before. So the surgery poking and digging in already tenderized soft tissue was affecting him more than mere bullet holes.

All of them could read the fatigue in Jess' posture and the ashen face so to get him to bed as quickly as possible they stopped at the dinner table where Sara fixed Jess a plate full of supper and one for Annie. That way he could pick at it as Maggie unwrapped his upper torso, checked, cleaned and rewrapped his bandaging and they switched him into a night shirt that Sara retrieved from his room. His knee was holding up fine. The blood was just oozing from the back and shoulder wound areas from movement as Dr. Tim feared, was messy and needed cleaning but was nothing serious and she was frowning at the bruising from the plowed up soft tissue. Annie was glued to Jess' leg and wouldn't sit at her place however nearby they could offer and just stood between his knees looking at the food on his plate. The table was just under chin high on her and the food on the plate came up to her nose, but she stood glued between his knees and the table. So as Maggie worked on his right shoulder with his left hand he cut a small piece of meat and pushed it to the side of his plate leaving the fork in it and laid the fork down. He gestured to Sara who handed him Annie's fork setting and he kept eating with Annie's fork. It was just a few seconds after he took that bite Annie reached for his seated fork and eagerly ate the portion he'd cut. He smiled and cut another bite and scooted it over to the same location and she quickly speared it and ate that one, too. It was obvious she was hungry but just overwhelmed and was cuddled backed into his chest as security. So Sara slowly nudged Annie's plateful of food closer and Jess ate off of both of them. After his third bite, Annie was eagerly helping herself to what looked good off of and eating from everything on his original plate and between them they polished off both plates. Anything that would get food into her stomach was his priority, didn't matter which plate it came from. Maggie was watching him as she redid his bandaging and lightly shaking her head seeing without coaching Jess nurturing a child feeding her from his own portions. It further reminded her of his mother implanting herself into her son. When Annie had eaten a fair amount and put her fork down she retrieved Hooter from Jess' knee and then backed into his leg to hug the toy horse. Maggie had just finished with Jess' wound sites and had sat in the chair they'd pulled up for Annie that she didn't use.

"I don't know, Ms. Maggie, that was so good, not sure we have room for deessert….you know that sweet stuff." Jess teased not looking at Annie and rubbing his chin with his left hand. Annie quickly looked up into his face and nodded vigorously.

"I baked an apple pie, Jess." Maggie offered playing along. "Since you were a good boy and ate your dinner, you can have some."

"Welllll, maybe just one piece." Jess smiled and gestured a wide slice with his fingers and Sara smiled and retrieved it setting a slice that was a fourth of the pie down in front of Jess. Jess smiled at the ladies and Chuck who were all busy watching the show, then cut the front corner off the triangle and then hesitated loading his fork. Sure enough, Annie quickly dived in and loaded her fork but she had to use her other hand's finger to push it with and it looked like Hooter was going in for a bite. Jess used his fork as a stop and Annie got the bite scooched onto her fork. She quickly shoveled it from the plate right into her open mouth and as she chewed her eyes got really big in delight humming an "mmm" under her breath.

Jess chuckled. "Seems like we have another horse here who likes his apples." He slipped Hooter from Annie's hand and put him back across his bandaged knee so Annie could work her fork better and she piled into the pie and ate just over half of it before Jess got his first bite. She had food on her cheeks and looked like she'd never had a full meal set in front of her before but was ravenously enjoying it. Jess took his napkin and handed it to Annie and she wiped, well, scrubbed at her face getting most of the residue off. He'd had to teach her the napkin when they were eating in the hospital room and she was getting better at it.

"Ok, Annie, now what?" he coached gently whispering out loud near her ear.

She looked at him wide eyed thinking for a minute, then the light bulb went on and she looked at Maggie.

"Oh! Thank you, Ms..(mumble)…it was a pretty meal. May I be excused?" her voice was so tiny but she nailed it. Jess' mouth was lip synced with hers as he watched her face, then when she turned to look at him he smiled really big and nodded his head and kissed the side of hers. It was supposed to be a "lovely meal" but her vocabulary was stuck on the "pretty" word for the now.

"You're very welcome, Annie. Yes, you may. Want to help me get Jess to bed? He's very tired like Hooter is and we need to take care of our patients."

"Yes, Ma'am." She quickly retrieved Hooter off Jess' knee with both hands and backed out from between his legs unsure which direction they were moving next.

Within 45 minutes of arrival they were off down the hall putting Annie in her new bedroom which seemed to stun her. She asked to sleep in Jess' room and Jess told her no, he'd be just down and across the hall just a few feet away. He wanted her to try to sleep in her own room first but if she needed him, to come later. They showed her where Jess' room was and the bathrooms and after going through the bathrooms and getting Annie's PJs into the bathroom with her Jess went to his room and prepared to crawl into bed around Sasha's jubilant greeting. He finally got her to hold still long enough to give her a good hug while he groaned enjoying the feel of her body, but she was still wiggling, her tail was going 90 mph and she whined softly. She got a kiss, too, but it was hard to tell who was happier at their reunion, him or her. Sara helped him get the boots off and while Annie was in the bathroom he pulled several wrinkled folded receipts from his pant pocket and the envelope Slim gave him. One with dried blood on it was for the new oil pump, the second was the balance of the cash and the withdrawal receipt, and there were three other receipts that puzzled him ended up being from Slim's hotel and food expenses. The envelope had Slim's writing on it noting how much Dr. Abby had taken for Annie's expenses and the total from his expenses were circled with an "I owe U" and his initials. Jess hadn't even looked at the envelope, just handed it over to Sara having completely trusted Slim with the money.

"I remembered you collect these? Slim forgot to bring money so I told him I'd pay his expenses." He smiled softly in his fatigue, the room beginning to spin and pointed to Slim's handwriting as she held the envelope reading the writing. "I guess he figures on paying me back from an advance."

"I do, thank you! I also remember this." She plucked the receipted items, envelop and remaining cash tucking them into her pocket oblivious to the dried stains and reached around his waist and they kissed as per their last summer routine rewarding him with smooches when he'd remember to give her business paperwork. But the initial kiss once connected quickly turned into one of those long ones of enjoyment being in each other's arms yet Sara could feel his body trembling again in pain and fatigue. She pulled up first and he followed her not ready to stop the kiss, so she re-established the smooch. He seemed to be feeding from it wanting to eat or drink her up and she certainly didn't mind one bit. She'd have emptied herself to nourish him. When he finally pulled back it was with a softly cooed, "yum" and promptly planted his nose behind her ear in her hair gathering her into a one-arm hug. After a few moments he pulled back putting his free hand on her elbow looked like he was trying to pull thoughts from a deeply mired bog.

"Before I forget and so you know, Slim's changed his mind about stayin' out of the oil business. Spooked him realizing something happen to me then he'd be blind being outta the loop. I'm happy he's come around 'cause we've always worked as a team, so we're gunna get together and go over stuff when the rooms quit spinning on me. But if he has questions, it's ok whatever he wants to know. He still wants to leave deecisions to me, just wants to back me up. Also, Slim was up to his ears running the paperwork at the homestead and stage business and now was moaning about the new horse ranch. He's in over his head and I suggested you since you've done such a great job helping me but told him I put you on salary so he needs to consider that. Told him to talk to you, see what you'd want."

"I don't need to be paid, Jess, not even by you. Happy to help and be useful."

"Don't sell yourself short, Sara. Not morally right asking folks to work free. Your work and your initiative has proven very valuable, you got a great head on those beautiful shoulders. Being married to either of us would be different because as one unit under vows to each other everyone works and everyone pulls from the bank, it has future security. You don't have a covering like that yet so it's even more important you see yourself as worth an income and others see you that way, too."

"When I marry I don't get a salary?"

""At's between spouses to work out, but I mean on the legal side, when you marry you become an owner with your spouse, 'at's different. You inherit what he's got if somethin' happens."

"I see." She was listening intently and learning business ropes in the real world but worried the longer he stood and his trembling became more obvious. "How much should I…?"

"I suggest you have him show you his books first and see what's involved before quoting him your price. Also factor in how much control he plans on giving you as to like your name on his accounts like you're on mine, such like that…makes more responsibility on you, should increase your quote. You can always ask to get back with him and come talk it out with me. Just don't tell him you're running to me….make it look like your own quote. You help your Pa with the books here?"

"Yes, well, I mean he does the books but has me and Jr on the accounts and taught us how he runs the books so we could handle things should something happen to him or mother, and how to operate what he's set up for her being taken care of if he goes first. That was a session I'll never forget, all three of us bawling our eyes out. And he's discussed their Wills as to executor and inheritance. We get a refresh every 6 months based on the state of the businesses."

Jess did a half side nod in admiration, "I figured he'd have his sh…affairs in order. Admire that man so much. You are so lucky having parents like them." She reached up and stroked his forelock back lovingly but it stubbornly returned to its duty and then he gave her a peck on those sweet, peachy lips.

"Well he loves you like a son, Mother, too, 'xcept they don't want to embarrass you making a fuss, make you uncomfortable. You thrilled them so much taking up their invitation to live here. They both been pacing the floor like crazy since you pulled out last weekend. Mother went off her feed and Poppa's never forgiven himself for not grabbing onto you back in Texas. Not supposed to tell you, but I think that's why he went over and talked with Slim right after you left. Said Slim was so tore up about what he'd done and just helped Slim sort through his thoughts and Slim did the rest, left immediately to come find you. He likes Slim, too. Thank you for the heads up, I like Slim, too, he's one terrific friend and I'da done it for free." Jess wobbled shifting his weight to his left leg which wouldn't take it so he went back to the right leg. "You're always looking out for me, Jess, even out on your feet and dizzy. But you need to get in bed, Jess, we can discuss business later. Need help "unbuckling"?" She offered softly with her eyes softly twinkling in the fire light.

"Desperately, but can't with Annie here. I'll have to explain later. Plus Sasha's not used to kids so we need to keep them monitored. I don't know how they will accept each other and expect Annie will be arriving in my bed the middle of the night. She's been having nightmares anything longer than 2 hours of sleep and that bedroom is huge and strange to her. Don't go very far, though. I'm still fighting dizziness. Tim said when I'm like this I'm back to making blood and need fluids and bed."

"Yes, I can feel you like after the barn fire. You know I'll be near. Just glad you're home and you're safe." She was looking him straight in the eyes with sincere love, her eyes glistening with extra moisture.

"Me, too." He softly kissed her forehead then slightly nodding toward her bedroom, his voice barely above a whisper. "Get your brush so I can braid." He wanted more lip time, needed it and she was such a perfect fit to his inner needs…and somehow, connecting with her seemed to bring energy to him inside where he lived. Apart from the happiness of Slim's wedding and Josie's pregnancy and the twin's birth, plus moving to a whole new home scene, then Slim's upset now Annie, the year had actually drained him emotionally and in his spirit. So he knew the emptiness made him too vulnerable and it would be too dadgum hard to stop his nerves sequences at the deeper kiss or her body contact "unbuckling" while at the same time physically being ready to fall over onto the bed and pass out. It was taking all his focus and concentration just to stay on his feet.

"Not tonight. I'll do it. You need to get right to bed and one handed braiding doesn't work."

"Yes, Ma'am." Jess was all out of fuss and feathers.

They kissed briefly again when the door to the bathroom opened and Annie came out in her new footed pajamas. His trembling legs giving way Jess slowly dropped to sit on the edge of the bed his body sinking fast in exhaustion and processing the new load of food fuel. He was one step away from the exhaustion after the fire when he got trapped at the foot of the bed unable to move his self. Promised himself to never get that far again yet here he was facing it one more time. Sasha wrapped her body around his lower back and peered over his elbow.

"Sara will take you to your bedroom, Annie. You need anything like the potty or clothes she's straight across the hall from me or she'll be in here with me." Sara pointed for Jess and Annie looked.

Sara held out her hand offering to take Annie's hand to accompany her to her bedroom and Annie ran back to Jess and hugged his neck. He kissed her head and she kissed his cheek while Sasha poked her head around from behind him out of reach. She watched intently with a soft, low wag of her tail.

"Good night, Baby Cakes… Night, Hooter!" He scratched Hooter's poll.

"Nite, Jess. I love you." Annie's voice was very tiny and she poked Hooter's nose up to Jess' cheek in a toy's kiss and he dropped his cheek making it available. Then she obeyed and reached for Sara's offered hand and followed her back to her room and crawled into bed. Jess smiled at the horse's kiss and rubbed his cheek softly but then felt the scruff and frowned and looked toward the door wondering if he'd scratched up Sara' perfect complexion.

By the time Sara returned to Jess' room his covers were pulled up, his happy and re-contented nurse, Sasha, was curled and covered at his stomach and he was zonked out and groaning softly under his breath with each exhale. Sara tugged the fainting couch in Jess' den closer to the joining doorway and after she ate a quick supper she returned and slept there with a pillow and blanket.

Jess was correct just the same as in the hospital, deep in the middle of the night in the low lamplight that Sara always left up at the hall doorway of Jess' bedroom Annie and Hooter arrived in his bedroom. She very quietly crawled in from the other side and snuggled up under his blankets next to his back. Jess was sleeping hard but his body was hurting and the movement on the bed stirred him and Sasha. Since Annie wasn't crying or emotional and seemed happy just snuggling in, he waited for her to drop back to sleep which she did. At least she'd tried her bedroom and made it partially through the night. That was enough for Jess considering all she'd been through for a 6 year old.

Sasha had raised her head but read the need and since her human was calm about the visitor then she was ok, too and laid her head back down. Her world had returned to order as long as Jess was at her back so she basically stood or laid on the other side of Jess and watched the little human. Annie seemed unfamiliar with live pets not really understanding what a dog was so she held back waiting for Jess to give her some guidance. Hooter was her priority and she was never without him. Jess had a sense that Sasha and Annie might not be compatible at least at first basically because Annie was a wounded spirit. While Sasha had been orphaned, she'd never been abused or beaten but would sense that in a human like she'd sensed Jess. He wanted to deal with Annie without the complications of her becoming emotionally attached to every animal on the property and decided to keep Annie's attention on Hooter at least until her future was determined. And Jess was correct, Sasha seemed to sense something off kilter with Annie and was also a large factor why she held back using Jess' body as a block. She'd stand behind Jess curling around his legs very fascinated and with his body between them she watched closely with ears forward and tail curled up in friendly interest but maintained a minimal distance and backed away if approached. At first when Annie would move to another spot Sasha would wait until she had turned away then snuck over and smelled the area where Annie had been. Jess confirmed his decision about Sasha because Sasha never offered to bark or drop her tail and ears in warning, she just moved to the other side of Jess. Animals sense things humans often never pay attention to.

During supper when he got back to his house Slim had filled in the story of what had happened, what they did and didn't know about Annie and her parents, Jess' injuries and what the plan was and all had agreed the decision was on target and relieved Jess was back. Josie and Daisy were more than a little concerned with Jess latching onto an orphaned girl, the odd circumstances and Jess becoming too attached emotionally. "Children don't just drop from the sky," as Daisy put it expecting a mother somewhere out there in the world. Their concern was especially true based on how Jess so quickly attached to the twins and always reached for Jessie first. But they were satisfied Slim had put forth a valiant effort of detective work and the decision reached was much better than leaving her in some foster care. Mike, however, seemed very interested in having a little sister to play with wanting her to come live in their extra bedroom, so he was rooting for her to become a ward like he had been. They decided Josie would visit first and they'd do a slow parade and not just inundate Annie with a ton of new people all at once. Slim slept in and decided to spend the day with his twins and check in during the evening. Tomorrow was Saturday and on Sunday the big lunch was due over at Slim and Josie's house so Daisy was busy cooking and had Mike helping her with the twin's laundry, collecting trash and taking it outside and picking up the house for company….his chores.

Josie arrived at dawn carrying Jess' duffle bag, holster with gun and his rifle Slim had carried in off of Traveler. She greeted the Wentworths then since Jess was still sleeping soundly to not wake him they snuck into Jess' room for a stealth look see. Josie couldn't wait any longer and true to form barely getting her load off onto the nearest chair she went straight for the bed, her eyes welled up with tears and she reached and almost touched Jess' swollen and very colorful black eye awarded by her husband much to her chagrin. With a low groan Jess coiled in his sleep against a jab of pain somewhere in his lower core and she recoiled grabbing her ribs and pulling her left leg up slightly. She folded up standing and almost fell onto the bed on top of Jess but Maggie instantly grabbed the new mother concerned over her healing sites steadying her off the bed. Groaning lightly they backed into the hallway where Josie leaned against the hall wall until she could stand up straight again and her eyes basically uncrossed. When Maggie stepped up to her to check her out Josie waved her away and mumbled that Jess' leg and back had to be killing him in pain, she'd not had any mending pain that was shooting ones and what she felt had zipped up her leg. She pointed to a spot on Maggie's back that was identical to where the back wound was on Jess asking if that was where he'd been hit. Maggie affirmed and Josie said that area had been hurting for most of the week. Then Josie asked Chuck if injuries like that added to a knee wound would affect the nerves in a man's groin. Chuck's face became slightly amused at her blatant honesty and forthrightness and nodded yes, a strong enough pain and from multiple sources could ricochet around that area. He reminded her that based on what Maggie had informed him years ago dealing with wrangler injuries, there are a ton of nerves that go through that intersection on the way to the spine to complain to the brain, so that area of anybody's body would be sensitive. Josie nodded with a mumbled 'wow! Ok' satisfied in her mind as to the source of what she was feeling was empathy since it was not her exit sites this time. Then they headed back to the dining room for coffee and pastries Maggie had made. Sara confiscated Sasha who began wiggling in protest and quietly took care of Jess' "nurse's" morning chores and fed her but as soon as she was through eating about half of her food Sasha disappeared back to her self-appointed patient….(Jess' side). The adults sat at the table and chatted about Annie exchanging information and Josie shared what she'd found out from Slim helping the Wentworths with background information.

Back in the bedroom Jess eased back into consciousness about 9:30 a.m. finding Annie hadn't really moved from when she'd arrived except Hooter wasn't as tightly bound up under her chin. Annie was sleeping peacefully and her breathing was normal so with Sasha ever circling at his feet, Jess eased out of bed to the bathroom and put his outer clothes on in the other room with the exception of his boots. The left leg was too wrapped up and with one arm wrapped to his chest it was impossible to pull them on by his self, so he was back to his standard log house attire flippering in his socks. Maggie's housekeeping was hospital clean and the floor was somehow a constant temperature of warm so it never mattered moving around with just socks. His shirt was on but untucked and unbuttoned over bandages that still covered most of his upper torso and down his right arm underneath the under shirt. Dr. Tim had wrapped Jess' right arm folded over his stomach wisely eliminating the patient's discard of a sling and it was such a masterful job Maggie had repeated it when she'd fixed the bleeding on his arrival. Needless to say, Jess was back to operating with one wing and buttons were hard to do, but he took the wrapped wing over staying in the hospital any longer. He went back to the bed, leaned over Annie and studied her for several minutes with a loving frown in sadness of such a young life having known nothing but turmoil and hunger. Then he kissed her cheek stroking her forehead and she gradually woke up looking very confused and lost until she focused on Jess' face about 18" above her head.

"Mornin' Baby Cakes. Sleep good?" he softly cooed with his blue eyes twinkling in the morning sun.

"I like your bed better, Jess. That other one is so big." Her eyes were very blue and her eyelashes were as long as his and flopped as she opened her eyes, stretched and then yawned. She looked out the bay window and rubbing her eyes mumbled, "Where are we?"

"We're at my home. You hungry 'cause I'm starved?" He kissed her forehead again and then pulled the blankets back. At first she startled and grabbed the bedding in fear, then realized it was Jess and let them go. Jess instantly frowned and quickly turned loose to let her move at her own freedom and then like a gentleman took a few steps away a discreet distance and looking away offered back his left hand as an assist if she wanted to grab it. He wanted her to feel secure controlling her own bedding and have privacy removing herself from the bed. It didn't matter she was covered poll to hoof in footed pajamas, he wanted her to begin to experience a proper male treatment of a lady even though her mind might not understand that just yet. But it told him more revealing the type of life she'd experienced and as he was looking away, he frowned again.

"Did you bring a robe?" He quickly asked in a cheery voice to cover up his discovery but peeking back checking on her progress.

"What's that?" She was easily folding back the layers of bedding and turning to re-grab Hooter. Her hair was all askew.

"We'll find it later. Bathroom's open. Why don't I go get Sara to meet you with your day clothes when you get done in the bathroom? Then we'll have some breakfast. Sound good?"

"K." She had Hooter around his middle and was hurrying to get to the bathroom.

He left her in the bathroom with the door secured and gimped with his cane to the dining room where he could hear chatter. Mostly disheveled and with the chorus of aches and pains and bracing against odd spasms of pain assaulting him as he moved gingerly down the hall, he arrived at the dining room table almost before anyone saw or heard him. His butterfly nurse shadowed him looking up at his face every step of the way and settled under the chair he eventually reached. He was headed for the nearest chair which was the closest to the front door at the end of the table but Josie caught him before he could sit down. They had their usual warm twin-hug tightly tucked into each other and held for several minutes as Josie was seeking to feel Jess' body for intel on his condition. He knew that but in turn was holding her still so she wouldn't over-move and knock him over. She still had the propensity to be over zealous in handling his body which was unnerving to a bachelor. She was holding him tighter than she did in the hospital and he could feel her warm motherhood on his chest and he let her adjust the tightness of their hold according to her tenderness. As they hugged Jess spoke over her shoulder while looking at Sara.

"I told Annie you'd be right down to help her get dressed for the day. She's in the end bathroom. I think it best that only you ladies help her with her clothes and you know…chores. Personal stuff you ladies do or need. Was thinking maybe Maggie could work one of those special hot baths modified for her, you know, for bruises – get her into a routine every other night or so? She was filthy when I found her, wondered if she'd ever had a bath….need to start teaching that routine." With his hand he gestured up and down behind Josie's back indicating Josie's body as an example. "I think it would be wise for her to begin experiencing what a proper male attention should be with a girl so that um… leaves me out of her lady chores." It was Jess' manner of asking for help without actually coming out and …asking for help and was end punctuated by a classic Jess-smile.

Sara immediately nodded and left while Chuck nodded his agreement.

"Sounds wise and we certainly can help you there. How did she do last night?" Maggie asked while smiling at Jess' decision and announcement, and amused at his manner of asking for help by disqualifying his self based on being a male. That was a new twist she'd not heard from her own boys.

And she liked it.

"Pretty good. Her and Hooter arrived in the middle of the night as I thought she would. Did that in the hospital room. Had to wake her up this morning but she didn't move all night. No nightmares. I think she conked out like I do in that bed. Both got some good sleep." Jess offered.

Josie pulled back to her two to his one hand hand-hold and they exchanged long eye contact then Jess kissed her forehead. Josie dropped his hand and started tucking his trapped arm better into the shoulder of the shirt headed for buttoning his shirt and tucking in his shirt tail. But Jess knew where she was heading and grabbed the front of his shirt out of her hands before she had gotten even one button fixed. It was the "mothering" he knew would happen if he had moved into Slim's new house… and didn't want it when he was healthy and certainly not when he was bent up. He thought it was sweet of her to care, but there was enough bachelor left inside that he really wanted to stay away from that area of her love. A man's got to draw the line somewhere. Sara had helped by holding his clothes, maybe a minor tuck as he tried to do his self, but she never went as far as taking over the whole shebang and then tucking her entire hand down his bum getting his shirttail into his pants which Josie had done.

"I'm ok, Jose. We're taking this one step at a time. She'll need a lot of soft support. There was no luggage in the buggy she was in and her original clothes were too small, torn up and dirty, fell apart in the hospital when they cleaned her up. I asked Abby to take her shopping and get her hair done so what we brought here is new. THIS is all brand new and overwhelmingly big to her, so a little at a time. In the hospital she admitted her ma was out of money and she couldn't remember the last time she'd ate."

"I know. Slim filled us in." Josie said softly and tilted her head entreatingly, "I'm just afraid the longer this goes the more you're gunna become attached to her." Having her hands removed didn't bother her not even giving it a second thought and with her index finger she immediately poked him in the stomach a few times emphasizing her words.

Jess half chuckled softly grabbing and holding onto her prod, "I got attached the second I saw her clinging to the buggy about to bounce overboard hanging on for dear life and screaming." He grabbed her entire hand as if he was hanging onto her for dear life as an example and using stronger than normal pressure and making a face of a horrified child.

Josie's eyebrows went up mirroring his face then shook her head wincing slightly at his grip. "I knew it!" She pulled her hands in out of his grip and put them on her hips. "You just look for critters to latch on to!"

"Hey! I didn't know the bank was being robbed just down the street. Ya know, I don't enjoy getting banged up and dealing with pain and upset body parts. Although…. I must admit, the nursing care here is the best I've ever had….makes it tolerable." He pulled in his chin lifting it slightly and raising one eyebrow, then re-frowned and continued as his voice went up half an octave along with the palm of his left hand…. "What was I supposed to do, Jose, turn and look the other way? She's so tiny and frail…can feel every one of her ribs, Baby Girl!" Jess justified knowing they were all beginning to believe his destiny in life was to be constantly mangled and need nursing.

Maggie jumped in as the mother diplomat, "You wouldn't be you if you didn't rescue people, Jess, especially the ladies. You're exactly like your mama in that way. She even rescued little birds and baby squirrels." She batted her eyelids and smiled coyly.

"See 'er, Josie…can't go against what's in your blood. Ma did it to me!" He added the famous Jess-smile then quickly looked at Maggie raising his eyebrows, "Hey, any breakfast left over staying hot? We're both hungry."

Jess maintained looking at Maggie while gently touching Josie's shoulder to ease past her to reach the chair and changing the subject….er, bailed out of an argument he was about to lose and in no mood for a sermon from his sister. Per usual he hooked the cane over the back of the chair. He asked about breakfast because soon after his move in and getting up late he'd offered to cook his own breakfast so to not be a bother for Maggie being off schedule. She'd backed him across the whole kitchen into a chair with her index finger on his chest making it clear in no uncertain terms he never needed to do his own cooking, that any time of day it was HER pleasure and made her feel needed in his life…so there. He blushed and had given her a genuine, "Yes, Ma'am" but then kissed her forehead diffusing her angst. He couldn't handle Maggie upset in any manner. Maggie's insistence was a relief because she had a bigger and much fancier kitchen than any he'd ever seen and to a bachelor it was very intimidating. Campfires and grilling on the forge he could handle. Kitchen gadgets and do- dads was another critter.

"I decided to fix your breakfast once you got up, so it would be fresh. I've got your usual ready to cook but I didn't know what she will want, can or will eat. Does she have any allergies?"

"'Xpect she'll continue shadowing what I do, so just make half of what you fix me and not a lot of spice. She's eaten everything we've offered. Milk for her. Could sure use some of your special brew. That hospital coffee …..'t's like trail coffee." He shook his head and made a face at something tasting pathetically awful. Maggie had become Jess' favorite barista with her hand-ground east coast imported flavored coffee beans. "Claims she doesn't even know her last name and I believe it 'cause she's clueless about normal things like foods and just ordinary you know, girl things. Told her she could have whatever she wanted in clothes and she asked for her own hair brush."

"I'll get the coffee, Jess." Josie headed for the stove shaking her head sadly and Maggie began cooking the breakfast. Typically, she had it pre-prepared and the stove was fired. She just needed to put it in the pans and cook them.

Chuck looked at Jess reading him and Jess caught him looking and shook his head. "Quite a week."

"Get the oil company taken care of?" Chuck decided to give Jess a break and talk about business – a nice neutral man topic as a balance. Have I mentioned that Chuck was an astute male human? Relieved, Jess adjusted his self in the chair settling in and pulled his shirt together in front. He tried to get a couple buttons closed one handed as he talked and managed about two closed near the bottom. He'd have gotten further but the first try started cockeyed and he had to undo it and begin again and his hand got tired. He'd wrenched both hands hazing the buggy horse and his right wrist was catching on him during certain directional moves for some odd reason…happily leaving it tied to his chest.

"Ya. That part went smooth and was all done within the hour. Got a 3rd well pooling up fast about a mile down from the second one and got the paper work signed for a new pump. That's three now, all about a mile apart. They say it has to be coming from a fault line. They're sending a team out with the pump right away. None of them are expected to be gushers but they're a strong and steady supply of crude. Says the refinery likes the purity they're getting from me, a cleaner crude concentration meanin' not as much refinin'. Makes a better profit." Jess smiled. "People are taking to this new kerosene and they're manufacturing a better lamp with brighter wicks. Be a great investment open a little shop selling ladies new fancy lamps and shades for their homes. Better wicks burns brighter, causes less chimney cleaning. Showed me some pictures of business lamps and fancy hanging ones for lobbies, too. Businesses are interested because they get more light and less cleaning…hotels and such, you know, eating places. They're making huge profits on big business room lighting and outdoor street lights in towns… fancy homes. Because it burns brighter with less fuss the selling price of kerosene is going up though, if you want to stock up." Jess smiled briefly at Chuck over sipping his coffee from the mug, "I know a awl well owner, can get you a great deal, the latest in safety storage drums."

Chuck grinned from ear to ear. "You do, huh?" He was happy to see the pinch in Jess' forehead ease off with the switch to business….even if just momentarily.

"Have the new pump in by Thursday." Jess gave up on the buttons waving his left hand out of a cramp.

"Thursday last or next?"

"Nex…? What's today?

"Saturday."

Jess had an astonished look on his face and just shook his head, "Dadgum….missed that one. That oil company you got me into is a straight up group. Thanks, Chuck." He mumbled.

"Welcome, Jess, glad to do it."

Jess dived into another slurp from the hot coffee Josie placed in front of him and groaned softly under his breath with the refreshment of caffeine while sinking deeper into the chair. "Oh, that hits the spot!"

"Happens with kids." Chuck advised with a smile.

"What happens?" Jess' eyes widen slightly in mild alarm….not needing more unexpected things with kids.

"Time starts flying by. Disappears without a trace." He gestured a wave into space and his smile got broader and Jess nodded in relief. Chuck continued thoughtfully while returning to his coffee mug, "Maggie's sister back east runs a home decoration store in Boston. Maybe she'd like to open a chain out here in Denver." Chuck's mind became activated on business and money. "Hey, Momma, you might want to write her a letter." Maggie nodded from the stove as she put a pan of fresh biscuits into the oven. Maggie smiled to herself because Chuck always got her cousin, the home decorations store owner, mixed up as a 'sister.' Her cousin was as close as a sister and people often confused them as such as with all of her cousins because her birth family was very close and they'd all grown up together in tight formation often sleeping and eating over in each other's homes and such and holidays were always underfoot and running into each other. All three of her children had lived back in Boston with one cousin/sister/uncle or the other the whole time they were in college including Jr. And each of her relatives supplied her with constant imports of supplies, foods, spices, coffees, commodes, momma-supplies, etc. And lamps. So Chuck had done as others often did, defaulting to calling any of them a "sister or brother." To Maggie, they were all one and the same. It was just how she was raised.

"Oil guys suggested reinvesting my profits into a related oil field and multiply my earnings. You know, selling oil, then using that profit to sell the related lamps and wicks." Jess was fishing into Chuck's business expertise.

"Well, always smart to make your money work for you, not just sit and leak away on fru fru." Chuck willingly offered. "My Pa always said it takes money to make money. Light furnishings is always a need, might be worth looking in to, Jess. Just don't recommend you load all your profits into one area. They call it diversify. Means spread your reinvestment across several profit generators… such as cattle, oil, horses, furnishings and such. I've been reading about new concepts floating in transportation beyond the railroads that would use refined oil. The engine concept in railroads replacing horse and buggy and the stage lines will cause the engine to need to be continuously upgraded to something more efficient and more powerful for heavier loads and faster distances, especially now the east and west coasts are getting connected. What took cattle drives weeks to do now with the railroad is done in days. Stages going out is just the beginning of transportation shifts. People get across the country fast purdy soon they will want faster and more load. Coal and wood in railroads ain't gunna last long. They are dirty and porous and inefficient in speed and capacity. I'd lay a bet oil will be the equation replacing it 'cause it's liquid and volitile – glad you got wells… keeping my eye on that one."

Jess was nodding and listening intently to wisdom coming from hard-earned experience and polished off his first cup of coffee. "Wish I had everything you got in your head in mine."

"It'll come, son. Give it time, help you all I can."

"Thank you, Sir." He looked down at his cockeyed button job and muttered, "…need a lot of help."

Sara brought Annie into the room all fresh and pretty and Sara had braided her hair. "Here we are, Jess. Shiny as a new penny. She wanted to wear her cowboy boots today. They're so cute!"

Annie turned loose of Sara's hand and ran awkwardly in boots to Jess and he turned in the chair to where she stood between his legs with Hooter between them.

"WOW, look at you." Jess kissed her temple and gave a soft woof whistle between his front teeth. "Dadgum you're pretty. Did you braid your hair?"

She shook her head no and pointed at Sara. The braid matched Sara's who explained, "Annie liked my braid so I asked if she wanted one." Sara didn't tell that she had also put her conditioner throughout Annie's dry hair as she braided it. Sara was having a ball caring for a young girl, dressing her and doing her hair and such and Annie was getting a taste of an adult woman lovingly pampering her and liked it.

"It's pretty." Annie offered turning her head so he could see the whole hairdo. "See! Miss Sara said if I keep it braided it'll grow long as hers. She's got pretty hair and it smells so good!" Annie's hair was barely to her shoulders in length but thick and was a beautiful strawberry blonde. Abby's hair lady had done a miracle reshaping Annie's hair into something much more attractive. When braided it came past the nape of her neck by about 2 inches. Sara had braided it loosely.

"Nice!" Jess could smell Sara's hair fragrance on Annie. Quietly Jess commented while running a finger along the braid, "Abby said Annie told her that her hair was often cut off in punishment."

Sara piped up talking to Annie, "You know Jess knows how to braid hair, too. He does mine sometimes."

"Ya?!" Annie squealed softly and looked eagerly up into Jess' face but Jess waved his hand calming her down,

"Well, I can get it into a braid but not as fancy as she can do it. I'm still learning." Jess was not interested in gathering a long line of women expecting him to braid hair. Josie had been casting glimpses at him with wishfulness during the summer when he was braiding Sara's hair in Laramie. "Now see, I don't know how to do this one or…" he lightly touched Annie's then looked at Sara's hair and waved at it…. "or what she's done with hers today..." And he added glancing sideways as Sara… "and looks amazing."

Then he gestured at Josie quickly changing the subject while Sara blushed.

"Hey, Annie, this is Slim's wife and she's my sister. Her name is Josie Sherman."

"Hi" Annie's voice was tiny, a little shy, then more confidently announced, "This is Hooter, he's my horse." She held the toy forward. Hooter's yarn mane and tail was braided but not tied and was coming unbraided the more she moved the toy around. Sara had demonstrated braiding for Annie to practice.

"Such a beautiful horse, too. How old is he?" Josie bent forward. "May I pet him?"

"Ya, he don't bite. He's six years old like me."

Josie was leaning over eye level with Annie and petted the toy's forehead like she would a normal horse. "Hello Hooter! I'm Josie." Then back to Annie, "He's so friendly, too. Did you train him?"

"Yes. He's hurt like Jess. See?" She held his leg up so Josie could see the bandage. "The doc operated on him, too. He has two whole stickers we can take off tomorrow and he'll be all well again." She held up three fingers again.

Jess started to correct her "stickers" into "stitches" mouthing the word but gave up with a small smile.

"I see! You must be taking really good care of him to heal so fast." Josie offered with a warm smile gently stroking the bandaged area and then kissing it.

"I'm his nurse. I'm supposed to keep him quiet so he can sleep and get well. Why did you kiss it?"

"That's what Mommies do. Their kisses always makes boo boos better." Josie explained lightly stroking the bandaged area and cupping his hoof in the palm of her other hand much like a farrier would hold a hoof from the front to check balance. It made Jess smile.

"Oh." Then Annie kissed the bandage and added one to Hooter's nose. "I love you, Hoot!" She squeezed him in a tight hug. Then she looked over at Jess' face, pulled Hooter to the side and leaned up into Jess' chest as far as she could trying to kiss his shoulder covered in bandage wrapping. She almost crawled into his lap in order to reach his shoulder and once he figured out she was headed toward his shoulder he leaned forward to protect his knee wondering what she was trying to do. Once he was dully anointed it caught Jess by surprise and he choked unable to say anything and while choked up Annie leaned over and kissed the top of his knee. That was about all he could handle and he pulled her back close and hugged her.

"Thank you, Annie. Feel much better now." He cooed quietly into her ear with his nose in her hair. Then he kissed her ear and she giggled because his scruff tickled. Whenever Jess pulled Annie into a hug she snuggled in and never seem interested in pulling away. It was always something else happening that would peak her curiosity to lift away from him, then never very far.

Maggie brought the two dishes of food to the table and Sara brought the condiments and biscuits. Josie brought a fresh pitcher of coffee she'd been brewing and filled everyone's cup or mug. Annie was immediately drawn to the smell of food and again looked longingly at it like she'd never eaten food before.

"May I hold Hooter so you can eat with Jess?" Josie offered both hands and tilted her head slightly raising her eyebrows in the middle.

"k, but don't let him run around yet." Annie easily handed the toy over. "He's not supposed to run 'till his stickers come out. I like you, Mrs. Slim and Mr. Slim is sure pretty…he's very tall. I could eat him." She slid into the chair Maggie was holding for her that was next to Jess at his left and Maggie adjusted the pillow on the seat that raised her to a better height. Annie seemed happy about the pillow and just held on until things quit moving then grabbed her fork.

"Thank you for fixing the food Mrs. ….um."

Josie grinned from ear to ear and exchanged looks with Jess about Slim's description and Jess was feasting on watching a happy child unleash herself and happy with the gain in her confidence level just over night. He mouthed the word "pretty" and smiled mischievously as Josie refilled his coffee cup from the pitcher she'd filled.

Maggie offered, "You can call me Mrs. Maggie, and you're very welcome, Annie. If you want something else I can fix it for you."

"I like you too, Mrs. Maggie. I eat whatever Jess does…." She picked up her fork holding it in a fist and started into the food like a starved kid. "…he's got the money." She chewed quickly and stuffed more eggs into her mouth then spoke with a full mouth, "Is that weal milwk?" With her fork she pointed at the glass at the edge of her plate and talking with her mouth full had to catch escaping crumbs with the back of her hand.

Jess was watching her with an endearing look on his face and then plowed into his own breakfast left handed. Sara was busy buttering new biscuits that had just come out of the oven.

"It sure is. Fresh this morning, too." Maggie confirmed.

"I love weal milwk. Not the sandy milwk, the smooth milwk. Ma got her milwk from a box most of the time. Never liked it." She put her fork down and took the glass in both hands and drank the whole amount leaving a milk mustache on her lip, "Oh, ya…this is the good milwk."

"We have lots of this milk, Sweetie, from a real live cow, too. Anytime you want some, just let me know, ok?" Maggie offered.

"K" Annie acknowledged chewing with her third mouth full of scrambled eggs again and with the other hand wiping her milk 'stache off on the back of her hand while pushing the empty glass back across the table to Maggie indicating she wanted more. "Yes, please. Um…Ma'am." Then she pointed at the bacon on her plate with the fork and trying to cut it at the same time asked. "What's this?"

"That's bacon." Jess answered and while Annie was looking at him he picked up one of his strips of bacon with his fingers and bit off a piece to eat. Annie put her fork down and without dropping eye contact to Jess she picked up her bacon also taking a bite, copying what Jess had done. Her eyes widened in delight of an approved new flavor.

"Ummum….I like it, too. Bacon….bacon..bacon. Got to remember, bacon." Annie had jammed several bites into her mouth and continued talking. "You have weally good food here. Nice and hot, too." She picked up her fork again and plowed into the scrambled eggs and then jammed a bite of potatoes in her mouth stuffing her cheeks looking like a chipmunk with a load of peanuts. Once she got it swallowed and pushing another bite onto the fork with her other hand offered, "I hope you got lots of money, Jess, this food is .." she shoved it into her mouth now mumbling with her mouth full…. "….best I ever had." She put her fork down and grabbed the bacon strip ready to jam it into her full mouth as she chewed. Jess softly reached over and with one finger restrained her bacon.

"Don't worry about money, Annie. But remember, one bite at a time, ok?" Jess coached softly. "There's lots of food and it's not going anywhere, so slow down some and enjoy it."

She looked at him wide eyed in open innocence pushing crumbs back in through the corner of her mouth but her eyes were overly wet and trying with all the hope she could muster to believe what he said. So his eyebrow went up and his head tilted slightly and he nodded yes. She finished chewing that mouthful more slowly and Jess released his finger on her forearm. She slowed down piling forkfuls into her mouth and Jess captured her in a bite for bite duet to help teach her to regulate the input. Table etiquette and manners would come in time as they got the ravenous and hopelessness under control.

Chuck noticed Jess was eating but he was also fighting back tears. Chuck frowned and nodded toward him getting Maggie's attention and she nodded noticing Jess' emotions leaking, too.

"Bring back memories, Jess?" Maggie asked softly.

"Ya, long ago…ones." His voice cracked and he didn't look up. "They're never far away." He was eating left handed and played with the next fork full of scrambled eggs back and forth before scooping their capture onto his fork and stuffing them in his mouth. Too many years of his youth with his stomach hurting because it was so hungry, never tasting real solid food until his teen years when he'd earned money and bought it himself, memories of powdered milk that made you want to retch but you had nothing else so you choked it down. The appreciation of the taste of good food or even just having food to eat something he wanted to remember and cherish no matter how many oil wells came in.

Annie noticed the adult conversation was cloaked in concepts she was not understanding but noticed Jess had gone quieter, so she piled her fork with a good size load of eggs and offered it to Jess similar to how they'd done it in the hospital. He leaned over and opened his mouth and she gently aimed and successfully got the load in his mouth and he closed his lips over it while she pulled her fork away. This time it was her mouth that was cockeyed watching and mimicking him getting food inside his mouth. He got the bite controlled, chewed and swallowed then added,

"Thank you, Annie."

She smiled and her eyes twinkled at her accomplishment and making Jess happy and then dove back in for her own next bite. When she looked back down at her plate Jess winked at Maggie who was watching intently.

After Annie finished her plateful of food and an extra half biscuit Maggie gave her a second glassful of milk which was quickly consumed amazing everyone just how much food she could put away. Then after brunch Jess with Annie and Sasha tucked in his various cavities sprawled on the sofa for a short nap. Sasha was tucked in around Jess' head and Annie was curled around his legs and feet, the left leg propped on a pillow she used for her head. Following a light lunch and potty trips everyone went outside. Jess had arranged through Josie for everyone to take a ride and a short tour viewing of the property to give Annie rules where she could and could not go. He was deeply concerned her curiosity might cause her to wander off and wanted to establish fences for her. Chuck had some business to do with Jr but Jess was joined by Maggie, Sara and Josie on horseback, Jess with Annie on Traveler with Hooter aboard and Jess had asked Slim to ride Bolero. He wanted to take some energy off the corralled stallion, give Annie a real horse show and reward Slim with the thrill of riding a gaited horse. At first Slim hesitated but Jess convinced him that his left leg and right shoulder but mostly his back couldn't handle the stud and really needed Slim's help working some oats off the stud so Slim (then eagerly) gave in…and lengthened the stirrups. Slim and Maggie both tried to dissuade Jess from horseback per Dr. Tim's orders but as usual, Jess did what he wanted and just promised to stay at a walk. Of course Slim's whole ranch turned up out of their hidey holes of work spots to watch their new boss on the ranch's prize spoiled stud and they weren't disappointed. If anything it only cemented their delight of having Slim as boss seeing more of his horsemanship and he once again mounted without use of stirrups. Even on a 16 hand horse. Josie snuck Bolero a full carrot and wanted to ride him but Jess told her she had to wait until she'd weaned the twins because no one could do that but her so she withdrew and rode Scout, who got his own carrot, too. Slim had hovered and helped Josie get aboard so she wouldn't hurt herself but she was healing nicely and ready for physical fitness. In his disobeying doctor's orders of no riding for a week Jess slowly and gingerly boarded from Traveler's off side desperate to prove (to himself) he wasn't all that beat up. But he couldn't stop the grimaces against sore spots on the out of sorts muscles and his leg was bandaged too tightly to bend a fit in the stirrups so it rode loose. Then Slim loaded Annie who was carrying Hooter per usual and tucking them both into Jess' lap. Maggie and Sara got themselves aboard their mounts as easy as putting on gloves typical to ranch women who'd been called upon on occasion to help wranglers. Then Maggie on her English saddle, Sara (western), Josie, Jess with Annie all watched from horseback outside the pole arena and Slim both got and produced his own high level of show and fancy horsemanship and a shadow crossed Jess' face. Josie caught it and giggled asking what the problem was. He admitted he may have made a mistake, Slim was "too pretty" and was producing a show that rivalled his. The ladies all laughed at Jess but Annie was transfixed and was holding Hooter so he faced the corral like he could watch, too. Jess had her in front of him on the saddle knowing he could handle Traveler with his leg pressure while he held onto Annie with his left arm and controlled the reins. He knew he could put Annie bareback on Traveler and not worry a bit about the horse, but he was not at all positive what Annie would do or if she'd ever been on a live horse so she could have fallen off. So he rode double and taught her to hang onto the saddle horn and that the horse had to be stopped before she could get off and showed her to stop any horse she had to pull the reins straight back.

"You like that, Annie?" Jess peered around to see her wide eyed amazement and delight.

She nodded vigorously and impatiently swiped away a tear of deep desire escaping down her face.

"Slim can sure ride." Jess admitted. "Someday, Annie, you could learn to ride like that if you want to." He could tell by her face frozen in horse adoration seeing one in live performance that she had cowgirl written inside her. He looked at Sara and quietly suggested maybe she could knit a bridle, reins and a saddle and blanket for Hooter and Sara instantly nodded with a huge smile and mumbled back to him, "Done! And I'll put a pattern on his saddle blanket, too." It was very easy to see Sara becoming attached to a little girl and was more enjoyable than an old doll she'd grown up caring for.

Once Slim got the edge taken off Bolero who was having just as much fun with Slim in control, they all rode at a walk around the lap path of the pole arenas inside all the buildings in perimeter. Jess was busy pointing and directing Annie's attention that she couldn't go outside or touch any animal without an adult and even with an adult could not leave or go outside the lap area they were riding and could not go inside the pens at all. With her eyes still wide in amazement Annie acknowledged and repeated the rules back to Jess as he requested. And he tested her several times making her point to various buildings and the arenas, which house was Slim's and which one she lived in, etc. She got every test question correct and Jess gave her a kiss on the head and a hug. She giggled. Then she wanted to drive Traveler so Jess gave her the reins and Traveler's ears immediately twitched because he felt the bit go slack and then started rattling around in soft tugs that made no sense. So Jess nudged Traveler ahead of the group and then at a walk coached her softly to move her rein hand to her left and Traveler turned, then to the right and he turned again. Her face lit up. Jess had her hold the left turn and they went in a circle and then back the other way. She giggled. Then he had her straighten him out lined up with the group behind and told her to pull back steady on her left and bump the right rein back and release. She did and Traveler backed up in between two horses and stopped and Annie's face lit up. The others passed them standing still and she wiggled the reins forward but nothing moved Traveler.

"He's not moving!" She whined.

"To go forward your legs have to squeeze his sides." Jess coached.

She started bumping her heels into Traveler and Jess quietly nudged him in the ribs and they caught up with Annie giggling. Jess' purpose was to begin to teach her how to control a horse eventually heading for rehabilitating her fear of the buggy event where ignorance had petrified her.

Well, then she wanted to go faster but Jess knew his stitches would jerk loose. She'd been glued watching Slim on Bolero riding beside them and Jess looked at Bolero gauging the energy level of horse wondering if enough juice had been run down yet. Jess knew it was hard on Slim having babies too small to ride yet and knew Slim would have them on horses the minute they could balance atop some withers but that was a few weeks away, at least until they could hold their own heads up. Slim knew Jess' body was not up to anything faster than a walk so without any further ado he quickly grinned and raised his rein hand forward.

"How about a ride on a big black stallion?" Slim asked Annie indicating an opening in front of him. She instantly dropped the reins and reached for Slim as Bolero was at least 3 inches taller than Traveler. Jess guided her trailing booted feet as they crossed his lap and injured knee then picked up his reins which luckily had crossed on top of Trav's withers. Slim easily reached over and settled her in front of him on the saddle secured with one arm. She reached for the reins but Slim softly moved them forward.

"I have to drive, though, on a faster horse." So undeterred Annie grabbed the saddle horn in one hand and still had Hooter in the other. She didn't care who drove as long as her and Hooter were aboard, all inhibitions over a huge and brand new environment just melted from her brain.

"Might want to put her on your lap, Slim. Bruises." Maggie quietly advised and Slim raised his head immediately recognizing the wisdom of the bounce of a hard saddle against a saddle horn to a little girl with a bruised crotch. He adjusted his legs forward underneath her so she'd be riding on the back of her thighs on top his inner thigh area with his legs further forward like a lap and then lifted Bolero into a gathered, gaited trot and began posting. The adults all knew that gaited trot was like riding a rocking horse in smoothness you could sit all day and never tire….if you knew how to post.

"Why not tag along, Jose." Slim offered just in case he'd need back up with a small child and Josie easily slipped Scout up in beside him and kept pace as the two began the second lap around the arenas. Scout, as a Morgan, had a very smooth trot. Not gaited, but Morgan horses are born to trot and it is smooth to ride. Jess, Sara and Maggie stayed behind at a walk. Maggie was beaming at Jess' natural father-ness setting out rules and teaching Annie softly rather than ordering her and it didn't escape Sara's notice either.

"Slim's just pulling at the reins wanting to get his twins on horses." Jess observed out loud. "Maybe that will help take the edge off."

"Never thought Bolero would be ridden by anyone else." Sara wondered.

Jess frowned not taking his eyes off Slim and Annie. "Slim's a sight better than me on horses, Sara, although you didn't hear that from me. His longer legs, height proportion to upper body- more naturally balanced….easy on him. Never seen a better rider, his cadence and hands. He's got the most gentle hands….." Jess mused remembering Slim treating his injury sites on their first trip. "Josie's just a tad behind me mostly 'cause she hasn't ridden as much, but she's got a good seat and soft hands, too. Just Annie's too heavy for her right now with her healing up from the twins. She gets back in shape it'll be different…. she'll have the other twin in her lap. Dadgum he looks too good on Bo."

They could hear at a distance Annie giggling and saw Slim in all smiles leaning forward talking into her ear. Half way around he handed Hooter to Josie and had Annie put her hands on top of and forward of his on the reins helping her believe she was reining the horse but never turning loose the control. Jess pointed at the movement.

" 'ey, see there. Natural daddy, he's gunna have them twins riding by their first birthday. Look at him!" Jess was grinning for the first time in weeks pleased at seeing both Annie and Slim having the time of their lives.

"Look at Bolero!" Sara offered.

Everyone took a second look and sure enough, Bolero's ears were twitching back and forth seeming to realize he had a small child on board and moving very smoothly and balanced. Pure athlete in controlled power and true enough, this big black stud was moving very smoothly and soft and his ears were constantly twitching back and forward as though enjoying the giggles.

"Amazing isn't it? How horses seem to understand a small child aboard." Maggie wondered out loud.

Jess' group finished their lap at a walk and stopped while Slim started a third lap where he brought Bolero from the trot into a gathered lope and was more encircled around Annie securing her with his chest and forearms helping her body ride the rhythm and not just bounce along. Josie dropped behind at the end of the 2nd lap because her wonders of the universe were due for supper and since Slim wasn't needing any help either she pulled up with Jess' group to watch Slim and Annie's 3rd lap at a lope. Her eyes were definitely watering in love watching her husband handle such a hot stud and at the same time coach a 6 year old the proper sit of a horse's movement. Josie pulled up next to and on Jess' left and he reached over giving her a hug and she smiled back at him while wiping her eyes with her hands. Annie's face was just beaming in utter glee as Slim's was all smiles and his blue eyes sparkling at the aliveness of both riding a superb athlete, controlling him, and giving a small child the thrill of her heart having only known a disastrous life. Annie looked more like she was riding in a padded rocking chair with her legs dangling down the front of Slim's surrounded by his chest and arms not needing to balance. She was in heaven both riding the slick stallion and having the "pretty Slim" holding her securely but soft like a man should in respect.

"It's good she gets to feel a gentleman's touch. Her spirit will register this." Josie observed. "Was a good idea, Jess."

"Ya, well, once in a while I do get it right." He smiled back at her only briefly looking away from the pair. "Hers isn't the only spirit that will register this."

Josie looked at Jess admiring the pair on Bolero, "You could have saved Annie's first horse ride to do yourself for when you were well enough to do enjoy that privilege." She astutely observed but Jess just kept watching them silently and readjusted his hat wondering if that news was so obviously written across his face what he was thinking.

"Jess?" She asked again.

"Ya, I coulda." He was still watching and Josie couldn't read him any further. Maggie and Sara looked at Jess wondering, too.

"Why didn't you?" She asked again.

Jess looked down at his saddle horn then looked back to the pair on the stallion. "It's a gift."

The three women looked around Jess at each other not able to figure out his answer, then back at Jess and he felt all six eyes piercing his brain seeking understanding. He saw Slim closing down the ride and sure enough Slim could have gone a fourth lap but he wisely pulled back to a walk the last 3rd of the 3rd lap. Bolero was just getting warmed up but he obeyed, happy for contact with humans and any level of activity outside his playpen. It was his first ever contact with a short, tiny human and seemed fascinated by the little girl.

As Slim and Annie approached Jess gathered his reins beginning to turn Traveler to join using leg pressure, "It's something between him and me….we're just sharing pastures. Don't worry, he'll figure it out later, when his blood level comes back to normal." He barely looked at Josie and then nudged Traveler to fall in. She could easily see from the full on view he was fighting back tears but not allowing open viewing which was odd so she didn't press him. The lady observation gallery joined up entering the walk and everyone dropped the horses at the barn where the gawking cowboys eagerly took the horses to tuck them away trying to make it look like they hadn't taken a break.

Jess dismounted on Traveler's off side and barely got to Bolero's side as Slim leaned over attempting to deposit Annie on the ground. He had miss gauged Bolero's height and his reach depositing Annie to the ground so she would have had to drop several inches but Jess stepped right under and caught her bum across his left forearm like she would sit a chair. Annie grabbed his neck like she'd done it a million times and Jess set her on the ground softly. She accidentally bumped his hat but he caught it in time and re-secured it firmly on his head and grabbed his cane out of the rifle sheath as the wrangler took Traveler off. Bolero immediately turned his head and arched his neck leaning down sniffing the small human. That was a sight to behold, a striking 16 hand tall and broader than the other horses who could out run any of them, stooping his elegance to sniff a short human whose head came barely up to his shoulder. Annie felt Bolero's muzzle and his sniffing her head and she reached up wide eyed and petted his face beside his nostrils, about as high as she could reach her back arched to make it that far. She looked over at Jess as Slim dismounted the other side.

"His nose is so soft…." she was in wonderment still stroking Bo's muzzle. Bo softly snorted putting just a light amount of moisture in his nasal passages to smell this tiny human better but not so much as to get her wet. Then he nuzzled her head softly. Annie giggled and tried to catch his moving muzzle but Bolero was too fast checking her out all over, even down her body and feet registering her body fragrance.

"That tickles!" And she giggled. "Why is he doing that?" She queried.

Jess caught Bo's bridle and held his head still so Annie could pet the nose again and as stand by control so Annie wouldn't be stepped on. Bo had his front hooves planted together in a show stand and was frozen in place….and Slim still had the reins on the opposite side as he was dismounting, but it never hurts to be thinking ahead.

"He's smelling your fragrance, Annie. Horses don't know anyone by names, they know whoever they meet by what they smell like. He's just getting to know you so he'll recognize you the next time." Jess explained.

Bo put his nose at the front of her face sniffing her and she started to back up.

"Blow lightly into his nostril, Annie. He's asking to know you." Jess coached. Of course everyone was watching the two…and the horse…. a 16 hand 1600 pound black stallion and a tiny 30 pound female child.

She looked at Jess with wide eyes, then with one little hand spread out softly on the top of Bo's muzzle, she blew softly into his nose and Bo sniffed her for several moments.

"Do I have to smell him, too?" She asked and then blew some more.

"No, you know his name and what he looks like."

"Oh. Like Hooter."

"Right."

"Hooter never wanted to smell me." She challenged softly now holding each side of Bolero's lowered nose with each hand, still blowing softly at him. Bolero had swished his tail, he was finished with identification so just held still accepting this small human was no threat, a female human foal and accepted new member of his 'herd.' Her fingers were spread and so light he could barely feel them on his face so he was unworried about being captured and amazingly stood still even lowering his head further so he could see her better.

"That's because you slept together. He's smelled you, you were just asleep when he did it." Jess fudged.

"Oh. Ok."

Josie, Sara and Maggie were standing slightly apart watching them and Maggie whispered to them, "He's such a natural father…look at him teach her."

Slim came around the front of Bolero and joined them smiling ear to ear and Annie jumped up and down toward Slim and he bent down and swooped her up with one forearm and she grabbed his neck like she'd done Jess'. She planted a huge kiss on his cheek and then hugged the stuffings out of his neck choking him.

"OH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU MR. SLIM!" She gave him another loud smooch. "I want to go again! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE CAN I RIDE AGAIN!?"

"Well, you're quite welcome Ms. Annie. We have more days and lots of horses. There will be more, I promise." He assured her while beaming through a ruddy countenance in embarrassment.

Josie had dismounted by herself without any problem, came up and handed Hooter over to Annie. Annie kissed Hooter and then with her eyes glowing in new experience she hugged him and Slim put Annie down on the ground. Slim slowly angled Bolero away and walked him deeper into the barn where a cowboy took him. Then Slim joined the ladies and put his arm around Josie kissing her forehead and joined watching Jess and Annie. She pointed into the door of the barn where the hands had disappeared with the horses.

"Why did they take the horses in there?" Annie asked Jess.

"That's where the horses live. It's where they have their bedrooms so they can sleep." Jess taught.

"They have bedrooms?" She asked in amazement and then turned and grabbed Jess' hand and started pulling, um…well, dragging him into the barn. "Can I see? Can I see?"

Jess took a stronger grab on his cane to keep from falling over and chuckled trying to keep up but happy to see Annie following his rules about having a human escort. Slim and the ladies watched from the door. She got to where she could look down the aisle and saw all the box stalls lined up forever (to a small girl's view). A good number of the horses were cross tied in the aisle being cleaned up from the day's activities.

"You own ALL those horses?" She asked incredulously her eyes huge with wonder and her voice pitching higher in excitement.

"Some belong to Slim and Josie, some are mine. Most of them belong to the cowboys who work here. Each cowboy owns at least one, some own two. They all live together like a big family." Jess explained.

"Is there a bedroom for Hooter?" She looked up in innocence to Jess then back down the aisle.

"Hooter is an indoor horse. You and him are…short enough to share a bedroom." He explained. "That's why your bedroom and bed is so big. Gotta have enough room for him, too, ya know."

"So that's why my bed is so big." She echoed trying to confirm the concept inside her head.

"Yep. Horse steps on you in a crowded room, it hurts. You step on him, he hurts. Gotta have room to move around. We'll fix up a corner of your room for your clothes and one for his tack."

"What's tact?" The adults all smiled.

"'At's his clothes, you know, the saddle and bridle and blanket."

"He doesn't have any." She started to deflate quickly looking squarely in Hooter's face and then stroking his forehead in sympathy. She started to murmur, "an' I don't have any mon (ey)."

Jess pulled her closer and sat down on a nearby bale of hay pulling her between his knees. It was close enough the adults could over hear their conversation. "Hey, I got some tack for you didn't I?"

"You mean my new clothes and these boots?"

"Yep, only on a human it's called gear."

"Ya. They are pretty and soft, not scratchy like my other dress was. And my other dress was short, my legs were always cold."

"Well, I've got tack ordered up for Hooter. But he's horse so it may take a day or two to get it ready. Can you wait? He's got to finish getting well before you start working him."

"Ok…he's not ready yet. One more day." She held up two fingers then kissed Hooter's nose. "You get well, Hoot!" Then she remembered to kiss his bummy. She blew strongly into his face and pointed her finger at him, "And don't you forget me, either! I'm your mommy." Next she turned Hooter's face and shoved it up into Jess' nodding to Jess he needed to blow. Jess blew into Hoot's nose and Annie added, "And he's Jess, don't forget him, neither!" Jess chuckled.

"Sara's going to make his tack so it fits him perfect. She may need to borrow him so she can fit him just right. Is that ok?"

"As long as she doesn't make him work." She advised now going into 'owner mode.'

"Oh she won't. She's very gentle. You know her and Mrs. Maggie are my nurses like you're Hooter's. They know how to take care of us."

"Ok." Annie was still leaning in between his legs backed up into his chest and he was leaning forward with his mouth at her ear. She looked out to where the others were standing watching. "I really love it here. I never want to leave! Mr. Slim is sure pretty and he feels so big and strong. He touches me different, like you do. When you touch me it doesn't hurt like my pa. I feel safe with you and Mr. Slim."

"You should feel safe, Annie, when anyone touches you, especially any man."

"My pa says when he touches me down there and hurts me and when he makes me do things to him, that means I love him. Is that true?"

"No, Baby Cakes, it's not. That's not how big people and short people show love. What do you feel inside when he does that?"

"It makes me feel bad, not like what I feel when we do things."

"What you feel inside, that "bad" you feel is built into all of us so we can see what the truth is and know what to do like a lamp shines at night so you can see. When inside says "bad" then we need to stop and get away from it. When it says "good or ok or makes you feel safe," that's what you need to run toward and do that." Jess paused and gently turned her to face him, put his finger under her chin to gain eye contact wanting to make sure she was receiving him clearly. Her big blue eyes at first hesitated but he wiggled his finger once under her chin and she finally looked him in the eye. He continued, "As we get older, we get better at listening to that inside part and then doing what we're supposed to because of it. Do you understand?" His eyebrows were furrowed in a peak but his head was slightly cocked in encouragement.

She nodded, "A huh." Then she went silent and tears welled up studying Jess' eyes as though seeing blue for the first time and trying to define the color of his eyes as she looked Jess squarely in the face. Jess easily read that she was receiving confirmation in her spirit that she was perceiving things correctly that she'd seen was wrong but someone or something had been confusing her and he nodded softly to her gaze.

"I weally like you teach me things, help me understand stuff. When you tell me things it makes sense with what I feel."

"When that happens, Annie, it means the person is telling you the truth and they can be trusted. Do you know what truth and trust is?"

She looked down and shook her head no.

"Truth is a fact that is proven accurate. If I say Bolero is a horse, then that is truth. He is not a cow or a pig, he is a horse. We know he is a horse because he has four legs, a long tail and mane and he is shaped so we can ride him. Cows don't have manes and you don't ride them and pigs have none of that. Understand?"

"Ya."

"Trust is what goes on between people when they tell the truth. If a person doesn't tell the truth, then you can't trust them. You can't believe what they say. So if I told you Bolero was a cow, but you know and have learned he is horse, then you know I am not telling you the truth and you can't trust me."

"I get it. Bolero is a horse and because you tell me he's a horse, you tell me the truth which means I can trust you."

"Right. Always look for truth, Annie, love truth because truth is your best friend."

"I do. Other people tell me things and it doesn't feel right and makes me sad. When you tell me the truth I feel happy inside."

"That's my girl. 'At's the way it should be. Learn to listen inside yourself and keep truth close. You'll do fine."

She tentatively reached forward with her index finger and touched his Adam's apple and he watched her hand come until it got under his chin then looked back in her face trusting her. She brought her finger down his neck, "Your voice is so soft…when I'm next to you and you talk…I can feel it inside me and …" Then she looked back into his eyes, "…I'm not afraid."

Jess' eyes were welling up with tears ready to fall over his lower eyelashes seeing deep inside her gaze at such tender innocence being confused by adults doing wrong things and lying to her. He let her look into his eyes as long as she wanted so her spirit would register an honest gaze and she looked for quite a few moments. Then she softly said, "I love you most" and slowly kissed his cheek and he felt the moist drip of the tear on his face that fell from her eyes.

He drew her close and tight to his chest and his hug wrapped almost completely around her and held her for an eternity of seconds losing his own tear. She cuddled tightly into his chest putting her arms around it under his arms with her ear next to his heart. Then knowing she would feel his voice inside her he softly cooed,

"I love you, too, Baby Cakes all the way to my toes. I always will no matter where you go in life, remember that. Anytime, anywhere you are, I'll always be here if you need me."

Then he released her and kissed her cheek looking straight into her eyes and wiping the tear trail off her cheek with another kiss.

"If you can't find me, find Slim or any of those ladies." She held Hooter up toward him and he kissed Hooter's nose and then he drew both of them back into a deep hug and Annie rested her head on his shoulder seemingly in no hurry to move away from his capture. (da!)

After several moments Maggie took a few steps toward them and lightly hollered, "I've got milk and fresh cookies at the house. Anyone interested?"

Jess and Annie pulled apart and looked at each other and smiled, Annie with hope and Jess with raised eyebrows.

"Oooo, fresh cookies!" Jess said.

"Oooo, fresh milwk!" Added Annie matching his facial expression like a mirror.

He grabbed his cane and Annie put her free hand on it to help steady it for him. Jess smiled at her effort and stiffly stood and they began wobbling toward the barn door. As they got close to the group Annie held Hooter up toward them announcing firmly,

"Y' all need to blow in Hooter's nose so he remembers you 'cause he don't know your names!" They smiled and then each turned in line and took Hoot's nose and blew. After Slim finished (last), she pointed at Hoot's nose speaking to the toy, "Especially him, Hoot, 'cuz he's pretty."

Slim blushed but he looked at Jess and teasingly raised his shoulders and nose in pride. Jess just shook his head then looked at Josie,

"You better be careful, Sis, ole' Slim's got a girlfriend drawing a bead on him."

Josie smiled then brushed Jess' outer shoulder back and forth mockingly slapping him. "I'm not the least worried and she's one smart little lady 'cause he's a catch!" Then Slim and Josie kissed as they walked arm in arm out of the barn.

That week ended and a new one started with the routine big Sunday dinner at Slim's where Annie met Daisy and Mike. Daisy had fried chicken and that made Annie very happy as she sat next to Jess again and shadowed everything he did. Mike seemed tongue tied looking every bit guilty of being love struck as a boy could but astutely nobody teased anybody to save embarrassment all around. Well, not then anyway. It was saved for later. By Sunday evening Sara had built a beautiful set of knitted tack for Hooter including a soft western shaped saddle which thrilled Annie. Sara taught her how to put the tack on because at first Annie had loaded the saddle horn at the back. But once shown, she got it right after that. Jess had filled Maggie in on how Tim and Abby had used surgical technique checking Hooter out, so to take out his "stickers" Maggie prepared the kitchen island complete with pillow and towel and pulled a chair up so Annie could stand on it and was at the right height to "assist her in surgery removal of said stickers." Annie insisted that Jess stand by to assist herself and he enclosed her with his body surrounding hers on the chair while he held onto the island 'just in case she slipped." And then she plopped the scissors into Maggie's hand just like she'd seen Abby do. Maggie cut the wrap and then the stickers and pulled them off very neatly and you truly couldn't find where the hole had been in the toy's leg. Apparently, and you had to look extremely close, Dr. Tim had stitched the hole closed from the inside then added fake oversized sutures on the outside that were to be removed later. Dr. Tim was an artist and had impeccable bedside manner. Annie's eyes got really big as she examined her toy horse finding no trace of any "wound" and she murmured, "Wow! Mommy kisses weally work!" and then proudly ran to everyone very excitedly proclaiming loudly showing off Hoot's leg.

The next three weeks sped by just as fast as Chuck predicted. Annie became more settled and as she did began blossoming into a bubbly confidence that was still tender but she wasn't jumping at shadows any longer. She never disobeyed the rules or left the house without an adult. She had begun sleeping in her own bedroom the whole night through by the third night and by the end of the second week her nightmares completely stopped. Jess continued working on her table etiquette and she finally slowed down from woofing the food down but still managed to put away a good amount. Maggie managed to wrangle Hooter away from Annie long enough to fully deep clean and sanitized the poor toy in her special laundry system and hung him (artfully) in the sunshine looking like he was running on air for a perfect purge and he turned out one full shade lighter. Maggie explained to Jess that when her kids were babies she would hang their diapers in the sunshine and then overnight to get them extra white and sanitized. Annie only noticed he smelled better. Before being returned Maggie also reinforced thread bare areas with her tatting skills and sewed in some extra longer yarn mane and tail giving the former straggly toy a healthier look. She also opened a seam and stuffed a few more leftover socks inside so he didn't look so hungry and thin being squeezed so diligently by his "mommy." Annie noticed that part that Hooter was "getting fat" and Jess told her he was only growing up and filling out like a healthy horse should now that he was getting good food. Then she got worried that she was going to get fat, too, but Jess told her horses grow faster because they end up bigger when full 'grow'd' and she had nothing to worry about. So she kept piling the food down. Jess arranged a corner of Annie's bedroom into a corral he made from cleaned twigs and fashioned a box stall out of propped and intertwined books. It was done purely by stacking and wedging and was a work of art that amazed everyone at his construction prowess with tucked book covers. Still, Hooter slept in the bed with Annie at night. And Maggie rested better knowing Annie wasn't breathing unknown bacteria. During the day they'd find her in her room quietly playing with Hooter with her fingers astride him in his saddle, romping around her bedroom, the floor, the bed, sometimes taking a nap on the floor with her head near the toy in his corral. She was happily lost in a child's imagination of play reliving her fantasy rides with Slim. Slim took her for more rides on various horses and one time kept her half a day on Alamo while they sorted a small group of yearlings in the arenas. It was a cool day so he had her zipped up inside his outer jacket and peeking over the middle buttons secured from sudden directional changes. She was ecstatic and all the wranglers began making friends with her bringing her whittled toys such as a saddle stand, a hay manger with a hand tied miniature hay bale made from green grass and twine. One of them braided a miniature lariat which Sara promptly chained a tie on loop. When they took a break half way done Slim was sitting with one leg propped over the saddle horn and Annie sitting on his lap leaning into his big chest much like laying in a recliner. Someone brought out some beef jerky and they were working on that but Annie had difficulty biting and chewing the tough stuff so Slim bit off pieces and pre-chewed them until they were soft enough she could take over. He started handing the chewed piece to her hand, but by the second piece she just opened her mouth like a baby bird and he laid it on her lips, all whilst smiling ear to ear. He reported later that she was getting the rhythm he was teaching her while riding and by the time she would be shifted to a solo ride she'd have the basic grasp for posting and a lope. He figured she was still too short for a full gallop and he could teach that later "once she got some legs grown out under her." Someone even found a small cowboy hat left over from somewhere and gave it to her.

One of her greatest moments of delight came when Jess took her to a small pasture to see the new crop of foals and their mares and she squealed and "just had" to go blow in their noses. She never knew horses had "babies." It was quite a sight because Jess let her into the pen and she got to romp around the foals who seemed just as fascinated with her as she was with them. They would chase her and she would squeal and giggle, a few of the mares trotted along behind the parade nickering.

One night after dark Jess and Sara took her outside with a blanket and laid down in the open to see the stars. Annie never bothered looking up so stars were brand new to her and she was mesmerized with their twinkle. Laying side by side and between the two adults Jess began pointing out pertinent stars brighter than the others and taught her to find the North Star and the Big "dripper" and he taught her about the moon shapes that told the length of a month. In teaching her about the North Star she'd wondered why that was important and he told her on cattle drives where there were no roads, one of the duties of the chuck wagon driver, the "cookie," was to find the North Star every night. The cookie would then point the tongue of the chuck wagon toward the north so when everyone got up the next morning they would know which way they were supposed to travel to get to where they were going and not get lost and go in circles. He told her he was telling her about the star so that she could always find a direction and never get lost if she found herself alone. He said if you don't have a direction, you give up in confusion like believing lies people tell her. By being able to find that direction was like having the truth and she could work her way out of being lost in the confusion and live. She listened attentively and managed to grasp his information but it was night time, too, and she drifted off to sleep cuddled under his arm watching the stars twinkle. He and Sara were singing a duet of "Twinkle, twinkle little star."

Jess was having some difficulties with his injuries mostly keeping him grounded. The leg surfaces healed but the knee's interior parts kept giving way at odd moments while they healed even though he worked the leg's therapy per Dr. Abby's instructions trying to rebuild strength. It was a second injury to the cartilage of the left knee so it healed slower. The calf muscle was more susceptible to cramping up while it was healing. That folded him up a couple times and it temporarily changed his mount to the off-side when he did climb aboard. The back wound everyone had worried over healed fine but sometimes would freeze up feeling like a knife between his shoulder blades. The shoulder was giving him fits either in retribution of reinjuring that quarter of his body so soon from the barn fire, or just the interior damage as well. He reported to Maggie that he'd feel a sharp hitch on some certain movements and fire heat inside the ball joint but the skin had healed with no abscesses and all of his "stickers" had been removed.

Removing said stickers was a whole other story. Yes, Annie insisted on being Mrs. Maggie's nurse to help her remove Jess' stickers, too, and was standing by ready again to copy what Abby had done slapping scissors into Maggie's open palm which made the adults chuckle. It wasn't that it was embarrassing to Jess to have Maggie, Sara and Annie working on his body parts but Annie had started crying once all the bandaging came off and she saw just how many stickers Jess really had. Plus they were still red and the bruising underneath was diminished but still visible. She thought there would be a "few more than Hooter's 'cause he was taller" per Dr. Tim like maybe one or two more, but his shoulder and calf was covered in short rows. She took one look and immediately blubbered up headed for a full implosion of emotion and Jess took her close and finally got her to tell him what the problem was. In between sobs of pure anguish nearly crushing Jess' heart of themselves, they could barely understand words of "you're all tore up," "got all those saving me," and the one that broke her into a full out sobbing cry was "I didn't give you enough mommy kisses." That pulled a deep groan from Jess as she melted into his chest sobbing and he began re-thinking his allowance of letting her see his injuries not wanting to upset her more. It hadn't occurred to him that a small child took things literally and believed the human would heal as fast as her toy which was make believe. It was a boo-boo in calculation and caught him off guard because he was used to injury sites taking time to heal up. He was getting antsy not having an answer when Maggie came over and circled a hug around Annie's other side and kissed her head. She asked Jess with her eyes if he wanted some help and with arched eyebrows he eagerly nodded "yes." So Maggie used a corner of a towel dunked in a glass of water and mopped Annie's face and tear streams and began teaching her that as you grow up you begin to understand there are consequences to things when they go bad. It's not a matter of fault, but as you grow up you take on responsibility for yourself and for others and if or when someone gets hurt because of something that happens to you, too, it's a real grown up thing wanting to pitch in and helping fix that hurt until they're better…. like her giving "mommy kisses" to Jess. So she was doing everything right but getting better takes people different amounts of time. Hooter only had one bullet hole, Jess had five. (she held up the correct number of fingers.) Then she asked Jess to show Annie his scar from the flank wound in the barn fire and he quickly pulled his shirt tail up showing it to Annie and Maggie asked Jess to take Annie's finger and let her feel it. He did and Annie's eyes got really big seeing a very neat and tidy scar that was almost gone, just a small soft line on very healthy tissue. She told Annie that it was an injury from a year or so ago when Jess had rescued lots of horses and a young lady in a huge barn fire and that it used to look like his current ones but had more time to heal and disappear. She told Annie that eventually it would be difficult to even find the scar on the old wound. Annie was just seeing wounds that were still healing and Jess was still working on repairing the skin. His new wounds were bigger, deeper and he is older than Hooter so he has to work longer on mending his self. Annie sniffed and rubbed her eyes and checked out Jess' eye contact to confirm what Maggie was saying and Jess raised his eyebrows and folded his chin upward making an endearing face nodding his head yes and in typical baritone cooed, "I'm working as hard as I can getting them healed up." Annie believed his eyes and made a "mommy face" stating matter of factly, "You need to work harder, Jess!" Then she pointed at a new injury mending on Jess's shoulder they were getting ready to extract stickers from. Maggie told her she could touch it and tell the difference and notice that the wound was closed and the stickers were not needed any longer, but the skin was still mending under the surface and that was why they were still red. She told Annie to look really close she could see the skin was closed and Annie nearly put her nose on one on his shoulder and touched it again. Maggie urged Annie to be patient with Jess because adults have lots of things they have to take care of and since she'd been involved in the accident where Jess was hurt, did she want to still help him continue to mend? She eagerly nodded yes and the tears dried up. Annie announced that Jess had given her so much she wanted to help him mend until all his new injuries disappeared, too, and she had lots more "mommy kisses" to give, or she'd find some somewhere until he was all new again like Hooter. Jess pulled his chin up in a tease and told Annie he sure hoped she had more because they sure help! Maggie was amazed at Annie's moral integrity being revealed at such a young age to take responsibility for the injuries and then dedicate effort and energy to fixing them. So Maggie complimented Annie to her face how "big a young lady she was getting in there and staying until the job was done and pulling her share of the load" and Annie blushed. Jess chimed in he knew when he first saw her that she was "some kind of girl he wanted to know." Annie kissed his cheek then Maggie's and Maggie moved smoothly forward and offered to show her how to cut which stickers and then they re-tried turning the scissors to Annie. Annie was fascinated and thrilled doing the medical stuff and with her tongue half cocked in the corner peeking out the side of her mouth while working, she was very gentle, almost too gentle and Jess teased her about tickling him. Jess told her it wasn't just anybody he trusted enough to work on him and she smiled looking briefly into his eyes. They left a few of the deeper stickers for a few more days and then Maggie showed Annie how to rewrap Jess' leg to support the knee as it healed. When they were done Annie kissed his knee and shoulder again and promised to not give up. It was an introduction of teaching her how to give back in her love and she was eager to do it and then afterwards you could see where she felt better about herself by having given out to help someone. Maggie was closing up her kit and talking to Annie explaining why Annie was feeling better now was because she had helped Jess just like Jess had helped her. Helping people and animals is worth more than all the money in the world. Suffice it to say, Jess got extra hugs and kisses from her that evening. Maggie got extra hugs and kisses from Jess.

Maggie also used the opportunity of Jess' mending issues to put Jess back into a "hot salt bath" as healing therapy using the heat and salt to assist the mending processes under the skin faster. But she then transferred that concept to Annie who followed suite in her own bathroom for her taking her own private bubble bath, in just warm water with Maggie's help (and attention to certain details of the feminine nature). It gave Maggie, with Sara in tow, the chance to teach Annie how a proper mother helps her daughter complete with checking behind ears, making sure all the shampoo was rinsed well, and the special all encompassing hug in a big huge towel at the end. It got Annie used to taking baths as Jess had asked without him ever touching her. Jess was reticent at first going back to "baths" when he had a hot shower available without an impatient Slim threatening outside the bathroom door. But when he figured out what Maggie was doing, he was a sport and made jokes in a serious manner about how he really needed to follow Maggie's instructions because she was more experienced and wiser. Since her arrival Annie had copied Jess so Maggie was employing the technique of using Jess as the continued benchmark and motivation for Annie to learn from without actually having Jess hands on with Annie learning and doing girl stuff. Just as she followed his lead in eating, since Jess was attentive to his appearance and ablutions Maggie simply channeled Annie into following Jess' routines of his personal hygiene by initiating Annie's own routines in a feminine nature. It worked beautifully. His body healed better in the heat and Annie learned some beginner ablution chores. Of course, Annie got to the point of learning to draw her own bath and loved playing with the bubbles. So sometimes Maggie had her hands full getting Annie OUT of the bathtub and into her jammies where, after getting her hair quickly braided, Annie promptly fell asleep – a lot of the time in Jess' lap. Maggie was an experienced mother.

Sara would braid Annie's hair every night taking all of two or three minutes and Annie discovered she liked curls in her hair the next day. Often Sara would do a certain variation in Annie's braid on purpose in front of Jess to covertly show him another style of braiding for her hair….and while he seemed to ignore them and keep chatting with Chuck or Slim or whomever, still he picked up on it without Sara even mentioning her purpose. He surprised her one night with the new styled braid and then finagled his self a couple extra smooches as a ree-ward. Jess' inventiveness in getting kisses from her amused Sara to no end because she would have willingly fulfilled any hint for a kiss for free. He was a great kisser and she enjoyed them as immensely as his wrap around hugs which were often accompanied by his tugging on her ear with his lips. But he seemed to feel he needed to earn them for some reason and she marked the lip nibbling to his simply being a stallion of the two-legged variety following the pattern of what she'd observed in horse studs who seemed to show affection and possession the same way.

CHAPTER 10: ANNIE LOST

About five and a half weeks from Annie's arrival mid-morning Jr was having coffee with his sister and folks in the dining room catching up on everyone's news when there was a rap on the front door with a female looking for "a Jess Harper." Jess was not up yet. Annie was in a side area behind some furniture in the living room quietly playing with Hooter and had just finished putting on all of his new tack when she heard and recognized the woman's voice and ran with Hooter to her room to hide. That alerted them and Chuck sent Jr to fetch Slim in a hurry who was working in the front arenas. Chuck wanted someone on board who had experience and could handle Jess believing this was going to get ugly in a hurry and worse than the bank box with the attorney that he'd witnessed. You didn't get to Chuck's station in life without being able to read people and a developing scene. Maggie and Chuck escorted the lady to the living room as Sara went to go get Jess up and dressed. The female was as mad as a wet hen made worse by having to wait that late in the morning for a man to be out of bed and dressed and she impatiently refused an offered cup of coffee and declined small talk. They explained to her that Jess was recovering from major surgery on both his leg and shoulder being laid open. She didn't care.

"Jess!...Jess, wake up!" Sara arrived at Jess' bedside and gently moving his shoulder.

It was hard for her to stir him because she knew he had a rough night with pain and had finally dozed off into some sleep just before dawn reaching deep REM sleep. But he slowly sucked in a gasp of air coming back to consciousness and his hand came to his eyes trying to physically pry them open. He got the eyelids separated but focusing was several miles behind. He was one crumbled up cowboy with the usual morning scruff and bed-hair having tossed all night trying to find a comfortable position and the long johns he was wearing to sleep in were all twisted and cockeyed no doubt contributing to the soured mood. And while his stickers had been removed, the affected joint areas were still wrapped in support bandages while he did daily strengthening therapy exercises Dr. Abby had assigned trying to rebuild tendon and muscle endurance after all the plowing he'd experienced inside those stickers.

"Ya." It's a deep, hoarse mutter that was barely audible. " 'Is better be good."

"There's a woman here demanding to see you."

"Couldn't be for me then." He muttered and dropped his head deeper into the pillow. His inner spirit was on auto pilot denying the existence of any female of interest. Since meeting Sarabeth he wasn't interested in or dating anyone or had any back load of worry or concern haunting him. But the fog began lifting.

"Poppa sent me to get you up. Can you make it?"

That told Jess something was serious and needing his personal attention and he groaned.

"Where's Annie?" It was a question sourced from instinct because his brain was still not in gear yet.

"She ran to her room with Hooter."

Jess' eyes popped fully open. "Oh dadgum…" he muttered. That told him she'd recognize her mother's voice. "Is there a back way out for her?"

"No, any one she used would be seen by the living room and that's where the lady is with Poppa and Mother. Poppa sent Jr to get Slim."

From stiffness, sore pain and remaining support bandages Jess couldn't move very fast and he slowly pulled the bedding back but his eyelids were still half-mast. By now he'd been sleeping in his long johns and Sara had seen him in these clothes and been changing his bandages so she'd seen everything except what was under his shorts. She stood back up and offered her hand helping him to sit on the edge of the bed (or find vertical) and not sure how far he'd dress, she reached for his jeans, socks and robe as options. Between groans and pain spasms he pointed to his day clothes which they loaded on him. His shoulder and arm were still bandaged, just not in a sling so it took some time to gently ease the jeans and shirt on. Then she gently pulled him to his feet and handed him the cane for his left arm so he could walk. The left leg was always very stiff in the morning and took a couple miles to unclench else it would go into a hard cramp and collapse.

"You were tossing most of the night, Jess." Her voice was full of concern.

"Ya, air weighs a ton." That told her that the weather was changing. Jess was getting really good at forecasting. "If I'da been smart would have grabbed my Indian blanket." He waved blindly at the headboard where the blanket was folded over ornately decorating the bed.

Gaining his feet Jess stopped for a moment rubbed his eyes then tried to stretch around the injured parts without them going into a full rebellion. Being concerned and worried Sara wrapped her arms around his waist for a tender hug. Not one to turn down a morning hug and sensing her worry, Jess wrapped around her in an encircling hug.

"Mmmm…..always a good start to a day." He leaned down and they kissed. "I hope she's got some proof, 'cause I never saw her." He whispered and turned toward the door in slow motion. Sara followed as did Sasha.

"Well, from the look on Annie's face when she heard the lady, then ran to her room, I'd be pretty certain Annie would know her own mother. What are you going to do?"

"I …am going to lose some water first." Holding his index finger up in the air. Typical….Jess moves at his own pace, so it was no surprise to Sara. "Better tuck Sash in the bedroom and close the doors." He called through the door and Sara obeyed but had to aim to capture the dancing butterfly as she tried to scoot into the bathroom door to follow her patient. " …. 'is could get ugly…" was muffled from inside the room.

Amidst small woofs and whines she got Sasha tucked behind doors then waited outside the bathroom door for Jess to finish. He came out with his hair still not combed, a second day's scruff and his undershirt not tucked in barely two buttons done on the outer shirt. Sara wrapped her arm around his waist on the right and with the cane they gimped down the hall to the living room with Jess mumbling a wish for a cup of Maggie's hot coffee. Slim had just arrived at a run and slipped in the back kitchen door coming up behind them by a few paces. The mother saw them coming and jumped to her feet charging right up to Sara whom she'd seen and now beside Jess. Maggie and Chuck following her. They met between the living room and dining room in the entryway lobby area but near the kitchen island.

The lady was flushed, a good sized medium weight woman of average appearance and middle aged maybe a year or two older than Jess at best. Basically, she was a smaller version of the old country pioneer size woman but she looked like she'd been rode hard and put up wet all her life. She outweighed Jess by at least 25 pounds and was almost as tall. Big woman…and Jess had typically dropped 10 pounds since the accident. She charged up to about 18" from Jess with Sara holding his waist. Slim immediately didn't like things and he gently tugged Sara's shoulder seam back just a few inches causing her to step behind Jess in case he needed to move quickly and Jess stood propped by the cane on one side and the island on the other. Chuck's face on the other side of the woman was also unhappy and he was tense and ready to move and he moved Maggie behind himself. The woman seemed unaware or unconcerned over Jess' crumpled appearance and ashen color.

"Are you Jess Harper?" Her voice was harsh and accusative.

"All my life." Jess' voice was quiet, respectful but deep, instantly recognizing and not liking the pure ugliness he saw in her eyes. He knew it was a smart-alecky remark but wanted her to step back in her attitude by not being too polite making her believe she had the controls.

"Where's Annie?"

"And yo.." Jess couldn't stifle a yawn… "…u are?" What he got out came out as stiff a voice as a gunfight dare. The gunfighter instinct still living inside Jess woke up much faster than the injured one with little sleep.

"My name is Jane Hollister. Where's Annie?" She repeated.

"Annie, who?" This person definitely needed to be slowed down a tad in Jess' mind and she needed to be vetted in his opinion. Jess didn't just fall out of bed and roll over and he was stalling for time trying to get his brain to function off of waking out of the deeper parts in broken sleep and no caffeine.

"Annie Hollister. A little girl about yea high." She held her hand low about the right height of Annie's head. "I'm Annie's mother. I was told you have her in custody."

"No one is in custody here, Mrs. Hollister. We have a small child named Annie here but she has no last name, she is a guest and is not being forced to anything. Anybody could show up here claiming to be her mother. Do you have any proof of your relationship?"

"Well I could show you my identification, but all you have to do is bring me my daughter. She'll recognize me." Jane snapped rudely.

"Under usual circumstances I'd agree that would work. But she could also recognize you and be afraid to deny your claim. I'm legally responsible for the little girl, Ma'am, and I'm not just going to haul her out here for anyone claiming anything. You could easily be a hired imposter for all I know, so if you are her mother, you should have something as proof, a picture or documents of who you say you are. In good faith, of course." Jess softened his voice some vetting her pliability and presenting an "affable" qualifier…should he ever be challenged in court later. Filling in as sheriff and deputy matters had taught Jess a few things about questioning strangers making unverified claims.

She grumbled and without dropping her eye contact, dug into her purse and produced a locket with both their pictures and a letter addressed to her and handed them to Jess. He was hanging onto the cane and leaning on the nearby island for balance so his hands were busy. Sara slowly stepped closer and took the items, opened them and showed them to Jess. Slim maintained looking over Jess' shoulder at the upset woman. In Slim's experience you don't look away from a coiled rattlesnake especially one shaking a handful of paper rattles between her hands loaded and ready to project into their faces. Jess looked at them briefly and nodded. Sara folded them back up and handed them back and returned to her designated spot just behind Jess to his right and next to the island.

"Now, you want everything legal, I'm officially serving you with this!" She snapped while handing him a folded legal document holding several documents…er rattles.

Sara started to reach for it, too, but Jess shook his head very slightly and she froze obeying him and watching a new poker game. Jess knew better than to accept legal service, especially with these circumstances.

"I'm not accepting any service of documents until I know what your intent is with Annie. Doctors who have examined her say she's been physically abused and I don't know but that you're the one abusing her. Physically protecting her is more important to me than anybody's pieces of papers."

Chuck nodded his head in agreement and was seen by Jess' peripheral vision.

"She's my daughter, you stole her and I want her back. This is legal service for you to return her and a restraining order to stay away from both of us. Now where is Annie?"

Jess' voice was neutral but his body was complaining and he was trying to hide pain spasms. "Sto…? I certainly didn't steal your daughter or anyone else's child. The Annie we have here was abandoned in a buggy that was spooked and I rescued her. Maybe we're not talking about the same child, Mrs. Hollister. The little girl we have here was brought here after authorities were notified of both her existence and location. Nobody stole her and she is here in the house of her own free will, is safe and well. Now, would you care to calm down and have a seat? We are on the same side wanting what is best for Annie but some things need to be cleared up such as why a toddler was abandoned in a very large city and could that happen again." He continued.

Chuck and Maggie looked at each other realizing Jess was elongating the event but yet agreed with him taking the time to vet the circumstance and the claims some unknown woman was forcing. Maggie was already smelling a dead rat and frowning at the mother. Every part of Maggie believed you just don't leave a baby unattended in a buggy in a strange city. If you have business to do, you take the child inside with you, especially a female child. To do otherwise was purely insane or criminal….or even both!

"I don't have time. I want my daughter surrendered immediately so we can leave." She demanded still standing rigid pushing her nose into the air and unwilling to admit she'd made an error leaving the child alone.

"Annie said her mother disappeared leaving her alone. It will be a shock for her to find out that you're still alive. I'm not your enemy, Mrs. Hollister. I AM trying to help keep Annie's world in some sort of order for her safety and wellbeing. Surely you have time for one cup of coffee. I'd like to help both of you if you're in danger."

She took a menacingly step toward Jess and waved her legal document in his face almost brushed the tip of his nose and dropping the tone of her voice threatened. "You will give me my daughter right now, or I'll have the local constable out here immediately! You're one hair's width away from being arrested for kidnapping a minor child."

Her move was aggressive enough that had she been a man Jess would have immediately piled into her and he still bristled instinctively sinking lower in his legs bracing to charge. The hand Jess had on the kitchen island steadying himself pulled into a tight fist. Slim felt his move and knew exactly that Jess was 'cocking' his self for imminent discharge and rested one hand very lightly on Jess' left shoulder. He knew Jess would never hit a woman, but he didn't know what Jess would do in protecting his self from one either. He also knew Jess had reached the end of his patience with talk.

"I know the local constable – go ahead bring him out here. I'm sure he'd like to meet a…." Jess' fuse was close to the end of his dynamite anger, his brain was now fully awake, his voice was dropping and becoming very stiff edging into a gunfight timbre.

Slim interrupted and tried to take things down a notch from Jess calling the mother an unflattering adjective. Chuck also inched closer from the other side of the woman while rolling his head slightly because the hair there had stood back up. Chuck had seen Jess' pa physically hit women with a fist multiple times with just the attitude this woman was displaying, so his move was basically a subconscious one. But he saw Slim calmly inch forward and the hand go on Jess' shoulder which suspended Jess' next move in forward gear.

"Mrs. Hollister, I'm sure you can see Jess has been injured. He's recovering from injuries sustained when he saved Annie's life twice, once from the buggy and the second from some bank robbers. Those injuries nearly killed him. Surely you can understand his hesitancy is for Annie's good, somebody he risked his life for, twice." Slim tried to offer back up support to calm the lady down. It wasn't working. She darted a snide threatening look back at Slim and shook her rattlers at him.

"Is YOUR name Jess Harper, too?! THIS is between me and him. YOU stay out of it, Mr.! I don't give a rat's ass what he's been through. It can't be any worse than what my child and I have lived through." She said snidely and was becoming angrier and snottier the longer they talked. "Annie's father has chased and beaten both of us up all across the country since she was born, and I was shot and left for dead in a bank robbery." She pulled the left shoulder of her dress back showing a fresh bandaged wound just above the lung. "I believe he's still after Annie, but it will be over my dead body. I've been in a hospital ward so I don't know where he is now, but I want to get Annie back and disappear off the face of this damnable earth before he can find us again."

"Do you think if he's tracking you or Annie that she just might be safer here with me?" Jess offered as a last attempt but he was frowning because something wasn't ringing true about this mother, still for Annie's sake… "If you're looking for a sanctuary as well, I could try to help you, too. I have a lot of resources available that could help both of you and provide some protection."

Annie had crept back down the hall and hugging the wall was watching and listening from the corner of the living room. Only Maggie saw her.

Mrs. Hollister took another threatening step and shook the rattlers in Jess' face again.

"I've got the law to protect us. Now give me my daughter!" She ordered in a near screeching voice.

With Hooter still fully tacked out and tucked securely under one arm Annie charged past everyone and clung to Jess' injured left leg. She nearly knocked him over as he tried to hide the pain of her impact against his weakened and cranky knee joint stretching its crabbiness in a direction it was never intended to bend.

"MOMMY! Don't hurt Jess! He saved my life! I want him to be my daddy!"

Annie was crying and almost screaming and folded around Jess' leg like she'd been attached with some sort of super-duper glue. The top of her head was barely above crotch high on him so her left shoulder was tucked deeply in between his legs and literally hanging on for dear life with tightly clenched fists. Her grip was so tight had Jess not been wearing his usual jeans against the still swollen left leg, Annie would have had a full handful of the high side of the back of Jess' thigh skin.

Maggie quickly noted that Annie grabbed Jess but put her back to her mother and was ducking her head deep as though trying to tuck in under Jess' um…dignity, and then looking back over her left shoulder keeping one eye on the mother. That indicated to Maggie that the child was protecting the front side of her body as having been either beaten or strapped across her back or otherwise learned to use her back as defense and was tucking her face and head into Jess' body for protection perhaps being slapped about the head or face repeatedly. A child that young would not pre-think such a maneuver and it would explain the child's reaction toward a father who would rape her, but not the mother. It caused Maggie to frown heavily and she began to back away from Chuck thinking about the gun over the fireplace. There was something wrong between the mother and child, too, as a child willing to go back to a mother or at least unafraid would face the mother and merely take Jess' hand while supplicating, not try to bury her body in Jess'. Maggie looked at Jess' face she could read somewhere deep inside his self Jess had to be sensing that fear in the child causing him to still challenge the mother and not proceed to return the child. She knew Jess loved the child but would follow the law and he had his mother's proclivity for sensing what was morally correct whether or not the brain had all the facts yet. She knew his mother would have quickly read the child's fear…. Jess would have, too, just he perhaps would not have isolated it yet by thought. For just an instant Maggie felt a breath of pride seeing Jess standing tall over the troubled, defenseless child suspending matters and knew his ma would be proud of him seeing him root his feet deeper in the struggle to discern what was the truth here and do what was ultimately the right thing. But her attention quickly returned to the action.

Slim put a steadying hand in the middle of Jess back and Jess never looked away from Mrs. Hollister. Experienced gunfighters know better than look from a threat. This lady had obviously been beaten many times and Jess could see the same pain he'd witnessed in his ma having experienced the same. But this woman was fed up with being a victim and the problem was she had herself now turned into the bully she had experienced and that concerned Jess more. If she could get this ugly with him having rescued her daughter and offering both of them help, then from now forward what would she do as Annie grew older and began exhibiting more of her own self will? He was further somewhat befuddled seeing the same ugliness coming from this woman that he'd seen come from his pa's face way back in the day…she was a woman, where was her tenderness? Was she already this ugly with Annie? And why would Annie hide from the mother both in her arrival and now wanting her back? Racing through his mind he remembered Annie had never once asked about her mother, or protested leaving the last known location of her either. Why didn't Annie welcome the mother in relief and eagerly want her mother? Why did Annie thank him for teaching her and not confusing her? Could that have gone beyond the torturing father and include the mother? Didn't this mother explain things to her child, she was 6 and a very smart little girl. Things weren't adding up in Jess' spirit and what was under the visible surface was not making sense.

Through just his hand contact Slim could feel Jess' body vibrating equally from physical pain and weakness from his injuries, from the forming confusion plus the adrenaline release under imminent threat yet held by discipline facing a woman. Slim was afraid Jess was seeing a woman like his mother fighting for her life and her child against an abusive father knowing those kinds of memories were flooding back into the forefront of Jess' mind. He also knew from Jess' core, the inner gunfighter was standing without his gun against an obviously violent threat but it was one coming from the woman of the species he'd self-appointed himself to protect, not one he'd have to defend himself against. Slim knew the conflict was ripping Jess into shreds inside himself.

Chuck, Maggie and Sara were also watching Jess beginning to visibly tremble and the frozen look on his face. From her mothering instincts and connection with Jess' mother Maggie could see Jess' inner vault of scars being ripped open but she could also see not only Jess' mother inside him suspending him with doubts, but confusion from his own parental inexperience as a bachelor not knowing what to do with those doubts. The law favored Annie's mother, but his truth meter was lining up behind the little girl trying to crawl into his skin. The one thing standing true she could see in Jess was despite the cacophony happening all around and through him, something deep inside him was solid in holding on until the truth could come through or become firmed up, then he'd make his decision and she loved that about him.

From expertise in reading tells, Chuck could see Jess freezing up and all his usual fences regarding his own personal self were caving like the ground when an earthquake opens and swallows whole masses. Both of them tensed up and Maggie laid her hand on Chuck's lower back. Sara could feel and see Jess tensing up but his confusion was puzzling her.

Annie's grip on the back of his thigh was all but going through his jeans and she was gaining a tiny fist full of flesh. Plus she was pressing with all 30 of her pounds between his legs and if she pressed one more ounce harder, she'd have been standing behind him. Jess' heart knew he had to address Annie' fear and she was so close to imploding underneath him he didn't have time to continue the debate, he had to respond to Annie's fear-filled pleas. You couldn't find a more direct line to the deepest part of Jess' core even if he was still a bachelor, former gunfighter, saloon brawler and cowboy extraordinaire. Parental instincts are just as strong in the male of the species only those instincts reach deep into the power core built within a man not the soft nurturer from a woman. Some of the strongest men were the deepest nurturers of children. This was not only a child, it was a female child, so it was a double tie line to his soul. So Jess dropped his left hand onto Annie's back trying to console the trembling child supplicating to him not as a gunfighter, but to his maturating daddy hormones. By steadying the child he was also trying to loosen her death grip on his injured leg that was throwing him off balance and he sensed the life threatening level (def con 5) need to stay braced. Her choice of location to safety was fine with him, even agreed the strongest location for her but it also inhibited his center of balance to either defend his self or attack and it suspended him from all directions. To the mother, though, it looked like he was taking a tighter custody hold of her child's body into the shelter of his leg and she misunderstood his movement as though using his hand as a barrier against her and could turn from her and depart.

"Turn loose of my daughter!" She nearly screamed and charged toward Jess.

She obviously didn't see whom was holding whom and she raised her purse and swung it full force at Jess' face in a strong back hand as an instinctive attempt to break down the physical barrier preventing her taking hold of the child. It became a battering ram and because his right shoulder hadn't made it raised higher than shoulder high, the purse hit him fully broadside covering the entire right side of his head and face. It was a cloth drawstring purse with a long rope tie not a flimsy string and it had something heavy in it, Jess couldn't tell, maybe a small pistol, or a large cannon, might even have been a whole house. Whatever was in that purse was humongous and it was solid and there was sufficient over filled, cross-circuited motherly instinct loaded full force behind her back swing it nearly took off his head. It hit him squarely in the cheek and jaw lifting him off his feet and toward the weak knee Annie was strangling. In physically struggling to protect Annie cuddled under his ….um…dignity which he agreed to be her safest location all things considered, and with his big paws sheltering her and trying to un-choke his knee at the same time to gain mobility, he didn't have a snowball's chance in "1134" ….to use his legs to brace against or duck from the fully loaded deadly weapon. He did instinctively crouch over her within the shelter of his torso managing to keep her head securely tucked under his… protection and out of the line of fire from the balance of the less controllable downward gravity side of the swing. According to God's purpose-filled design of the male body to protect the seed generative source of the continuance of human race on this planet, Annie couldn't have been in a safer location. It is the pivot center point of balance for Jess' entire body mass and muscle density especially with his practiced experience riding and diving on and off horses and his muscle strength on both sides of that pivot spot that enables the leaping of tall buildings in a single bound. As it was the purse's downswing did catch the back of his hand covering Annie's brain and it bruised the entire top part of the back of that hand. At the same time his entire vision became a massive 4th of July blast of paparazzi stars and stripes forever that would have rivaled the last grand finale detonation of a fireworks demonstration in the nation's capital. It just didn't come with music. She followed that by a strong shove with both hands followed with her shoulder into his chest charging into his body. At her size she could have taken out half the backfield of a football team or at least a dozen wranglers. Jess was frozen reliving the memory when his father had backhanded hands and objects into his head, charged him when he had tried to protect his mom from the father's physical abuse and then had picked him up and thrown him across the room breaking at least one leg, they weren't sure how many other bones. Yet, this was a woman, a female, dadgummit a petticoat now, and actually physically charging him and he was not braced like he would have been for any male attacker. THOSE he knew how to fight. In a fight with a man you can legally hit anywhere. With a woman, you can't even touch one inch of any part of her without layers and layers of permission, not even in nice times. For a true cowboy, contact with a woman was severely restricted. He was sunk!

The force of her double blow drove Jess both sideways and backwards and he both fell into and was caught by Slim who was at his back. Slim wasn't frozen by past memories and while Jess' body had blocked his view of the beginning of the swing, he saw the end of the upswing of the bag moving just in time to pull Sarabeth out of the incoming line of fire before Jess' body fell into him just in time to break Jess' fall. And the handbag did just barely miss Sarabeth and he heard Chuck mutter something unintelligible, but oh was it fierce and probably a multi-colored word so foul that it would have put a feedlot to shame. Slim's concentration was not on Chuck's verbiage at the moment so the exact word was not processed. The energy of the force that hit Jess transferred through Jess' solidly packed, muscled body driving them both backward and Slim's spur caught on the chair behind him and they both went down on the floor on their bums with Jess mostly between Slim's long legs. The cane was launched somewhere into inner space without a space craft and nobody saw it land. It was found months later hanging precariously like a decoration from a knot in one of the ceiling beams of the living room and was never retrieved. Somehow, out of sheer instinct, Jess wrapped his legs around Annie's body catching her fall's momentum in his core protecting her from breaking herself on anything in the ruckus. At the same time he raised his left arm and hand to shield his head from any following blows. Annie was still holding on tightly wrapped around Jess' other leg landing by bounce into his softer torso still protected between his legs as all three went down. Slim's fall behind Jess broke her loose as the back of Jess' thigh landed on Slim's bent knee and finally loosened Annie's death grip on Jess' thigh. Sara dived in to grab the tiny hand holding Hooter and pull Annie out of harm's way of falling 200 pound men, flying furniture, stationary furniture too well built to break under the weight of two men locked in mortal combat with an irate 200 pound female who'd blow'd her rationality and was wielding a cloth covered house around herself by a rope tie string. That was a noble move by Sara and not at all uncommon to the natural instincts of a budding woman hood, but it exacerbated the assault as it turned the enraged mother toward Sara believing Sara was in cahoots preventing her custody. Right in front of Jess' blurring vision Mrs. Hollister grabbed Annie by the other hand as it popped loose from his thigh and she began charging Sara to get her loose from Annie. She was slowed some by the fact Annie was on the floor, but THAT was a triple mistake because it was close enough Jess saw Jane's shadow turn and charge both a child and one of the other innocent women of the house. Both of them were a female of the species it was his duty to protect all in imminent danger and because his equilibrium was askew it still didn't occur to him that he was sitting on his bum and not standing on his feet and he immediately tried to get up to protect them both. Unfortunately, the inner ear fluid in his head was a full tsunami in confinement so his balance was completely out of plumb and the second he tried to move his legs failed because he couldn't tell which direction the floor was. He was sprawled out all over some surface (the floor) like a 10 pound sack of sugar broken open when knocked off the counter. His eyebrows were peaked in the middle arguing for real estate with the forward hanging curl and his mouth began now bleeding profusely causing him to gag hard while his right cheek and temple began swelling up like a blowfish. He had a cut on his ear that began its own waterfall. Nobody paid attention to poor Sasha shrieking (barking) loudly from the bedroom and bouncing off the door she was jumping against sounding like a German Shepherd or small pony about to ram through the front gates of "1134" itself. That daggone door was in her way and anybody who's known a Papillon is fully aware they do NOT consider themselves a small, 8 pound pup! Had she been loose, her mouth would have been fully packed and her jaws locked down solidly like a vice on a certain woman's anatomy even if it meant she was flying around her in the air….that's why Papillon butterflies have wings. "!"

Slim slickly slid his self free of bodies and debris and jumped over Jess with his twirling spurs barely clearing Jess' bobbing head. From his height advantage he tried to grab Mrs. Hollister's right arm with the fully loaded semi-automatic deadly purse trying desperately to disarm her and prevent a second launch and battering at Sarabeth with the lethal weapon. It was moving too fast and apparently the purse's drawstring was looped or tied to the woman's wrist and was being reloaded into a launch at Sara. He was only able to grab the back neck area of her dress and yank her back diverting her off of Sara just as Chuck made it around the kitchen island and debris of chairs to reach Sara and put his full 275 pound body squarely between his daughter and the attacking mother. Nobody, and I mean nobody, was going to get past that daddy bear to attack his darling daughter! And he was both as tall as Slim and HE outweighed Mrs. Hollister by a good 35 pounds…. all chest. Big daddy bear! Big! Huge bear, er…daddy! And not so old as a cowboy that he couldn't still wrestle a full blown one ton steer, and actively help out on horseback during cattle drives. Maggie had already turned and ran toward the fireplace, grabbed the rifle hanging over it and was headed back toward the kitchen. Sara doubled back around behind her dad and ran to reach Jess on the floor. By then, still on his bum, Jess was seeing double shadows and his head was spinning so hard that sitting up he was wobbling on his bum like a butt-weighted baby toy not even sure what his bum was sitting on. Annie had managed to pull her hand free of the mother and ran back to Jess, tripped over his feet and fell into his lap still crying, "Daddy!" further punching him in unguarded tender spots because he didn't see her coming. In his lost balance, in pain and the weight of her body seeking him and trying his best to catch and steady her, he rolled backward into the kitchen island knocking the same side of his head. He grabbed the right side of his head just as the lights went out completely on his right eye and the left eye became unable to keep up with the room that was spinning so fast because gravity was pulling him in too many different directions and he couldn't keep up. The tussle continued over him wobbling on his bum somehow not getting stepped on by Slim's huge feet. How on earth he escaped being impaled by Slim's spurs is purely a miracle of Slim's athleticism because the action all continued over him planted on the floor.

Mrs. Hollister twisted out of Slim's hand and came back at him planting one foot squarely down and with the other leg aimed her knee at his um….roots. She was tall enough and close enough she could have inflicted major damage, too, but this wasn't Slim's first fight either. He had both the height advantage, he could see her, and he'd had his fill of this female and since she'd launched the first assault he was rightfully in self-defense mode meaning he wasn't afraid to touch her. He also was not protecting a toddler's body under his dignity. He easily faded slightly out of the reach's full aim and grasping her upper body by her biceps was able to block her incoming battering ram by catching her knee in his outer thigh in a more glancing blow rolling her attack and momentum to the side. But it also backed him up slightly at an angle stepping around Jess at his feet while protecting his self and she swiveled back around and caught him in between his shoulders with the loaded deadly purse so hard that it almost took out his wind. It thwacked him so solidly you could hear it sounded like a starter pistol that either was overloaded with shot or was a shotgun replacing the pistol used at the beginning of a horse race. Slim did have to cough it off but did so quickly… again, not his first fight or with dirty tricks. This was a woman experienced at fending off aggression and had reached her boiling point of not taking any more abuse or disagreeing men. Then she turned grabbing Annie again who was back in Jess' lap still screaming,

"JESS! Daddy! I want Jess….Dadd DEE! BUT I don't want to leave!" in tears still somehow clutching Hooter in one hand and Jess' chest with the other.

With one hand Mrs. Hollister ripped Annie from Jess' lap by the clothes on her back and half a fist full caught in the free hanging braid of Annie's hair at the nape of her neck and lifted her fully into the air by the caught hair. The pull of confined hair was so painful it not only unbolted Annie's grip getting her loose, but whilst suspended over Jess' lap inches from his face, from the pain she let loose a full volume scream of some ungodly high pitched sound that no alphabet letter or number could have survived or been imbedded. It was of such a screeching tone exactly as Jess had referred to with Josie's nightmare as could raise the nerves on a certain point in men's bodies. Literally. Women too if they had such a body part. In some women, their womb would twist. I think you got the drift. Jess' entire body lurched as though he'd been literally stabbed with a mega-watt lightning bolt shot through him and every ounce of adrenaline left inside the ejectors shot through every pore in his body. The scream of pain from a female child was an electrocution and the pitch of the sound inches from his ears was magnified by the tsunami waves. It reverberated through his innards folding him over in a tight ball and with a gasping deep baritone he screamed a groan of his own pain that matched the intensity of that lightning bolt as though he had literally been cut in half….not sideways, but vertically upwards.

His fold over caught Slim's feet causing Slim to almost fall on top of Jess and he had to grab for the kitchen island instead of Annie to keep from landing squarely on his knees in the middle of Jess' curled body! The same thing happened to Slim's adrenaline as a new-daddy and suspended both men from being able to re-grab Annie from the mother's snatch. Slim managed to regain his feet but his knees buckled from the scream and he folded down over his self, too, grabbing man parts seizing up in pain.

Mrs. Hollister then took Annie's arm near the shoulder and hauled her out the front door. Annie was clutching a handful of Jess' unbuttoned shirt that tore off in her hands when ripped from her hold on Jess' chest as Jess was folded over his roots at the same time gaging on blood pouring from his mouth. The mother had the shoulder of the arm with the hand clutching Hooter and at the same time with the other hand Annie was holding the torn shirt reaching for her other arm the mother was nearly pulling from the shoulder socket and without doubt left the little girl's shoulder black and blue.

"MOMMY, you're HURTING MMEE !" was her scream that morphed into another earsplitting shriek of a child in a screamed, squealing crying bawl that was a twin in high pitch tone to the squeal when her hair had lifted her suspended midair from the earth. It was the last thing everyone heard of Annie as they went through the door and caused another inhaled sob to exude from deep within Jess' body as he sucked in air trying to breathe. Annie couldn't pull her mother's hand off her shoulder because her fist was full of Jess' torn shirt shred. It was waving in the breeze and she was gripping that like her second amendment rights being a cold day in 1134 and was never going to turn loose of his shirt. Indeed, in childlike innocence she fully believed Jess was still in the shirt just moments from rescuing her again.

Jess was in full overload. He couldn't see, couldn't balance, the whole world was spinning fast and his heart was being torn to shreds like the front of his shirt that normally covered that spot. In a rare and unique moment, he had no defense up…on any part of his being. His mouth and ear was bleeding profusely and spewing down the front of his undershirt over the heart where the shirt had once been. This wasn't a dripping blood from a fist fight, it was pouring blood from a tongue cut open from being impaled or bitten down on teeth. He was folded over in a ball with his head down, lost in balance clueless which way was up or down trying desperately to get his body parts to behave and still being pumped to the max with flowing adrenaline. His every pore, all of them and every nerve in his body was in pure adrenaline overload from hearing yet again a female child screaming in pain and helplessness and his last vision was seeing an incoming backhand taking him back to the day his pa had all but killed him when he had tried to rescue his ma. In between thrashings still trying to get his feet, still in full adrenaline flow and with Annie's scream rebounding back and forth in his eardrum's tsunami waves, Jess' legs would cross over his roots still trying to dissuade nerve endings from coming to attention. What he'd experience after the barn fire with Kensie on fire and Josie's nightmare scream was only magnified by a small, female child's scream which is even more saturated in shrill terrorized helplessness. With the door to his room of scars ripped wide open, Jess' normal disciplines were somehow still under control but teetering by the last frayed fibers of their hinges. Mostly by gravity's pull on his exhaustion and the lack of oxygen from lungs that were too confused to work, he finally rolled sideways down to his side on his hip and then resurfaced more upright but still folded like a ball bug. One arm was trying to re-extend to find and keep ahold of Annie who disappeared somewhere in the spinning room of shadows and darkness folding in on his eyes after all the flash bulbs quit going off. His other arm and hand was clutching his heart that was pounding out of rhythm and he was gasping for air whilst his legs were folded over his lower parts.

Slim wasn't far behind Jess in a mess because Annie's scream had fully pierced his own brand new father-heart as well and he swiped a tear off on his shoulder when he thought nobody would see. As with Jess, he was having to discipline his own male nerve points from the echoing reverberating in his being. Josie's scream had electrocuted his spirit back during her nightmare, but Annie's tiny child size and the huge depth of reverberation in her scream was playing havoc on his male parts as well. Jess hadn't produced Annie from his body, but Slim had experienced producing Jessie and nearly lost her, plus he had bonded with Annie during their horse rides. So her scream was more real to Slim in many ways than for even Jess and he was crouching down over his roots, too.

The mother obviously had legal right to the child even though she was being completely irrational and certainly hadn't needed any physical action. Mrs. Hollister slapped the unnecessary restraining order on Chuck's chest as she passed him and it fell to the floor as he made no effort to capture the completely unnecessary papers. Unable to stop the angered departure and unwilling to prolong the civil dispute ignoring the paper, Chuck followed them out the door at a wise distance while capturing the gun from Maggie's grip with his other hand. That rifle was already secured against her shoulder and trained at less than 10 feet away on the exiting woman and panning for a clear shot. Women, any woman, holding guns (or knives) made Chuck very nervous and he was especially nervous with Maggie because he knew her inside and out and had fully bonded from his own roots into her very soul and womb…they were one. He very well fell in love and married an east coast rich little girl raised in decorum with impeccable manners when she was barely 18 but in their 38 years as one flesh she had fully blossomed and grown into frontier reality. She would and now could very capably shoot anybody hurting any child and Maggie's face was fully puckered cheek against the barrel in intense tears of intent. It didn't take Chuck a second's thought or hesitation grabbing the rifle or a nano-second to read his wife and they were less than a hair's breadth from having a new hole in their log ceiling as he pushed the rifle skyward. Without even checking he uncocked the rifle the second he took it. He had taught her how to shoot a rifle defensively because they lived in the mountain country and bears would come down. He'd even seen that look on her one time before when with one shot she had dropped a 9 foot male grizzly bear from 15 yards away who was headed toward her baby son between them. It wasn't just a lucky shot, either, as her body was fully braced and there were no tears in her eyes when that trigger went off. Jr had been a toddler and had gotten too far away from the house when she'd been diapering Sarabeth. Yes, they'd given half the meat away and still ate bear all winter in all forms of recipes that year and the hide was the living room rug where she could still stomp on it and the stuffed head was hanging in a dark corner of his den. Maggie refused to have "that monster" hanging where she could see it. Chuck had used those preserved parts several times to teach his kids not to anger their mother. You didn't mess with Maggie. Nobody messed with Maggie when it came to children! She was a three time experienced frontier mother. Maggie was the most intelligent, tender and hyper-sensitive being he'd ever met who could amazingly and patiently tatt the finest delicate art and stitch work and would tear up seeing dew on an opening rose. But once you pushed her over a certain edge, she was more deadly than a rattlesnake and Chuck would willingly choose to fight 10 cowboys over facing his upset wife with a loaded rifle!

"ANNIE!?" was a croaked half scream half whisper from Jess who was still on the floor on his bum and wobbling sitting mostly with Sara's support. She had managed to get him squared on his bum but he was still wobbly and vibrating. He couldn't see with one eye and the other one was not feeding him accurate information and his brain was cross circuiting between traumatic memories of his childhood and current events too closely mirroring them in a reverse manner that was not ate all logical. Shouldn't a mother be grateful and thankful somebody had cared for her child and saved her life …twice? Petticoats often confused Jess but this one was way beyond his ability to figure. Why was she attacking him? He was even offering to help. Adrenaline stays active in the bloodstream for quite a while. Annie's screams were still actively pulling full force on Jess' adrenaline injectors going at full force like a bilge pump on a sinking ship because they had the same sound of terror that had already stripped his nerves bare from previous events and was the last thing he heard from her. That meant in being topsy turvy on the floor and in full adrenaline but unassisted unable to move or even know which way was up, his body was trembling horribly in overload. His arms were crossed hugging his self and he was folded forward over his lap with his legs going different directions.

Without even the slightest hesitation once Chuck lifted the rifle from her hands within one blink wiping her eyes dry Maggie had immediately floated through the debris and was at Jess' side on the floor in tenderness. Because he wasn't injured and didn't have the childhood scars Slim had managed to unfold and disengage his nerves and he kneeled down at the same time Maggie reached Jess. Maggie was on his right side, Slim was mostly behind him and they both saw and felt the trembling. Jess could smell Maggie's perfume but wasn't sure who was touching him where.

"Mom?" his eyes were open but unfocused in blindness and his hands began waving in thin air. He didn't have much wind to speak loudly and his mouth was in pain. "I can't slee… Mom?" For just one second Maggie regretted giving Jess rights to call her that name because of his confusion taking him back to his childhood, but that thought was instantly discarded as many times she had wished to take his mother's place fending off the abuse.

Slim touched him and all Jess knew was the feel of a big burly man and he flinched away,

"Leave her alone you big brute!" Jess tried to shove Slim backward with his back but couldn't find him in the spinning room either thus rolling further onto his lower back then coming up coughing blood that began to go the wrong way down his throat. With his equilibrium in balance Slim with Sara's help brought Jess back to a seated position.

"Mom…where's Pa…..! I can't see…him…..MOM?!" he got ahold of a female body, not sure whose trying to pull her into the cover of his body as a shield. "Get behind me, Ma…gotta find Annie!"

Sara and Maggie who were next to each other and each one had a hand on Jess' other shoulder spoke at the same time.

"It's Maggie/Sara, Jess." It was a duet and Maggie was busy checking out the right side of Jess' face bleeding profusely from the cut up mouth and she was frowning.

Slim tried again to touch Jess.

"It's Slim, Slingshot. I've got you." His voice was uncommonly deep and smooth but he spoke this time to help Jess identify his bulk and wrapped around Jess' back trying to support the seated position and steady the vibrating. Jess finally quit squirming enough the added voice was all Jess needed and he turned trying to find that voice, too…his arms still waving in mid-air like a flag in the breeze. Slim felt the area of Jess' back that was touching his chest as once identified as Slim, it immediately relaxed into him.

"SsLIM! (cough) WWheere's Ann….nie!?" Someone get Annie!...Baby Cakesz?.." It was a wobbly voiced whimper half an octave higher than usual as Jess tried to reach behind him for Slim, then tried to get up but his body was still in full revolt and cross circuited. The left knee in the support bandages was straight and refused to yield and was screaming because it had been wrenched both directions nature never intended it to bend. The other leg was folded going cockeyed not sure which direction was forward and which was reverse because it was jammed against the kitchen island which was grounded to the floor. Of course it didn't help Jess much in that Slim was countering every move Jess made in order to keep him on the floor to prevent him from injuring his self further.

"Hold still, Jess. It's Mom. Let me check your head it's bleeding." Maggie's ever calm, soft confident voice was a magnet to Jess and he turned back toward the sound of her voice and his hands were fumbling for where the sound of her voice was coming getting in her way.

"Can't see – …room won't hold still. (cough) Where's Pa? Help me up. Gotta get Annie before he hurts her again!" Jess' voice was fully urgent and trying to convince her, or anybody for that matter that he needed to get up! "Watch your back, Ssslim…(hard swallow) …he flightsss … dirty…" Jess continued coughing and spewing blood from his mouth profusely dripping down the front of his unbuttoned and torn shirt onto his undershirt. The inside of his mouth and right side of his tongue had been cut by his teeth and the blood was choking him. "Bit my …ow… tonguem…" Jess murmured and tried to put a finger inside his mouth to feel his tongue but his sight and depth perception failed miserably and his finger went along the outside of his left cheek missing the right side of his mouth completely. Slim leaned him forward to let the blood run out instead of gagging him and Jess' pants began to get sprayed.

Sara was weeping and holding the left side of Jess, Slim had his back and Maggie was on the right side examining the swelling temple turning black and blue again where the black eye was a recovering yellow. Jess' ear and jaw was blowing up in swelling. He was also bleeding from both inside the right ear and the cut outside and the right eye was bloodshot. With Slim and Sara holding Jess' body Maggie finally captured both of Jess' hands folding and pinning them to her um… ample wonders of the universe, trying to hold him down. Then she put her head down alongside the right side of his head pressing it softly further trying to stop the thrashing. Jess felt her head beside his and pressed back feeling more secured as the spinning room slowed down slightly when secured up next to her head because her head wasn't moving, and he heaved a sigh in relief. With a slowed spinning he recognized his hands were tucked into one of the ladies' "wonders" by their pillowy feel and it immediately suspended his hand movements not wanting to be over personal in case they were truly where he shouldn't be but couldn't see. It was a savvy move by Maggie who'd witnessed Jess' impeccable manners when in any physical contact with a woman. Upon feeling their undeniable attribute Jess' mouth "ooops" realizing his hands were quite possibly where they shouldn't be and since he couldn't see to confirm and knew he couldn't just go feeling around, he tried to pull them free. But Maggie just gripped them tighter and pulled them in deeper and Jess' eyebrows peaked in the middle as his head ducked lower into his shoulders. If he'd not been in a physical upheaval and ash white, he'd have blushed.

"Hold still, Jess. Breathe in." She interrupted whilst glancing at everyone stopping everything else around him.

"Yes Ma'm, um…..not … (sucking in air and trying to speak)…moving.." came out in a mumbled whisper and he stopped thrashing but pulled slightly to the side in embarrassment as though trying to disown his hands. Problem there, his head and shoulder ran smack into the middle of Slim's chest on the other side. Between Maggie being cheek to cheek with him and Slim's chest on the other side, he became penned and the spinning slowed way down. They both felt him suck in a second deeper breath of air in relief and although he was still not seeing anything, he blinked several times rapidly and then puffed out another small gasp of air.

"Another breath." She coached. "Slow, deep breathing, Son. You're bleeding from your mouth, try to breathe through your nose. Slow…breathe in….. exhale…..breathe in…."

Jess sucked in some air and exhaled but it wasn't smooth and trying to close his mouth he burbled blood bubbles. Still, it was oxygen and Maggie had his lungs functioning again…sorta. He tried again and got a deeper breath in and back out and then sighed heavily. His mouth whispered, "yes, ma'am" but no sound came out this time, just a fresh stream of blood. She wiped his mouth with her apron skirt but unable to see it coming he flinched until he recognized it was her wiping his mess.

"Your Pa is dead, Jess, he's not here…sit still, Son." Maggie coached slowly in a soft, smooth coo with her voice at his cheek uncaring his blood was getting all over her, too. She waited for another breath exchange watching Jess mouth the word, "Pa," then continued, "That's Slim behind you, Sara is on your left." She lightly squeezed Jess' left hand indicating left and Jess looked slightly to his left hand in understanding. "Annie is gone, Jess."

She looked up at Slim speaking quieter motioning with her head; "Let him lay back, Slim, if he'll go….but not all the way. Need to keep some blood in his head and control the shock he's headed into. And if you would lean his head this way so the blood won't choke him. He's going to pass out right shortly… "

"Yes, Ma'am." Slim's voice was still low and smooth and his face was ashen but his eye rims were red, his jaw tight. He'd never seen Jess come this far apart before and a smack up the side of the head does strange things to people. He could feel his own trembling as well, although hard to separate from Jess' in his chest. He was thrilled beyond words that Maggie was so calm and collected and how she could speak so quietly and smoothly just amazed him.

Jess turned to a puddle of a lost small boy as his voice angled up to a higher octave and he began to slump as his brain finally decided it was still not getting enough oxygen. Enough was enough and it began pulling circuit breakers on his body overriding his consciousness. He began to sink backward onto his back toward the floor and Slim's hold eased him down toward his side. As Jess passed completely out…. he was moaning….and burbling in a plea, "Baby….Cak…ssszz.? come back…?" he wilted out whimpering a cry that sounded like a small boy with a man's voice… "An…ahnie?"

Slim had to turn his head and wipe an escaping tear onto his shoulder and he sniffed. A steady stream of tears was flowing down Sara's face and dropping freely onto her skirt as she cried in silence cradling Jess' left hand and forearm.

Maggie leaned up and grabbed a freshly laundered dish towel off the kitchen island they were all jammed up into and tore off a strip, rolled it quickly, gently felt around the inside of Jess' mouth and then eased the packed roll inside Jess' cheek to catch the blood and put pressure on the cuts. Once set she wiped her hands on her apron and grabbed one of Slim's hands putting it on the outside of Jess' cheek to add pressure. Slim's hand gently complied but it was trembling slightly. Maggie then tore more strips and jammed them in her apron pockets for later changes. At the same time she was watching his breathing begin to ease into a regular pattern and she finally sighed in relief.

"His breathing is levelling out….good." She muttered softly. "One benefit ….of unconsciousness."

"I don't know what she had in that purse, musta been a brick by the way his head snapped back." Slim softly offered while he was cradling Jess' head in his lap. "Can you tell how bad it is?"

Chuck had returned the shotgun to its rack and joined, was leaning over them concerned and watching. He was fighting his own battle of tears seeing Jess back tracking into the fear of the man Chuck had loathed. Slim looked up at Chuck seeing a distraught man torn up inside battling within himself. Even Chuck's jaw was rigid and his eyes were red rimmed and wet.

"You ok, Chuck?"

"I shoulda've done that man in back then and grabbed Jess….worst damn mistake of my life! Dadgummit, Slim you didn't see Jess' eyes change …when she came at him just now. It was night and day. Saw his face do that back in Texas when his pa would lite into him. He was Annie's age then, too."

"I felt it through his back, Chuck. The ugly coming from her face took him straight back to his dad, only this was coming from a woman…you know how Jess treats women." Slim affirmed. "Never seen such outright pure ugly come from inside a person….let alone a female." He was shaking his head and looking back down watching Maggie diagnose Jess.

"Ya, no defense and she blindsided him, too." Chuck mumbled.

Maggie was frowning, still investigating. "Sara would you bring me some ice in a towel, barely wet, please. Big enough for the side of his head, dear. And a small glass of water." She continued wiping the blood mess away from Jess' mouth with her apron trying to clear his air passages of liquid debris and monitoring his breathing relieved that it had become steadier and more regular.

"Yes Mother." She got up, grabbed another of the towels on the island and ran to the icebox.

"Well, it would surely be a concussion of some level, swelling fast has likely affected his optic nerve, might have some hearing problem, too. Poppa, can you send a rider for Dr. Tim….maybe if they can get him to come out here since he knows Jess' medical history? With this head injury I don't want him bounced in a buggy and want a professional on this in case we get fluid trapped in his brain."

"Done, Momma." He stood and immediately left to retrieve a wrangler messenger. "She got your back, Slim. You need the Doc, too?" He called as he headed to the door.

"No, Chuck, she got muscle. I'll be fine." Slim could already feel the goose egg and a bruise but nothing worse and Josie could fix him better than any other human, or Daisy. The woman couldn't have hit a stronger muscle, except maybe a leg. He was more worried about Jess.

Sara arrived back handing her package to Maggie who gently applied it to the side of Jess' head replacing Slim's hand hold. Jess was so far out he didn't move one cell at the cold on his screaming skin. She put Sara's hands where she was holding, took the glass of water and wet down a corner of her apron and did a better job cleaning Jess' face and mouth trying to remove any debris that could choke him.

"He wasn't making much sense, Mother. Why was he trying to find his dad?" Sara looked between Maggie and Slim.

"Slim, can you get him to the bed?" Maggie now heard Sasha still carrying on at the bedroom door and looked down the hall, muttering, "Poor Sasha. I hope she didn't hurt herself."

Jr came running in the door and Slim waved him over.

"Bill's on our fastest horse, Mother, but it'll take him an hour to get to the telegraph office."

"Thank you, Jr. That will be fine." Maggie replied calmly and pointed him to help Slim.

Between them they picked Jess up and carried him into his bedroom as Maggie walked alongside retaking the ice bag. Sara was trailing behind but cut through Jess' "den" and tried to capture Sasha mid-jump against bedroom door as Maggie opened it with the door knob, but missed. The minute Sara got the bedroom door open Sasha tore through it then came back in and jumped on the bed escorting Jess' body onto the bed. She secured a spot between his legs only because there was no room for her closer to his head and she began a steady stream of trembling and whining.

"Dad's went to fetch Josie. I've got to get back to Bessy and Kera….Kera's queasy today and can't hold her head up. Let me know." Jr continued.

"I will."

Jr reluctantly left with a lingering look over his shoulder and shaking his head.

"Mother?" Sara asked again. Maggie looked at Slim.

"Sara, remember those ugly things in his past you asked about last Christmas?" Slim began gently.

"Yes."

"His father was physically and verbally abusive mostly to his mother, just like Mrs. Hollister had experienced. When she turned on Jess just now that triggered the memory of his father attacking him for trying to protect his mother and baby sister, or right now, protecting Annie. I could feel Jess locking up when I put my hand on his back. He's self-appointed to protect women, so this entire Annie event just opened up the whole can of worms in Jess' ugly past. That's why, with the combination, and the whack on the head, he lost track of what and who and when. This is going to be one of those times I told you about remember? He'll need some space to process this."

She nodded her head while lightly blowing her nose in a hanky that had collected tears. "I understand." Her blue eyes were going back and forth between Slim's instructions and love pouring out for Jess in compassion. "Whatever he needs, just let me know." She gathered Sasha into her arms so the pup could be closer and Sasha was whining softly while standing into Sara's hands pressing forward toward her patient and her front paws dancing back and forth, still whining.

"He's going to have to process this in his head, so if he needs space, back up. He's not pushing you away, he just needs to get a handle on it first inside his self. It's like he's concentrating on a bucking horse – that's got to be his focus so he can keep breathing."

Sara nodded at Slim. "Ok."

Maggie looked up at Slim. "Experience is speaking?" She queried knowledgably.

"Ya, I could sense it when we first met and a problem from his past would show up. He'd pull away. It took a few times but it finally got where I could crystalize it into words. He lives things on a deep level."

Maggie was cradling Jess' head with the ice bag on one side, stroking the forelock that had landed completely askew on the other side of his forehead and she was sniffing and needed to wipe her face but she wasn't going to turn loose just yet even when Sara offered. So Sara adjusted the bedding tucking in pillows and smoothing everything out with her free hand. Maggie looked over at Slim who was standing near the head of the bed.

"I …just can't imagine what it was like for his mother, his dear, sweet mother, taking that abuse and helpless to stop a father from throwing his own child into a wall." She looked at Slim with full tears now easily falling off her face. "And then nursing him back to health without the help of a doctor. She was the most kind, gentle person …I…." her voice broke.

Slim stood in close to her and pulled her into his leg and crouched over her in a hug and she wept softly releasing some pressure, her shoulders shaking. Slim put his other hand on the top of her head and kissed it softly.

"Or Jess watching something like that. No wonder they had such a close bond." Sara offered rubbing her mother's arm fighting her own tears seeing her mother lose it.

Josie came running into the room out of breath and politely cupping her wonders in support.

"I JUST KNEW something was wrong! Walking down the hall putting diapers away and almost passed clean out. Then Chuck came over. He thought I should know." She ran to the bed and Slim stood straighter and directed her to give some space. "He gave me the story as we came back over here. I just knew something like this would happen, dadgum it! And he'd be the one getting hurt. Good thing I wasn't here, Id'a …Id'a sure lit into her! Coulda 'xplained a few things." She held up a feisty Harper DNA fist and her face was completely blushed. "Ain't no rules I can't hit a woman!"

"Now here…we've had enough violence. Don't send Jess any empathy anger, ok?" Slim advised drawing her into a side hug and then diffuse her focus some with, "Daisy minding the babies?"

"Ya, they're sleeping right now." Josie settled into a steamy pout and leaned over fingering the swollen face. "How bad is it?"

Somewhere in Jess' body some pain spasm from the injuries kicked him hard and he stretched arching forward and groaned deeply and his eyelids fluttered open briefly but they were not focused and sightless, the right lid was slower and more swollen. Maggie and Josie both cooed to him still lightly stroking his forehead and Sasha whined and started for Jess' face but Sarabeth pulled her back having to take a double hold on the pup who immediately wiggled in protest. Sara cooed to Sasha and kissed the side of her face and Sasha whimpered again.

Dr. Tim arrived by horseback 5 hours later in the middle of the night and came to the same conclusion as Maggie. It was a concussion with swelling on the optic and auditory nerves. The bleeding had stopped and his ear drums were not punctured. He confirmed to Maggie about the nerve over the ear that controls that side of the face and it was no doubt being pressured by swelling. So if he couldn't hear on that side of his head when he woke up the swelling likely was putting pressure against his eardrums too and that they needed to keep the cool as cold as possible compresses working on the swelling as quickly as possible and keep a 48 hour watch and monitor him for shock. His mouth had stopped bleeding but after being checked by Tim it was repacked with another roll of cloth and advised to begin salt water gargles once he was conscious. He was further sentenced to bed with room service and only when assisted could he go to the bathroom, or bring a bucket to his bedside. They didn't want him falling while he was dizzy and with one eye definitely not working his depth perception would be off-kilter as well. If the bleeding from inside his ear started up again, or the bloodshot eye got worse or started to bulge, then they needed to bring him to the hospital pretty daggone quick, otherwise Tim was concerned but not overly worried. The Doc checked his other recovering injuries and Maggie reported the pings Jess had been having in his shoulder joint but they could not find any abscesses. Tim said it was likely a bullet shard making its way to the surface with the arm movements and to watch for an abscess to raise or pus pocket. If she could, sterilize the surface, puncture and drain it. Wire him if there was a problem. He was offered a bed which he declined but he accepted the full country breakfast reaching deep into his childhood memories of growing up on a huge ranch with cowboy food. He enjoyed it immensely and he could pack it away, too, in his 6'4" frame. Reportedly the breakfast of itself being "proper country food" paid for his trip out that far and call him anytime, happy to work for ranch food. He checked on the twins and Josie since he was already there and Kera's queasy wobble due to her inner ear issues then left before noon. Maggie and Chuck were beginning to see that this Dr. seemed to have a special liking for Jess, whom he'd patched back together several times, including the fresh injuries he was currently mending. Sara mentioned that she didn't think it mattered in their relationship but Jess was funneling some of the profits from Lizard 2 into the doctor's new building and paying for the attorney, which Tim had unsuccessfully protested to Jess. But it was also probably why they never got any bills from either Tim or Abby. So, in her mind Maggie added them to her Christmas invitation list for a country dinner.

It was agreed by all the adults that unless Jess directly brought up the topic of Annie Hollister, there would be no referenced to her or the mother. If Jess didn't bring up the topic, they would pack away what was left behind in her bedroom before Jess became mobile again. Sara noted and reported that at least Hooter was wearing all his tack she had knitted so Annie would have something to hold from her experience with them and Maggie noted the piece of shirt she tore from the rag left on Jess' torso would be large enough to be a blanket for the toy. Maggie thought to herself, 'how appropriate, a covering for Annie from over Jess' heart' and no doubt part of Jess' heart had been torn away and left in the little girl's hands.

After groaning and mild movements sometimes half waking up but unfocused, Jess finally woke up nearly 24 hours later by noon the next day. He was extremely dizzy with a horrible headache causing nausea and added to his current pains he couldn't hear with his right ear either. They finally got him to admit his left eye sight was so blurry all he could see was shadows and he could barely hear with the left ear. He could barely speak due to the cuts and swelling inside his mouth and standing was a complete disaster of dizziness. After a very slow trip to the bathroom where he cleaned his self up better and changed clothes, Maggie taught him to flush and gargle salt water and he made it back to the bed. Reaffirming in broken communication and raised voices so he could hear that Annie was gone and that she had not been injured Jess went silent and withdrew from everybody. Nobody…not even Josie could get through. Well, except for Sasha who became glued to him and he was found multiple times hugging her entire body deep into his chest with the left side of his face buried in her fur.

CHAPTER 11: LESSONS FROM THE DARK SIDE-A MOTHER - SON TALK

It was truly like someone had blown out a light inside Jess and he went dark and even refused food barely accepting water, milk or coffee and after the 3rd day he finally took a small amount of broth and soup. Alcohol, even beer stung too much. A large part of the reason was half of the inside of his mouth was cut up from being jammed against his teeth which somehow didn't break. What wasn't cut was swollen. Because the internal swelling above his ear affected the nerves on the right side of his face the right side of his lips were inhibited from closing tightly causing him to have to hold that corner closed in order to swallow without drooling and any movement of his mouth was painful which included speaking. If he coughed, the skin somewhere would crack and break and he'd hock and then spit blood. Sometimes they were blood clots from some injury site clearing up. And after boiling some rags and a couple of good rinses with alcohol, Maggie packed the inside of his cheek trying to pull the skin flat so that it wouldn't heal with ridges where he'd be biting the inside of his mouth when chewing. It was hard to explain that to Jess, but she pulled rank tenderly in a motherly way and managed to keep the pack inside his mouth until the swelling began to reduce. While the swelling reduced some he still couldn't see from the right eye and only blurred shadows from the left, no hearing in his right ear and could only hear some from the left ear. He spoke only when he couldn't avoid it and then his voice was too quiet because he couldn't hear the true volume.

Even though he was told not to leave the bed without help, being typical Jess you either were there when he headed for the bathroom or he went alone hanging onto to the furniture and walls. Generally Sasha would come running into the living area and found humans where she'd tattle (raise a ruckus) and they'd follow her back in time to help Jess back to bed. On the first few days when he'd try for the bathroom his self, he did spin to the floor and Sasha went for help like she'd retrieved Slim on their first visit. Jess never rebuked Sasha knowing she was sensing the problem as why he trusted her so much. And she didn't stand over him fussing. She wouldn't volunteer getting help, but if he waivered or went down, she was off for help immediately or if he'd give her a hand signal, she'd retrieve someone. He barely accepted Maggie or Sara's nursing attendance only because of the dizziness and headache restricting his own care of himself and he shrugged off Sara's guard of his back during the night or naps during the day for that matter. Only Sasha was allowed to cuddle him. The only thing he seemed interested in from normal routine was his promised duty to brush and comb Sara's hair and he still braided it every night. It was a slow braid done mostly by feel and memory, but the braid was tidy and neat when he finished and he would hug her for several minutes before folding into the bed – he'd done that before calling it "dancing in one spot." Sara didn't understand the hug but felt he was trying to communicate something and he was. He was trying to thank her for her care of him sensing her presence was never far away and didn't know a better way. Any attempts for conversation resulted in him turning over in the bed, or away from whomever was talking and he could only lay on his back or the left side. His scruff turned into a short beard mostly because he couldn't see well enough to shave it and refused help barbering. Sara began to write to him using her finger on his palm and he realized that he was not as isolated as he thought. She would offer him a curl of her hair when entering his presence to let him know who was in the room with him and he would sniff and then kiss it. She coached each person to draw the first letter of their name on his hand so he'd know them and instigated codes of the number or finger of 1 for 'yes,' 2 for 'no,' and 3 for 'maybe or I don't know.' Jess caught on fast and would nod or slightly shake his head to answer or acknowledge. Jr taught him a few sign language gestures from what they were learning for Kera such as "please" and "thank you" and of course, "coffee" so he could offer outgoing information since his mouth was not working well. Sara finally began to get him back on food with peanut butter and peach sandwiches he could suck on to melt on the left side of his mouth without much chewing and was rewarded with very light kisses, more of a peck as she understood that kissing with a torn up mouth was painful. Otherwise she gave him the quiet space he seemed to want. She'd just knit sitting somewhere close or slept on top the covers but not cuddled up to him in case he needed something in the night.

Slim, Josie, Daisy and Mike all kept a rotating visit to check on him, each of them at least once a day but mostly found him sleeping and no real news from the Wentworths. Slim also withdrew quite a lot and became very quiet even backing away from the heaviest workings of the ranch letting his foreman run it. All three ranches seemed to go quiet and very somber matching Jess' withdrawal and a lot of them were praying that the whack on the head wouldn't cause permanent damage for Jess. It became obvious very quickly how much Jess' energy for life seemed to fuel the vitality of the ranches.

After the first week in bed mostly curled up and sleeping Jess gradually started sitting in the bedroom's bay window either soaking up the sunlight on his left side or snoozing slouched in the overstuffed chair with Sasha nearby or curled in his lap and by the end of the week he was back to gimping on another cane Maggie pulled from her ranch medic supply closet and joining the dinner table. He didn't go anywhere fast or talk, couldn't see or hear much but he would just hunch over his plate and gingerly eat soft food very slowly with a sore mouth eating small amounts on the left side or letting it dissolve while pinching the right side of his lips together. The only thing he said was he didn't want any one waiting on him. Then he either went to the sofa and took a nap or went to bed after braiding Sara's hair. The swelling began reducing, the mouth pack came out and the dizziness faded except for quick moves or sudden turns much like after giving blood. Maggie had him gargling salt water as often as she could but he didn't like the taste and balked most of the time. By the third week he'd made it outside and with a guide of either Sara, Maggie or Slim he'd slowly arrive where he wanted to go. He'd make it to Bolero's day play pen arena and would spend hours either just sitting inside the fence on the dirt in the pen with him or brushing him or Traveler tending their grooming feeling by hand. He had to be careful sitting on the ground near Traveler who sensed something was wrong and more than once tried to curl down almost in Jess' lap. Jess would visit the new foals and mess with them just handling them all over getting them familiar with human touch anywhere the human wanted or might eventually need. Sara pretty much left him by his self when he'd go out to the animals figuring he received peace being with them but Slim would see him and just go stand nearby hovering in protection mode or sit shoulder to shoulder on the ground. Josie had to stay away from him because whenever she got physically close she'd start crying and he feel her emotion and walk away shaking his head and covering his ears with both hands even though he couldn't hear. So she just quit so his empathy wouldn't be disturbed, too. Instead, she pestered anyone who'd been with Jess as to his progress. One time Slim saw Jess sitting in Bolero's playpen and sent Mike out with two fishing poles and the can of worms. He told Mike to just walk up to Jess and let him feel the fishing rod and can trying to get him to go toward the river out in the pasture. It was about a half mile walk. Sure enough, Jess pulled his self up the fence to stand and off they went with Mike guiding him and doing loading and unloading the fishing rod. They were gone all afternoon and came back with a bucket load, too and everyone ate fresh fish that evening for supper. Mike said Jess didn't talk but would smile at him and that was fine with him. Everyone talked amongst themselves per usual he just wouldn't join the conversation even if asked a question mostly because of the impaired hearing. If he needed something and absolutely had to talk, it was barely a whisper as though unsure what his volume was and believing he was talking normally. If Maggie, Sara or Josie came in for a hug he would return it warmly, they would smile but he didn't and most of the time it looked like he was sucking on something sour while working on thoughts deep inside. Slim and Chuck received soft handshakes or pats on the back but he didn't linger anywhere near where he could identify shadows of groups of people. Horses and Sasha didn't ask anything of him, so they were his preferred company on the occasions he got cabin fever and had to get out of the house or his bedroom.

By the fourth week his hearing had returned pretty well but he asked people to not talk loudly. He explained having been in near complete silence for a month caused new sensitivity to any sound and his eardrums were still sore at him. As the ears began working again his dizziness seemed to fade as well. His sight from the left eye cleared up on items close by at normal arm length but was still fuzzy at a distance and he reported no progress with the right eye. Nevertheless, the beard did disappear but he was in the bathroom a long time getting that done and he reverted to about a two day routine of scruff. Everyone took positions more to his left where he could see or hear them. The sad thing there was that his right eye was dominant so using the left eye only caused his depth perception to be off and lots of times he'd bump into things.

While Jess was in his "cave" (bedroom) they had cleaned Annie's room and returned it to a guest room and closed the door. Her things everyone had ended up showering her with were boxed and put in their storage area for later disposition and Hooter's hand built stable and corral was tenderly disassembled by Maggie through tears. Jess looked at the closed door and never made a move to even touch the door knob. He just walked past it with all the pain shooting through his face each time. Sara noticed on many times following him that he'd edge to the opposite side of the hall when going past the door and read that the room was much like an open gaping wound under a bandage wrap in his spirit. She also switched bathrooms with him putting his stuff in the first one he'd used and she moved into the one that shared with Annie's room. Jess had snuck into her bathroom a couple times so she felt he'd be more comfortable back in that bathroom plus it was closer for him to get to in his dizziness.

At about the end of the second month on a Saturday morning typically as Chuck and Sara slept late, Jess rose early and took Sasha outside for her chores. His hearing was back up to about 85%, he could see pretty good close up with his left eye, but the right eye was still dark. He shaved then put a robe over his undershirt and jeans and with socked feet flippered into the kitchen following his nose to fresh baked pastries and fresh brewed flavored coffee as he used to meet with Maggie. His eyes, ears and mouth may have been injured, but his nose worked better than usual. He was back to eating soft food with lots of liquids where he could suck or allow the food to dissolve without much chewing. His mouth was softly healed but tender and stiff but he found Maggie's tactic of smoothing the inside of his mouth was paying off. His shoulder was bothering him however and he'd finger it every now and then, a hot bubble had surfaced just past the outside edge of the shoulder joint toward the back but being blind on that side he couldn't see what the problem was. It was too far past front to even get a sight of it in the mirror. Maggie smiled seeing him returning to their regularly scheduled programming and watched him put down fresh food and water for Sasha while petting her head gently and then standing back up slowly while hanging onto and walking up the wall and counter with his hands trying to prevent dizziness. He poured his self a mug of coffee mostly aiming by the feel of fingers on the edge of the cup and filled a saucer with a stack of the fresh, hot pastry and joined her at the bay window table. While he was busy she slipped around the table to sit on his left once he'd land. Slowly bringing his food to the table he put them down and looking around finding she had moved, while leaning on the table for balance aimed carefully for her cheek and gave her a kiss with a near whispered, "Mornin'." He still wasn't sure of his volume.

"Good morning, Son. So nice to have you join me." Her voice was soft as she was busy reading his face but putting her hands softly on his forearm. She smiled that he was shiny clean from shaving which meant to her he was feeling human again. He was striking in a beard, but better clean.

"Haven't been very hospit al…sochial lately. Don't mean to be draggin' everyone down."

His speech was still slurred from the stiff mouth being still sore in some spots or on certain words giving his speech a more rounded sound. On some words he'd still have to physically close the right corner of his mouth to finish the word.

(For my reviewers and fact checkers, a tongue wound is slow to mend, bleeds profusely plus there is a nerve that runs over the ear that controls facial movements. The swelling on that side of his head would press against that nerve and make the right side of his face almost paralyzed in movement including lip closure and taste sensation is numb proportionately across the tongue. Experience speaking.)

"You're grieving, Jess. Our hearts are going through it with you, trying to be there as you need us."

"Don' know what I'm goin' through, 'cept hell. 'Presiate y'all'z help. What do you mean "grievin'"?"

"Your spirit has lost a child, Jess. You saved her life giving her life, twice, then she's ripped out of your heart and gone forever. If you weren't grieving, I'd be more worried. What you're experiencing is very normal. I realize losing Annie was difficult and traumatic, but I'm really proud of how you handled things."

Jess was easing a small bite into his mouth and quickly washing it down with a sip of coffee to moisturize it. Then with furrowed eyebrows and a soft head shake, "I must not been too shmart end up all splattered on the floor like 'at AND losze her, too. Just…!" he laid a fist softly on the table, "….somethin' wasn't right with the ma but I couldn't pull it in. I guess seeing my pa's ugly coming off her messed me up." That was punctuated by a soft slurp.

"You were operating under severe handicaps, Jess, multiple ones but your instincts were true. I felt it too….about Mrs. Hollister."

Jess looked in her face, eyebrows arched and blinked a few times in relief. But unused to deeming his self less than capable Maggie's remark both intrigued him and stung a tiny bit. "What handicapszz.?" "S"s and "z's" still snuck out the right corner of his mouth and he'd have to catch slurps. "What'd I do wrong?"

"Oh, son, you were in the right. It was her in the wrong but with legal rights. It was her handling of the matter threw one handicap at you after another. Where do I start?" That brought a frown from Jess, more than 1? She continued gently and counting them on her fingers as she spoke. "Let's see. First off, you were a male and second, a confrontational one and I'm pretty well convinced she was finished dealing with those critters. Had you been a female, she'd likely have been softer. So from her problems with the husband, you were automatically her enemy and a threat to herself and Annie… even had you been a wimpy male. Didn't matter the topic."

Jess nodded lightly in agreement but that was a new thought.

"Next, she was being challenged in her poor management of motherhood, and in front of a group of strangers, and she knew she was guilty. That's a three-fold arsenal putting her on the offense. Her unwillingness to listen to the truth was your greatest handicap. Unless a person has reached that point, any argument is handicapped and nigh on to failing. It wasn't just you, she wouldn't listen to Poppa, me or Slim, either."

Jess nodded with that one, too. "Ya I can see those pretty good last few dayz rolling this around in my head. Nobody likes getting caught wrong, but… there was szomething wrong by how Annie responded to her ma. That one really held me up. I realize she had legal right and morally was Annie's blood parent but things Annie had said to me then running and hiding when the mother showed up. When she came running into the room and hid between my…um….she came hard and fast and her grip, dadgum, put her on the end of a lasso she'd have a shteer down like nothing. Was glad I had clothes on or her nails woulda been peeling skin and wow was she leanin' hard! That one got me and I had to slow this train way down. I know one thing about kidz and that'sz their heart don't lie…the younger they are, the more honest 'cuz they haven't learned how to mani..(slurp) palate the truth yet, or lie. I seen my ma handle some of the kidz in church or just ones I played with and she could read the ones who were bullies just like that." he snapped his fingers. "Was remembering last few days, you know Annie never once asckted anyone about her ma?! I can understand that about an abusive pa, but… never asked if she was alive, where was she, was she ok? She never raised a fuss over leaving the last known place where her ma was, either." Jess' face was screwed up in disconcert as he looked at Maggie. "If their relationship was ok, why wouldn't she even ask? Espeschally at her age and on her own in a huge, strange world?" He shook his head studying the last sips at the bottom of his mug. "Wasn't addin' up. It smelt like the ma …you know.. …was in on the abuse… somehow…I… just couldn't get the factks, or proof."

"Other than the way Annie was acting. Yes, I saw that, too."

"You did?" a wave of relief crossed his face again and he sighed softly.

"Yes, and you are correct. I was pretty sure that's what began to hold you up releasing her and was relieved you did. Annie put her back to her mother and tucked her face tightly into your body. Even with her history of abuse from her father, she still went right to your…um…." she smiled and copied Jess waving at his lap. Jess was leaning forward toward the table but raised his hand from the edge and glanced into his lap, lightly shook his head and pulled up his chin and put his hand back on the table. Maggie watched him but continued, "Annie went to the place she felt the most secure, and that's not typically the location on a man's body where a female child with her history would choose. Children not only are more honest, son, they have an inner gauge to perceive truth before their brains become educated. It's a gift from God that helps babes survive life. She had perceived the truth of your security and her safest location. Coming from a child, Jess, that's a huge compliment to you."

Jess blushed with a half-cocked smile of embarrassment and a side head nod. He didn't look up from his mug. That's just how his ma had raised him….'s all and with his thumb he stroked the lip of the cup. Even small women needed honor.

Maggie continued, "Annie put her back to her mother either as a protective barrier or to preserve her brain and heart, probably both. She was entrusting her brain and heart to you and the strength of her grasp only indicates the level of fear in her heart. Those are life-preservation moves. And she was too young to pre-meditate that move, Jess. You were perceiving it accurately. Here's the handicap you had."

Jess looked up into her face eager to learn.

"You were handicapped by your own inexperience as a parent because you're still a bachelor. You remember, like what Annie did when she first saw all your stickers and burbled up. With the mother event, you didn't have the knowledge to comprehend exactly what the child was saying, plus what to do next. You knew she was saying something, just not the what. That's when you froze. But that handicap is NOT a fault of yours. It's simply a piece of education that is yet to come in your life. So don't internalize that. You simply didn't have the tool in your toolbox from which to work. You couldn't move to solve because of ignorance, but you had enough accurate instinct to hold or stand your ground. The mother simply flew into action before Poppa or I could poke in with our experience. Your instincts were right on target, and you can't be accountable for something you've not taken possession of by educational experience. I can guarantee you one thing."

"What?"

"That won't happen to you twice. You've got the experience now." She smiled softly, "..and the responsibility for that knowledge in your future."

"Ya….you got that right. Woulda killed me anyone else got hurt because of me. Since you two have the experience, what would you or Chuck have done differently?"

Maggie dropped her head slightly sideways while thinking for a moment. "Well, that could be an interesting answer. Chuck would know more of the legal avenues and I'm afraid my answer would be more driven from my heart as a mother. You were on the floor by the time I got back to the kitchen with the rifle, so you didn't see my answer." She looked sheepishly at Jess and he raised his eyebrows in surprise.

Jess nodded slightly, "I like that answer." He wouldn't hit a woman, but drawing a gun on one was a possibility…..not that he'd pull the trigger or nothin'.

She nodded again to the side, "Chuck's always said 'possession is 9/10th of the law' so perhaps the answer would have been to force her to court where the truth would have been forced out of her."

Jess gently did a half side-nod with the top of his head. He liked that tact, too.

Maggie continued. "But you also have to consider the cost on the child and what drawing things out would have done to her tender heart." She looked softly at Jess as he drew his chin up like a drawbridge unable to deny her truth.

"Just worry about Annie, is all. She so young, all alone with no guide. She's intelligent, Mom, caught everything I tried to show her first try and got it right, remembered it and obeyed. Dadgummit, she needs someone in her corral. Such potential and huge heart, shoulda szeen her out there that day playing with the foals. Pure joy, giggling her heart out. Said she never knew horsezz had babies. Her feet barely touched the ground, pro'bly never played before in her life 'fore she got here. Kidz are such a ….wide open… well, kinda like the wide open. Out there the whole world to explore and discover, learn and do. To live. Just need someone to watch the road and make the way for them." Jess' eyes got fluid and he blinked quickly and swiped his nose to cover it up.

"You did everything right that was put into your management with the time you were given, Jess. You can't live on what-if's and future wishes. You have to let go. If or when Annie or another child comes into your life, then you are responsible again and can do what's right. Until then, you go on and take the next challenge and next lesson life throws at you."

"I knew you had something for me, believve me I needed it and knew I was suppozed to pick myshelf up and come to you to get it. 'At's why I'm here." He nodded to his self. "I needed to hear these things. Sure has helped."

"And to be fully outright too, I do feel like I have something to give you, and that wasn't it, or all of it. Not sure what, but I know we can figure it out together." Her voice was so soothing and assured Jess relaxed in the chair at her confirmation and fiddled with the cup handle and then reached for another bite of pastry. After chewing it gently and swallowing,

"Not sure what neither, just know however messy the last weekszz have been I need to be here now. Like someone calling me to come here. Woke up this morning looking for the voice. Was like when I had to go back 'n see the bottom of the embankment where the buckboard landed…and we found the oil."

"Is there something more that's been on your mind or memory going around and around?" Maggie was fishing for a clue knowing they weren't finished but not the topic.

"Ya. It's been nagging me when Jose came back off the …. and arrived here after the barn fire. Her and I were talking, she was kneeling had captured my legs and I knew something was going on with you. Could feel it behind me, just couldn't shee you and was so busy trying to help calm her down I couldn't pin point what was going on with you, but something was. Pretty sure it was good, just can't figure how that fits here."

Maggie's eyes instantly began watering knowing exactly where they were going and Jess squinted at her and turned more fully to see her face checking out the tears and his eyebrows arched in the middle, his voice cracking. The more uptight he'd get the worse his diction became.

"Not shupposed to be bad and make you cry. We'll shtop right …" he fidgeted in his chair, "... can't handle anymore sad.. espechially you. Would kill me to hurt you." Then suddenly worried, "Have I hurt you?" He moved his head so he could get the best angle to check out her face for accuracy and started to stand up.

She cut him off softly capturing and then rubbing his forearm. "Happy tears, Jess. I know now why we're here."

"'At's good 'cause I'm lost and can't find any trackkz." He eased back down onto his bum.

She refilled his and her coffee cups from a serving pitcher on the table and doctored them with the appropriate sugar and cream she knew he took and peered at him, "You ready?"

"I'm ready, Mom. Teacsh me." She placed her hand softly on his hand holding the cup.

"I need to take you with me back to Texas when you were a little boy with your momma during the time I still lived there."

"Ok. Don't remember before I was about 5 but.."

"Shhh…let me talk."

"Yesz, Ma'am." He mumbled and gingerly took another small bite of pastry. Maggie watched him ease the food into his mouth with her mouth copying his. He got the piece inside his mouth and she continued.

"When you were busy helping calm Josie the morning she arrived here I was reminded of the times back in Texas from when you were born up until when Poppa moved us away. I watched your Ma, let me just call her Sarah for now… Every mother has a separate, distinctive and special connection to each child. Not one any better than another child, each child is separate and equally special. But some children have a deeper inner connection or compatibility with one or the other parent. Certain of their children and others take a little more patience and work because no two children think or respond identically. Some are physically prone, others are more mental, and others are accident prone, others rarely get a scratch even when they do fall over. Jr was Chuck's shadow the minute he came out, Sarabeth was mine. Poor Jerry was a mix of both of us and he seemed lost most of the time… lost in books. Took after my pa that way."

"I can shee that." Then he chuckled at his words still half blind and waved his hand ambiguously toward the right side of his face.

"Sarah had a special connection with you that was not there in your siblings. Not more or less, just special. I saw it from the time you were born to the day we moved away. She connected in a way as though you were an extension of her. Say she was a piece of fabric and you were a corner of that same fabric. Not so much a mixture of her and your pa, mostly from her fabric, although you seem to have ended up with his temper. It never took much from her to get through to you what she was trying to accomplish with you. You got it faster, responded stronger, there wasn't the argument or challenge she got from your siblings."

"Ya, I noticed 'at more the older I got. I had odd shiblings." Jess aimed another bite of pastry in his mouth and gingerly chewed keeping all the food on the left side of his mouth and enjoying tasting flavors again. He still had to guard the right side of his mouth being stiff and numb would sometimes dribble and not close tightly and he'd slurp or hold the corner with the tip of his finger.

"There were a couple other things I noticed then, but I didn't understand until I saw you working with Josie that morning and then it became crystal clear understanding what I'd witnessed back then."

Jess stopped chewing for a moment and blinked at her a couple times.

"Sarah had … she seemed to sense things ahead of when they happened. Not specific details, just a general ….well, like a certain aroma in the breeze knowing a storm is coming. You know?"

"Or shmelling apple pie milez upwind knowing Daisy's pullin' one from the oven?"

"Yes, only hers was advance knowing, like knowing Daisy's gunna bake a pie two days ahead. I realized when watching you and Josie that what I had seen between you and your ma was because Sarah had that sense ability of knowing ahead and she seemed to be pouring herself into you even as a toddler as much of herself as she could. She was teaching you character and perseverance ahead of your ability at that early an age. You were bright for your age, but she was pushing even ahead of normal toddler learning curves."

"She did seem to alwayz be pushin' me." Jess' interest was peaked, he stopped chewing and his eyebrow went up.

"I saw it then but didn't understand it at the time. But when I saw you and Josie that morning, it all came together. I could see one of the things she must have sensed was she knew she wouldn't live long enough to be there for you in your older years, so she was trying to advance your education as fast as you could take it in. She wanted to get enough of herself in you to help you through life when she wouldn't be there to do it in person." Maggie had tears brimming and tilted her head hoping Jess would understand her use of English trying to explain something difficult to describe.

Jess' eyes also brimmed in tears because it hit the bells inside him now understanding things she did back then he had long wondered about. "So that's why…." His voice drifted off. "Lovebd her more than my own life but alwayz thought she was pushin', pushin'…..but becauze I waz too dumb like my pa kept harpin'."

Maggie nodded. "You were far from dumb or stupid, or even slow, Sweetheart. Poppa even noticed that."

Jess' eyebrows furrowed in a peak and he pursed his lips. He put the coffee cup softly back in its saucer, sniffed and as he blinked wiped the tear escaping down his cheek but again brushing his nose like it was itching to cover up his move. After several moments he continued. Maggie gave him some moments to churn things over.

"It wasn't me, then bein' slow." He was studying the inside of his coffee mug again and the more he talked and the heat from the coffee his mouth limbered up with the use. "When lawyer told me about Josie and being a twin, I knew inside myshelf someone had been there all my life but I'd just (slurp) never met her. Then he'd confirmed it. I even felt her the minute I laid eyes on her weeks before that when we… the stagecoach attack. I didn't even know her name yet…" he looked at Maggie, "…minute laid eyes on her felt she was a part of me. Then I was told she died and had caved in inside me, but couldn't let go inside finding later she had been cured by my blood transhfusion – coming back to life. Lawyer had askted for Ma's address and I just automatically told him 'heaven'. Where she went when she died never crossed my mind so that just popped outta nowherez. I guess from heaven she'd had to have found out Josie had lived and where, maybe even directed us meeting back up sending Josie to Utah for medical help. I felt it was her sending me back down that embankment where we found the oil pool…she'd made me hide a oil pool when I was a kid in Texcus afraid pa would.. . Finding you guys and the peach jelly nailing that down – her recipe." He sniffed again rubbing his nose and pulled up, then frowning continued. "All these bits and piecus….. just dropping into place." He took another swig of coffee holding the right side of his lips closed so as not to drool then continued.

"Never told nobody this, so this is between just us. My pa always chewed me up because I looked too much like ma and any boy kid who had blue eyes and curly hair was too girly and just not his kid. "Not man enough" he said. Ma had overheard it several times, later setting me down and telling me she was proud of how I looked because it took a stronger man to have blue eyes and wavy hair and be a man than one with brown eyes and straight hair. I should be proud of being the better man." Jess looked at Maggie. "I was just 7 years old- scrawny kid …. Annie's age…. the wind would blow over an' her telling me a man is measured by his morals and his character, by how he honors truth and treats people, never gives up and finishes what he starts. It's not by the color of eyes and hair… in her eyes I was a better man than my pa…and be proud of myself. She had to know ahead. But here's where that fits. During the war fighting as a Reb I was hit by an explosion. Woke up in a Union hospital ward, was a tent really beds packed side by side you could feel the next guy breathin', full of men screaming in pain, stunk of human waste and old blood. Couldn't remember who I was for weeks. They transferred me from the hoszpital ward to a Union POW camp run by a guy name Hallette and he began picking on me, you'll never guess why."

"Why?" Maggie knew but wanted Jess to speak it.

"I was "too pretty" to be a good soldier. Blue eyes and wavy hair was nothing but a southern mis-dressed female not even bright enough to remember my name. He was trying to get me to give up Reb movements and methods and I didn't so he was badgering me. Wouldn't have gave it up but really couldn't remember them neither. He did that with several of my friends, too, and we made a pact to get back at him after the war. He chewed on me for days and I finally had enough and attackted him. Got throw'd into solitary confinement, which is what I wanted, to be alone so's I could heal. They seemed to forget me, watery soup, dark and sleepin' on the ground was like back home, his words repeating my pa's going over in my head. Laying in that black hole I argued with myshelf about how a man looks don't matter, it's a man's character, his morals makes him who he is, not what he looks like. I laid there piecing those words back together and then I remembered it had been Ma telling me that stuff. Was like following tracks in the mud and I remembered everything…like a door opened and light came in again." Jess lightly shook his head side to side, "I remembered my name." Then looking deep into the coffee cup. "She knew back when I was 7 I needed that… root… and it brought me back to life in the POW camp." He stopped in silence for a few moments. "I never understood that until now. Or these other events." Jess put his left hand covering his mouth in wonderment.

Maggie patted his right hand sitting on the coffee cup and he lightly captured one of her fingers with his thumb. Then she continued, "When Josie arrived here it wasn't until I saw her at your knees and coming into contact with your body is when she calmed down just as sure as a mother putting her baby to her breast and feeding her. That's when I saw your mother had put herself inside you so you and her could walk together and you could help finish her life through your own. That's what I felt standing behind you. I felt energy like she'd physically walked into the room that morning and was explaining it to me and…." Maggie choked up in memory of the moment, "…was just as real to me had it been her sitting in that chair holding Josie to her breast calming her.. only… she was doing it through you. Then your empathy with Josie's morning sickness, her pregnancy, the blood transfusion at birth – are all a part of what a mother goes through in giving life to a part of herself bringing a human into this earth. There you were, or there she was, there you both were – busy helping Josie bring her babies, a part of herself, into this earth. It wasn't just Jess giving blood to his twin, it was Jess and his ma, Sarah knowing what to do because she'd been through a twin birth and she had lost the twin girl. But between her and you in that hospital room, you just went right in knowing your blood was needed so that Jessie could live. That's something your Ma would only know from heaven having found out where Josie had disappeared at birth." Maggie shook her head looking Jess in the eyes…. "She told me she never had morning sickness with your older siblings, just you. She said she just knew she was carrying twins, she told me after I just met you and first got to see her after you were born. She had been so positive she'd carried twins and didn't understand why it was only you. She was thrilled with you but that part always bothered her. It literally haunted her. Now we know she was accurate but miss led… and we understand." Maggie was near losing it to tears. "I…have so much awe of your Ma….I have had everything in life and she had nothing…yet she was so loving and caring…giving even the meager she had to others."

Jess slid off his chair onto his knees and pushed between Maggie's knees wrapping his arms around her waist and hugged her trying to encourage her but he was leaking tears, too. Maggie grabbed hold of him and kissed his head stroking his back.

"I'm glad she had you as a pard…" Jess cooed softly in encouragement to Maggie. Chuck had Elroy for a lifetime, he had Slim, Maggie was such a rock of foundation holding everyone's life together but she'd been torn away from his ma who had been her pard…and had stood alone all these decades. "You both shared one thing in common was having to stand strong alone for years… takes grit, Mom. No wonder why she loved you so deep."

"That's how you knew what to say to me on that first visit both in the bedroom, and then on the goodbye kiss when you left. Jess you said things exactly the way she talked and would have said to me had she physically been in the room. I'd been so torn up all those years having left her behind but what you said, I've never been the same since then, such a deep peace…same peace she always seemed to have down inside her. You know why?"

She lifted his head and looked him straight in the face. He shook his head no almost dripping tears from the side of his eyes.

"Because you were fulfilling what she had begun in you. Like what your momma did with you, it is the purpose of our life and time on this planet to produce life and embed everything we have into that new life to follow us in the world, to carry forward all the wisdom from our hard experiences so that they can produce another, better life after them. You don't give up freedom when you marry and start a family, Jess, you fulfill your purpose. You gain the next chapter where all your pain and experiences and wisdom you've paid a high cost to achieve can be passed on to the next generation. So some part of yourself generates a smarter, healthier you. You just experienced that with Annie. You were trying to give her something better than she had, to take away her pain and abuse you both knew and give her happiness and security you'd found; to provide sustenance so she could eat and have clothes to wear. You helped her realize one of her first dreams, riding a live horse. She'll remember that day her whole life. Even the way you fed Annie off your plate that first evening is how your momma taught you to eat with a fork… but you'll never remember that moment. It just became a part of her through you that went into Annie. Those are all things we do for that part of ourselves that we generate into a new human life growing up behind us."

"That's why I've been grieving." Jess sat back onto his heels with his hands on Maggie's knees and she placed her hands gently on top of his. He shook his head slightly just at that moment remembering how his ma had always drawn him between her legs to teach him the really important things, they'd hug and cry or just hold each other, then he'd back up to her knees and his ma would nail it down what he'd learned….and it just happened now only with Maggie.

"That's why you've been grieving. Because she was ripped away and you had no control of it as sure as we have no control of a death. Whether or not your brain understands or will acknowledge it, Jess, your spirit wants to be, has been groomed to become a father someday which is a man's natural goal. As a man it's what your purpose in life is because without the man's part a woman's egg just dies. Knowing she'd birthed a boy who'd grow into manhood's purpose Sarah poured everything she had into you so you could be a better father than the one you had. Sure you had no good role model, but you had her and she knew what a good father needs to be by rights of the opposite she got stuck with. Everything that's been poured into you will be what you pour into your body's new receptacle just like what you were doing with Annie. It's what we are all built to be. To procreate, to generate our replacements so life can improve and go forward. Otherwise, we stagnate and die and there is no more human life on the planet. Only humans have the choice to create life. All other life forms don't – it's instinct to them. But by having that choice, we also dream of future things, learn to build houses, grow crops and animals that feed and nourish, we write and build and use tools. We are the only life form that learns to educate itself beyond mere survival. That happens only because we've learned those things from adults before us…and we improve it with every generation."

Jess looked up briefly into her face and she could see a dramatic change into peacefulness inside his blue eyes she'd never seen before. It reminded her of Sarah's eyes but she didn't tell him. He was full enough. She could also see that prior to her death his ma had never had the chance to explain this part of life's purpose, the going forward into adulthood's purposes and enrichment of who he was born to be. He'd been left hanging at the point she departed when he was 15 and full of freewheeling blooming male hormones believing bachelorhood was his end goal because that's all she'd been allotted by time to have developed in him. It would also explain why marriage was so scary for him as the unknown, even the dread that deep inside his self he feared by entering marriage and fatherhood he'd repeat his pa's poor performance as a husband and father, or worse yet, become his pa. His pa's example certainly failed to encourage any part of that kind of life.

"'At explains the dream I had…and why it was so real."

"What dream?"

"When I was unconscious after I was injured saving Josie in the stage attack before knowing we were twins I had a dream about being in a watery bag with a little girl hanging on my heel and we were playing. It was such a real dream I thought I was living it awake. When I woke up didn't know if it was future or explaining why I'd felt so close to Josie was because she was my twin and that the dream was confirming that. I just knew the little girl in the dream was a part of me, my body and it made me so happy… delirious happy and the peace….never ever felt that much peace inside me before. But the dream quit before I could get the answers as to exactly who she was. Then I found out Josie was real, and I knew she was carrying twins and one was a tiny girl, even that both of them would need me through that rope thing that attached us together. It just makes sense now."

She took his face between her hands and kissed his forehead. "You talk about the blood you've given them. Did you know that "rope thing" inside the womb is literally how the blood of the mother flows into the baby feeding the baby and breathing for it while inside her?"

Jess' eyebrows furrowed receiving the new tidbit of knowledge then he reached up and returned the kiss to the side of her lips – his spot then backed onto his heels. He couldn't speak knowing if he tried he bust out into tears. But he was thinking 'you can't argue with truth.' That's why that dream had been so real. When truth is the truth, it just dovetails perfectly. What she was telling him, his blood was the lasso thing in the dream, just as his ma had done when he was inside her stirring things up.

As she slid her hands down his arms she brushed across the hot bump on the back edge of his right shoulder and he winced very hard dropping back to one knee down and sucking air in between his teeth.

"Oh…I um….wanted you to look at shumthing this morning. Actually thought it might be why I needed to get with you."

"Your shoulder still bothering you?"

"Somethin's wrong and I can't see that way. That ping has gotten worsze, it's extremely hot on fire and I want to squeeze the life out of it, but I'm not sure because it hurts too much to even touch it. Normally I can do you know, minor things on myself, but I ….this one's too hot and not seein' – don't want to make matters worse. So tired of being ….bent up…"

"Pull your shirt, Jess, let me get my medic bag, some towels and tinctures. Dr. Tim said you might have some shards work their way to the surface. Feels hot like an abscess."

Jess pushed back sitting sideways into his chair and pulled his shirt off propping his arm on the back of the chair to brace it. Maggie was back within the minute and saw the abscess complete with a blooming pus pocket just ripe to drain and began digging in her bag and spreading things on the table. She grimaced at the sight of it knowing he'd be in pain.

"Doc said what?"

She wiped it down generously with alcohol then her pain sedative recipe and waited for it to take effect.

"He said since the bullets had broken apart inside in the muscles and ligaments, that as you began moving it again, those shards he couldn't find or reach initially would work their way to the surface and need to be lanced and removed as they came up. He's been repeatedly concerned because he couldn't account for a full two bullets in the shards he did remove. So this is quite expected, but it will hurt." She pinched the skin to the side of the abscess and didn't get even a blink from Jess so she knew the anesthetic had grabbed hold.

"Well, if this mornin' says anything, its hurt and lancing old wounds and scars seems to be a part of those purposes in my life, doesn't it?" Jess looked at her with a Jess-smile.

"You're just all boy, that's all, Jess. All boy. Now, wiggle your toes."

Jess looked down at his feet wondering why but wiggled his toes and frowned asking, "Why?.. EYE YA YI!" he jumped sitting in the chair as she lanced it with one hand and caught it in a rag in the other hand. "Oh….dadgum!" Jess yelped an octave higher than his normal tone and tried to be a tough cowboy. Sasha raised her head from her post breakfast nap on the floor rug and "woofed" quietly. It was a good thing she had the foresight to have the rag because it was under pressure and spurted. The lance didn't hurt by pain but by the relief of hard pressure against irritated skin tissues.

"How far you diggin'?" His voice was still elevated as he still couldn't see on that side and squirmed.

"Barely touched it, Son. But it's packed and starting a good fester. No wonder why it hurts. I put money on a bet you'd have a fever by tonight. Let me get it drained good.. hold still. Put the spoon in your mouth if you have to. Almost done."

" 's'not pain… is pressure …. Feels better already." He muttered.

She did barely put knife pressure on it and it had popped on its own, loaded with pus and with maintained pressure from the bottom of the pocket a hoard of goo came out and two large pieces of bullet fragments which she captured in the cloth. Expertly with one hand monitoring the hole, with the other one she was spreading through the gunk with her scalpel at the other end of the cloth propped higher up on his shoulder inspecting the cause in case she needed to go back in.

"Got them. There were two pieces, Jess. No wonder it puckered. Apparently your body doesn't like alien particles and was rejecting the metal. I've read that happens. I need to open the pocket and debride it. Can you make it to the sink?"

"Yes, Ma'am. I can get anywhere you tell me. Yuck! Hate being sick." He stood and she handed the cloth covering the hole into his hand and placed his hand where he needed to hold it. He obediently covered the hole and followed her to the sink like a puppy where she pulled the hole open and fully doused it in alcohol as he leaned over it. It stung hard against the raw irritation deeper inside and he danced in place whilst gritting his teeth and wincing.

"How big a canyon is it? Feels like my whole shoulder is laid open." He smiled at her. "Do I need stickers?"

"No… nothing close to a canyon and no bones in sight." She grinned at him. "The whole pocket is just about an inch and half, maybe the size of a small hen's egg. Those were large pieces of metal and that pocket was over an inch deep and packed full. I'm surprised he didn't find them."

"Where's the sugar?"

"What do you want sugar for?" She let him drip into the sink and retrieved the sugar bowl.

"I ain't going through that again. Here, pour." He held his left hand out cupped and she hesitated but poured.

"How much?"

"Palm full." She moved his palm over the sink trying to keep her clean floor clean and then filled his palm.

He immediately began packing the hole with the sugar wincing and sucking air in his teeth but pushed the sugar in as best he could feel. Maggie leaned over the sink and helped pull the hole open and direct his palm more centered to the hole.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting rid of the putrid with the old wounds so's it will heal up shmarter. 'is drains the pocket of sin." He smiled with a twinkle in his eye.

She thought at first he was speaking literally, and it was literal, but then he winked at her whilst holding his sugar filled hole. He meant both literal and figuratively as to what they'd just shared.

"Sometimes ya hafta go deep to get past all the scar tissue. 'Is shoulder's caught more scrap metal and scar tissue than a junk yard." He admitted. "Use sugar on horse wounds, drains 'em clean out so they don't infect, and sucks the life outta proud flesh."

She looked coyly up at him batting her eyelids and he saw it and cocked his mouth to the left, "What?"

"Suppose they're shooting at what's aimed at them first?" She pointed to his arm as though aiming a gun at him.

Jess gave her a half side nod, "Well, ya…reckon so…done my share of jumpin' into fights. Maybe more'n my share." Then justifying himself, "But some of 'em hit me first or from behind, though, like this one."

She smiled and put her hand over his heart, "How about this place, too?"

"Ya, it'll take its share of sugar, but we'll get 'er cleaned out and whole again….Mom."

"Let's see. I can't see anything happening." She tugged lightly at his left hand. "Do you need me to pack more in there?"

"Ok, but you asked." He removed his hand and the wound was pumping out more crap and ooze mixed with blood.

"When do you know it's done?" She asked trying to learn about his 'medical procedure.'

"Starts coming out clear, we're done. Then you can mop it with the alcohol and tidy me up. Old Vaquero cure." He smiled at her curiosity.

The wound quickly cleaned itself up, was slightly swollen and irritated but the hole underneath was sweetly soft and at least half of the redden irritation was gone having been bled.

(work done by sugar acts like a suction to drain impurities from within the cells of the cavity walls – more than just the emptied cavity. For my reviewers, yes this is a well-known old horseman cure taught to me by a very elderly farrier who had the bluest sky colored eyes. My sister's yearling had wrapped her back leg up in barbed wire down to the bone. It's a miracle work on proud flesh and we discovered later this treatment was used by nurses on bed sores).

"Maybe I should put two stickers in it. Keep the dirt out." She offered as she rinsed it thoroughly with alcohol and Jess danced in place some more then crossed his legs leaning against the sink because it stung.

"You're the Doc. The way you did my flank with the barn fire is the dadgum prettiest shcar I got!" he announced proudly.

"You proud of your scars?" Maggie was intrigued.

"Well, ya! Got a whole collection of 'em." He was shaking his head 'no' at the same time then smiled and winked at her. Of course he was proud of them (he's a guy). Life stripes.

She smiled and plopped the towel over the hole drying it softly and pointed to his chair and he quickly complied grabbing a swig of cold coffee as he sat down. Since the laceration had been dabbed with her pain numbing ointment she quickly stitched several sutures inside the hole and then closed with three sutures and then wrapped the shoulder in a figure 8 gauze wrapping.

"Were you in the POW camp long?" Maggie asked as she worked on his shoulder.

"Hard to tell when there's no light. New commander arrived and went through everything, cleaned out all the solitary cells and sealed them shut. He took a look and interviewed all the "specialty cases" and seemed to like me for some reason. Threw me in with a couple other hard cases and a kid was barely fifteen who latched onto me. Hallette and the new commander had it out a few times but the new guy won out and gave me a chance to be a scout and dispatch rider for the Union. He shipped me out west to a buddy of his. Is where the war ended for me. Was good at it and liked the freedom, so when the war was over I wandered working from place to place to see what was really out here…up north on the Union side. 'At's how I met Slim and Andy and they taught me what a family is supposed to be. You know the rest."

"There, two stickers inside, three outside. Feel better?" she lightly patted the shoulder. He pointed at it with a cocked head and she thought for a moment, then smiled big and kissed it with an obvious "mommy kiss".

"It'll heal right up, now. Ya, whole ton of weight ….gone. Doc say anything about my vision?" He lightly flexed the shoulder as a test then started to put his shirt back on and Maggie assisted.

"He was concerned only if you began bleeding from your ear again, which you didn't. Your hearing and sight is coming back. Takes time for the brain to heal. Be patient with yourself, you've come a long way, Jess. Proud of you." She hugged him from behind facing forward with him cheek to cheek while he was seated and she talked softly into his ear the same way she'd done when he was askew on the floor and bobbing (sorry) like a fish lure on top the water. "Kids don't come with instruction books. You have to learn things with them and because you've been down the road a ways ahead, help them come along from behind. You're doing just fine." He put his other hand on the opposite side of her head and pressed softly securing her head against his cheek in a "head hug."

"So I don't need a fast horse, huh?"

She started packing up her medic bag and Jess helped. Well, he tried. At first he tucked things into her bag but she simply softly unpacked it immediately because it was in the wrong spot. After two tries, he retreated to just holding multiple items and letting her select and they exchanged smiles. She had a way she liked things, alphabetical pantry, clean and organized kitchen, and laundry system…especially medical things since she seemed to be chief of surgery for 3 ranches. It was something HER ma had programed her as a small girl in how to care for her responsibilities in the health and maintenance of her loved ones. Jess was no different with his gear and weapons.

"Fast horse is not freedom, Jess, it's a fear of failure becoming who you're running away from being either as a person, husband or a father. Some are afraid of success and end up homeless. Everyone fights one fear or the other. It's part of the growing up process to learn how to deal with fear. But your experiences are expanding and confidence is growing daily and you proved that with how you handled Annie. Your instincts are true, your momma saw to that. Just trust yourself, you'll know when you're ready."

"I sure understand a whole lot more'n I did when I woke up 'is mornin'." Jess closed the bag and Maggie took his hands in hers facing him and they started swinging hands sideways.

"As it should be. What do you want to do with Annie's left behinds?"

"Somebody you know need them, church folks or sompthin. Some little girl out there needs them."

"I'll take care of it."

"Thanks, Mom." Identical to when they'd hugged when Josie had arrived and he'd stood up knowing she'd felt something, they hugged with the side of Maggie's face over Jess' heart and Jess held on doing a "slow dance" until Maggie got enough and pulled away. He was groaning softly in a deep coo enjoying the feel and closeness of a woman, older respected woman much like his ma would have felt had she lived. Maggie was lovingly and capably filling the hole in his heart and he closed his eyes and gently rested his chin on the top of her piled up hair enjoying the same hair fragrance Sara used. It was several minutes and she sniffed while patting his low back, then as she began to pull away she sweetly planted a 'mommy kiss' over his heart as she turned loose. As she turned to pick up her medic bag Jess' chin went up, then drawn in like a drawbridge, he frowned lightly and batted tears away blinking quickly – knowing exactly what she meant.

CHAPTER 12: NEW HEALTHY TISSUE

After Annie's departure Jess had started tossing and turning through the night and startling awake several times waking himself up from nightmares in darkness re-hearing Annie's screams inside his head's memory. From her bedroom Sara could hear him groan and then mumble 'dad gums and dog gones' eventually going to the bathroom then pacing the halls before laying down again, tossing and turning some more, then he'd end up sleeping in until noon. The entire time Jess had slept at the Wentworths, he had never entered Sara's bedroom, generally wouldn't even look into the room. The nightmares seemed to cease after his talk with Maggie and on the fourth night after his talk when Sara went to her room with a fresh braid, 45 minutes after she lowered her lamps for the night Jess appeared in the shadows at her doorway in his under wear dressed for bed. He didn't come in, just stood in the doorway and still not in full vision was looking some other direction. Sara had mostly dozed off to sleep when she heard him clear his throat and it sounded closer than his normal bed distance so she looked up and saw his shadow standing there. She was curious what he wanted and what he would do if she wasn't sitting on his lap puppy-dogging him, so she just watched with her head on the pillow. After a few minutes, without a sound his shadowy image silently disappeared feeling his way across the hall back toward his room.

"Jess?" she called softly. "Do you need something?"

His shadowy form reappeared after 5 seconds – walking time back from his room.

"I won't come in." His voice was a normal tone, not the last month's whisper and it was the deep, low raspy voice. But she didn't notice.

"I don't mind."

"I won't come in." He repeated knowing and respecting her place of privacy.

She knew it was his moral integrity and propriety – everything he'd ever done toward any woman was with the highest regard and respect. She leaned up on her elbow.

"Do you need something…. not asleep yet."

"I didn't want to wake you, it's late and you had a busy day."

She sat up on her hip leaning back on her hand and saw him looking toward the bed but her bed was in shadows and she knew he was still at least half blind, worse in the darkness and was following the sound of her voice.

"I'm over in the bed."

His posture and downward direction of his head didn't change, but he slowly held out his left hand toward the direction of her voice as though offering to help her down off a buggy. It was a silent invitation to come….and allowing his hand into the doorway was as far as he felt comfortable entering her bedroom.

She pulled back the covers, put her slippers and robe on and headed for the door.

"Bring your quilt?"

She reached back and grabbed the one she camped out with on his bed kept folded at the foot of her bed and met him at the door taking his hand finding it, as always, warm, soft and gentle.

"Help me?" He gently pulled her into a soft hug.

"Of course, Jess. I'm ready when you are."

He pulled from the hug taking her hand and as she followed him into his room and got to the foot of the bed he let his hand drift away from hers and he curled into his bed on his left side per usual and then flipped the covers on top the sheet back on her side while Sasha lined up at his tummy. She flipped the quilt across the bed and crawled in on top of his sheet curling to the outside with her back to him per the last month.

"This way. I need unbuckling."

She turned over and began cuddling into his back and settling in the quilts on top themselves and after he settled in she cuddled close. As before, she felt his body arch again at her touch and he groaned into the pillow holding his self in discipline with her full body contact, but as soon as she stopped moving he began to relax and she could feel him start to unbuckle. The fire in the fireplace cracked and popped and the soft glow flickered the shadows on the wall and it was quiet for several minutes. It was the first time since the barn fire he had opened back up to unbuckling and she thought it was because of the renewed nightmares. But he seemed quiet and as she began to drop back off, his deep voice began.

"It was always hardest at night."

"What was, Jess?" her voice was soft, almost melodic.

"He'd come home deep into the night often almost dawn, most the time drunk. Ma said he smelled like alcohol and cheap perfume."

She knew immediately he was finally opening up his inner vault to talk about his childhood and his dad….those puzzle pieces he'd been so reluctant to show. So she slipped her right hand over his ribs and under his elbow and cuddled her hand under his so he would intertwine fingers. And he did pulling their hands close to his heart. She could feel the reverberation of his voice on her hand and through his back onto the front length of her upper body.

"My mother's parents were old and their health was failing. My ma was quite young and they married her off to my pa for money so's they'd have enough to get buried with. He was quite a bit older than her, not very handsome and was abusive verbally and physically, drunk or sober and the walls in the house we lived in was so thin you could hear everything. Even though we lived on a sharecrop farm was pretty sure he got his money someway else 'cause he never worked it. My older brothers were basically just younger versions of my pa and my ma would send my other sister to her cousins in east Texas after she started looking like an older woman. When I was about 7 or 8 he and I got into it when one time he went after my ma this time before he left to go into town. He was hurting her and forcing himself …. I tried interfering to save my ma and he stopped halfway done, came after me and backhanded me to the floor then threw me across the room… stove me up pretty bad. Then after that she miscarried two babies and the last one was born sickly and her health started to … well she bled a lot. My pa and I couldn't be in the same room without something breaking and my ma did everything she knew to keep us apart. If he was passed out drunk and I felt my ma was safe enough I spent a lot of time at a nearby ranch was full of old Vaquero horsemen and tried to learn what I could about being a horse expert and cowboying. I'd just turned 15 when the Bannister gang wiped them all out, burned the house down. My ma shoved me up my climbing tree out the back of the house before they got her and the baby and killed them. I thought for the longest time something was really wrong with me because I was glad he was killed and relieved my mother would no longer be hurt or hungry. But my family, house I'd been born in and everything I'd known, bad as it was, was gone by the time I was 15 and I didn't know anything about how to care for myself. Was scared and mad ended up in a lot of fights, stuff I really didn't need to, all basically trying to survive a life I got dumped in and couldn't understand. My beard came in pretty fast so was able to fudge my age and got into the war on the Reb side but I was an angry soldier and fought stupid. It went worse after I was injured during an explosion and captured, couldn't remember who I was and was put in a Union POW camp. But the bad things there taught me some good things and I began to earn my way some in the Union camp. An officer started training me on some stuff so I earned my way into becoming a scout and dispatch rider. The war didn't last long enough though but it taught me how to kill to survive and provide keep for myself. With the war gone I went out on the big open got into more stupid mistakes headed for more disaster trying to survive based on the angry part of war where the fastest gun lived. I'd learnt surviving on being fierce and gutsy taking what I needed more than earning it, but it kept me fed and I could keep people from getting inside me again. Then Slim's brother Andy nabbed me and after a feisty meeting with Slim, I stuck. Somehow Slim began to read me without pushing and shoving we worked through some issues clearing away crap that was on my back trail chasing me. He opened his home and family to me as a shelter and a place where people wanted me giving me a belonging and I learned for the first time the truth how a real, true family works…changed my whole direction in life. Slim's family not only professed relationship, they lived it as proof. That convinced me what my own family had was not the standard way of it, gave me a whole different outlook as to a way of life could be happy and healthy. People related to each other really took care of each other and not just used them for their own pleasure, like my ma was used. Now we've become brothers and partners." He paused. "Little bit different than your life, Sara, but you've been wanting to know the ugly puzzle pieces of my life. You've put your whole world aside to get into mine for the last, I dunno, year – 18 months and done all kinds of things for me, most without even asking. I've done too little for your world and mostly because I've only had the last 6 or so years with Slim's family so I don't know how to do all that, yet. But for me to ask you to trust me and invest more of yourself into my life…..I need to come clean with you and trust you. A lot of my life I'm not proud of, mostly not wanting to put my pain on you and muddy up the sweet life you've had. Don't want you to believe I'm trying to hide my past and keep secrets, just wanted to protect you from all the pain in my past."

Sara realized Jess had just laid his heart open in trust to her in confidence and it was all on the table at her option to protect it, or betray him and use the information adversely. It was a gift from the deepest part of his heart. She knew quite a bit of it but for him to offer and share meant everything. She squeezed his fingertips and snuggled a hug against his back.

"All that still made you who you are today, so the fabric of who you are is strong and your willingness to learn and to change yourself for what you're shown is a better way speaks highly of you and the character of what's inside you. With everything going against you could just as easily turned into another man like your dad, but you didn't. It's still who you are today that I admire." Her voice was soft but full of esteem.

"I seen too many people die, Sara and you can walk away from a dead body but a piece of your insides dies each time. I saw the same ugly in Annie's mother's eyes I'd seen in my pa and it stunned me coming from a woman who'd experienced the same abuse my ma had. How those two opposite things could come out of one person…. just couldn't sum it. Things Annie didn't do came rushing back into my mind and the whole thing wasn't coming through righteous. Then she came after me just like he did so many times and I froze because she was a woman. Never hit a woman in my life… never had to. I guess my mistake was I had no defense ready and she blindsided me like a sidewinder. I'm not perfect, Sara, never will be. I got a short fuse temper, been in gunfights, but considerin' all the mistakes I made with Annie, I guess I'm still learning. Thought you should know. Haven't got all of life figured out yet…I reckon."

"Well, that's good 'cause I haven't either, so we'll just have to help each other figure this life out."

"I have some good news if you could use some."

"Always."

"After a whack on the head like that I didn't want to become a burden someone having to tend me all my days. So I've kinda forced myself to back off and concentrate on healing my head, and if it didn't mend right then no one was committed to me."

Sara raised up on her elbow. "And?"

"Headaches have eased off considerably and I'm getting shadows and light, still fuzzy some in my eye, the ear is popping and I'm getting some volume back. Left eye is seeing close up pretty good, distance is soft and the right eye is finally starting to see shadows and movement. So looks like this might be just a temporary rearrangement of my noggin."

Sara squealed softly and squeezed him from behind in a hug and kissed his shoulder. "Really?!"

Sasha roused from sleep barely raised her head and 'woofed' softly and Jess softly patted her head.

"Maybe it took a good whack on the head to set a few things back up right, I dunno. Your ma and I had a long talk the other day and she sure helped me put my broken pieces back together.. all the way back to when I was a kid. Love her so much. Should better keep 'is under wraps till I get more sure, just thought you should be first to know some progress is happening, you tending me and all. All you done really means …."

She pushed back the covers some and pulled him onto his back and leaned on his chest and started pecking little kisses all over his face, shoulder and neck. He tried to avoid them but it wasn't working so well.

"you caring for ..…..Hey! … remember….. the ….. rules… kissing …in…."

"Ya, well, some things are just worth celebrating."

"Well, in that case…"

He sat forward laying her back on the bed, leaning over most of her body and with his left forearm in the valley of her wonders and his hand on her cheek, they shared a long, enduring, everlasting, prolonged, eternal, lengthy, elongated, extensive, (breathe in) and extended kiss. He curled into her body with his cheek on hers nuzzling her neck and she groaned, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist and squeezed his bum. She put her chin over his shoulder and moaned locked into his body for several moments before dropping back into the bed.

"I'm still going to fulfill your dreams, Jess Harper." She whispered in his ear as she tugged it with her lip covered teeth. He'd gone as far as he could without starting something he couldn't control and gave her a sweet kiss on the lips and pulled up.

"Thank you for being patient with me." He whispered back planting nibble kisses all over her flushed face.

She took his cheeks in her hands looking openly into his teal blue eyes with mistiness. "You're worth it, Jess." He planted a sweet kiss of thanks on her lips and she met it equally.

"I a….can't lay on this side very long yet. Follow me?"

"To the end of the earth."

He rolled back over on his left side and settled back in to Sasha's sleeping little body and Sara straightened the bedding between them, curled in at his back and the covers came up.

CHAPTER 13: IT'S A GIFT

Over at the Sherman house everyone had gone to bed, too. The twins were finally quiet and both of them were sleeping soundly at the same time much to the relief of their caretakers, nannies, babysitters, parents…well, their staff. Slim took his usual final night check at their cradles and kissed both of them while tenderly adjusting their blankets under their chins, one final check of the fireplace and he rolled into bed next to Josie who was waiting and had been watching him. The matching cradles were baby gifts from the Wentworths…ones they had used for their babies and they still looked brand new. Josie recognized the furniture name brand from a high end store in Denver she knew, so they were solid, handmade ones that never wore out. Josie rolled back making room as he slid in beside her pulling up his side of the covers and their bodies instantly nestled into each other where they enjoyed a whole string of kisses. Slim seemed to be more of the type of sharing meaningful kisses interspersed with whispered phrases of love and adoration which was more conversational. He would speak a phrase or two, they'd kiss several times, then Josie would say a phrase of love. Sweet nothings really. It would go on like that for a good five minutes before they'd settle into each other's arms and legs and then drift off in sleep intertwined like a tied knot. Well, lots of times there was the um…other activity just not so much every night or all night long as had been since their wedding night because now she was at full pace keeping up with the twins. Slim knew she was physically exhausted without complaining mostly due to the production of their food from her body. He adored her for that and had gotten to where he loved watching her feed them from her spickets and at his slightest hint at the idea, often the twin's last snack before sleep happened with the twins in bed with them and with everyone in their birthday suits surrounded by the bedding as curbs on the bed and a few hand towels for springing leaks or burps. He'd watch her feed each twin and then he'd hold the full one until they burped and fell asleep and he'd put their diaper and jammies on and put them to bed. He'd become a master at getting the burps knowing exactly what spots on their backs were connected to the burp button. Once done, he and Josie would fall asleep nested with as much bare skin touching each other as physically possible. That had been Josie's idea because it signified to her that they were completely open with each other and not covering up anything between them. Slim concurred open heartedly and he never looked back wishing to return to bachelorhood either finding his sleep had taken on both a new alertness plus a deeper peace once he'd conk out. On exhausted nights for either of them at least the kissing conversation happened without fail. On their wedding night Slim and Josie had privately covenanted between them they would always go to sleep in peace with each other just in case one of them didn't wake up, it would be the last thing they'd shared. That one had been Slim's idea and almost at his insistence on their wedding night before he would go forward in consummating their vows and Josie discovered she'd married a romantic man and loved him even more. He reported not so sure about the romantic part but he'd lived on the frontier all his life and had seen too many times where husbands and wives would die without notice and he wanted to be sure should that time come, that they would part in peace with nothing between them interfering with being eager to rejoin in heaven and be waiting at the gates. Tonight while watching Slim come in for a landing Josie could tell something was rattling around in his head sensing it was not between them, but something in his day so, as they lay cuddled enjoying the physical contact with each other's bodies she asked.

"Something's been bothering you last few days." Her voice was soft and was backed by the music of the fireplace popping. The firelight always highlighted the blue tones in both their eyes making them bluer.

Under his breath Slim "humphed" quietly. She knew that meant "yes, but not so much talkative." It also meant she was behooved to dig deeper to get him to open up because he needed to bounce something off her brain but didn't want to over tax her. It had been a smooth day and tonight she was fine so she was more than eager and willing to help that way.

"Anything I can help?"

Slim was quiet so long she looked up into his face. He was still awake but staring off over her head out the window into the night with a big, bright full moon painting beautiful black and white portraits of the country side. Their bedroom window faced nothing but the distant mountains and she preferred no covering curtains. So she began lightly picking at the very few blond wisps of hair on his chest. He knew by now that was a fore warning from experience that if he didn't start talking those picks would eventually tug harder and fewer strands of hair were pulled each time. It both tickled and hurt. Sometimes when she'd pick just the right hair and neither of them could find that specific hair on purpose, but there was that one hair that was like an "on" button and would instantly initiate elevations and lead to other shenanigans and tonight he was too tired for that "accidental exploration." Well, too tired to start something. Never too tired to nurture any need or desire she had and she had the call due to the pull from her body to feed twins. Oh, there was yet another hair that lead to instant giggling, but that was embarrassing to a male so I'm supposed to leave that nugget out of this report. Hers and the twins' need was always at the top of priorities even if he was dead tired, broke or both. His love for her had only deepened and he would move heaven and earth for whatever she needed or wanted. His magnanimousness was only expanding exponentially with the twins' growth as well. Anyway, slender fingers with an immaculate manicure was twirling its next victim.

"Just thinking about Annie riding on my lap. Had to be her first time on a live horse and walking one lap sitting on Jess and Traveler isn't real riding. Jess connects so completely to any horse and Traveler's such a sweet ride, 'at'd be like sitting in a rocking chair for her."

"It was beautiful, Slim. You both seemed to be enjoying it." Josie smiled at Slim's description of her twin's riding ability. She couldn't argue that point because in her experience she'd never seen a more compatible pairing. She knew Jess and Traveler were also emotionally tied together, she could feel it when standing close to either of them. She found it hilarious watching Traveler checking Jess' pockets for treats, sometimes nearly pushing him over if those morsels didn't come fast enough. But you'd never get Jess to admit to anyone he was sneaking treats to his horse, sometimes carrots, or a sugar cube, and she'd even seen apples come from his coat pockets. She'd even gotten to ride Traveler once, but she had to beg for that one time. Her husband was correct, Traveler may have technically been Quarter Horse, but he had gaits and indeed a sweet ride.

"Ya, we were. She was just giggling. Hard, you know, not even thinking about it, just giggling."

"So what's bothering you?"

"Not so much bothering. Was just remembering what Jess told me one time when he was explaining a dream he had. Was right after we found out you were his twin but that you'd died. He'd had a dream before he woke up from that stage assault you two went through. In the dream a baby girl was giggling and said how much he enjoyed hearing the sound of a child's giggle. Said it was rare to him and he could listen to it all day. Gave him energy. Annie's giggling must have been like what he was talkin' about. She was almost out of breath giggling so hard and he was right, it was pure music. Could you hear her?" Slim's voice was soft and smooth in a blissful tone.

"Not so much at that distance but we were watching and you could see it. Jess wouldn't take his eyes off watching you both."

"It was special. Girl like her probably never laughed in her whole life. Certainly not that hard."

"Girl like her probably never had a live horse ride either. It was her first." Josie hinted. "Jess was saying you'd have the twins on a horse before their first birthdays."

"You know that's a fact."

"Is that something special to a new daddy? His child's first horse ride?" She asked still trying to lead his thoughts. She hoped if she could get a male viewpoint of the event she might understand what Jess was NOT saying about his reference then to "some gift and sharing pastures."

"Well, of course. In the life we live, riding a horse is nearly as important an event for survival as walking that first step, or saying "Ma or Pa" is to living. You know that. Putting your child on a horse and them riding the first time's like them taking that first step walking."

"Yes, I do." She pulled one hair and Slim winced, so tired or not, Slim realized she was into a focused target he was missing and thought harder.

"So did Jess ask you to take Annie for a ride?" She was getting more pointed.

"Well, no. Annie was wanting to go faster and he looked at Bolero. Said earlier in riding Bolero his body wasn't up to nothing stressful on his stickers and he was already breakin' his promise to the doc to not ride a horse for a week." Slim chucked remembering Annie's words. "So I offered and Annie about jumped over onto Bolero…probably would have made it had Jess' rein hand not been holding her onboard."

"But it would have been her first horse ride. Something his heart would have been eager to do as her male guardian. She'd been calling him 'daddy' right?" Josie was stroking up the next chest hair and Slim knew he'd better get the answer right. The light bulb did go on.

"So I got his first daddy ride." It was both a question and statement of enlightenment. Something Slim had just done by warm generosity trying to help Jess in a condition of… physically… not possible… like Slim not able to give blood to Jessie, now realizing he'd jumped in and stolen a treasured moment.

"And got to hear…."

"…..her giggling her ears off." Slim finished the double barrel loaded statement. He sat up so abruptly, flung the bedding back and swiveled swinging his feet to the floor. He buried his face in his hands while leaning his elbows on his knees realizing what he'd done.

"Did Jess say anything?" Slim's voice was thin.

"I asked him why he was letting you do her first ride instead of saving that until he'd healed up."

"What'd he say?" Slim's eyelids were getting redder. Her answer confirmed Jess knew.

"I didn't really understand it." Josie leaned forward rubbing Slim's back. "He was quiet for a moment, looked down at his saddle horn and as he pulled Trav away he said, 'it was a gift, you two were sharing pastures and you'd understand that when your blood supply returned to normal.' Does that make sense to you?" Her voice peaked up slightly at the end of her question.

Slim gasped as his forehead went upward and he shot to his feet, took a few steps and then slapped the wall, rubbed his face with his hands then back each side of his head trying to hide some tears that were escaping and keeping his face away from Josie.

Josie' mouth pulled into a "mmmm mmmm" in admiration and the corners of her mouth raised at even just the rear view of her soul mate in his birthday suit and tried to stay focused. But it was very, very hard. His body had not gone through a twin pregnancy and was as fit as the day they married and he only looked 100 times more awesome without all the clothing. Every pore on his body was as fine and clean as was on his face and was just as evenly symmetrical all the way to his toes, often made her jealous. Both twins even had his fine pores, too. She couldn't imagine a more handsome, well-built male of the species and couldn't get enough of studying every inch of it in pure admiration, or touching every…. was even better. He kept telling her post-delivery that she "glowed" but she just thought in her head it was because she was reflecting his happiness. 'Focus, Josie girl, focus!' she thought quickly… She pulled her covers back, grabbed her thin, frilly robe that had been a part of a peignoir set that was a private gift from Slim and put it on over her birthday suit because the room was slightly chilly. He'd purchased three of these nightgown sets at a specialty store on their honeymoon but only gave her one during the honeymoon. The second one was a gift for her birthday two months later and the third one was a Christmas gift. All three were surprises both in his purchase of them, then why he'd even buy them when they both seemed to prefer sleeping together in their birthday suits. She loved wearing them because he'd given them plus they came in handy for midnight excursions to the bathroom or kitchen. Anyway, while watching her hands trying to fasten the ribbon tie as she walked on her knees across the bed to follow Slim she said, "Honey?" Her voice was completely filled with sudden concern.

Theirs was a custom built bed for a very tall person aimed at 6'5" so that meant the sitting down height at the edge was taller than usual to fit the taller man. Josie was about 5 inches shorter than Jess so that height caused Josie to have a small set of stairs on her side of the bed for entry and egress and without the stairs she'd have to jump either up onto or off the bed. Sometimes she had fun taking a running leap trying to land hard enough to raise Slim's prone body off the bed in play, often times leading into a marital wrestle full of laughter and ending in you know what. So as she approached the edge of the bed on his side (that was not the plan tonight) she started to swing around to have the angle to jump off but Slim heard her coming and turned knowing the bed's height was too tall for her. He was always concerned she'd hurt herself coming down off the precipice, especially on his side where there were no stairs. What that bed height also did was give her eye to eye contact with him, if not just a tad bit higher edge and one of the few places in their house she could gain that advantage on "serious topics." Tonight Slim turned to face her diving slightly with his knees bent just in case concerned she might slip off the bed and caught her on her knees putting them face to face, mostly. But then turning and seeing her, he slightly nodded his head and took in a small gasp in instant admiration seeing her beauty and motherhood in nothing but a thin lacey robe. She'd worked hard at regaining her svelte womanly shape and he'd invited his self into helping her generously apply special creams and concoctions on her tummy and core that had done wonderful things causing her incision seam to disappear. And yes, he'd need to clean his hands off the extra creams on other parts of her body, then she'd take some extra globs on herself and share with his provider body, sometimes working kinks and knots from his hard working body, sometimes sliding off each other but still leading to you know whats. She loved the gentleness of his touch and in the starting location the creams were often preceded by layers of tender kisses in gratitude and in honoring that part of her body for its work and gifts to him. Layers upon layers of kisses… that oft times grazed beyond her…incision area. Behind closed doors, Slim was very sweetly affectionate and gentle beyond words and both of them enjoyed complete freedom with each other's bodies. From their first meeting completely clothed her beauty had literally pulled strings deep inside his body and her beauty and those strings had only intensified since she'd birthed the twins and there were times when in the middle of their physical union moments he felt like she was completely inside his heart and even their breaths were conjoined. But on this night he stepped back into her and buried his head and face in her wonders of the universe – a position they both enjoyed. As he moved in,

"You married a fool, Honey. Purely fool." He muttered as he wrapped his generous arms around her now slender waist she'd worked hard at regaining. Over her heart was one of his favorite locations in the entire world, one he'd found he could trust and just let his self unravel and not have to hold up the world. Her body buried in his chest his arms wrapped around her nearly to his opposite elbow, so she was encased in his body and their capture of each other was even more precisely 'fit' to each other's shape than the twin hugs between her and her brother.

She held him tightly into her um….enjoying his face there and began stroking his hair every which way. "I did NOT!" she retorted lovingly and kissed the top of his head. "You're the kindest, most gentle and smartest man…."

"I am not!" He interrupted softly grumped still buried into her hold and sniffing tears. He realized his wet eyes were being dried by the material of her robe that was not quite covering her still actively producing spickets and on any other night would have quickly lead to the you know whats. But tonight he felt he didn't deserve that but still found it comforting being nestled in that valley, it's soft fullness, the edge of her lacey robe and particularly her holding him tightly into that very special tenderness. Her natural fragrance was particularly concentrated in that area especially since she'd been feeding the babies and was intoxicating more than whiskey. Neither one wanted to move because she enjoyed feeling every inch of Slim's birthday suit in all his ….manliness and it fascinated her how trim and firm every inch of him was. She truly enjoyed him especially when having dealt all day with baby this and that. Babies were truly delightful but he was a full adult male and it stirred her inside strings, too. Then Slim remembered the other thing Jess had mentioned about being in direct connection to her wonders and dadgum, how right he'd been about that, too. Things between Jess and his self, as men, he could never do an acceptable job trying to explain to a wife, a female, a petticoat….no matter how well joined their spirits had become. Itsa man thing.

Josie sensed her spirit's bond was struggling and it was very deep inside him, but this wasn't the time to push or force. He needed comfort for doing something he felt bad about and was hesitating sharing it with her for some reason, no doubt because it involved her twin. Jess and herself had such a strong inner bond she knew instinctively her husband could easily fall into feeling like a third leg and the outsider and that had to be prevented at all costs. To her, each man was attached to her heart in equal strength but at different locations and for different needs in her inner being. They were not competitors with each other for her and never felt that and tonight, her spirit's bond needed help. If he'd have latched on, she'd have emptied herself to fill him up, whatever and however much he needed. She had sensed when Jess had made that comment about sharing pastures that whatever was happening was deep within each man and is why she never pushed Jess for more of an answer. Now she knew she'd been correct by not pushing her twin, so she wasn't going to push her husband either. This was something the two men had to deal with between them and it was deep inside both of them.

Slim didn't know what to do or how much to share with Josie. It was a very long explanation going all the way back to when Jess had entered his life and what Jess had done by going beyond and showing up at Baxter Ridge. He pulled up sniffing lightly and tenderly kissed over her heart and then each side of the valley his nose had been planted. Then he looked up into Josie's face reading her open tenderness with her eyes speaking volumes of love without making one sound and he gently pushed her back into the messed up bedding and laid on top covering her entire body with his and began kissing her deeply all over and Josie responded equally meeting his contact and wrapping her legs around his slender hips. They bathed each other's head and chest with tenderness, Slim even went down to her belly button. But then Slim slowly backed up, slid off to her side and pulled the covers up over both of them while maintaining constant body contact with her. Her face was still open, light moistness had fallen from her eyes, the right kind of moisture from love sensing he needed her. So he laid his head sideways just below her wonders. After a few moment where she softly and slowly stroked his hair again Slim spoke quietly.

"I love your brother more than I love my own self, pushes my love for Andy. How does a man love another man and try to explain that to his wife, or anyone else for that matter without it going into any sexual decay?" He looked briefly up to her face and she was openly listening. So he laid his head back down and continued. "I don't love him like a man loves a woman and it is completely void of anything sexual. This is a different kind of love. I don't know, maybe it's more like the love of two twins apart from either one's sexual identification. I watch you and him and I've seen him with his other sister, Francie. What you two have is different than with Francie, who he loves, but they are two distinct personalities. You and him often don't need words. He needs words with Francie and nice as she was, she was in her own world. Please stop me if this bothers you, Jose." He looked up at her again.

She shook her head softly 'no', "No, please I want to hear this. I've watched you and Jess, too, and I'm thrilled that you two do have something special. Even Maggie and Chuck have mentioned it several times."

"Not only do I love the man, I admire him and then at other times I just want to hand him his head. He has such a different energy and I love his enjoyment of life, often causes chaos and I've had to pull him down out of the rafters several time before. But, Jose, his heart is pure gold, he's loyal to a fault and he won't stop until the truth has won. He's better than any friend I've ever known, male or female, and there's nobody else but him I can trust to have my back. I guess I'm trying to say the most, he fascinates me as a person. At first, when I first met Jess we tangled. Tried to throw him off the property two times within the first hour of meeting, we nearly got into a hand fight. It was a mess. Still haven't figured that out."

"What happened?"

"Well we were fixing to tie into each other when we were both thrown into a hostage situation and while we got free, he took off unwilling to get involved, but then showed up at the second scene. He set up cutting off the bad guys escape and I boxed them in from behind. All without planning it together. We whipped 'em, had the whole lot ready for the sheriff when he showed up. Then he rode on his way not willing to get tied down but I caught up and me and Andy got him to stay. But when we were fighting a problem together, we didn't need words or planning, we just moved as one. Every time since when we'd get into a jam, we'd still move as one without words or planning, I'd find him or he'd find me and we'd work together and get out of some scrape or another. Under pressure we could read each other clearly, when there was no pressure mostly we'd miss sometimes getting into an argument. He has his way of doing stuff, mine is different, but by putting the two plans together the outcomes are always the same. One of us is the hand, the other is the glove and it's a skin-tight leather glove. Biggest thing is, we started and through all this time, we'd both typically jump in to help but do it without asking or waiting permission. Just plow right in and do. Like when that kid called him out on the street there in Laramie when his right shoulder needed surgery…. I just jumped in at his back and drew the gun over his shoulder."

"I remember it clearly." Josie softly responded. "So that's what's happened now?"

"HE got to feel your pregnancy with HIS empathy – I didn't. I got left out. Then I was spitting mad he plowed through the waiting room to give blood saving your life and Jessie's, didn't even ask me. He's been doing all this giving and I can't keep up giving back. 'At's what I tore into him about a week ago, remember when we had a fight?"

"I remember hearing you beat him up, not so much him fighting back. I heard they had to pull you off him and it was him with the black eye." Her voice was soft with a tender prod.

Slim silently shook his head. One of the most identical parts of their twin-ness was they both spoke blatantly and you could count on them doing that. If he was wrong, both of them would clearly tell him and not try to hide it or do it diplomatically. They called a spade a spade, but it was refreshingly honest.

"Ya, well, Chuck and me had a chat and Chuck reshuffled my deck of thinking, helped me see some things from a more neutral perspective and that's when I went to Denver to get him back, and then Annie came along. Jess and I had a good talk on the way back and agreed we both have been jumping each other's fences and getting into each other's pastures without permission. But it was him who pointed out that happens because we're so close and alike we just run over each other but not on purpose. We're just like that hand and glove in the way we handle life. Or like he's a right hand and I'm a left and it takes both hands to get the job done. But we just need to be more careful 'specially now since we're even closer being legally family and all."

"So he jumped your fence giving us blood and you jumped his taking Annie's first ride?" Josie was pretty sure she'd got the idea, but it was making her run to keep up with him.

"Right. And once I looked back and 'my blood returned to normal' like him rebuilding his supply of blood in the hospital, I'd figure it out I was doing the same thing to him what made me mad about him leading to that fight. That "gift" he was gifting me was that first ride in return for his pushing in and giving blood for you and Jessie. Only I took his 'first ride' with Annie, again without asking permission and after we had decided to be more careful and get permission. Dag gone it! I'm such a fool! Doing the same raunchy thing I beat him up for doing! ….He didn't even say one word!... Somebody needs to beat me….."

"Well, you're lucky about one thing, Honey." She cooed softly and except for being a feminine voice sounded just like Jess.

"How?"

"You'll get a second chance when he actually physically produces his first child, a part of his own body, not the child he rescued off the street. When it comes from his body, he'll feel the difference." Josie scooted down in the bed more face to face and tenderly kissed the tip of his nose. "Why did you pull away tonight?" She asked softly in pure wonderment and their rule to never go to bed with any problems between them.

Slim looked in her eyes, then down at the bed. She pulled his chin up with her finger and reestablished eye contact. He looked sheepishly at her fighting tears.

"Tell me…" it was a soft, feminine determined urging bordering on loving threat.

"I…really need and want, b..but I didn't want you to think I saw you as Jess and me trying to make up with him…through you. I would never use you like that and have never looked at him with that in mind. When you and me are together, it's only you I see and feel. He's nowhere close in my mind. That's my rule and the way it will be when we're together. The inside me fell in love with you before I knew you were his twin. You are my wife, not his twin and there is no way I'm loving him when we're together. I may be only 2" tall tonight but I just didn't want to mess that up with you." Slim looked down slightly, soundly embarrassed. "Been making too many mistakes lately and don't want any with you. Would just kill me to hurt you. Kills me now knowin' I did that to him… dad gum! Wasn't even thinking!" he looked back down into the bed.

"You need….." She gave him a peck on the lips drawing his face back up with her lip lock…then as she spoke she put her finger back under his chin and drew him back down into the bed over her. "…someone to love you all the way to your toes." She began kissing him softly inching down his chest toward HIS belly button as he eased his self back over her. "And that's the way (X) it will be (XX) when we're together. (XX) You are my husband, (XXX) the father of our two precious treasures, (XX) not my twin and I'm not loving him (XXXX) when we're together." . . . . .

She did make it to his belly button but didn't make it to 5 kisses or below his belly button before Slim gently raised her chin with his index finger and looked intensely into her deep blue eyes. No words were necessary as for several moments they expressed their hearts through their eyes what no word containers or "sweet nothings" could ever hold. He eased fully down on top of her taking her in his hug but leaning on his own elbows, they kissed very long and deeply hungry for each other with her arms wrapped sweetly around his neck. With his arms full of the other part of his spirit, using the tip of his nose Slim slowly nudged her lacey robe back, kissed her heart and then bathed her um…. wonders in kisses and took some "token" sips. She arched her back lightly into his body and groaned deeply as she could physically feel the womb inside her lift towards him but she must have moved that one "on" button rooted in his chest. They both knew it so she gently rolled him onto his back and I assume "headed for his toes" and the you know whats. …I didn't wait to find out….….quickly left the room and ….softly closed the door.

END OF Part 4 - Selah


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